Chapter 19

After that impromptu movie night, Severus became much more comfortable in what was now his home. He and Lucius took turns cooking and cleaning. Sometimes they would even prepare each other's favorite meals when they knew the other was having a bad day. After dinner, they would retire to the sitting room with their sons. Sometimes they watched the telly. Sometimes they played with their sons. And sometimes they just talked.

It was how Severus expected things to be when Lily got pregnant that first time, but he tried not to think about that too much. He really liked Lucius and what they had together. He tried not to think about that too much either, but it began to get harder and harder to ignore those confusing feelings about one of his best friends. Eventually, he couldn't ignore them any longer, so he went to the only people he could think to go to.

Severus sat on his best friends' sofa, wringing his hands together. "Rem, Siri…h-how do you guys…I mean, how did you know that you were…that you liked guys?" he finally stammered out. He was so wrapped up in his nervousness that he didn't notice how unsurprised the couple looked at his question.

"Um, you just kinda know, Sev," Remus said, "At some point, you just realize that you like guys. Or you realize that you like both like Siri."

"But what if you only like one guy? What if there's only one guy that makes you feel a certain way?" Severus asked softly.

"Sev, you're talking about yourself, aren't you?" Sirius asked gently, "You have feelings for Lucius, don't you?"

The dark-haired man nodded. "I think…I might…I think I could see myself falling for him, but…it's just him. I don't like guys. I just like him."

"That's fine, It's not all black and white. Maybe it's not about gender for you," Sirius said, putting an arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Do you like Lucius because he's male?" Remus asked.

"No, I like him because he's amazing. He's sweet and fun and really caring, and he's helped me so much these past several months. He's one of the most incredible people I've ever met." Severus stopped and blushed furiously.

Remus grinned and pulled the blushing man into a hug. "You should tell him how you feel."

"But what if he doesn't feel the same way?" he said unsurely.

"But what if he does?" Sirius said.

"I'm sure he doesn't," Severus said, biting his lip, "I mean, what is there to like? I'm weak and needy and so stupid−"

"Severus Snape, stop it. You're not any of those things or any of the other horrible things you were going to say," Remus said firmly.

"Then why did Lily hate me so much, and why did she do those terrible things to me?" he demanded with tears in his eyes, "And how do I know Lucius won't do the same thing?"

"Lily was a horrible person who did horrible things that you did not deserve. You didn't deserve any of what she did to you," Remus said, taking the other man's hands in his own, "I can't promise that Lucius won't ever hurt you, but I honestly can't see him doing what Lily did. He seems like a very good man who cares for you very much, and I think you should give him a chance…when you're ready, of course."

"I'm scared."

"I know," Sirius said, "but Lucius could be really good for you, Sev."

"When you're ready, of course," Remus added.

Severus bit his lip and nodded. He'd think about it. This wasn't a decision to be made hastily. He had Harry as well as himself to think about, not that Lucius wasn't as amazing with Harry as he was with his own son. But he'd only just gotten out of his marriage a few months ago, though the marriage had been over for years. H knew that now. Maybe he'd act on his feelings eventually. Now, he'd pick up Harry and Draco from Lucius's parents' and pick up Lucius's favorite takeaway on his way home.

It had been over a month and Severus had yet to act on his feelings. Lucius was starting to worry that maybe he was imagining things. He'd been so sure that Severus had feelings for him, but he'd also been careful not to rush his friend into anything. Maybe I'm not as obvious as I think I am, he thought, Maybe he thinks I don't feel the same way about him. He was wary about speaking to Severus unless he was absolutely certain. He didn't want to make things awkward. So he went to the only people he could think of.

Remus and Sirius were surprised to see Lucius Malfoy at the door about a month and a half after their talk with Severus.

"I'm sorry, but I wasn't sure who else to talk to," the blonde man said as he was led into the sitting room.

"Um, that's alright," Remus said, taking a seat on the sofa with his boyfriend, "What can we do for you?"

"It's about Severus…obviously. I won't ask if he's said anything about me because I know you wouldn't tell me, and that's fine. It's just…at first, I thought that he…felt the same way that I feel, but lately, it seems like maybe I was just imagining things."

"You definitely weren't imagining things," Sirius said, but Remus elbowed him before he could say anything else.

"Why don't you just talk to Sev," the tawny-haired man asked.

"I didn't want to say anything until I was absolutely certain about where we stood. I didn't want to make things awkward or uncomfortable if Sev didn't feel the same way," Lucius said, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, he does."

"Siri! That's not for us to tell," Remus scolded.

"But Sev's obviously not going to say anything, so we have to make sure Lucius does. You are going to do something, right?" Sirius demanded.

"Yes, of course. Thank you both so much," Lucius said, standing to leave.

Lucius knew he needed to take things slowly. He wanted to ask Severus out, and he would. But he'd also continue to treat him with all of the love and kindness he deserved.