This letter was written by the awesome Missiyoung! I got a kick out of it, and i think you guys will, too.
Professor McGonagall,
I told your birds no. I told your birds that I'm just watching the kid while John finishes up a job. Your birds didn't listen. I shot your birds. Then I let John's kids use the new wave as target practice. This has helped improve their aim and diminish their reaction to the sight of blood. Please send more birds, but forget about the letters; there's no way John is going to let his middle child leave the country for most of the year.
Sincerely,
Pastor Jim