Love After War

by TheAlderTrees

Carol lives a lonely life with her daughter Sophia and is in a loveless abusive marriage with her 'high school sweetheart' Ed and doesn't know how to escape. On the night of one of the worst storms in 5 years her life changes after she meets Daryl Dixon, and begins a developing love affair with him. But their affair quickly becomes dangerous when suspicions are raised. Caryl AU

9. Chapter 9

(Warning contains violence, reference to sexual abuse, illness and depression)

Carol sat on the edge of Daryl's bed. She stared at the pale moonlight as it shined through his cheap blinds, she could feel her tear drops rolling down her cheeks slowly and splashing lightly on her thighs. She couldn't believe any of it.

He couldn't have been dying. It had to be some kind of a joke.

She quickly covered her mouth to stop herself from crying out, while her other hand gripped onto her hair tightly as if she was trying to grab onto reality. They'd fought so hard to get back together again and now that they'd had…it was all for nothing. She couldn't bear to have him slip through her fingers so easily again. She had to grip onto him with all that she had and never let him go again, not until his final breath. She turned her head to look at him and moved her hand to link with his softly and to her surprise, she felt him rub his thumb over her slightly damp fingers.

"It'll be okay, ya don't need to cry no more" he muttered sleepily. Carol ignored his words and quickly moved to press her lips against his roughly, she slipped her fingers through his hair and got on top of his body with few hesitation. He pulled away from the kiss blinking with surprise, "what are ya doin' Carol?" he asked "It's so fuckin' late"

Carol smiled brokenly and shook her head, "Don't. I'll make it right" She pressed her lips over his neck softly and kissed it.

"You don't have to do this Carol" he said stroking his fingers through her hair.

"I do, Daryl. Just let me do this for a few minutes please" she pleaded and Daryl nodded letting her continue down his body and kiss his chest. He breathed deeply,

"A few minutes to do what?" he asked

"To be with you Daryl, I just need to be with you" She hissed silkily. Daryl slowly moved his hands beneath her chin and lifted her head softly, he nodded mouthing the words okay and kissed her softly, even though they both could sense the tension in the kiss. She knew that he knew something wasn't right too, but she couldn't think about that. She needed to forget for a few minutes and just let herself have some control, for once in her damn life.

Daryl rolled over delicately pulling down his boxer shorts before leaning over her.

"I'll take care of ya" he muttered grazing her hair with his fingers.

"Please" she whispered quietly and he began thrusting, causing Carol to cling to his body desperately. It wasn't until the fourth thrust that Carol began crying all over again. She tried urgently to hide the tears away with the back of her hand but Daryl quickly caught on and stopped. His hands ran over her face and he leaned backwards slowly bringing her face with him.

"Am I hurtin' ya?" he asked softly.

"No" she choked out.

He wiped away the remaining tears with his thumb, "Why are ya cryin' then?" he asked roughly.

"I'm fine" she lied.

Daryl pulled out and rolled away from her, sitting upright in the bed,

"Talk to me" he breathed, "Why are ya makin' me do this?" he asked edging closer to her.

Carol sighed, "I just want to feel…something-"she paused and shook her head again, "I'm going for a walk"

"Carol, don't do that" he sighed rubbing his face sleepily. She could tell he was losing his fight against sleep. Carol forced another smile, she rolled out of bed and grabbed his hoodie which was sitting on top of one of the boxes, before leaning over and kissing him as she slipped her pants and boots back on.

"I won't stay out long"

Daryl scoffed frustrated, "It's late. It aint safe for ya to be out there on ya own" he snapped frantically.

Carol stood up straight and smiled at him again, "I've been through a lot of crap with you gone. A few thugs aren't gonna scare me away so easily" Daryl rubbed his face seemingly giving in.

"Jus' be back in half an hour and stay safe for fucks sake" he scowled. Carol beamed at him,

"I love it when you get all concerned" she flirted before tip toeing out of the bedroom and into the living room. She noticed a beer bottle sitting on the counter having not being devoured by Daryl and she slipped it into the hoodie along with his keys fearlessly before walking out of the room silently. As soon as the door shut behind her, she felt herself breaking down again and suddenly felt the urge to run. Her chest felt as tight as coil while the air in her lungs felt like they were being held prisoner inside of her.

She needed to move

She felt her legs speed down the stairs faster than they'd ever moved, even when Ed would chase her down the stairs to hurt her. She slammed into the front door forcing it open and she ran and she ran until she could no longer see Daryl's apartment building or his truck anymore. The wind was now stroking its fingers through her hair as she ran while her feet burned from the amount of times they had slammed across the hard ground. She hazed past many cars and many trees until she finally bumped into a bench by the side of the

Carol was losing control over everything again. She suddenly felt like everything around her was collapsing and slowly turning to dust and beneath all of that dust she was suffocating. None of this was supposed to happen, she was meant to find him and marry him and spend the rest of her days waking up to him and knowing how lucky she was to finally find him again.

Carol snatched the bottle of beer out from inside her hoodie and gulped it all down with few hesitation. As soon as it was empty Carol threw the bottle into the street in anger, letting it shatter into millions of small pieces. Those were the damn things that were killing him and were the damn things that caused Ed to almost beat her to death over many years of marriage. She hated herself for drinking it. Carol moved to sit with her knees against her chest and sighed.

Carol suddenly felt a thud next to her as someone sat next to her.

"I guess you never found him" Merle sluggishly said

Of course it was him Carol thought tiredly to herself it was always him

"Oh I found him and I know about the way you treated him, you son of a bitch" she growled

"You're gettin' brave mouse" he snapped.

Carol rolled her eyes, "Just leave me the hell alone" she sighed.

Merle threw his hands up in defence, "What's the matter with you? Been drinkin' or what?"

"I've had one beer" Carol sighed causing Merle to laugh loudly,

"Can't handle ya booze?" he asked. Carol shrugged turning her head away from him "So, why are ya here and not with my brother?"

Carol folded her arms, "What are you doing out here?"

Merle belched, "Jus' got back from Martinez's place…been drinkin' all night" he paused "So, why are ya here and not with my brother?" he asked repeating his question this time much more sternly.

Carol sighed leaning back on the bench, "I just don't want to be around him right now…it's just too much I need air" she said shutting her eyes.

"Too much? What's too much?" he asked

Carol's eyes flashed open as she realised she had said too much to him already, "It's just overwhelming since I haven't seen him for about three years now"

Merle shook his head laughing quietly, "Don't fuckin' lie to me, you wouldn't be out here getting drunk if it was nothin'" he barked. His hand suddenly moved to her wrist as he grabbed it, tightening his grip slowly "Now you're gonna fuckin-"Merle's sentence was suddenly cut short by Carol punching him straight in his hard face. Her hand burned but she didn't care, she would've done anything to get him to let her go.

"You bitch" Merle laughed which only angered Carol more. His hand cupped his bloody nose for one moment and the next thing she knew he was letting it dribble down his shirt as he continued to laugh. Carol raised a single eyebrow and bit her lip, he had definitely had been drinking. He was never in this good of a mood, especially after someone had "disrespected" him, the way she had.

She remembered a long time ago when she had been carrying a cold beer for him during one of the super bowls, while Ed was in the bathroom and she had accidentally spilled it all over his not so clean shirt. He had yelled at her abusively and grabbed her by the wrist and hadn't even bothered to hide it when Ed came out of the bathroom, in fact when Ed decided to punish her by dragging her into the bathroom and hurting her, he had smiled when he watched her drag herself out of the bathroom, tears and blood streaming.

"Maybe you'll be a lil more careful next time"

Merle still continued to laugh in front of her, "What's so funny?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"You definitely aint the same woman you were three years ago"

Carol sighed, "I know" she sat down slowly and signalled Merle to sit down with her "You have to be calm when I tell you this Merle"

Merle shrugged, "What happened?"

She looked up at him weakly, "He's dying, Merle"

Merle's smile disappeared, "You're fuckin' lying"

Carol let her eyes flutter shut slowly, "I'm sorry, but it's true" Merle suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders causing her eyes to open quickly.

"Stop fuckin' lying to me!" he yelled, the veins were already standing out in his neck.

"Let go of me" she said pushing him off.

He stood up hastily and pinched his lips for a moment. "What's wrong with him?"

"It's his liver, he's been drinking for so long his liver is dying slowly…I don't know how long-" her voice cracked sending her hands to her face again.

"How-Why-"Merle stuttered and Carol felt her insides explode with anger. She launched herself up from the bench and leaned into him tearfully with one finger pointing sharply at him.

"Because of you! It all started with you Merle! You almost got me killed so he sent me away! You drove him out to live on the streets and he lost more than you can imagine! He lost your dad and you made it worse until he couldn't handle being sober anymore. It's all on you!" She screamed tears streaming and then,

He returned the blow.

The punch sent Carol off of her feet with blood trickling down her mouth. At first she was shocked but she made sure that it didn't show on her face. Carol smiled back up at Merle despite her face being in serious pain. Merle turned back to her, but this time with tears falling down his cheeks.

"You shut the fuck up!" he said aggressively through gritted teeth.

Carol spat out a small blob of blood, "Hit me all you want you know it's true. And I don't feel any sympathy for you Merle, because you brought it on yourself" Her face was beginning to throb.

Merle stuck one dirty finger in her face, "He drank because of you too. Your hands aint clean"

"I know that" Carol said wiping her bloody lip "He drank because I was sent away because of you" She stood up to look Merle directly in the eyes "and you know what Merle, the difference is one of us actually treated him like a person" she hissed muskily before wiping off another blob of blood "I'll see you around" she said turning away.

Merle desperately grabbed her by the shoulders, "You're gonna tell me where he is!"

Carol was about to push Merle away until she saw the desperation in his eyes and sighed,

"I'm not telling you where he is"

"Fuckin' bitch" Merle muttered angrily

Carol put a hand out, "But I'll try to get him to talk to you. After that it's out of my hands"

Merle nodded letting his tight grip on her shoulders soften, "Okay, but you better fucking hope he shows up or I'm gonna make it hell for you" he snapped

"Well, it's his choice and whether or not he shows up is on him. You had your chances and you blew it Merle and after we're done, we're gonna be gone and you're never gonna see him again and it's all gonna be your fault" Carol hated being so cruel but she just couldn't take his shit anymore, Daryl had been bullied enough in his life and so had Carol, Merle needed someone to put him in his place.

Merle raised his hand again but this time Carol was quick, before he could strike her Carol kicked him hard and sent him to the ground where he covered his crotch in pain. Carol stood over him shaking her head,

"If we see you it'll be at the drunken deer tomorrow at noon. Clean yourself up and show some Goddamn respect when you see him" she snapped before leaning in close to his face "And if you mess it up and try to hurt him I swear I will slit your throat" she whispered darkly.

"Bitch" he spat out painfully

"Have a lovely evening" she said before taking off quickly through the darkness again. She didn't need Merle following her back to Daryl's apartment, he'd never forgive her for doing that. She wouldn't forgive herself either. Carol rubbed her lip as she ran through the woods and winced at the swollenness of the right side of her cheek and her bloody lip. She didn't know how she'd explain this to Daryl without him getting in a rage and that's not what she needed right now, all she needed was for him to relax and to be well. To survive a little longer without any more pain or anger, so much had already happened and it was only a couple of hours until sunrise.

Carol had never expected him to hit her, sure he had threatened her a few times but it was a surprise to finally see him deliver the blow. Carol winced again she was right. Merle and Ed were very similar people, which is why they got along so well. Both wife beaters, Cheaters and misogynists until the very end.

Having his fist swinging against her face gave her a small sense of déjà vu of the first few years of the marriage, she could still remember the first time Ed had hit her. They had been arguing over bills, which Carol knew most normal couples did what she didn't recognise was the husband screaming at his wife to shut her dirty mouth and suddenly having her flying onto the floor with a bloody nose. Carol had begun crying and questioning what he had just done, which was her next mistake, the next thing she knew she was having her hair grabbed and was being hurt in places where she couldn't be questioned.

At first Carol was very keen on leaving the next night but Ed was suddenly so sweet and so apologetic, she believed it was all a mistake and decided to stay.

She shook her head.

She still wished that she had left that same night and hadn't fallen for his lies. After Sophia was born, he never bothered to hide his meanness again. He was only sweet to Sophia at times which made Carol uncomfortable, she never wanted to leave her alone with him again.

Carol stopped in her tracks, turning to make sure Merle wasn't following her. She waited for a moment listening out for footsteps and then made her way back onto the road, she could see the apartment right ahead of her. The thing that Carol couldn't understand was why Merle thought Daryl would forgive him so easily, from the things Daryl had told her he'd been shitty the whole time.

He'd teased Daryl for years for not being "man enough" which involved not sleeping around and not beating on women. He'd teased him for being a virgin until he was 18, until he had paid one of his friends at the strip club to sleep with him and had also abandoned him and pretended he didn't know their dad was hurting him. When he finally was forcefully shown Daryl's scars, Merle simply told him to get over it or to just kill himself. There aint no way out.

Carol shook her head, Daryl went through a lot of stuff he didn't deserve to experience.

Carol finally reached the apartment building and scrambled for Daryl's keys, she still wasn't completely convinced that Merle wasn't following her. As soon as she got the door open, she sprinted up the stairs and didn't stop to breathe until she collapsed against Daryl's door. Which a few seconds later pulled open and sent her flopping on the ground. Daryl's strong hands helped her up slowly until she was upright, she could see his hands were shaking and at first she didn't know why until she realised he could see the damage done to her face too. He began to breathe deeply, one hand moved to cup her right cheek gently causing Carol to wince and him to remove it. He pulled her inside quietly and as soon as the door shut he turned to her furiously.

"Who the fuck did that?" he snapped

"It doesn't matter, you need to go to bed"

Daryl hit his fist against the wall in anger, "I'm gonna kill those motherfuckers"

Carol rubbed her hand over his shoulder, "That's why I want you to go back to bed"

Daryl was silent for a few seconds before he suddenly took her by the hand gently and led her through the darkened apartment straight to the bathroom. The light hissed as it turned on causing Carol to gasp at the sight of her bright red bruise on her right cheek and split lip. He sat her down on the edge of the bath, his hand grabbed a cloth and ran it under warm water before dapping at Carol's lip and cheek.

"Thought we were done with this" he sighed

"I'm sorry"

"It aint ya fault. It's the fucker who did this' fault" he raised an eyebrow "You gonna tell me who did it?"

Carol sighed, "If I tell you, you have to promise to do me one favour"

Daryl shrugged, "Depends on the favour" he said cleaning her lips.

"I bumped into Merle on my walk, we fought and he punched me" The pressure Daryl was putting on her lip suddenly increased so Carol gently stroked his arm in an attempt to soothe him.

"I'm gonna kill that motherfucker" he spat

"I don't want you fighting!" Carol snapped

Daryl removed the cloth, "What's the favour?"

"He wants to see you later, at The Drunken Deer"

Daryl scoffed, "He can fuckin' forget it after all the shit he's done"

Carol took his face in her hands softly, "I hate him more than anything, but I think you should tell him how you feel and let that be it. I'm not saying do this for his reasons, do it for yours. Go to the damn bar and scream if you have to. You don't have to be kind" She paused "Before I came to see you I went to go see Ed in prison. It was pretty satisfying to finally tell him how I feel" she said with a smile.

Daryl kept a stern face, which quickly turned into a smile too which suddenly caused Carol to start crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't lose you. I know you could live for longer than you expected. But I don't want to think everything is fine and only to one day find you passed out and bleeding and not have real chance to say goodbye"

Daryl took both of her hands in his, "That aint gonna happen, I'll always say goodbye you. An' anyway I aint goin' nowhere Carol, I'm still here"

Carol bowed her head and Daryl lifted it up again with his fingers and kissed her cheek,

"Okay, I'll go an' see Merle with ya. I'll go talk to Martinez, Rick and Lori, we'll get Sophia and then I wanna go to city hall"

"City hall?"

"I wanna marry you today. I don't care about the venue or the clothes or anything I just want you Carol"

Carol smiled softly through her tears, "Okay" She kissed his lips delicately despite the pain, "I'll marry you today, Lori might have a little makeup to hide this ugly bruise" she paused and teasingly asked, "you sure you're not marrying me to shut me up?"

Daryl twisted his mouth, "Course not, I'm marrying you because you and Sophia are the only important people in my life at this moment and I wanna make sure I'm with you until the end" Carol kissed him smiling against his lips, "And because of ya ass" he muttered, chuckling against her lips as Carol playfully hit him.

Daryl sighed, "its 5:30am, we should get back to bed if we're seeing that motherfucker later" he took her slowly by the hand and led her back into the bedroom. Carol removed his hoodie, her pants and her boots and cuddled in close with him.

"Do you think Savannah will be a better start? For us?" She knew she already lived there, but everything had been so bad since the moment she arrived.

Daryl stroked her hair, "Any place with you is the better place"

Carol smirked, "Okay smooth talker" she said before laughing and kissing his cheek. "I'll see you in the morning" she sighed sleepily,

Before the two of them slowly drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

…

The next morning felt like hell for Carol.

Her eyes could barely open with the lack of sleep weighing her eyelids down, her head was killing her from only a few small drinks and a beer. She could only imagine how Daryl was feeling. She touched her face cautiously, it still ached from Merle's powerful fists. She slowly sat up to see the light slowly seeping in through the blinds focusing on the spot where Daryl was supposed to be sleeping. She glanced down at her watch, it read:

11:15am

She gradually dragged herself out of bed to see Daryl sitting on the couch silently. Carol slowly tiptoed in and peaked over his shoulder to see him looking at their pictures from Savannah. She watched as he wiped his thumb over her face and sighed quietly. Carol gently snaked her arms around him,

"I can't believe you kept them"

"I'm a bitch for sentiment" he said pulling her over the couch and onto his lap. "I couldn't stand not seein' ya face every now and then"

Carol kissed him, "I kept my share of the pictures too. I guess we're both fools for each other" she smiled and Daryl kissed her hand,

"Your face still hurtin'?" he asked nervously.

Carol nodded touching the bruise and wincing, "It doesn't hurt as much as earlier though"

Daryl shook his head, his hand gripped onto hers tightly, "I can't promise I aint gonna knock him on his ass"

"You don't need to fight. Scream if you have to but, say goodbye and move on. It's the best thing to do" She said gently although Carol wouldn't have minded taking another swing at him for all of the pain he had caused.

Daryl scoffed, "Nah, he hit ya an' I don't ever let that slide" he breathed deeply, "When I was eighteen I finally punched my dad in the face for hitting one of his "Women" some girl he met at the bar, she was sweet I could hear them fightin' in his bedroom she didn't want to do something he was forcin' her to do. When I walked in she was curled up cryin' with a black eye an' I didn't even hesitate I fuckin' knocked him on his ass and took the girl home" he laughed "I paid for it later…." He straightened up "And I nearly beat Ed to death for hurtin' you…I jus' – I can't let Merle get away with it"

Carol nodded, her fingers played with his shirt, "Then, do what you have to do. Just don't die"

Daryl smirked, "I aint doin' that for another few years"

Carol's breath caught in her throat, "Don't" she said in almost a whisper "Please"

Daryl stroked her hair back, "Sorry. I aint goin' nowhere" Carol smiled back up at him hopefully, "Are ya hungry?" he asked

"Just sleepy" she yawned "I could use coffee"

Daryl slipped out from beneath her and laid her gently on the couch, "Comin' up" he said before rushing into the kitchen and grabbing the coffee pot from the top shelf. He began to whistle "Something" as he poured the coffee beans into the mug. Her heart melted again. It was the same tune he always whistled or sang whenever he was happy, when they first met. It was good to hear he finally was getting his song back.

Carol glanced over at the white box sitting on the coffee table, she could see something else hiding beneath his small collection of photos. She moved across the couch, taking the box into her lap and found: A very pretty picture of his mother, a few notebooks and finally a photograph of him and Merle which looked like it had been crumpled up and unrumpled multiple times, like he couldn't make up his mind about him. In the picture they were grinning brightly over a freshly killed Deer, they had their crossbows raised high in the sky, with their other arms over each other.

It didn't look that new, Daryl looked about 25 maybe a little older in the picture.

Carol stroked her finger over it and sighed. So much shit had happened. She wondered if he ever wished he could go back to this moment before he resented Merle like he did now and all of the fighting had started. When things seemed simpler, where all they had to do to connect was kill an animal and drink some beers.

Why did things have to be so complicated now?

Daryl walked back into the room with a steaming hot cup of coffee in one hand, he came in with a smile which gradually faded as he found Carol staring down at the picture of him and Merle. He carefully set the coffee on the table and hopped next to her.

"Do you ever wish you could go back?" she asked quietly.

"What do ya mean?"

"When things were simple. When you didn't have to worry about the ones you love or if you were gonna live or die. Just go back to when, it was just you and Merle and you were happy. You could just drink all day and hunt deer and still get along so well. You look so happy in this picture and when I look at you now." She cupped his face stroking it tenderly "You look like you've been to hell and back"

"Cause I have"

Carol let her eyes flutter, "I'm just saying maybe you would've been better off without me fucking things up and complicating everything. If it wasn't for me you'd still be closer with your brother wouldn't you? And you wouldn't be sick, if you hadn't met me you wouldn't have had a reason to fight or drink as much" her voice shook.

Daryl shook his head, a disgusted expression planting on his face.

"Can you hear yourself?" he asked "Despite all of that bullshit, my life is a hell of a lot better than it was back then. Merle and me, yeah we got along but he still treated me like shit. I told you about the things he did, trust me sooner or later I would've still kicked his ass." He took Carol's hands from his face and into his own "You and Sophia…You made it better for me. You changed everythin'. I'm still a fuckin' piece of shit but I'm less of a piece of shit because of you two, If I hadn't met you I'd still be scared shitless to let someone get too damn close, I would already be dead in the gutter somewhere probably doing drugs with Merle and I wouldn't- I wouldn't have had a real reason to live. I'm better because of you Carol" he breathed heavily.

Carol lunged into Daryl's arms, "You were always good Daryl, I just helped you to see it"

Daryl smiled and nudged her playfully, "Don't go blamin' yourself, Merle gets in ya head, he's good at doin' that even when he's not around"

Carol nodded pulling herself away from him, "You should probably get ready if we're meeting him in about 35 minutes"

Daryl sighed, "Alright" he sat up from the couch stretching, his shirt lifted slightly with him exposing his very small stomach.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Carol asked concerned

He shook his head, "Nah, but I need somethin' for my head. I feel like it's been bashed against a wall 30 times"

"That's what happens when you drink two and a half whole bottles of booze" she sang

Daryl rolled his eyes, "Yeah" he yawned again before strolling into the bathroom and shutting the door. Carol heard the showers come on and sighed with relief at the fact that Daryl was showering, he was in a bad state before…he still was, but he was recovering at a slow pace which was more than enough for Carol. As long as he was getting back on his feet, she was happy. Carol knew what depression was like and how much it can destroy a person, especially if dealing with for so many years and especially if they're alone. Just how suffocating it is to not be sure if you're going insane or not and not having someone there to reassure you.

Carol suddenly started crying again and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

He had to deal with so much, while being so alone for so long.

She stared down at her ring, but now neither of them had to be alone and if they were sad, they could at least be sad together. Carol stared down at it gleaming in the bright light.

This time it was going to be so different and so much better.

When she had first gotten married, the ceremony felt so forced. She had gotten cold feet as Ed had had a temper the night before and it had scared her a lot. They had gotten into a fight over the wedding costs, Carol had yelled something at him which he didn't like, so he verbally abused her until she was in tears. He hadn't hurt her physically but it had made her weary of being anywhere near him. She remembered voicing her concerns to her own Dad, all he did was tell her to get over it and she already knew why, he had begun making deals with Ed's father over a shared business so she was forced to suffer. She rarely visited her father after the abuse had begun and when she did, he ignored her cries for help and allowed himself to be blinded in Ed's web of lies.

Carol had spent the rest of her time convincing herself Ed yelling like that was a onetime thing and that he loved her and if he didn't love her he wouldn't have asked her and so on.

As soon as that ring had gone on her finger, she wished she had realised she had just sold her life away.

But this time, she'd know how much she truly loved her fiancée, she wouldn't fear for him and she'd know that she'd always be safe with him.

It had to be better.

The door opened as Daryl stepped out of the bathroom and Carol's heart broke a little bit to see Daryl's now slightly feebler body wrapped around in his towel. But instead of worrying him with her expression, Carol forced a smile when he turned his eyes to her.

"What's the matter?" he chuckled, his hair dripping.

"I'm just thinking about how grateful I am to have you Daryl Dixon, after all of this craziness"

Daryl moved over to the couch and kissed her cheek, "I'm glad you saved my ass that night" Carol grinned at him moving a piece of damp hair from his face, "I'll be ready in a few minutes" he said running to the bedroom, clinging his towel to his butt.

"I'll be waiting"

…

Twenty minutes later, Daryl appeared out of his room with his hair messily brushed over and a sweet yet musky scent over his plaid shirt and pants. It hadn't taken Carol very long to get changed all she did was throw on what she was wearing the night before and brush her fingers through her hair slightly messily. She was glad Daryl looked so…human but thought it was kind of pointless considering within the next half hour he may possibly be wearing his brother's blood on his clothes.

"You clean up well, Mr Dixon"

Daryl shrugged, "Been wearin' that shirt for a few days…kind of needed to change it"

Carol took his hand in hers and they exited the apartment together. There were so many stairs going down, Carol couldn't help but steal looks at Daryl to make sure he could handle it. It seemed like he had trouble keeping up when they had been fooling around the night before, who knows if he could handle something as simple as the stairs. Daryl must've noticed her staring because the next thing he did was pick her up and jog down the stairs muttering the words,

"Still got it"

As they got to the front door Daryl let her walk again, "I gotta tell Dawn I'm leavin', hand in my keys and the rent"

"We'll do it on the way back?" she said letting him open the front door.

"Yeah, before we officiate this" he smirked holding up her ring hand before kissing her softly. They walked up to his truck,

"I need to take the car back to Rick and Lor-"Carol froze. She had been out all night without one phone call "Shit. I need to call them! I've been out all night" Carol panicked.

Daryl shushed her calmly "When Merle an' I are talkin' Martinez will let ya use his phone" He said. He opened Carol's door for her swiftly before hopping in on his own side of the truck. The ride was long but it was a beautiful change of pace. As they drove she could see the beautiful grass and trees changing into a new shade of jade to get ready for summer. Daryl drove with the windows down so the breeze puffed sweetly through her hair and brushed its lips against her cheek. As they sped past all of the different people driving down the street driving probably a lot safer than Daryl, he blasted out "You aint seen nothing yet" as he hummed softly.

"Then she looked at me with big brown eyes…" Carol sang softly. Daryl turned his head to glance at her and a small smirk planted across his lips before he began laughing, he turned up the volume and linked one hand with hers.

"She said you aint seen nothin' yet!" He sang loudly. These were the moments Carol missed most, the moments where they didn't have to worry about responsibilities or if they were going to live or die, when they could let their minds relax and do something as mindless as singing stupid songs in the car. When they did stuff like this, it was like there wasn't a thing wrong with the world as long as they had each other to be stupid with.

They came to a jolted stop as the red light shone above them. Daryl admired her softly, his hand squeezing hers. His beautifully intimidating eyes explored every inch of her body, causing Carol to blush uncontrollably. It was like he was looking at her for the first time all over again, maybe that was what it was like for Daryl. Like they were about to start over, for the better. Carol rubbed her finger over the back of his hand and kissed his cheek before the green light lit up again and they continued driving.

She stared at the open road ahead of them and it felt like paradise.

Carol turned down the radio, "Are you nervous about seeing Merle?"

Daryl shrugged, "I'm more pissed off about what he did. I aint thinkin' about being nervous"

Carol turned her face slightly to face the window, she didn't need him getting worked up again.

Daryl lit a cigarette and rolled down the window, "I aint gonna kill him but I aint gonna let him forget either" there was a long silence until Daryl let out a saddened sigh and stopped the car on the side of the road, he exhaled smoke from his lungs and turned to her with tired eyes "Do you think I'm a monster?" he asked gruffly.

Carol narrowed her eyebrows, "Of course not"

"What I did to Ed and what I'm gonna do to Merle…I know they're fuckin' pieces of shit who deserve every bad thing they get but I don't ever feel fuckin' human when I'm doin' these things. It scares the shit out of me"

"Because you're hurting them…"

Daryl shook his head, "Because when I'm doin' it I feel angry until it blinds me and I feel nothin' and it's just me standing there until their blood is on my hands" he let more smoke seep through his lips "I've hurt more people than I've saved…My mom…some of my dad's girls…Sophia…Beth…You…" He inhaled roughly, "I aint a good man. I've gotta stop pretending I am"

Carol stared at him for a few seconds until she locked her hand with his,

"You have to stop blaming yourself Daryl. It's not your fault what happened to me or your mom or Beth, the important thing is you helped us all when things were rough. Bad men like Merle and Ed, they're the evil ones in this world who put us into those rough places. There are good people and there are so many bad people and Daryl, when I look at you I see you're one of the good guys" she sighed "sometimes there are things that have to be done even when we don't want to do them, but it doesn't make us bad people. I know so much has happened over both of our lives but I need you to forgive yourself Daryl, not for me but for yourself. "

Daryl nodded, he turned the key to start the engine up again without saying a word. He let his cigarette drop out of the window and continued driving down the street. Carol could tell he wasn't listening to her, when he drifted off like this silently, he was usually thinking and hating himself in the darkness. He did this every time she showed him a new scar from Ed or if she'd gotten into some kind of trouble for not doing her 'chores' because she'd been with him. She needed him to know that he was so much better than he believed he was, that every bad thing anyone had told him in his long life was a lie. That it was better now.

"Don't give up on yourself, Dixon"

Daryl smirked letting out a small chuckle, "You should be a motivational speaker"

Carol smiled back, "Maybe when we're married I'll go look for a job in that area" she paused hesitantly "Are we gonna tell Merle about that?" she asked

"Nah, all he'll do is follow us and wreck it. Better not"

"Okay. And Martinez?"

Daryl smiled, "the man put up with my shit for a few months and gave me a job when I needed it. Of fuckin course!" he laughed.

Carol grinned, but that grin quickly faded from her face at the sight of the broken The Drunken Deer sign right ahead of them. Her stomach squeezed as if there was a snake slowly wrapping itself around it tightly while her heart hammered in desperation against her ribs as her hands got clammy.

"Here we go" she said, her voice slightly out of key.

Daryl patted her gently, "Calm down" he said. He took her disgustingly sweaty hand in his own and led her out of the truck and straight into the bar. The first thing Carol saw as Daryl pushed the door open was Martinez leaping up from behind the bar and wrapping his arms over Daryl. She couldn't make out everything Martinez was saying except for him saying that he thought that he was

"Dead"

Or

"High" somewhere.

Daryl patted his back, "Nah man, it's okay"

Carol's eyes scanned the room. Merle wasn't in sight yet despite it being 12:10. Maybe he was still asleep after battering her face in the way he did or he was in hospital somewhere from the powerful kick she had delivered him.

She secretly hoped it was the second one.

Martinez stopped hugging Daryl and suddenly paused staring at Carol's bruised cheek.

"What the fuck happened to your face? Daryl did you-"

Daryl bared his teeth with slight disgust, "Of course not man! It was my jackass of a brother" he stopped "You seen him yet?" he asked

"Nah, only last night when he got really shit faced. Didn't leave til around 4am" Martinez said. Carol raised an eyebrow and he patted her shoulder "sorry. I shoulda stopped him" he uttered ashamed.

"He's the one who hit me. Not you" she pointed out with a grin.

Without warning the doors to the bar flung open with a great force, the light from the outdoors exploded into the room as Merle stood in the doorway. There was still dried blood on his shirt and a small wet patch on his pants which Carol could only guess was from an ice pack or he peed himself when he was drunk. He peered at Daryl with a hard expression and strolled towards him slowly. At first Carol thought he was going to hit him but instead he slid his hand behind Daryl's neck attempting to pull him into a hug. But Daryl had other plans, before Merle could pull him in any closer Daryl swung his fist and punched Merle right in the face sending him onto the ground with a thud.

Daryl leaned over him, "You don't ever fucking touch her or any other woman in your life you piece of shit. Or I will beat your ass into the ground! You fucking hear me?" he bellowed.

Merle blinked at him, seemingly not bothered by the punch.

"Is it true?" he asked shakily, there was blood falling from his lips.

"Is what true?"

"You dyin' boy?"

Daryl snappishly threw Carol a sharp look while Martinez threw him a helpless one. Daryl rolled his eyes and moved his hand down to help Merle up only to have it slapped away sharply.

"Answer the fucking question" Merle snarled.

Daryl bowed his head, "Yeah…I am" He shook his head "Fuck, I don't know if I-I'm dying but it aint lookin' too good. It's my fucking liver" he let out an awkward laugh "The drinks finally caught up to me"

Merle shakily lifted himself up from the floor, his chest moving quickly. He lifted one hand and with few hesitation smacked Daryl around the back of the head.

"You fuckin' shit brain!" He turned to Carol pointing one finger at her "And You- You fuckin' bitch I could jus-"

Daryl shoved Merle's finger away sharply, "Just shut the fuck up for once. I aint here to fight with you no more brother. I'm done" he exhaled heavily as he lit another cigarette.

Merle chuckled as he slid his finger over the blood on his lips and wiped it on Daryl's shirt, "Not fightin' anymore huh? Old Merle's blood on ya shirt tells me that's bullshit" he said. Carol grimaced at the smudge, why did Merle have to be so vulgar all the time? He was so different to Daryl and she couldn't figure out why…maybe it was just the age difference or their mother showing favouritism towards Daryl. Whatever it was, she was glad it didn't affect Daryl.

Daryl ignored the blood on his shirt and sighed deeply, "Nah, I socked you because you hurt Carol. But I aint fightin' no more. I'm tired man. I'm only here to say goodbye and then I'm gone"

Merle turned his eyes to glare at Carol before nodding silently and folding his arms,

"Martinez pour me a drink. We gonna have a long talk" he smirked surprisingly. Merle put one arm over Daryl's shoulder and led him over to the bar, Daryl turned back to look at Carol uncomfortably. She could tell he was hating every second of this, but if it meant keeping Merle from exploding he was going to have to endure.

Carol walked over to Martinez and leaned in his ear, "Can I use your phone?" she asked quietly. Martinez nodded pointing her to the back of a bar where a small black phone hung on the wall. As soon as she moved to lean against the wall, Daryl came up behind her with his arms folded. She turned to him quickly,

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to slip out" she apologised

Daryl shrugged, "Couldn't hide it forever. If I died he'd be even more pissed with you for not telling him"

"Are we gonna tell Rick and Lori?" she asked

Daryl bit his lip, "I don't want them to worry about me… shit I don't know" He let out an exhausted breath "I'll go talk with Merle, then Martinez and then we're out. Call Rick and Lori, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already got a search team for ya"

Carol nodded, her finger pressed upon the buttons to dial Lori's number until she paused and put the phone down,

"I think I'll wait."

"Carol?"

"I'll just bring you with me and that should explain it" She smiled "It's not serious until it's been 48 hours, now go talk to Merle" she encouraged pushing him slightly. Daryl nodded hesitantly and moved back towards the bar alongside Carol, she stood next to Martinez calmly while Daryl sat next to Merle stiffly. She watched carefully as Daryl grabbed a drink from the bar to speak to Merle, the two of them eyed him carefully until he finally sighed and slid his drink over to Merle. Both Carol and Martinez turned their backs away slowly, despite trying to low-key listen in on their conversation.

Merle gulped his drink, "So, how long do you have baby brother?" he asked groggily.

Daryl scratched at the table, "I don't know…All I know is my results aint lookin' good but shit…I don't know"

"You talked to ya doctor?"

"Nah, not yet. Maggie called me and told me but she didn't give details. I'll call her later" he sighed. Merle stared at him for a few seconds and nudged his arm gently.

"You told me you were sayin' goodbye…"

Daryl swallowed, "After we get her daughter, me and her, we're leaving and I aint comin' back"

"Where are ya goin'?"

Daryl shook his head sternly, "No. I aint tellin' you"

Merle furiously smacked his glass on the table causing it to shatter slightly. Carol and Martinez jumped but Daryl didn't even flinch.

"Why the fuck not?" he snapped

Daryl pointed at the broken glass, "That's why" he lowered his voice "If I tell you, you're gonna fuckin' follow us and we don't need your shit anymore. I done with all of it" he snarled quietly.

Merle laughed, "So let me get this straight. If you kick the bucket, I won't even know?"

Daryl stood up, "I've been gone for three years. When we were kids and Dad was beating me you weren't there either. What's the fuckin' difference?" he spat.

Merle snatched Daryl's shirt in his fist, his hands shaking and his face red.

"Go the fuck ahead" Daryl said "You wanna be a son of a bitch? Do it"

Merle stared intensely as if he could just break Daryl's neck right there and right then while Daryl just stood there blankly waiting for the punch. Carol ran from behind the bar and snatched Daryl away from Merle's grip ripping his shirt slightly.

"This is bullshit!" She yelled "You need to stop fighting! Every time I see you together you're always about murder each other. Can we please just have quiet for once?" she pleaded softly.

Merle took a step forward and Daryl immediately pushed Carol backward ready to pounce. He laughed cruelly and glared over Daryl's shoulder at Carol who, despite being in Daryl's protection was more concerned over Daryl stopping her from pouncing on Merle herself.

Merle touched his own cheek lightly, "Still hurt?" He smirked "What about your husbands? Can you still feel them burning like you should?" He laughed again, "Don't act so innocent, I see you for what you are you little bitch. Who the fuck do you think you are? Just disrespecting ya husband like that?"

Carol gritted her teeth, "I'm a survivor you son of a bitch. I survived every beating and every little bit of hell you and Ed put me through. It's taken a long time for me to realise it but I know I didn't deserve any of it. Ed was not my fucking husband. He was an abuser, like you. But Daryl - Daryl loved me and treated me like a person which is more than I can say for you. Scream at me, call me a whore, punch me again but just know it's never going to change a damn thing. I'm gonna keep loving him and he's gonna keep loving me" she spat. Her heart raced in her chest.

Merle scoffed lightly, "Love" he laughed "It's all gonna end lil Darlin' aint no way there's gonna be a happy ending especially with you around fuckin' him up"

"That's enough" Daryl snapped. "Merle what you did didn't change. You sent me over the edge with your damn "help" Now this is over. I'm leaving and don't you ever show your goddamn face to me again" he snarled. Daryl slipped his hand and into Carol's shaking one "C'mon. It's okay" He glanced over at Martinez and signalled him to follow them outside as he walked through the doors. "Wait in the truck. I'll just be a minute"

Carol nodded and hopped into the truck. She watched through the window at Daryl muttering into Martinez's ear and Martinez smiling back brightly as he nodded. He patted Daryl's back and stared as Daryl climbed back into the truck. Merle suddenly ran through the doors and straight to Daryl's window with a look of desperation on his face.

"You're makin' a fuckin' mistake going with her"

"This aint a mistake. Thinkin' I could talk sense into you was" he threw his cigarette out, rolled up the window and started the engine. Merle banged on the glass in a fury,

"You can't fuckin' leave me like this! I aint got nobody left!" he yelled. Daryl pressed his foot on the pedal and they started to move slowly away from the bar.

"Daryl!" Merle screamed red in the face. He sped off down the street and she could still hear him calling "Daryl!" She looked back in the rear view window,

"Daryl-"She began softly.

Daryl turned on the radio and muttered,

"Don't look back"

…

Daryl drove to Rick and Lori's in total silence. The only time he really interacted was when his hand accidentally brushed against Carol's as he pulled the gear stick. She continued to stare at the rear view window half expecting to see Merle still screaming in the background. She couldn't get his face out of her mind, he looked so broken it was horrible. He was a son of a bitch who deserved everything he got but God…his face and his voice were two things she didn't want to remember. What she really cared about was how Daryl was feeling…he saw the same she had seen and he wasn't saying a word.

By the blankness in Daryl's eyes, she could tell he was thinking of him too.

"You can still turn back if you want to" Carol hissed, even though she disagreed severely.

"Nah. He's a simple minded piece of shit"

Carol touched his arm, "He isn't good for you. But if you have more to say to him…I won't stop you"

"We're starting over. Just the three of us. " He said simply, "I don't need him anymore I just need you and Sophia" he grunted before kissing her on the cheek. "You need to stop worryin' about him. He didn't give two shits when he bruised ya face"

"I'm more worried about you" she sighed and Daryl took her hand,

"Don't. He's just another memory now, so is Ed and so is fuckin' shitty town" he uttered as he took one last turn before pulling up in front of Rick and Lori's home. Once the truck had stopped they sat in silence just staring until he felt Carol's fingers stroking over his gracefully.

"They're gonna be so happy to see you, Daryl"

Daryl looked lost for words, "I caused so much shit. I was such a fuckin' burden when I was with them…I- I just-"

Carol touched his face softly, "Just follow me Daryl" He softened into her touch before pulling the keys out and moving out of his side of the truck. She slid her hand into his as they walked, she swallowed, her hand knocking against the door.

"Y'know I should be the one who's nervous, considering I've been out all night" she grinned.

Daryl chuckled and suddenly the door was flung open. The two of them stared as Lori stood in front of them, her hair was messily done up and there were large bags beneath her eyes. Carol felt a small tug of guilt inside of her, Lori must've been up all night.

"Carol we-"Lori began but her sentence was suddenly cut short as she caught sight of Daryl. She shook her head looking ambushed and abruptly fell into Daryl's arms.

"We thought you were dead" she whispered

"Nah just livin' a shitty life" he half joked.

Lori turned her eyes to gaze at Carol, her eyes widened at the sight of the large bruise on her face as she moved to touch it.

"What happened?" she gasped.

"I ran into Daryl's brother" she winced "It wasn't pleasant"

"I can call Rick to arrest-"

"Don't. I didn't leave him without his own marks and anyway he's in the past now" she smiled linking her hand with Daryl's again.

Lori smiled, "Come in. Rick's But I'll call him to let him know you're safe"

The two of them slowly walked hand in hand into the living room while Lori disappeared into the kitchen. Just as they sat down they heard a small gasp and looked over to see Sophia standing in the doorway holding Carl's hand.

"Daryl?" she squeaked.

He grinned brightly, "How ya doin' lil girl?" he asked Sophia speedily dropped Carl's hand, she ran straight across the room launching herself into Daryl's arms. Her small slender arms wrapped around his neck while his head buried itself into her neck and she began crying. He rubbed her back gently, "Hey, it's okay girl. It's okay"

"I missed you" She mumbled into his shoulder.

He looked up at Carol who gave him a small I told you so look

"I'm here now. An' I'm goin' back with ya"

Sophia looked up at him, "You promise you won't go?"

Daryl smiled and wiped away her tears with his shirt, "I promise, girl"

"Why did you leave us? We needed you" she sniffed.

"It's complicated Sophia" he stroked her hair back "We'll talk about it later. An' anyway your Mom is tough she handled herself pretty well and so did you"

Sophia nodded smiling, she glanced up at Carol and gasped.

"Mom!"

Carol hid her bruise, "its okay I just had a little accident. Daryl took care of me" she said softly.

Daryl let Sophia sit on his knee, he looked at Carl giving him an approving nod. Carl slowly walked up and Daryl smacked his hand into a grip before the two of them exchanged smiles.

"It's good to see you back"

"Good to see you too little man" He looked between them "Damn you got big. How old are y'all?"

"We're 15" Sophia said quietly

"Shit" Carol nudged him and he chuckled "Sorry"

Carol squeezed his shoulder, "I'll let you catch up" She smiled before walking out into the hallway. As soon as the door shut behind her she took a deep breath and placed her face into her hands. The truth was she didn't want to give them room, just seeing how excited Sophia was to have Daryl back, it broke her heart knowing that there was a possibility they'd be losing him again and this time he wouldn't come back. Sophia deserved to have a decent father figure in her life especially after the shit Ed put her through, he rarely lay a hand on Sophia but when he did it broke Carol's heart. She was never allowed to be alone with Ed, she saw the way he looked at her with disgusting eyes. She didn't know what a real father looked like until she met Daryl.

No wonder Daryl had tried to kill him.

Sophia didn't deserve to grow up like this.

Nobody did.

Carol quickly wiped her own tears as Lori appeared in the hallway with Judith cradled in her arms.

"Carol? What's the matter?" she asked.

"It's them. She hasn't seen him in so long and-" Her voice cracked as she wiped more tears away "I'm fine. It's just emotional"

"I understand" she nodded "Rick is on his way back" she smiled and before she walked into the room Carol leaned over and muttered

"I need to talk to you a little later"

Lori nodded silently and pushed the door open. The two of them entered and Daryl's eyes immediately lit up at Judith resting in Lori's arms.

"Who's that?" he asked

Carol smiled, "Her name is Judith"

Lori walked over slowly, "You wanna hold her?"

Daryl nodded and Sophia hopped off of Daryl's knee. Lori delicately moved forward, her hands carefully slipped Judith into Daryl's arms. He moved his hands sensitively to support her head as he cradled her. His mouth curved into a small smile.

"Hey lil girl" He looked up at Lori "How old is she?"

"She turned one yesterday" She beamed.

Daryl nodded, "She's big but she's a cute one" he leaned in closer "Aint you?" Judith gurgled happily, her tiny hands clasped onto Daryl's shirt tugging softly. He laughed, "She's pretty demanding. Looks a lot like ya, Lori"

Lori rolled her eyes, "Thanks Daryl"

Carol stood in the corner watching Daryl lovingly as he cradled Judith. She remembered all of those times he'd said he'd be too afraid to be a father or he'd be crappy like his own but in reality, he would be a perfect father, he was nothing like Ed, Merle or his Dad. He was better than all of them.

"You're a natural" Carol grinned

Daryl shrugged smiling and Carol smiled back almost tearfully.

After all of the shit that had happened in less than 24 hours Daryl actually looked peaceful. Sure, he was ecstatic to see Carol again but seeing him on that couch cradling Judith made her heart melt. After everything that had happened, he finally was with a beacon of hope, something so pure and small that hadn't seen the horrors they had seen. It must've been refreshing for Daryl.

Carol felt herself crying again and quickly turned herself away to wipe her tears in hope of hiding it from Lori and Daryl but they both turned their attention to her instantly.

"Carol?" Daryl rasped.

"I'm fine" she sniffed. Lori put a hand out silently and led Carol towards the door.

"Come on Carol" she said quietly before turning to Daryl "If Judith gets hungry Carl knows where her bottle is" Daryl nodded silently and went back to looking down at Judith. They walked up the stairs hand in hand and Carol couldn't help but feel a sense of Déjà vu. She remembered the times when Ed would hurt her and she would seek comfort from Rick and Lori despite not telling what was wrong. She just needed to feel a little less lonely every now and then.

Carol sat on her bed.

"What's wrong Carol?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

Carol sighed deeply, "There's something wrong with Daryl. And I'm scared for him" she wiped away more tears.

"What?"

Carol latched onto Lori's hand tightly, "You can't tell Rick, or Carl and you can't tell Daryl I told you" she said sternly.

"I promise" Lori assured assembling herself onto the bed.

Carol shut her eyes, her chest felt dangerously tight.

"He's dying" She croaked out.

Lori's mouth opened struggling for words,

"H-He's what?"

Carol sighed deeply, "He's dying…I mean we don't know yet but he told me it isn't looking too good…it's his liver…"

Lori covered her mouth, the tears trickled down her cheeks and she forced herself onto Carol bringing her into a hug,

"I'm so sorry" she breathed, her tears fell down onto Carol's neck making her shiver.

"It's been a hard day. Just seeing him with you, Sophia, Carl and Judith" she exhaled "It's just getting harder and harder to keep it together"

Lori pulled away, "It must be…What's gonna happen?"

Carol shrugged, "I don't know…I guess we'll just have to see" She sniffed smiling "You know, he told me everything that led up to me meeting him again." Carol gave her another soft hug "Thank you for trying to help him"

Lori nodded, "It was a pleasure"

"Daryl doesn't want me to worry you or Rick so you can't tell him I told, I don't know if he was planning on telling you or not about this"

Lori nodded as she held Carol's hand, "You know he'll be okay don't you? He's so tough and such a fighter…he won't let death take him not yet at least"

"Thank you" Lori stood up from the bed and from her drawer she pulled out a box of tissues and a bottle of concealer which quickly caused Carol to remember. "There's another thing, but we're gonna tell you and Rick together…I might need to borrow this" she said clutching the bottle.

"Of course" Lori smiled, she leaned in and kissed Carol's forehead softly, "We should go back downstairs. Daryl might need help with Judith"

When they made it back down the stairs to their surprise, Daryl was handling Judith very well. She had marks from where she had previously crying but was now giggling as Daryl had her sat up against him. He stared up concerned as soon as Carol re-entered the room.

"Everything okay?" he asked

Carol sighed, "Yeah…but we need to talk"

Lori slowly moved towards Daryl, "I'll take her. She probably needs her sleep anyway"

Daryl scooped Judith up carefully, "I'm gonna hand ya back to your mom" he said as he handed her back. As Lori moved back out of the room Carol shifted her head signalling Daryl to follow her out into the corridor. He shut the door behind him, leaving Carl and Sophia to talk.

"You alright?" he asked quietly.

Carol fluttered her eyes, "What are we gonna tell Rick and Lori?"

"Shit" he muttered hesitantly "Just leave it alone. We'll tell them about us but I aint sayin' anythin' else…I don't wanna see anyone else hurtin' because of me"

Carol held Daryl's face, "They're just concerned"

Daryl shook his head, "Nah I don't wanna see it. Fuckin' tore me apart to see you cry…" he rubbed his face tiredly "Fuck it's gonna be worse with Sophia"

Carol bit her lip nervously, "When do we tell her?"

Daryl exhaled, "My apartment. When we get my shit and I hand in my keys, we'll talk"

"Before we go to town hall?"

"Before we go to town hall" Daryl repeated.

A car suddenly pulled up behind them, they turned their heads to peak through the window. Rick stepped out of his police car rapidly and raced towards the door as he fumbled with his keys eagerly. Carol took Daryl's hand in hers and the two of them walked towards the door hesitantly. Before Rick could stick his key in the hole, Carol had already swung it open leaving Rick and Daryl staring at each other in shock. Daryl nodded his head approvingly and Rick wrapped his arms over Daryl bringing him in for a strong bear hug. He breathed heavily against him, laughing softly as he hugged him.

"It's fucking good to see you" Rick uttered "I thought you were gonna end up dead"

Daryl tensed at that but forced a shy smile.

"Nah man, Dixons fight until the end" he chuckled although sometimes that wasn't a good thing.

Rick unwrapped himself from Daryl's body and his eyes turned to look at Carol, she stared back him slightly nervous. It had been a long night and he looked like shit, she wouldn't be surprised if she was about to get a giant earful but instead, he laid one hand on her shoulder softly and his mouth softened into a smile.

"Thank you" he mouthed.

Lori walked back into the room and slid herself in next to Rick, he leaned down and kissed her lips gently.

"How's Judy doing?" he asked, his hands played mindlessly with Lori's long hair.

"She's sleeping" She smiled "Daryl took good care of her"

Rick raised one impressed eyebrow, "That's good to hear Daryl" he chuckled.

Carol cleared her throat, "We have something we need to tell you" she squeezed Daryl's hand "Follow us" she smiled as she led them into the living room. She watched silently as they squeezed onto the couch with Carl and Sophia and she took a deep breath. Her eyes glanced up at Daryl, who was already nodding his head and signalling her to go.

"We thought about this for a long time before but as you know…stuff happened and we couldn't" she swallowed dryly "But now we're ready…and…" Carol struggled with her words so Daryl jerked her hand forward to expose her ring.

Carol blushed raising her eyebrow to Daryl who just shrugged back.

"Yeah. We're getting married today" She beamed. Daryl was really straight forward when he wanted to be. Sophia slowly got off of the couch and stared at the two of them before she launched herself into them and hugged them close. She didn't say any words but her actions spoke loudly enough.

"Congratulations" Rick grinned, he smacked one hand into Daryl's sharply and shook it while Lori embraced Carol into a hug.

"We're going down to town hall later. I guess we'll have a small ceremony and then we're gone" she said into Lori's hair.

"You got someone for the job?" Rick asked rubbing the back of his neck.

Carol shook her head, "No"

Rick nodded, "Well, I know a guy who can probably do it. He owes me after I saved his ass from a bunch of angry protesters" he rolled his eyes, "Can't say the guy didn't deserve it though"

"Thank you, Rick" Carol said softly.

Rick nodded slapping his hands together quickly, "I'll go start lunch. When do you guys have to leave?" he asked removing his jacket to expose his white t-shirt.

"I'll have to call them first but we need to leave town by 4pm"

Rick looked down at his watch, it read 1:39

"Christ" he muttered under his breath "I'll be fast for you" he urged before dashing into the kitchen almost tripping over one of Judith's many toys.

…

They ended up not staying as long as they had hoped. In fact almost as soon as they finished eating lunch at around 2:15 they had to race out of the door to have enough time to pack. They said their goodbyes while Carol promised to bring their car back and then they hit the road. Almost immediately, Sophia fell asleep in the back and most of the journey they remained silent although Carol knew they were both finding ways in their head to tell Sophia about Daryl. All she knew was that it wasn't going to be easy, that was for sure.

As soon as they pulled up, they exchanged silent looks before Carol woke Sophia up softly.

"Honey, we're here" she whispered, her voice as smooth as honey.

Sophia nodded groggily and basically fell out of the truck sleepily. Her body drooped as she walked next to Carol. Carol felt another wave of guilt, she must've been waiting up all night for her too.

Daryl moved his lips close to her ear,

"I'm gonna go talk to Dawn" he rasped and Carol nodded stroking her hands over Sophia's hair.

"When Daryl gets back we need to talk about something serious"

Sophia's eyes softened and she suddenly looked afraid.

"I'll make you something and then we'll talk" Carol said nodding her head towards both Daryl and Sophia. Daryl patted her back gently and quickly jogged ahead of them.

Carol infolded her hand into Sophia's and this time she didn't complain one bit. She could definitely tell that she knew something was wrong. In fact, as they walked up the stairs she could feel her grip tightening more and more while her chest moved at a fast pace. They passed Daryl sitting in the Landlord "Dawn's " room looking bored, when he caught sight of them he threw up 2 fingers telling them that he'd be two minutes.

The two of them made it to the top floor breathing heavily.

"That's a lot of stairs…" Sophia said quietly.

"Yeah, but you won't need to come up this many again though" She looked over his shoulder "And neither will he"

They walked inside the secluded apartment and Sophia shut her eyes softly.

"Daryl was living here the whole time?"

Carol sighed, "Yes…for three long years"

Sophia shook her head, "He should've come home sooner….this place isn't nice. It's lonely"

Carol patted her shoulder, "You're right…but he's coming home with us soon. And we'll have better days together" she said hopefully. Carol moved into the kitchen, her hands searched through Daryl's little fridge only to find empty spaces where all his beer used to be and a carton of orange juice, along with some milk.

This will have to do She thought to herself and she poured a glass of milk before sitting Sophia down on the couch. Carol stared around the room, there really wasn't a lot to pack away, Sophia was right this place was so lonely. She didn't know how Daryl was still alive, still smiling and willing to come back with them. If this was her…she wasn't sure if she'd still be doing the things he was doing.

Daryl slowly pushed the door open, she could hear him wheezing slightly while he held his chest. Carol quickly stood up but Daryl waved her down,

"I'm fine…I'm fine" he breathed heavily "I jus' can't run up the stairs like before"

His eyes moved between Carol and Sophia, Carol shook her head and he nodded understandingly before sitting down on the coffee table in front of her.

"What's going on?" Sophia asked sipping her milk.

"We have something we need to talk to you about" Carol sighed softly. She took Daryl's hand in her own.

"Is it about you leaving?" she asked staring at Daryl.

The two of the exchanged looks and Daryl moved to hold Sophia's hand.

"You wanna know why I left you two?"

"Yes" she said sternly.

He sighed, "At first it was because I needed to find ya dad and I thought you'd be safe…a lot of stuff happened over those four months. I was livin' on the streets…I lost my friend…"

"How?"

Daryl swallowed dryly.

"A man I knew…he robbed us and stabbed her right in front of me" his voice shook slightly.

"I'm sorry" Sophia said but Daryl didn't answer.

"After that my dad died and I found your dad and I hurt him bad…I hurt him so fuckin' bad" His voice cracked this time and Carol could see that he was losing himself again, she stroked her hand over his softly.

"Come back Daryl" she urged gently.

He exhaled wiping his tears away with the back of his hand,

"I'm sorry" he breathed "I was afraid I was gonna hurt you too. Or that I wouldn't be able to keep you safe…" he said looking back at Sophia.

Sophia shook her head, "You were wrong…My daddy would've hurt us you're a good guy Daryl" Daryl smiled through his tears and pulled her in tightly for a hug, she could feel the tears on her shirt but she didn't mind at all.

"Is that it then?" Sophia asked and Carol closed her eyes.

"No"

Daryl pulled away from Sophia and sat her back on the table.

"I was alone for a long fuckin'-sorry long time. I drank and drank until I couldn't take it…" he swallowed.

Sophia's hands began to shake, "I-I don't understand"

Daryl stared back at her with hard eyes, "I'm sick Sophia…I have been for a long time now" he said roughly.

Sophia's eyes watered, "What's wrong with you?"

"My liver…My liver aint lookin' too good. It's dyin'"

Sophia let out a small breathy cry, "Can't you get a new one?"

Daryl shook his head, "There's a long list and I aint even close to the top"

Sophia clasped onto his shirt sobbing,

"Daryl no" she cried.

"I'm sorry lil girl"

Daryl attempted to hold her but she shoved him away sharply.

"It isn't fair" Sophia cried loudly.

"Sophia-"Daryl called but Sophia had already exited the apartment. The two of them stood up but Daryl put one hand out to Carol slowly. "I'll go talk to her"

"You sure that's a good idea?"

Daryl breathed in, "I guess we'll find out"

"I'll-I'll start moving your stuff"

Daryl scoffed, "Don't bother I aint taking much anyway jus' a few clothes and that's it. Dawn's gonna deal with the rest" he said before racing out of the apartment. Carol could still hear Sophia sobbing outside, she popped her head around the corner cautiously to see Sophia crying and sitting on the edge of the window as Daryl moved to sit next to her.

"You don't need to cry" Daryl hushed.

"You're leaving us again" she sniffed.

"I aint goin' anywhere"

Sophia stared up at him insulted, "You said your liver was dying" she snapped half angrily and half sadly.

Daryl patted around his stomach, "It is but slowly. I've been gettin' meds to help slow it down you know. Those doctors that took care of ya mom and made her better? They're the ones helpin' me"

Sophia stared tearfully as he held her hands.

"I'm always gonna try an' be around until the end" he wiped her tears away "I promise I won't ever leave without sayin' goodbye" He said softly as he kissed her forehead.

There was a long silence between them until Sophia jumped into Daryl's arms and grabbed onto him for dear life.

"You won't leave?"

Daryl laughed into her hair,

"Nah, I'm stayin'"

"Good" she said her words muffled by his shirt and he swung her away from the ledge carefully.

"We should start bringin' the boxes downstairs!" Daryl called as he brought Sophia back indoors.

Carol nodded but that's all she could do as she stared at him lovingly thinking to herself.

If only I'd met him first

…

It only took 25 minutes to pack all of Daryl's stuff into the truck since he was taking so little with him. The only boxes that Carol could see where boxes labelled Clothes, Books and Music (although the music box was very light). Carol flicked through many of Daryl's books as she hauled them onto the truck, a lot of them had his and Merle's names scribbled on the top and were quite old. And then she realised they must have been some of the books they had read as kids to escape the true horror of their lives and it broke her heart a little bit.

Daryl grabbed one of the last two boxes,

"Rick called and this Father Gabriel is gonna do the weddin' for us,"

Carol nodded, "Are they already there?"

"Yeah" he replied, his voice raspy and quiet. She could see that he was nervous.

Carol stroked his hair back, "It'll be okay it'll be over quickly and then we can go home" she encouraged and Daryl nodded, he took a cigarette out from his pocket and played with it for a second before he muttered the words Fuck it and shoved it back in his pocket, he stared at her nervously.

"I jus' aint a fan of this traditional shit. Weddings freak me out with all those people"

"It's just us, Rick, Lori and Carl and Martinez" she smiled. He softened into her touch and nodded agreeing. "Anyway, it kind of freaks me out too" she said and the two of them exchanged smiles, Daryl brought her into a quick kiss,

"I'll be back up in a minute to lock the door" he said and he walked back down the stairs with the box in his hand.

"Okay" Carol moved around the apartment one final time. . There was a single box sitting in the room and that was it. Once the box was gone the final trace of Daryl ever being there was gone while all the pain, the anger and the sadness was being left alone to haunt these lonely halls and Carol was so grateful. A lot of people never get to leave it behind and he was one of the lucky ones.

After Carol had picked up the final box she turned around to see a woman just standing there watching her. She had dark hair which was neatly tied back along with a very neat uniform and piercing eyes which looked like they could kill with one stare. She stared at Carol with dissatisfaction.

"Can I help you?" Carol asked.

"You must be Carol" the woman said.

Carol's eyes squinted, "Who are you?"

The woman raised an eyebrow, she slipped her finger over the counter and cringed disgusted as a line of dust came off.

"I'm Dawn"

"Oh. Daryl's landlord?"

Dawn smirked, "That's right and I've had a lot of time over the years to get to know Daryl" she stared at Carol creepily, "You should stay away from him"

"Excuse me?"

Dawn rolled her eyes, "He's fucked up. You really messed him up, more than he's probably telling you"

Carol dropped the box and folded her arms, "He told me everything"

Dawn laughed mockingly, "he told you what happened but he didn't tell you everything that it did to him, you didn't hear him the nights he would scream…sometimes calling your name. The times I had to deal with noise complaints only to find him on the floor in his own vomit drunk to shit and crying"

Carol shook her head sternly,

"He's nothing like you think"

"Oh and what do I think?"

"You think he's fucked up" Carol spat angrily. She wouldn't hesitate to hit this woman.

Dawn nodded, "And he is. I don't know what he did but I know it was bad and if you're smart you'll stay away from him before he can infect you too. Don't let him drag you down"

Carol leaned forward with gritted teeth, "I know Daryl, more than you ever will. I know how much it hurt him and I know that he's still not okay and we are going to work through it!" she snapped furiously.

"You might, but eventually he'll break you"

Carol smiled mocking her, "Oh sunshine you clearly don't know a thing about me do you? After everything that's happened over the years. I can't be broken, not anymore" she beamed "Now get out"

Daryl knocked on the door softly, "What the fuck is goin' on?"

Carol picked up the box, "Dawn and I were just leaving" she said as she walked out of the door. Daryl turned to Dawn and let the keys drop into the middle of her palm. The two of them didn't look back again. She didn't know if Daryl heard their conversation or not but she didn't care, it just meant he knew that she was there no matter what.

Daryl moved his stuff into the back of the truck and kissed Carol softly one more time.

"I'll see you down at town hall"

"Not if I see you first" she flirted as she hopped into the car. Carol gave him one last nod before speeding down the street without him.

…

Carol stopped in front of the town hall only to see Rick, Lori and Carl all waiting outside smiling and dressed up. She craned her neck around, Daryl's truck was parked ahead of her but he was nowhere to be seen. The two of them walked out of the car with Carol wrapping her arms around Rick and Lori.

"Where's Daryl?" she asked confused.

"Getting dressed" Lori smiled. Carol raised an eyebrow and Lori pulled out two bags from behind her back and shoved them into Carol and Sophia's chests. "Go and get dressed"

Carol hugged the bag to her softly, "We weren't going to make it a big thing…"

Lori tangled her fingers in Carol's silver hair, "But it is a big thing. This time you're getting married to the right person. You may as well look the part for it"

"Thank you" Carol whispered and the two of them speedily made their way into the women's bathroom. It only took a few minutes for Carol to slip on the plain white dress and flat shoes, although she quickly changed her mind and put her boots back on. She stroked her fingers through her hair softly trying to make it neat and dabbed a tiny amount of concealer on her cheek. Sophia exited the toilet in a small blue dress and Carol beamed at her.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Yes" Sophia said confidently and the two of them exited the bathroom to see Rick and Carl standing outside dressed very sharply. Rick moved his arm out to Carol,

"It's time to go" Carol held onto his arm gently while Sophia quickly latched onto Carl's hand and the four of them walked through the marble halls. They walked across the shiny floor and suddenly stopped at two large heavy doors. Rick moved to open one and Carl led Sophia through first. Once they saw them standing on either side of the room, it was her turn.

The first thing Carol saw was Daryl standing right at the front in a tight suit which looked slightly uncomfortable with Father Gabriel and Martinez by his side, which Carol could only guess as his best man. She had to stop herself from giggling at the sight of Daryl, he didn't look ugly in fact he looked quite handsome. It was the fact that Daryl had told her before that he'd rather make out with a dog than force himself in a "monkey suit". But he didn't seem to care at all, when she entered he just stood there staring at her with a proud smile on his face. His eyes looked as if they were watering which caused Carol to blush immediately.

"It's good to see him happy and crying for once" Rick muttered.

"Yeah. It really is" Carol hissed. Rick let Carol slip out of his arm and face Daryl before he moved to stand by Lori.

Father Gabriel smiled,

"Friends, we have joined here today to share with Daryl and Carol an important moment in their lives. Their time together, they have seen their love and understanding of each other grow and blossom and now they have decided to live out the rest of their lives as one" He turned to them "Do you have your own vows?"

Carol nodded biting her lip, "I didn't have much time to prepare so forgive me if this isn't as good as it could be" she breathed deeply and stared into Daryl's stunning blue eyes, "A long time ago I was in a dark and terrible place, which seemed to get worse and worse every day and I thought I'd never escape. Until one day I met an amazing man called Daryl Dixon" she said with a smile "He saved me from more than he can imagine. From Ed, from my darkness, from myself. He helped me to become the woman I am today. You helped me to believe in hope again, to love myself and even though these last few years apart were tough, you helped me to become strong on my own and I am forever grateful for everything you have given me" she stroked his face "You've been so brave and so wonderful to both me and Sophia. It would be an honour to spend the rest of my life with the man I love in sickness and in health" Carol began to tear up "Thank you for giving me something I thought I'd never get back"

Daryl chuckled tearfully, "I don't know how I'm gonna beat that. I aint good with words but I'll try" He swallowed "I spent the first thirty five years of my life seein' the word as a filthy Goddamn place"

Father Gabriel cleared his throat unimpressed.

"Sorry" he shrugged "I got told every day of my tainted life that nobody was ever gonna care about me except for my brother…and that the rest of the world would jus' see me as the trash that I am. And I believed there wasn't a damn good thing in this life until one day on one shit storm of a night I got my ass beaten on the street and that one good thing saved me. After that night everythin' stopped bein' so shitty an' I felt like I was where I belonged for the first time in my life." His lips trembled as he stared at Carol "You saved me from a pretty dark place too and helped me fight these damn demons. An' now I'm changed, I'm a better man 'cause of you. You gave me everythin' I thought I could only dream about in books and I'm glad I met ya"

"We've come a long way Mr. Dixon" She laughed through her tears.

Father Gabriel grinned wiping his own eyes, "Carol do you take Daryl as your husband to cherish and love forever?"

"I do"

He turned to Daryl, "Daryl do you take Carol as your wife to cherish and love forever?"

"Of fuckin' course I do" Daryl laughed. Carol grinned brightly, it was so like Daryl to swear during his own wedding.

Father Gabriel raised an eyebrow, "The rings?"

Rick and Carl strolled forward quickly and handed them to Daryl and Carol who carefully but speedily slipped them onto each other's fingers.

"By the power vested in me by the State of Georgia I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride"

"Come here" Daryl said gruffly. He stroked his fingers through Carol's hair softly as he pressed his lips against hers and to Carol's surprise he tilted her back slightly causing her to giggle in the middle of the kiss. As they kissed, the sounds of Rick, Lori, Martinez, Sophia and Carl cheering in the background echoed. As soon as they finished they linked arms and practically ran to officiate their marriage. The process was long but in the end it was worth it, she was no longer linked to Ed as Peletier.

She was now a Dixon and a proud one.

After getting their pictures taken by Rick and Lori they raced straight out of town hall with Sophia linked in between them and hopped straight into the truck. The two of them waved one final time while Sophia gave Carl a kiss on the lips possibly for the last time and finally they sped off down the street to start over.

…

Following their four hours of fast driving they finally came to a stop in front of their new home. Carol stared at him as they stepped out of the truck.

"How are you feeling Mr. Dixon?" she asked brightly.

"Sweatin' my ass off in this monkey suit" he laughed and Carol hit him playfully,

"The first chance I get I'm gonna give you a haircut" she smiled playing with his hair and Daryl nodded,

"Fair enough. But you gotta do somethin' for me"

"What is it?"

Daryl smirked, "I've seen a lot of movies and-"

Carol pouted, "Don't you dare"

"Too late" Daryl chuckled and he swung Carol in his arms, Sophia walked up to them laughing at Carol's unimpressed facial expression as she slid the keys into the hole allowing Daryl and Carol to walk through. But the sound of laughing and soft kisses was quickly interrupted by the new harsher sound of a cup shattering into millions of little pieces.

They all turned their neck to see Axel standing by the table speechless. His hands shook and his lips trembled as he put the pieces together slowly. As Daryl put Carol down, Axel opened his mouth only managing to choke out the words,

"What the fuck is he doin' here?"