Chapter 13: States of Mind

Notes: This chapter is going to be slightly different. It will be brief conversations between our pairs directly after the events in Part 12.

PAIR 1: GALE AND JOHANNA

The ride back home was quiet. There were so many conflicting emotions and thoughts in their minds that neither knew where to begin. Johanna sat looking out the window, idly watching the lights flicker as they passed. She felt his hand slide into hers, fingers twining together until she couldn't tell what was hers and what was his. Maybe that was the lesson.

"What are you thinking about?" Gale asked softly. "It's not like you to be quiet for so long."

"I don't even know. Everything's just jumbled together. That poor little girl," her voice broke. "How did we miss it? How did we miss it?"

"Johanna, I don't think," he trailed off, a sudden sheen of tears glazing his eyes. He blinked rapidly and tried to continue. "We can't think that way. It's tragic and senseless, but she's alive and safe now. They will get the bastard responsible. We've been able to give them some good leads."

"I never thought the time would come when I would hate my job," she broke the ensuing silence. "We see these kids and they are so broken. We put band aids on what we can. We write up our reports. Then we cut them loose and move on to the next batch. When did it become okay to assembly line these kids? We're like the fucking ER of the rehabilitation system. We treat them and street them. I just wish…"

Gale shook his head, "Jo, you can't think like that. We do make a difference. We don't reinvent the wheel, but we do what we can. There's more good than bad to this job. You just can't see it right now." She shook her head disparagingly and he bit out, "What do you want, Johanna? What would make you happy?"

She wheeled on him, brown eyes imploring him to understand. "I just want to know at the end of the day that I helped one, just one. That something I did actually mattered. I could stand all the bad stuff if I know somehow, in some way, that I made a difference. Is that really too much to ask for, Gale? "

He raised their joined hands to his lips and softly kissed her fingers, "You help me every day. You make me so happy, Jo. More than I've ever been before. Don't you know that? You helped Katniss. She told me what you said the other night at her apartment. You got through to her. Don't ever think that you don't make a difference, because you do without even trying."

Johanna sent him a smile, her heart a little lighter. Who needed a star to grant wishes? She didn't. Not anymore.

PAIR 2: ANNIE AND FINNICK

Annie sat at her desk, writing a summary of all that had happened while it was fresh in her mind. She omitted any part of the girl's injuries from the official reports. Those notes were kept in a separate book and shared only with Detective Boggs and the other Better Way counselors involved. She heard a throat clear and looked up to meet the sea green eyes of Finnick Odair. "Did you need something, Finnick?"

He shifted nervously, hesitant to voice to his reasons for seeking her out. "I was just wondering how they were doing; the two girls, I mean," he answered quietly. "I know that they called you to examine them both. I just wanted to check before heading home."

Annie laid down her pen and sighed quietly. She really didn't feel like discussing this case; it was too raw and too new to delve deeply into her sense of horror and inadequacy. The girls had been mistreated both emotionally and physically, yet the staff had been completely unaware. She couldn't help but ask herself how many other times something similar had happened and they hadn't seen it. It was easy to add up columns in a row and convince yourself that you were doing some good. It's another thing to look at the proof lying in front of you in a puddle of blood and face the fact that everything you believe is not necessarily the reality that you live in.

"Primrose is fine, physically. I think she is getting a lot of support from Peeta and Katniss. Those two seem unusually close. She's worried and stressed. I think she'll be okay. We will just have to watch her closely. Ruth Ann, or Rue, is stable. I would still prefer to move her to a secure ward at the hospital, but I've been overruled. There is too great a possibility that she will be found and hurt again. She is the only link to the Gamesmakers. They hope she can give them enough to crack the gang wide open. I've put a limit on how much she can be questioned and her lawyer has requested to be present at all interrogations. She can't take much stress. It will be a difficult recovery for her."

Finnick stayed quiet throughout her dissertation. He sat down in one of the chairs fronting her desk and remained silent for a longer period than usual. Annie watched him carefully and noted the sighs of unease in his posture and the way he compulsively knotted and loosened a thin cord he had removed from his pocket. Catching her gaze, he grinned and commented, "One of my foster parents taught me this. I think I was about eight. He used to take me fishing on the weekends. We would spend all day on the lake, just floating and passing the time." He smiled at the memory, eyes pensive and sad. "I was only there for about 3 months. Then they sent me to another family. I was never told why, just that I had to move. I remembered the knots, though. I've kept it up ever since."

Annie patted his hand sympathetically and he cracked a small smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to go all heavy on you." He flushed. "I'm just having a really hard time with this. It reminds me of stuff I'd rather not have to think about."

She was reminded of the few snippets she had heard over the years regarding his background. She knew he was a foster kid and had been since age three. She knew that at 15, Haymitch had become his case worker and helped him get back on track. There were rumors about the activities of his former case worker but nothing was ever confirmed. She had always refused to listen to the rumors concerning him. Contrary to her outburst the other day, Annie had always been slightly fascinated with Finnick. He seemed to be two totally different people depending on what he was doing at the time. He could be funny, charming, and entertaining but also snappish, crude, and sarcastic to a fault. Which one was the true Finnick Odair? Despite herself, Annie Cresta was very interested in the answer to that question.

"It's no problem, Finnick. I like talking to you like this. It's almost tolerable." She grinned slightly to take the sting out of that remark. "Do you want to talk about it? I'd be happy to listen if you would."

Finnick looked up in surprise. He didn't expect a sympathetic response, more like an indifferent shrug and inane comment. She really wasn't what he thought she was. First the lovely temper tantrum from the other night, and now this kind, caring persona today. Who was the real Annie Cresta? He was very interested in finding that out.

"Maybe another time, okay?" he asked, a tiny seed of hope noticeable in his voice. She smiled and nodded. He rose and headed toward the exit, looking back over his shoulder as he walked. She was looking at him with the most perplexed expression that he had ever seen. Finnick felt his heart lighten a little at the prospect of talking to her again. Gale had been right – the office furniture and calendar had made a big first impression. Finnick would never admit to that, though. Gale was hard enough to deal with, even with an extra added incentive.

PAIR 3: PRIM AND RUE

Rue woke up in an unfamiliar room and looked at a familiar face. Her tense shoulders immediately relaxed when she saw Prim smiling at her from the nearby chair. She let her eyes dart around, realizing that they were no longer in the dorms. She raised a questioning eyebrow at Prim and flicked her hand to indicate the whole room.

"You want to know where you are," Prim guessed. "We're at Katniss' apartment and you are in her spare bedroom. Annie says that you will be okay, but it will take a while. I'm just glad that you're finally awake. I was scared."

Rue's eye flew up to Prim's face, her apprehension clearly etched on her face. Prim, correctly guessing the reason for her sudden panic, quickly reassured her, "You're safe now. Peeta and Ms. Cartwright fixed it with the judge. You don't have to go back to the dorms. They have set up a safe house for you and around the clock protection. They can't hurt you again, Rue."

A watery smile greeted this announcement and Rue reached out to grasp Prim's hand. Prim squeezed it back, thrilled that she was able to give her friend such good news. A new thought struck her. She extricated her hand and quickly made her way to a small bag lying beside the bed. "Here. I almost forgot to give this to you. Finnick brought it over." She reached into the confines of the bag and pulled out a battered teddy bear. It certainly looked the worse for wear, but Rue grasped it like a lifeline. She hugged the tattered fur to her and let tears leak from the corners of her closed eyes. "Rue, are you okay? " Prim asked anxiously.

Rue cleared her throat. It was always difficult to speak after being asleep for so long. It left one tongue-tied and blurry. She swallowed a couple of times and took a couple sips of water from a plastic jug by the bed. "Thank you, Prim. For everything," she muttered out.

Prim's answering smile was nova bright in its intensity. "Of course. We're friends after all."

She left moments later with the admonishment for Rue to get some rest. Rue snuggled back into the blankets, her bear tucked securely in her arms. Her last thought before slipping back down was how nice it was to have a friend. Prim was the first real friend she had ever had. It felt good. It felt safe. It felt like home.

PAIR 4: KATNISS AND PEETA

She made sure that both girls were sleeping soundly before adjourning to the living room. Peeta sat propped up on her couch with a multitude of papers spread out about him. When he heard her come back in, he cleared the piles away and motioned for her to join him. "They all settled for the night?" he asked as he swept the papers in no particular order back into his bag.

"Yep, they are sleeping like angels," she retorted jokingly. "They should be down for the rest of the night." She laughed suddenly. "It sounds like we're talking about toddlers, not fifteen year olds."

Stretching his arms up over his head and twisting to work the soreness out of his back muscles, Peeta replied, "Same thing when you get right down to it. The only difference is potty training and toddlers have better manners."

Katniss chuckled and claimed the cushion next to him, curling her legs up underneath her. He stretched out full length on the couch, his head resting squarely in her lap. She made no effort to move him, so Peeta toed off his shoes and got comfortable.

Katniss amused herself by playing with his hair, fingers twisted in the ashy blond strands. He closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle touches as she brushed his hair back off of his forehead. He was just about to drop off when he heard her softly comment, "You did great today with Judge Paylor. I don't know how you convinced her to sign off on this little scheme of yours. She's not known for bending the rules or creative solutions to a problem. I don't know how you managed it, but I'm glad."

"I can be very persuasive when I set my mind to it," he retorted lazily, eyes still closed. "You know that."

She grinned at his cocky remark but stayed silent, continuing to play with his errant curls. She enjoyed just looking at him. His relaxed face was a study of angles. He had prominent cheekbones and a pronounced jawline. His eyebrows and lashes were pale gold, almost invisible unless you stared at them. Right now, she was staring and making no attempt to hide it. Of their own volition, her fingers traced over his face, her eyes following as if to memorize every feature. He lay quietly, breathing regular, allowing her to explore at her leisure.

"As much as I'm enjoying this," he stated, somewhat amusedly, "I really need to sleep. Are you joining me?"

She laughed silently. "Tempting. But I don't want to wake up with another audience tomorrow morning. I prefer to keep the shades drawn, if you know what I mean."

"I threatened Prim if she opened the door while we are asleep again that she'll lose all archery privileges." He smirked at her disbelieving expression. "Since Rue isn't exactly up and running around and Prim knows that I keep my promises, I think we're pretty safe." She bit her lip, clearly considering and then nodded shyly. "Come here then," he told her as he lifted his head and scooted closer to the back of the couch. He opened his arms and she slid into them gratefully. His warmth soothed her and made her feel safe. She turned on her side, putting her back against his chest. They shifted until perfectly aligned from shoulder to toe. She cuddled back against him with a contented sigh.

He curled an arm around her waist and asked quietly, "You like sleeping here with me. Real or not real?"

"Real," she answered sleepily. "You know what I like better, though."

He hesitated briefly and then asked, "What?"

He could feel her grin and almost laughed when she said, "Breakfast. Think you can do some cheese rolls tomorrow? "

Feeling content for the first time in ages, Peeta curled a little closer to this strange, perplexing girl that he suspected he was beginning to fall for. "Of course. Good night, Katniss. "

"Good night, Peeta," she sleepily replied, letting her hand intertwine with his, fingers carelessly linked. Feeling safe for the first time in two days, she closed her eyes and slipped into sleep, her head resting firmly on his heart.

End Part 13