A/N: Created 16 February 2016. It's RWBY Relationship Week again on Tumblr; the challenge is to take two randomly-selected characters and explore their relationship, whether that be romantic, platonic, parental, mentor-apprentice, sibling, antagonistic, or what-have-you.

Tuesday's Randomly-Generated Names: Roman Torchwick / Mercury Black (Torchury / Petasos)

Autolycus

Summary: Mercury drops by to ask why Roman's next theft is taking so long.

"You're behind schedule, old man," Mercury called as he strolled into the warehouse where Roman Torchwick was holed up, along with the several tonnes of Dust he had by now 'procured'. "Our plan is kind of nearing crunch time, so we're not exactly in the mood for your usual excuses."

Roman glanced up, evidently dismissing most of Mercury's threat. "Oh, Mommy just sent you as the messenger this time? Where's your sister?"

Of course, the endless joke of him and Emerald as Cinder's kids. Hilarious as always.

"Like I care," he answered. "And neither should you. What you should care about is what you know will happen if you keep falling behind schedule like this."

Roman rolled his eyes. "This job isn't quite as easy as blowing out the brains of drunk old men or cowardly Faunus runaways," he shot back. "Especially since I have to draw all the attention in the world, which means I have to stick around to be seen, and leave calling cards, which in turn calls for more elaborate planning. And every time I succeed—which I'll point out has been every time—it gets more difficult."

Mercury snorted. "You're just a thief. I hope you're not wasting too much time trying to think."

"This, coming from the snot-nosed patricidal psychopath?" Roman scoffed. "Forgive me if your thought processes don't exactly inspire confidence."

"Pfft. Whatever. You want me," Mercury said, falling back on how he interacted with the other thief in his life as he opened the door to leave.

Roman's cane moved into view over his shoulder, pushing the door shut before Mercury could leave. "And if I do?"

Mercury blinked at the closed door. "What?"

The end of the cane retracted, before the crook settled on his shoulder and pulled him around. Roman was less than an arm's-length away, and getting closer. "I'm a thief, dear boy, as you have so eloquently pointed out." He could feel Roman's breath on his face. "As a rule, when I see something I want, I take it."

Mercury leaned back against the door. "What about your little ice cream sundae?"

Roman's lips quirked, and Mercury found himself watching them much too closely. "She's busy today. But either way, we happen to agree that ice cream is just one of the things that's sweeter when you share. Now then," he placed his hands on either side of Mercury's head. "Have you got any more stupid questions or smart remarks?"

Mercury licked his lips, rather out of his element. Roman noticed. "I guess not," he smirked. And he closed the distance.

A/N: I've never cared for portmanteau ship names in our FNDM, so I'm wondering if I can replace 'Torchury' with, say, 'Petasos' (which is the god Mercury's broad-brimmed style of hat).

'Autolycus' is the name of a great mythological thief, who was either a worshipper of or the son of Hermes (the Greek equivalent of Mercury), who gained his skills from making sacrifices to the fleetness of his patron god. He was also supposedly the grandfather of both Odysseus and Jason (through different wives).

I'm sorry if this isn't very good. I feel like these two would really need a lot more time than I can give them in a short fic, to really snark back and forth and grind each other's gears. Maybe another time.