This is a strange chapter but it's relevant.
Sometimes Dan wondered if Phil was ever going to get over his dad's death. Sure, it had only been a month yet to Dan it seemed so much longer. Part of him was screaming at himself telling him not to be so inconsiderate. Up until 2 weeks ago, Phil hadn't spoken to him since they had took his dad's body away. The funeral was in a few weeks but so was Valentine's day. Dan would do anything to make sure Phil didn't feel alone on that day.
Phil wondered if Dan was getting upset over the fact that he was upset. It was coming up to Valentine's day and it had been a month since Phil's dad's death. It had just passed his birthday and Dan had done his best to make sure Phil felt happy but it seemed impossible. His day had been better than the others and he was grateful but he had still felt upset. It seemed like the shadow of the fact that he was once happier was following him around.
The two were feeling the same but in different ways: Dan was sad because Phil was ignoring him yet Phil was upset because he felt that Dan was angered with him. It wasn't Phil's fault that he was so upset. It wasn't anyone's fault yet Dan felt like it was his. He felt like he had failed Phil. As a boyfriend, Dan felt that it was his duty to keep Phil happy and feeling loved yet he felt like he wasn't doing that properly. On the other hand, Phil was eternally grateful for the support he was getting off Dan. Phil was just scared that the support seemed almost half hearted. He contemplated what his life would be like if his father was still here. Would they be a perfect family?
It was the worst possible way for someone to feel. Knowing that someone died because they though that you didn't want them. He loved his dad a lot even after everything that had happened. Phil forgave people very easily, his dad was no exception. It may be hard for him to forgive his bullies yet if they apologized he wouldn't have a choice. His head would be screaming at him to say no, to tell them that it's not okay but his heart wouldn't let him.
Dan found it harder to forgive people. Only certain people would be able to find their way into his heart. Phil was one of those people. He just strode in and took over the whole thing. Love can be the best thing in the world but it can be dangerous. For example, Dan would do anything for Phil, anything. 'Anything' could be something dangerous. If someone hurt Phil, Dan would give them double the pain that they caused Phil. His heart wouldn't be content until he did.
For now, the two boys were silent in each others presence but not an awkward silence more like a comforting one. Even so, Dan was preparing a Valentine's day for Phil that was better than the one he was given last year. he would do anything to put a smile on his blue eyes boy's face.