Hello, friends! It's been awhile, I know. Sorry about that. Real life intervened.
I thought very seriously about wrapping this one up with the two conversations I've got saved for the final chapters, but ultimately decided I wasn't quite ready to part with this story just yet. Unfortunately the updates are going to continue to be sporadic - real life hasn't quite calmed down yet - but I certainly haven't forgotten about this story, and I have a few more moments in Emily's life I want to delve into.
As for this one - we're visiting a not so young Declan again in an important moment for both him and Emily.
Happy reading =)
"Grandmothers are a delightful blend of laughter, caring deeds, wonderful stories, and love." – Author Unknown
"Hey, we're not interrupting, are we?" I hear her familiar voice ask quietly from the doorway.
"No," I say quietly with a serene smile as I glance up. "Come on in."
My gaze lingers on them for just a moment as they make their way into the room before my eyes are drawn back to the bundle in my arms. For the last few hours I've had a hard time focusing my attention on anything but the fact that I'm a father now. Being that Derek had been the exact same way after the twins were born, I'm fairly confident that it's a universal thing, and I don't feel too bad about it.
"Oh man, she's gorgeous. You two are in for some trouble," Derek says with his trademark grin as he peers down at my daughter, who's – for the moment – happily ensconced in my arms.
"Yeah," I reply, not really processing his words. My attention is solely on my daughter.
I hear Derek chuckle. "She's already got him under her spell."
"As if you weren't the exact same way with Tegan and Matthew," I hear Emily retort. I glance up and find Derek sticking his tongue out at Emily. I shake my head gently at their antics – some things never change. "How are you feeling, Kathleen?" Emily asks, turning her attention to my wife as she playfully shoves Derek in response to his antics.
"Exhausted," she answers honestly, "but also completely awake and alert. Does that make any sense?"
"Complete sense," Emily answers with a smile. "I remember those days well," she adds with a chuckle. "But everything went okay?"
"Just fine," Kathleen replies with a nod.
Emily smiles and looks relieved. "How was he?" Emily asks, nodding toward me.
"He was amazing. I would've lost my mind for sure if he wasn't there with me."
"Have you named her yet?" Derek asks after a moment of silence, no doubt a consequence of all of us focusing intently on the newborn.
"Leah Louise Kohler," I answer softly.
"Beautiful," Emily remarks, her voice quiet and teeming with emotion. She more than anyone outside of Dad knows the significance of my daughter's middle name.
"Do you want to hold her?" Kathleen asks, prompting me to turn and face Emily.
"Sure," she answers with a smile. "That is, if you don't mind, Dec. I can see she's already mesmerized you."
"Of course not," I answer quickly with a sheepish grin. "Here," I say, standing to allow the careful transfer to her arms. It's a bit strange – I would trust Emily with my life, and certainly would trust her with my daughter's life, and yet I still find myself fretting over having someone who isn't me or Kathleen hold her.
"Oh, hello," she coos as she begins to rock gently. "You are a sweet little girl, aren't you? You look just like your Mom."
"You think?" Kathleen says with raised eyebrows. "I don't see it."
"No, she's right," Derek says, peering over Emily's shoulder and gently repositioning some of the blankets around Leah's face to see her more clearly. "She has your nose, and your mouth."
"She has your eyes though, Dec," Emily adds with a smile as Leah squirms and opens up her eyes ever so briefly before closing them sleepily.
"Yeah?" I say unsurely. I'd noticed the similarities to Kathleen right away, but I hadn't noticed the eyes being similar to my own. I hadn't realized she has something of mine too.
"Definitely."
"You know, Em. Grandma looks good on you," Derek says with a grin.
She shoots him a look. "Of course it does. Why wouldn't it?"
I can't help the light laugh that escapes my mouth at her response. Their relationship is one that I'd always admired. Emily and Derek are both such strong individuals with strong personalities, but they have this way of fitting together seamlessly. They bicker and they fight, yes, but the respect and love they have for each other outweighs those arguments. You're never left with the impression that they won't be able to work out whatever it is they're arguing about. You can just tell they'll be okay after it's all said and done. And of course their near constant banter and witty remarks being thrown back and forth is always entertaining.
"Don't start, Em," Derek warns, pointing his finger at her.
"We're not starting anything, are we, Leah? No, we're not," Emily says, smiling widely as she swings her gaze back down to her unofficial-but-basically-official granddaughter.
"Oh, come on, Em," Derek says with a roll of his eyes, "you know I was only teasing."
Emily just laughs lightly, but keeps her gaze fixed on Leah. She carefully adjusts the blanket once more before gently stroking Leah's cheek, completely mesmerized by the baby.
"Well, I think I'm going to go grab myself a coffee and leave you two to chat," Derek says in a not at all subtle attempt to give us some privacy. It doesn't take a former profiler to recognize that Emily and I needed to spend some time together. "You want one, Declan?"
"That'd be great actually. Thanks, Derek."
He just nods as if to say 'don't worry about it' before pressing a kiss to Emily's cheek. I watch as he slips out of the room, and it's then that I realize how quiet it is. Kathleen has drifted off to sleep – and deservedly so since she'd given birth not so long ago – and Leah is sleeping soundly in Emily's arms. And just like that, it's just me and the woman I owe my very life to.
"God, Dec, she's beautiful," she whispers, emotions seeming to get to her as I spy tears forming in her eyes. It warms my heart to know she cares so much about me – enough that she considers herself a grandmother to my daughter, despite that she has children of her own. Ever since I was old enough to wrap my head around what she did to protect me – what she gave up to protect me – I've known she cares about me. And yet somehow it's always a surprise to me when these moments come along.
"Yeah, she really is," I say with a nod, moving to stand next to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder. We lapse into silence again, as each of us grapples with the significance of the moment.
"Do you think she looks like him?" I ask quietly, giving voice – albeit in a roundabout way – to the worries that had been gnawing at the back of my mind, behind the overwhelming joy, love, and slight terror of being a new father.
Emily blinks in surprise at my question and her expression is a mixture of worry and sympathy. I know instantly that she realizes what my real fear is – what if I've passed on bad genes to her? "I think she looks like the perfect mix of her parents," she replies gently. "And don't you dare give it a second thought, Declan. You're not like him, and neither is she," she finishes, her tone firm, but loving.
I blink as I digest her words. Her unwavering belief has calmed my fears, and I once again find myself grateful for her presence in my life.
"I'm so glad that you got this, Dec," she says suddenly after a few moments, meeting my gaze with eyes full of emotion.
"Got what?" I say, my brow furrowing as I consider her words.
She shrugs gently, careful not to jostle a now sleeping Leah. "All of this," she answers quietly. "Someone to share your life with, a daughter, a life full of love and joy…" she clarifies when she notices my still confused expression. "I'm so glad you got all of it."
"It's thanks to you that I have it all," I remind her.
She shakes her head to dismiss my words, but I don't let her. She went through hell to protect me and give me this life. Yeah, Dad raised me and made me into the man I am today, but Emily gave me that chance to be raised by him. I owe her everything.
"It's true," I say meaningfully, trying to make her understand that words aren't enough to express how grateful I am. "You gave up everything to protect me, despite that I was the son of the man hell-bent on killing you."
"I never saw you as Doyle's son, Declan. You were just Declan – this incredibly sweet and innocent little boy caught in a terrible situation. I had to make sure you didn't get pulled into all of that."
"And you did, and I'm so thankful for that. I mean it, Emily, I-"
"Dec, please," she interrupts. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You were worth it," she says with a smile. "And even if I didn't think that before, this little one would have convinced me."
"Still. I wish I could repay you for what you did for me."
"This right here – me, holding my first grandchild – is more than enough."
"You're such a mom," I say with a roll of my eyes.
"Damn right I am," she says with a grin. Her eyes drift back down to Leah as she begins to stretch and make quiet noises. "Oh, I miss those little squeaky noises," she says with a smile that grows with each grunt and squeak.
I take a moment to really watch her interact with my daughter, and I find myself overwhelmed by amount of love that seems to radiate off of her. Just how I'd lucked out to have her walk into my life and change it forever, I'd never know, but I do know that Leah is damn lucky to have Emily Prentiss as a grandmother and that I couldn't ask for a better role model for my daughter.
So...were Emily's first moments as a grandmother adorable? Did their conversation resonate with you? Let me know. :)