Chapter Fifteen…
Chapter Fifteen…What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger
Hell Bent for Leather
By EmiliosLoofah
Author's Notes: To my faithful readers...I know I've been taking forever, but this chapter was very difficult to write! I'm glad you've stuck with my stories and my long periods of absence!! Thank you all! (hugs)!!
A wee bit o' history: New Mexico wasn't made a state of the Union until 1912!
I'm sorry for taking sooooooo long to do this! I really need to get this done, no?! It's all completed in my head…now if I can just get it on Microsoft Word!
Let's give a BIG hand to my beta, Sue!! YEE-HAW!! She's been bugging me to finish this story!!
Chapter Summary: The last time we left off (so L-O-N-G ago)…Jessie managed to punch Arkansas Dave in the face (Ah! The thrill of victory!)…and Cole gets the telegram about Jessica's death in England…sniffs…
"What in the hell do you think you're doing?"
I looked across the table and stared into Doc's intense blue eyes. "I don't know what you're-"
"Bullshit!" Doc shouted, interrupting me as he slammed his fist on the table. His half-empty bottle of whisky shook, and then rolled off the table with a loud smash!
I sighed with frustration as I closed my eyes and sat back in the hard wood chair. "These are not the kind words I had hoped to hear from you…" I slowly opened my eyes and glared at him. "…after busting you out of the Lincoln pit jail, Doc." Why was he so angry? Wasn't he happy to see me?
Sitting beside Doc, Chavez chuckled. It was just the three of us in a small side room of Beaver's. Doc had asked for this meeting. Billy and everyone else were out eating, sleeping, or hopefully…taking a bath.
"Jessica…" Doc took my hand in his. "I'm sorry. I really am. I realize now that I should have taken you to New York with me."
I sighed again, and let him continue.
"Why are you still with him, Jessica?"
"You ask me this now? Did I have a choice in the matter? I'm wanted by the law-just like you and Chavez! Billy has kept all his promises to me…he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and he protects me…I trust him with my whole heart, Doc." I looked at him and then Chavez. I can't believe I have to explain myself to Doc, of all people. "You both left…and I do understand the reasons why. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, no kin in America. If it wasn't for Billy…I'd be dead."
Doc lit a cigarette and for several moments the three of us were silent. "You think he's faithful to you, Jessica? Billy should have married you by now, but, I know this…he doesn't even love you…he loves himself, and that's all he'll ever love…himself." Doc glanced at Chavez for a moment, then back to me. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."
My throat went dry for a moment. Doc hurt my feelings more than he knew. All the women, no matter what age or race, just loved Billy. He is very popular with the female folk. There was nothing I could do about that…even those times I've been so jealous and wanted to kill Billy. "Do you have proof of his…unfaithfulness?" I spat out the last word, crossing my arms in front of me.
"Well, no-"
"Then cease to discuss this matter with me no more, Doc."
Doc sighed, as the smoke from his cigarette slowly drifted my way. "How did he convince Charlie to join the both of you?"
I grumbled a curse, wondering how to respond. Charlie joining us so soon after he just got married wasn't right, and it was still a sore subject between Billy and me. Billy has a talent-he can easily influence people to do what he wants. It's as simple as that. The best (and worst!) characteristic he has is charisma He could easily convince anyone to do practically anything he so desired. "You know how Billy is." I shrugged…there was no need to put in plain words. I knew that Doc and Chavez understood what I was talking about.
"I sure do know how he is…" Doc told me, his blue eyes serious. "The question is…do you?"
I glared at Doc once again. He made me so…aggravated! Who in the hell was he to tell me these…fictitious lies? I just wasn't going to take it any longer. "Damn you, Doc! You can go straight to bloody hell!" It was my turn to slam my fist on the table. I will not take any more of Doc's abuse today. "I am a child no longer…I consider myself emancipated, Doc…and have been so, since my Father was murdered by that bastard Murphy. What I do with my life is none of your concern anymore. Whatever pact you had with my Father concerning my welfare ceases to exist. Is that clear?!"
Doc looked stunned at my eruption. His mouth was open in shock, causing his lit cigarette to drop on the table.
I glanced over at Chavez, who had cleared his throat. He seemed surprised by my outburst as well, but was his usual stoic self. "I will always be responsible for your well being, Bonita. I made that oath long ago."
I opened my mouth to reply, but Chavez quickly stood up, his dark brown eyes locked with mine. "No. Be silent. Listen to me…both of you. Let's just focus on going to Old Mexico. It's our only chance."
"Alright." I agreed with Chavez. After all, he is right. If anyone, Billy could get us out of New Mexico alive.
Doc frowned. I knew he didn't think it was the best of ideas…but what other choice did we have?
A few minutes later Doc, Chavez and I joined Billy and the rest of the gang in the main room at Beaver's place. I sat a little ways away from the rest of the group, observing them all loading up, checking their weapons and such. I sighed, fingering the cold metal of my two pistols, and felt the heavy load of my scatter, and spare shells strapped to my back. Two knives were strapped to my thighs. I was more than ready.
The only one not participating was Garrett…he sat near a window, his rifle on his knee, keeping watch. As if he felt I was looking over at him, he glanced my way, giving me a small grin. I grinned back at him.
"Where are all the boys you said you have? This army you've talked about, Billy." Doc asked.
"They're comin'." Billy told Doc as Jesus Silva walked in…with a tall white man behind him.
Billy gets up, and looks behind the stranger. "Hey, Jesus…just one…that's all you could find?"
"No one want to come…afraid…" He explained to Billy in broken English.
Billy sat back down in his chair, looking a little defeated. I've never seen him look that way before. I suddenly felt panicky. I watched as Billy looked over at the tall man with great disappointment.
Dave studied the stranger with interest. "You a farmer?" Dave asked the stranger.
"Yes sir." The tall man replied. "My name is Hendry William French."
"Have you ever shot anyone before?" Dave asks with a wiry grin. "Hendry William French?"
He looked at Dave, and shook his head no.
Dave snorts. "Why is it that you want to ride with my gang?" He inquires, taking his scatter, and checking it out.
"I ain't a farmer no more," Hendry explains. "Lost my wife to the pox…lost my land soon after that."
I glance over at Doc. He looks worried as he continues to pour powder into paper cartridges right quick.
"Hey, Big Casino," Billy grinned over at Garrett. I smiled to myself in regards to that term of endearment. Garret called Billy 'Little Casino' for some time now. "Think you can take a foot off this one, huh?" He asks, tossing Hendry's shotgun at him. "You want a Peacemaker for back up? God did not create all men equal. Mr. Colt did."
Garrett catches the gun, as we all chuckle at Billy's joke.
"I don't think I'm going to make this one, Kid." Garrett states.
What was this? Garrett isn't coming with us? My mouth dropped open with surprise. This was the last thing I ever thought Garrett would say.
Billy glared at Garrett, trying to stare him down, which is impossible, since Billy is only five feet six…and Garrett towers over him at what, six-four? "What do you mean?" He asks Garrett, his tone dangerously low. "You gotta come with us…what are you gonna do? Scrub pots for Beaver?"
"I may have Beaver scrubs the pots for me…I'm buyin' this place." He smiles at Billy, and then glances in my direction. "I'm turning it into an eatin' house. There's money coming into this place…I have to stake my claim while I have a good enough name."
Billy snorts with amusement. "You've been riding with known men, Patsy…you've always wanted to be a known man in New Mexico!" He playfully punches Garrett in the arm.
"I will be a known man…hell, when you come riding through here next time; they'll be a sign, that'll say 'Garrett's Place'…" Garrett sighs and gives Billy a serious look. "It's high time I've earned an income that isn't from stealing horses."
I watch the conversation between the two of them. I identified with Garrett's feelings on wanting to get out, and lead a 'normal' life. He wasn't a wanted man…yet. Give or take a few more weeks…months…and everyone would know Pat Garrett rides with Billy the Kid and his gang.
"You remember this," Billy said slowly. "I've never stole a horse from a person that I've never liked. If I didn't like him, I wouldn't even bother with him."
"Yeah, you'd just kill him!" Dave laughs, and after a moment, looks around and wonders why no one else is laughing. This situation is serious. What were we going to do without Garrett? We need him…especially now.
Garrett gave me a small smile of farewell, as he walked towards the door.
"Now hold on a second, Patsy! You're one of us!" Billy sounded hurt…and irate as well. You've always been one of us!"
Garrett paused for a moment, and then turned to look at Billy. "And I always will be, Billy." With that, Garrett exited the building.
"Well, go on then!" Billy shouted. "We don't need you, Pat!" Billy looks down at his feet for a moment. I hear him mutter, "We don't need him."
I glanced around to see everyone in a state of confusion. I couldn't let Garrett depart without saying goodbye. My head, along with my heart unexpectedly hurt. For reasons I didn't understand, I rushed out of Beaver's, hoping to catch Garrett before he leaves. I understand why he's leaving us…and I wished I could as well, and settle down. Settle down with Billy and live a happy life in New Mexico.
Garrett was preparing his horse, when I ran outside. "Garrett-WAIT!" I shouted. He turned to look over at me, and then grinned as I walked over to him.
"What is it?"
"I realize why you are leaving, Garrett," I slowly told him. "I'm glad you're getting out, really I am."
He laughed. "Anxious to get rid of me, Tunstall?"
"You know what I mean." I sighed. "And Billy still cares for you, Garrett."
"Is that the only reason why you came out here…to tell me that Billy still cares for me?"
I just stood there, looking up at him. I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Uh…" I was at a loss for words.
Garrett gently took my hands in his. His thumbs tenderly slid over my knuckles, causing goose bumps to spread over my body. "I will miss you, Tunstall…more than you know. I will expect to see you coming through here every so often; with or without Billy…do you hear me?"
I nodded. "Yes. Take care, Garrett. I will miss you."
He smiled, and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. I could feel my face turn red, and quickly went back into Beaver's Place, so Garrett couldn't see my red face.
Walking in, I noticed Billy was gone, but that orphan, Tom was sitting at the table in between Chavez and Doc.
"What happened?" I asked. "What did I miss?"
"Jessie…meet the Prince of Pennsylvania." Dave chuckled.
I smiled at Tom. I took a quick look around the room to see Billy had departed. "Where has Billy gone?"
I dunno." Charlie answered, looking a little troubled. I narrowed my eyes, wondering what was wrong. I glanced over at Chavez. His dark brown eyes told me that something was amiss. I quickly left without another word, in search for Billy.
I checked everywhere for Billy, but he could not be found. I even checked the barn. I was worried about him-where could he be? God, what if Doc was right?
Oh, no, Doc couldn't be right. I knew Billy. He was all play, and I knew he loved me as much as I loved him.
I wandered into the Maxwell home, only to find Pete was gone. Maybe Billy had gone to Roswell with him.
Turning to leave I heard a female giggle, along with a well known male chuckle I had so gotten used to. I slowly walked over to Paulita's wing of the house, hoping not to make any noise, and stood outside of her door. Waiting…waiting…oh Lord…
"God, Paulita…you feel so good…"
What? What was this? My Billy…with another woman? Oh my God…Paulita…my friend, Billy's friend…oh shit!
I heard a roar inside my head…something that has never happened before. I closed my eyes, wishing the pounding in my head would stop. I then clamped my right hand over my mouth, in fear of screaming in disappointment…in lament…over my broken heart right here in the hallway. I felt like I was going to throw up, my stomach was in knots. Trying to calm myself down, I closed my eyes and held my fury in check for a moment…but for only a mere moment. I wanted to kill Billy…I wanted to kill Paulita!! Without a moment's hesitation, I grabbed my shotgun from my back, and with a roar, I kicked the door in, to see the two of them in bed together.
"Jessie!" Billy shrieked in surprise…and then fear.
"Jessica!" Paulita shouted, pulling the sheet up over her nudity.
"You Goddamn son of a bitch! You cheating bastard" My shotgun was loaded, and I aimed for the bed. I looked over at Paulita, who was trembling with fright. "You damn puta!!" I screamed at her, calling her a whore in her native tongue.
Paulita started to cry…probably out of fear that I would kill her, not because she was with Billy, I suspected. As for Billy…my Billy…he jumped off the bed, covering his front with a pillow, no knowing what to do at this moment. "I loved you, Billy…loved you But now I know…you only care for yourself, you rotten bastard!" I screamed at him. Damn Doc for being so precise in regards to this! God, why didn't I know this before? Why was I so stupid?
"Now, Jessie…put down that scatter…" Billy actually sounded frightened, trying to calm me down.
I re-holstered my scatter on the case on my back. "I'm done with you, Billy!" I screamed, taking hold of the necklace and heart charm he bought me, and ripped it off my neck. I threw it at him with disgust. "I don't ever want to see you again, you cheating asshole" I turned away, and fled the house, before he could say or do anything else.
I quickly ran to the barn and got Pal ready. "We're out of here, Pal." I told him. Thankfully, Pal was ready to ride, I had the saddlebag packed before Garrett had left Beaver's place. Without letting anyone know I was leaving, I quickly mounted Pal, and rode out of Fort Sumner like a bat out of hell.
Only when I was out of Fort Sumner, I let myself cry.
Just outside Roswell, I ate a light supper at a small saloon, and was deciding what to do next. I really had nowhere to go. I never wanted to see Billy again, that much I knew.
I wondered which direction Garrett had gone. I wasn't sure where he was going; he had never said anything about his plans to anyone. I wished I had asked him, I hated to ride alone, since I am a wanted person by the law. Fortunately for Garrett, he isn't a wanted man, and could go anywhere he so liked.
Sighing, my heart still breaking over Billy, I kept my head down, and mounted Pal, thinking that I should get out of town, and head for the Mescalero Reservation once again, where I could be safe…from bounty hunters and Billy alike. Oh, God! I wish I had gotten Chavez, Doc or Charlie to come with me! For the first time I was truly alone.
Riding out, I glanced down to stare at my silver ring…the only cherished item I had left that my Father had given to me. 'Happy 16, JMT, 01/01/78'.
It seemed liked decades since I was sixteen.
I loud BOOM! had snapped me back to reality. I was being chased…oh; this was a great way to end this awful day…I tried to grab my scatter, which was near impossible while Pal was in full gallop.
Another shot rang out, as I had grabbed one of my pistols. Too late, I realized …the last shot had happened to hit Pal straight in the neck. With a deafening cry of pain, Pal started to fall, with me still on top of him. I screamed in terror as well, falling with my horse.
Tears sprang into my eyes, as I hoped Pal would live through this, even though I knew deep down in my heart he was dying. His blood was all over me, as I quickly made sure my right leg was out of the saddle, so I wouldn't be crushed by Pal's weight…and as we landed on the ground, I jumped, landed on the ground…and turned to shoot my pistol at the bastard…or bastards that shot Pal.
"Hola, querida…." A deep voice from behind greeted me. Before I could do anything, I was hit in the back of the head, and the blackness swept over me…
WooHoo! Cliffhanger! Don't ya'll hate me now? Bwa ha ha ha ha!! Don't worry-I'll get to the next chapter soon!!
This will all make you laugh! After Sue read this, she told me: "I believe that (about getting to the next chapter soon), like Jess believes Billy is a faithful S.O.B! Ha ha!