Chapter 7: Give a Heart Away
Johanna laughed at Gale's overtly giddy expression as he maneuvered the Range Rover into his usual space in the garage. He looked happy, more so than she had seen him in a while. It lifted her spirits to see him looking so carefree for a change. Johanna knew that he worried about Katniss. She was more of a little sister to him than a best friend. Gale took the role of protector upon himself, never listening when both Johanna and Katniss herself tried to deter him. The success of last night's outing had lifted a load from Gale's shoulders. What that load entailed was not information he shared with Johanna. She accepted that there were facets to their long friendship that she would never fully know or understand. Johanna knew that Gale loved her. As long as that fact remained, she didn't need to know anything else.
"Do you think they can fly solo from now on or will we have to babysit them for a while longer?" she questioned playfully.
He grinned at her, his gray eyes alight with shared amusement. "I don't know. They looked pretty cozy when we dropped them off last night. Good Lord, she even wore a skirt. We could be completely off the hook." Johanna rolled her eyes at his hopeful tone. Yep, he was definitely giddy. She almost dreaded the moment he set eyes on Katniss. The teasing was going to be epic. The car slid to a stop and Johanna twisted to get her bag out of the back seat. Snagging the shoulder strap, she unsnapped the seat belt and prepared to exit the car. She was about to ask him teasingly if he had forgotten how to open the door when she caught sight of his face.
The gray eyes had lost all semblance of gaiety. His brows were drawn down, lips pressed together tightly as he stared fixedly at the car a couple of spaces over. Johanna followed his gaze, feeling a mild tingle of shock as she recognized Katniss' Jeep. She felt a knot of something curl through her belly. Katniss was never on time, nor did she ever beat them to the office. It didn't necessarily mean that something was wrong, however; it was just strange enough to curb their good mood and bring an unexpected tension to fill the void. "Damn it," Gale hissed through his teeth. "Damn it all to Hell." Apparently, he knew something more than Johanna did in this particular case. Exchanging grim glances, they grabbed their gear and headed for the elevators at a fast pace.
The office was mostly deserted when they pushed the door open. The clatter and low voices from Haymitch's area showed that Effie Trinket was already hard at it. The smell of fresh bagels and coffee indicated that she had stopped on the way in and procured breakfast. In the main room, Annie sat at her desk looking lost in a stack of case forms. Annie handled the group sessions with Finnick and did the more rigorous one-on-one sessions herself. She had clearly picked up the memory pictures from the first group and was examining both the drawings and notes to have a baseline once the personal sessions started today. She was engrossed in whatever she was currently looking at and didn't notice them enter. The only other occupant failed to notice their appearance. Katniss was huddled in her chair, legs drawn up and arms clasped tightly around her knees. She appeared lost in thought but otherwise okay. Johanna breathed a sigh of relief and glanced at Gale. His eyes looked desolate and lost as they took in her curled up form. Johanna frowned, now realizing that she was missing something important. Katniss peered at them over her bent knees and Johanna reeled at her expression.
Her eyes were red and swollen, dark circles faintly visible even across the room. She was pale, wan, and looked like she hadn't slept at all. Her mind flickering back to the laughing, joking girl from the night before, Johanna couldn't reconcile this image with that memory. She had no idea what could have happened in so short of a time to have brought about such a change. She looked back at Gale hoping for an explanation, but the change in him was even more puzzling. Fists clenched at his side and breathing heavily, he looked ready to charge through a brick wall. She put a hand on his arm to stay him and draw his attention to her. When he met her gaze, she hissed, "What the hell is going on, Gale? She looks like she hasn't slept in a week and your head is going to explode if you don't lighten up. What am I missing? Does Peeta have anything to do with this?"
Gale's eyes softened and he shook his head reluctantly, "No. He didn't have anything to do with this, at least not directly. I should have seen this coming. I shouldn't have pushed her."
Johanna snorted, "Shouldn't have pushed her. Gale, she wanted to or she wouldn't have gone. You know that as well as I do. She's never been interested before. You saw the difference this time. Don't tell me you didn't. She wanted him. I don't understand what's brought this reaction on. You know he wouldn't do anything to hurt her."
Gale shook his head, "I knew she was interested, Jo. That's not what I meant. She told me she wasn't sure. I pushed her to open up. She's obviously not ready. She may never be." He pounded his fist into the open palm of his other hand. "I knew I shouldn't have pushed her. This is completely my fault." Johanna shook her head but his eyes were back on the form sitting across the room. She gently took his hand and forced his attention back to her.
"I want you to get some coffee and calm down. Go on. I'll talk to her." She inclined her head toward the common area. "Just go, please. She doesn't need you hanging around interrogating her and feeling sorry for yourself over something you can't do anything about." He finally consented. Johanna absently brushed his cheek with a hand, then watched as he made his way toward the snack room. She blew out a breath and walked over to Katniss' desk, deliberately taking a chair in the girl's line of sight. "I would say good morning, but I can see that it's not. Care to tell me what's bothering you?" she questioned gently.
Katniss' eyes met hers briefly before resuming her staring contest with the far opposite wall. "Where's Gale?" she asked. "Did he leave?"
Johanna shook her head, "I sent him for some coffee. He looked like he needed it. So do you for that matter. What happened, Katniss? Did you and Peeta have a fight after we left?" Her tone implied that she didn't really see this as an option, but she asked anyway to be thorough. A hesitant head shake was her answer. "Then what is it? You know you can talk to me. What has you so upset that Gale freaked out just from the sight of you?"
Katniss met her friend's worried brown gaze and felt tears sting her eyes again. She ruthlessly suppressed them but the knot in her throat refused to be dealt with quite so easily. She swallowed noisily and felt a sob shake her shoulders. Fighting against the emotions which threatened to swamp her, she mutely shook her head. Johanna's hand on her arm broke whatever hold she had on the wellspring of tears and they began to flow silently down her face. Seeing this, Johanna's arms encircled her and Katniss let herself fall apart, crying desperately into her hands even as Johanna held her tightly. "I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't," she choked out, her voice trembling. "I can't do this again."
Johanna let her cry it out and gently rubbed her back as she wound down. "Can't do what? Honey, nobody is going to make you do anything you don't want to do. Not me, not Gale, and certainly not Peeta. What is going on?"
Katniss shook her head again, angrily wiping her eyes. "I know that. Peeta even said that it was up to me how far we would take this. He left it completely in my hands." Her mouth tightened in a parody of a smile, but there was no amusement in it. "We decided to wait until Prim made it through before defining it. I made that deal with him. I did, but I shouldn't have. I can't do this and I won't hurt him by pretending I can." She grabbed her bag and leapt to her feet. "Thank you, but I've got things to do. I'll see you later."
Johanna watched her as she practically ran from the room. Turning back, she met Annie's eye. The brown-haired woman had witnessed most of the exchange. She looked just as confused as Johanna felt. What the hell had happened and how were they going to fix this? Her cell phone beeping cut off that train of thought as she pulled it from her pocket and flipped it open. Her brow furrowed as she read the e-mail. "Jo, I had to cut out. I'm going to see Peeta. He deserves to know why she won't see him anymore. See you later today. Will explain then. Love, Gale." Hissing in frustration, Johanna shoved her phone back into her pocket and tromped to her desk. Somebody was going to explain to her exactly what was going on, preferably before she lost it and punched something. She grabbed a pile of files and began initialing class reports, momentarily losing herself in the tedious task.
Rue was gone from the room when Prim returned from her one-on-one session with Annie Cresta. The woman was nice and seemed genuinely interested in the drawing she had sketched in group. She questioned Prim as to why that she had chosen that memory in particular. Prim responded that her brother had raised her after their parents died. He always made sure to spend time with her, and that made her happy. Annie asked her to try and be more specific—what was so special about that memory. Prim had been so distracted in her thoughts about Rue and how to help that she couldn't come up with a real answer. Ms. Cresta didn't seem angry, but Prim could tell she thought there was more to the story than was being said. She didn't have time to play these silly games. She had to get to Peeta. It was the only way to help her friend.
Prim had talked to Katniss briefly after the infamous visit. Katniss had asked about the classes Prim had chosen, how she liked her roommate and made general small talk. She accepted Prim's monosyllabic responses but regarded her with curious eyes. Katniss had seen through Prim's attempts to hide that anything was wrong. She didn't call her out on it, but they both knew that something wasn't right. Prim dreaded the inevitable questions. She didn't want to lie to Katniss. She didn't want to lose the respect and trust that had been forming between them. It was almost like having an older sister. Prim didn't want to lose that feeling, but she couldn't allow her friend to suffer any more pain. So she hedged and gave deliberately vague answers to any questions that came her way.
The door opened silently and Rue shuffled in. Her gait was painful and slow. Prim leapt from the bed and immediately ran to help her. She eased her down onto her blankets, fingers probing her middle where Rue's arms were protectively folded. A strained hiss alerted Prim that there was indeed something hidden beneath Rue's shirt. She asked softly, "Can I see? Please?" Rue's big doe eyes hazed over with tears and she moved her arms, wincing as pain arched its way through her body. Prim pushed up the shirt hem and gasped, tears filling her own eyes. The bruising was just starting to become clear. The skin over her ribs was scraped in places, red and raw in others. She traced the clear pattern of a shoe print outlined in bluish purple on Rue's scrawny back. Biting back tears, Prim softly asked, "Are your ribs broken, Rue? Did they hit you anywhere besides here?"
Rue shook her head, wincing and her hair swung with the motion. Prim spotted something behind her left ear and gently caught her friend's shoulder, angling her head for a closer look. A thin line of blood beaded up behind her ear, the bald spot where hair had been harshly jerked out blatantly obvious now that she knew where to look. "We have to tell somebody. You can't take this. It will kill you!" Prim grated. Rue shook her head violently. "You have to let me. I can't stand by and let this happen, Rue. You're my friend. They can't get away with this."
Rue slurped down a glass of water and then held the glass out for another. "You can't tell. They will hurt you or my family if you do. They know too much about what goes on here, Prim. You can't get involved." She slipped an extra sheet out of the closet and began to fold it lengthwise until she had a sturdy bandage. Prim helped her remove her jacket and lift the shirt. She then wound the sheet as tightly around Rue's torso as she could stand it. Next, she got a wet cloth and dabbed at the blood crusted area behind her ear. Prim had scrounged a couple of alcohol wipes and some antibiotic ointment from the medical area. She swabbed the area, blowing on it lightly to take away the sting, and then put a thin layer of the ointment over it to stave off infection. "Rue, how did you know what Enobaria was talking about? Did you know her before?"
Rue shook her head and eased down in the pillows. Her breathing was shallow and halting as she shifted, trying to get comfortable. Prim picked up her spare pillow and eased it behind Rue's back. The answering sigh assured her that her friend had found a way to rest without further aggravating her injuries. "My aunt made a deal with one of the members for a shipment. Cray, I think his name was. He's old and tired looking. Been in the life too long. She gave my little sister to them for a supply of meth. I volunteered to go in my sister's place. She's only eight. I couldn't let that old man carry her off. I begged them to let me go instead. They are called the Gamesmakers. Stupid name, if you asked me. They are big, powerful, and mean. Cray must be pretty high up. He made the deal for the trade. They call us tributes, the ones who are brought in to settle a debt. Tributes are the lowest you can get. They do the dirty work, get beaten, and are killed if they do the slightest thing wrong. I had been there for about a week. I saw Enobaria in and out before she got picked up. The other two were there, too. They just hung around, hoping that someone would notice them. They've got the marks but haven't officially been brought in yet. That's how they knew me. I ran off because Cray told me that he was about to get my little sister. My aunt had gone through her stash and needed more. She was going to give up my sister this time. I knew she would have them holed up in that old house in the Seam. It was the only place she had left to go. I waited until the coast was clear and took off. I'm small so it was pretty easy to slip past most of their guards. I found the kids starving in that house. The police picked me up when I was digging through the dumpster behind the bakery. Since they throw out the burned loaves, I figured that would be the quickest way of getting them some food since I didn't have any money. Plus, I had to stay low because I knew Cray would be looking for me. When I got arrested, I took the chance because I had to. I couldn't leave the kids there. You know the rest."
Prim's mind reeled at the story Rue told so bluntly and unfeelingly. It was barbaric what her friend had been through. Prim didn't think she could have endured it, much less had the wit to escape and get help. Her friend was much braver than Prim had ever thought about being. She just had to help her. She eased her other pillow under Rue's knees to keep her as still as possible and then lay down on her own bunk. Tomorrow, Prim decided, she would find a way to call Peeta. Then he could fix it so Rue could be safe. Prim's eyelids drooped and she fell into sleep, absolutely knowing that Peeta would fix it if she could just tell him. He could fix anything. He always had.
"Peeta, Gale Hawthorne is here to see you. Do you want me to show him in?" Sae's voice pulled him out of the reverie he had fallen into yet again. Peeta had been fighting a losing battle all day, trying to concentrate on work. Every time he made the slightest bit of progress, a memory of silvery eyes in the moonlight would flit through his mind and he was lost. Dark hair spilling in waves over slim shoulders. Dancing to a song of falling water and clanging chimes. A pleading voice begging him not to make her fall in love. The knot in his throat when he saw tears about to fall and didn't know how to stop them. The smile when he said he wasn't going anywhere. The softness of a stolen kiss before her door slipped shut behind her.
Peeta shook his head, angrily scrubbing his hand through his ashy blond curls. Damn it. He had to get his mind back on his work and soon. The client had approved the mock up design with minimal changes. He had to get those revisions done by end of day so that they could be at the printer in the morning for the first run. Blowing out an irritated breath, Peeta keyed the intercom. "Send him in, Sae, and hold all my calls for the rest of the day. I have to get this draft done before leaving." He heard her acknowledgement and then released the line.
The door banged open and Gale Hawthorne eased into the office. Peeta smiled and made his way around the desk, hand outstretched. "I never got the chance to thank you for getting those tickets," he stated. "It was a really great night. We'll have to do it again soon." Gale smiled half-heartedly and returned the handshake. Peeta's brow furrowed and he gestured for Gale to take a seat. He looked at the other man, noticing that Gale's usually teasing demeanor was absent. "Gale, is something wrong?" he asked quietly. "Is it Prim or Katniss?"
Gale's eyes clouded and he seemed to hesitate before speaking, "No. Your sister is fine. I need to talk to you about Katniss. It's something that I should have told you earlier. I initially considered it," he remarked critically. "But I didn't think it would be an issue so I held off. It was wrong of me to do that and I owe you an apology."
Peeta raised his brows, thoroughly confused at this point. "You should have told me what earlier? Is she sick or married? Forgive me, but those are the only two things that I can think of to spark such a visit. So which is it?"
Gale looked slightly annoyed at his tone. His jaw worked briefly as he pondered how to attack this issue. Head on, he decided, was usually the best way. "She likes you. That much is obvious. It was even before we went to that concert. You seem to care about her, too." He glanced at Peeta for confirmation and received an impatient nod for his trouble. Gale continued, "I figured as much, which is why I wanted you two to go out. She hasn't exactly been sociable and if anyone deserves to be happy, it's her." He rubbed his hand through his hair wearily. "Katniss was never an open person, even when we were kids. She doesn't trust or make friends easily. She is the most loyal person I know. But things have happened to make her lose faith in what most people take for granted. She's lost two people very important to her, and in the worst way that anyone could. It's left her scared and scarred. It's left her afraid to let go with anyone again. She's lost almost everyone she's ever loved. Somebody like Katniss can't let go of that. She won't, because she's afraid she will lose someone else. She can't take that kind of hurt again. It would kill her."
Peeta bit his lip. This was definitely not what he had been expecting to hear. That explained her begging, "Don't make me fall in love with you. I don't think I could handle that." She had told him what but not the why. It appeared as though Gale had come with the intentions of answering that question. "Who did she lose?" Peeta asked huskily.
"She lost her father right before we graduated high school. He was a mining inspector. Gas pocket let go and he was caught in it, along with five others. None of them made it out." Gale's voice faltered but he forced himself to continue. "The second was my brother, Ryder. They were engaged. He was killed overseas during his deployment while guarding a convoy. They were supposed to be married the next time he got leave. I'm the only one who knew about the engagement. It almost killed her when the call came. She shut down completely. She dove into her work. It went on for months at a time and I wouldn't hear from her except for work stuff. Finally, she seemed to get her feet back under her. I thought she was ready to live again. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have encouraged you. She's scared to death and close to going off again. Ryder and her Dad dying so close together opened up something in her. I don't know how to fix it. I don't think she does, either. I just wanted you to know. I don't think she'll agree to a repeat of last night. She's too afraid and she won't risk it."
Peeta slowly digested this news, examining it through the framework of her actions the previous night. The tears and the pleading made perfect sense now that he knew the history behind the actions. And yet, she had still let him kiss her. She still agreed to the three month waiting period. From what Gale was insinuating, her nerves had gotten the better of her. She was reneging on that deal. Peeta knew that left him with two courses of action: he could respect it or he could fight for what he wanted. Biting his lip, Peeta closed his eyes and replayed those moments on the roof once more. He let out a shuddering breath and reached his decision.
"Gale thanks for telling me," Peeta stated. "You're a good friend to her and to me. You're a hell of a guy to bring this to me, you know. Most people would have just stayed out of it and let the whole thing blow up. I appreciate that you didn't do that."
"I don't work that way. Not when it comes to important things. I'm only an ass when nothing is on the line. It makes life easier that way." Gale grinned crookedly at his own joke before becoming serious, "You deserved to know the truth. The real question is what you're going to do with it."
Peeta grinned, some real amusement behind it and he announced, "I'm going to change her mind, of course. I told her that I couldn't force her to love me, which is true; I can't. But that won't stop me from giving her every reason to fall on her own. So what do you say, Gale, want to help me out? I promise you won't regret it."
Gale eyed him for a full minute, clearly weighing the options. Then, like sunlight through a cloud, an answering grin broke out across his face. He stuck out a hand and Peeta grasped it. "It would be an honor," Gale answered. Peeta nodded and drew in a long breath. Now they just needed a plan. He had no idea what kind, but something would come to him. It usually did.
End Part 7.