Sara was actually feeling pretty good about things, before she started up the ramp onto the Tempest.
They'd done a good job of clearing the kett off of Eos. She was sure some were still lurking around the planet, but it shouldn't be more than the colonists could handle. They were calling the colony Prodromos, and just the sight of it was enough to put a smile on Sara's face. Her team. They'd made this possible. They'd given people hope.
So she was smiling when she started up the ramp to the Tempest.
"We did well here, Pathfinder. Your father would be proud of you."
She was sure Cora had meant it kindly, meant it to be an affirmation. But it started her thinking; by the time she had given orders to make the jump to Nexus, checked in with her team, and hurried to her quarters, she was nearly in tears.
Yes, her father would have been proud of her. He would have been right there, cheering her on. She missed him.
More than that, she missed her mother.
Sara knew her mother would have been proud of this accomplishment as well. She also would have been worried. Her mother, much more focused on people and relationships than work, would have asked her if she was happy. Her mother would have wanted to know what her plan was for after she saved the galaxy. Sara managed a shaky grin as she put her armor away and changed into her shipboard clothes. Her mother would never have doubted that Sara could save them all; she would have been much more skeptical about Sara's ability to balance work and life.
I want you to live a full life… people do go on after losing someone they love... I just want you to be happy.
Sara knew she could easily lose herself in her work, let it define her and become her. She could feel the pull of it already, and it wasn't even a bad thing - it was good work, important work, and she was good at it. Her mother would have been disappointed, though; her mother would have worried about her, and she would have wanted grandchildren.
Sara dropped gracelessly onto her bed with a sigh. She had promised her mother that she wouldn't let her job define her life. She had promised her mother that she would keep an open mind, would consider other relationships despite the loss of her soulmate. So far, she hadn't kept those promises.
More than six hundred years later, perhaps it was time to change that.
As Sara left Pathfinder HQ, she took a deep breath. Dealing with Tann always made her tense, even when he was praising her. Before she had a chance to wonder what she should do next, her omnitool pinged with an incoming message.
Pathfinder! Civilization has come to Nexus - they opened a bar since our last visit! Join me? First round's on me!
~ L.K.
Sara had to smile, Liam's enthusiasm came through clearly and it was infectious. Without a second thought, she pulled up the station directory and headed off to discover the Vortex.
Liam waved her over as soon as she entered, and she enjoyed a drink while listening to him talk excitedly about the people he'd met while he waited for her. She had just about finished her drink and was considering making her excuses, when a familiar two-toned voice caught her attention.
She turned, eyes sweeping the room, and finally spotted Kandros at the far end of the bar. He was sitting alone, staring pensively into his drink. Evidently, she had heard him declining a refill, since she watched Anan wander away in exasperation. Smiling to herself, Sara waved a casual farewell to Liam, and headed over to Kandros' end of the bar.
He was so focused on whatever his own thoughts were, he didn't notice her approach. She leaned on the bar next to him, and pitched her voice so it wouldn't carry.
"What's a perfectly nice guy like you doing in a place like this?" When he glanced over at her, startled, she offered a friendly smile.
"Pathfinder. Congratulations on Prodromos. It's made a big difference to people around here." His gesture seemed to take in the Vortex, and the station as a whole. But he didn't answer her question.
Settling onto a seat, Sara studied him for a moment. Push it, or drop it? She drew a deep breath, and bumped her elbow against his.
"So this is you celebrating, is it? Sitting here by yourself, glaring at your drink. You offered to listen to me vent when I needed to… that goes both ways, you know."
When she finished, he was staring at her with the same intensity he'd given his drink. "It's nothing to do with the job, but thank you for the offer, Pathfinder."
Sara tried hard not to scowl. He was going to make this difficult, it seemed. Keep moving. Professional life, personal life, it all worked the same. Keep moving.
"Good news, since I'm off duty. So lay it on me. And, you know, you can call me Sara, or Ryder, if you'd prefer. Since we're off duty. Tiran." Her use of his first name drew a short chuckle, and he saluted her with his glass.
"Ryder, then. I didn't think you'd be interested… moping turians aren't anyone's idea of fun. Just remember, you asked." He took a drink from the glass, and let it clunk back onto the bar. "Do humans have soulmates?"
She couldn't have been more surprised if he'd punched her. It was the last thing she had expected from him, and the last thing she wanted to talk about. But she had asked, so she tried to keep her voice level when she answered him.
"Yes, we do. I thought everyone did."
"Yeah, I did too, just never got around to asking any humans. Did you ever try to find yours?"
Sara squirmed. "No. I… when I was a child, I had these dreams, never could understand them." Once started, the words came in a rush. She'd never told anyone before. "My mother told me later that some biotics have an empathic bond to their soulmate, and that's what those dreams were. Of course, she didn't mention this until I felt him die. So, no, I never looked for him. My parents, though, they were soulmates."
Kandros gave a low hum, more felt than heard over the noise of the bar. "Mine too. I looked. Spent a lot of time on it, actually. I thought it would… make everything make sense, you know? Finding her. Well, I never did, and then I joined the Initiative, and I figured that was it. Six hundred years, all the way across dark space… at least I could stop looking, maybe move on."
Sara nodded, her eyes steady on his profile. His eyes were still focused on the glass in his hand.
"What would you say if someone looked for his soulmate, gave up on finding her, went into cryostasis and expected that she would die centuries before he woke up again… only to find out she was on this blasted station with him? And then, to lose her to duty?" His voice had grown more bitter as he spoke, he nearly spit the last word out.
He looked over, meeting Sara's eyes for the first time since she'd sat beside him. His gaze searched her face, trying to determine her reaction. No doubt, he expected pity and would have rejected it.
"Oof. That's…. Well, that sucks, Kandros."
He nodded, and suddenly seemed to regret saying anything; he started to drop his gaze again, turning away from her, when she added, "Why? Do we know anyone like that?"
He turned to face her fully, shock written all over his face. Her small, twisted smile clued him in, and after a pause, he laughed.
"Nope, not a soul, Ryder." He lifted his glass towards her, and this time she clinked hers against it.
They sat together in a companionable silence. While he was still preoccupied with his own thoughts, they didn't seem to drag him down in the same way now. That was good. Sara's mind was occupied as well, her mother's advice ringing in her memory. Finally, she drew a deep breath, and turned towards him again.
"You know, my mother told me once that even if we lose our great love, it's possible to find love elsewhere. It may be different, but every relationship is different. Everyone has something to share, something to contribute. She died before we left the Milky Way, but she was very concerned that I was so focused on losing my soulmate that I would ignore other possible relationships. I never really thought I could find someone else I could care about, back then. I thought that if I couldn't have what my parents had, I didn't want anything.
"Now though, I'm not so sure. We're so far from home, from everything familiar. Would it be so bad to try to find something of what I've lost? It wouldn't be the same, but nothing is, here.
"I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I think she may have been right."
She fell silent, worried that she'd said too much. Her stomach fluttered; she fought the impulse to take a gulp of her drink, and the stronger impulse to simply run away.
Kandros was watching her, the green lights on his armor casting shadows across his face. His eyes flicked over her face, taking in the details, trying to read her thoughts. A new fear was presenting itself, perhaps she'd said too much, when he finally spoke.
"Mothers generally are." He smiled, somewhat hesitantly. "And, we both know the situation, so there wouldn't be any… strenuous expectations."
A grin was spreading across Sara's face, and the fluttering in her stomach was increasing; still, she felt the need to point out, "I can't promise my duty won't take me away from you."
Kandros shrugged. "Your duty taking you away I can handle. It's losing you to my duty that I couldn't stand, not again. You're sure about this?"
For an answer, Sara leaned in close to him, her voice lowering. "Absolutely certain. Besides, I've given the team a week of leave; be a shame to waste it, sitting around in my empty quarters on the empty Tempest." She smiled, and stood. "The question is, are you sure?"
She only made it three steps toward the door before his hand settled on her waist. Sara smiled up at him, and thrilled at the smoldering look he gave her in return.
Jaal was walking through the market on Aya, when he realized that he'd been feeling pretty good lately. Pleased, even cheerful, with an optimism for the future he hadn't felt since he was a child. He had a sense of confidence that he couldn't remember ever feeling before.
The emotions were so unusual that he was immediately suspicious.
Stepping out of the flow of marketplace traffic, he tried to pin down why he was feeling this way. It almost seemed as if the emotions were coming from outside himself. But that was impossible. The only emotions he could feel from the outside would be….
The jolt of adrenaline which accompanied the half-formed thought brought a surge of his bioelectrics that threw off sparks from his skin, drawing annoyed looks from those standing closest to him. He ignored the looks, and started towards Resistance HQ.
Though he tried to remain composed and unhurried, Jaal drew many surprised looks as he made his way to Evfra's office. Despite Evfra's aide protesting that the leader of the Resistance was incredibly busy, Jaal entered the office. He didn't wait for his friend and leader to acknowledge his presence, but began speaking immediately.
"Evfra. I must speak to Moshae Sjefa immediately." His agitation was apparent in his unusually quick speech. "I need leave from my duties here, I do not know how long. I do not know anything. I must speak with the moshae!"
Evfra looked up, the scowl at his interruption slowly changing. When Jaal fell silent, Evfra sighed heavily.
"You cannot. I have sent two squads, and both have failed."
Jaal heard the words, but he was so focused on what he had - may have - felt, he didn't understand them at first. Then horror, as he realized what Evfra was telling him. He stared at his friend, his mind already clicking through possibilities and questions. Evfra shook his head.
"The kett have her, Jaal. We cannot retrieve her."
A/N: Due to some unexpected life stuff, I probably won't be able to update tomorrow. SORRY! More on Monday.