CH. 2

Sonny was startled to hear a knock on his office door at such a late hour. He glanced at his watch, which read 9:10. "Come in," he said. More startling than the knock was who was on the other side of the door. "Dante. Hey, look, I told your other officer buddy that the only thing comin' into the warehouse today was a shipment of Arabica. I thought he was satisfied, but if he sent you…" Dante raised a hand. "I don't even know what you're talking about—no one sent me here. I need to talk to you, Sonny, if you've got a minute." "Yeah, of course. Come in. Have a seat. What's on your mind?" Dante came into the office but he bypassed the offered chair. "I can't sit. I can't sit. I'm goin' out of my mind here, so I can't sit down. I've been tryin' to hold it in all day." "Ok, ok, don't sit. Just tell me what's wrong? What's happened?" "Sonny-" Dante grabbed two handfuls of his hair, "I don't even know where to start. This is so messed up. I'm messed up. Dammit." "Ok, look. I'm gonna get you some water, you're gonna drink it, calm down, and talk to me." Sonny got up and got a bottle of water from a little refrigerator in the corner of his office. He handed it to Dante as he ordered, "Drink." Dante took two long gulps of the offered water gratefully. "Thanks," he told Sonny. Sonny asked him, "Are you calm enough to tell me what's goin' on now?" Dante sat down in the chair opposite Sonny's desk and said, "Yeah, I think so. That day I had Rocco stay with you, you remember? I said I was gonna go to Canada to confront my wife and her lover, right?" "Yeah, right, which you did. And you thought, based on what you saw up there, that Lulu and Dillon were sleeping together." "Yeah, Sonny, that's what I thought. That's what I thought, but I was wrong. Dead wrong." "That's good, right? You thought they were havin' an affair but they weren't. End of story. Well, you kissed Valerie, but other than that, end of story, right?"

Dante launched up out of the chair and began to pace again. "Not end of story. Not by a long shot. We did more than kiss. I did more than kiss her, Sonny. Damn." Sonny gave Dante a sideways glance. "You told me before you didn't, that she stopped it." "She did. She did, then. Oh, God. It was later. I started drinkin' after I got back from Canada. No excuse. Valerie came over to check on me because I had my phone off so I missed her calls. I told her what I saw, or thought I saw. Clothes all over the place, unmade bed, breakfast room service—the whole deal. She was upset for me, kept comin' up with reasons why what I saw wasn't what I thought I saw. But I was convinced I was right, so I convinced her I was right. And I was pissed off. And she was consoling me. And I just grabbed her, kissed her. She said we shouldn't do it, but I told her I didn't care. In that moment, I didn't. Lulu started blowin' up our lives; all I was doin' was finishing the job. So I took her, or we took each other. We just went at it, Sonny. In the bed that I sleep in with my wife. Dammit!" Dante threw the bottled water against the wall in anger.

Sonny was at a loss for words but Dante came to him for a reason, and he intended to honor that. He reached for the right thing to say. Finally he responded, "Ok, son, you messed up. Pretty bad. The question now is what do you want to do? How do you plan to fix it?" "Oh, man, if I knew the answer to that, do you think I would be here? Sorry, sorry. I know you're tryin' to help. I don't know what to do, Dad. I don't know what to do! Tell me what to do! What would you do?"

Sonny realized the extent of Dante's agitation after hearing Dante unknowingly call him "Dad". He caught himself just in time before calling Dante's attention to it. "First of all, this stuff never stays hidden. No matter how much you want it to, it has a way of comin' out. You slip up, or Valerie does-" "Valerie isn't going to say anything. She agreed not to, and I trust her word." "You trust her word. Huh. You feel somethin' for this girl?"

"Yeah. No. I don't know!"

"Dante. You do know. Be honest with yourself here. You feel somethin' for this girl, or not?"

"There's something there. A connection we share. I'm attracted to her. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Lulu warned me that we seemed to be getting too close, and I brushed her off. What a joke."

"You wanna save your marriage?"

"Rocco deserves an unbroken home, and I really don't want to hurt her any more than I already have…"

"That ain't what I asked you. You want to save your marriage to Lulu?"

Dante sat back down in the chair as his eyes filled with tears. "I can't touch her, Sonny. I've tried. The guilt is overwhelming at times and I feel like I'm gonna choke on it. But then I remember how she lied to me, didn't trust me over Dillon, and I get angry all over again! And then the guilt goes away… I don't know what to do."

"She's gotta know the truth. She deserves that much. You've gotta live with whatever she wants to do after she knows. I also think whatever you're feeling for Valerie is cloudin' your judgement. Get your head on straight. If Lulu wants you two to be apart, you live apart for a while. If she wants to go to counseling, you go to counseling. If you want to save your marriage, that is. She's gonna be pissed as hell at you for a while, and you've gotta let her have those feelings. Tell her the truth, and then take your cues from her how to fix it. That's my advice, for what it's worth."

"Thanks, Sonny. I mean that. It's worth a lot."

"Good. And don't worry, I won't tell Carly what you told me this time. You feelin' better?"

"A little bit, yeah."

Sonny rose and walked around his desk to a cabinet across the room from which he retrieved a roll of paper towels. He threw them at Dante. "Then you won't mind cleanin' up your mess. Throwin' stuff at my walls," he muttered.

Dante ruefully chuckled as he bent to wipe up the spilled water. "Cleaning up messes I've made. The new story of my life."

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Valerie dressed with care for work the next morning. She skillfully applied her make-up to try to disguise the effects of a sleepless night. She chose her red A-line skirt and a crisp white blouse—her "power gear"—to bolster her confidence. Her Jeffrey Campbell red suede pumps rounded out her ensemble. She made her way down to the dining room where Nikolas and Spencer were already seated. Spencer jumped from his chair as she entered and he pulled her chair out for her with a cheeky smile. "Whoo, such manners! I wonder who taught you to do this?" Valerie returned his smile with a grateful one of her own. "My father said I should always pull out the chair for a lady. It's the polite thing to do." "Well, some day, one lucky lady is going to appreciate you following your father's instructions. I guess this morning, that lucky lady is me. Thank you, kind sir." Alfred entered the dining room pushing a rolling tray. He served Nikolas and then Spencer as he remarked, "Miss Valerie, good morning. If you don't mind me saying, you look especially charming this morning. What would you like to be served for breakfast?" "I'm surrounded by gallant men this morning! First Spencer, and now you, Alfred. Thank you. I'm not as hungry as I thought I'd be, so I'll make do with orange juice and toast, please." Nikolas looked at Valerie with a keener eye. "Alfred is quite correct. You also look very—professional. You put your hair up. Is something special taking place today?" "I needed the extra boost today. At times I find myself in need a lift." "Ah, yes. I sometimes forget that you are still in mourning for your mother. Your 'boost' appears to be working. Will you be taking the launch with us or do you plan to go a bit later?" Alfred returned to the dining room. He sat the toast and juice in front of Valerie. He asked her, "Are you sure this is all you require?" "This is perfect, Alfred. Thank you." He inclined his head and then disappeared once again. Valerie took a swallow of the juice and then began buttering her toast. "When do you intend to leave for the mainland?" she asked. "In about an hour or so," Nikolas answered. "I'll go with you—I'll be ready."

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Valerie was in the Cold Case file room at the PCPD woolgathering and she jumped with a start and turned when she heard her name softly uttered. "Dante, hi. Hey, good morning. I didn't hear you come in. How are you? Never mind, I can see you're fine. I should probably get back to-" "I wasn't trying to interrupt you. What are you doing?" "Detective Johnson asked me to refile these cold case files. I guess I got caught daydreaming. I'll just get out of your way…" She moved to leave the room when he reached out to stop her. "Wait a minute. What's going on? It feels like you're trying to avoid me. I thought we'd agreed to be friends." "We did. We are. I was only going back to work." Valerie once again tried to step around Dante, and once again, he stopped her. "That's not what it feels like. It feels like you're avoiding me. I don't want things to be awkward between us. That's the last thing I want. I value you, your friendship. I told you, I don't want to lose that." "You won't. We are friends. It's hard to be around you though, sometimes. You don't feel the same way I do—I get that. You're going to try to work things out with your wife, my cousin. I'm finding a way to deal with that. But that means that sometimes I've got to step back, away from you. It's not out of malice, though. More like self-preservation." Dante reached out to stroke her arm unconsciously. "I hate that you're feeling this way. I don't like it at all. The idea of you hurting-" "Dante, please, don't say anything else. Just let me get back to work, ok?" He shifted to the side to allow her to pass. "By the way," he said, "you look boss in that red." She scowled at him. "And by 'not saying anything else,' I mean not saying things like that." "You're right, totally. That wasn't appropriate. I'm sorry." She shook her head as she opened the door to exit. He sighed aloud. "Dante," he wondered inwardly, "what are you trying to do?"

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