Jaal was pacing the Tech Lab in quick, agitated strides. Sara had spent the night on the station, not on the ship. He knew she would be on her way back now, since Gil had sent a message to the entire crew when he got the kett transponder working correctly. Still, it wasn't much consolation when she had been gone for so long.

He felt the ship lift away from the docks. Ryder would be talking to each of them when their course was set; Jaal tried to calm down so he wouldn't say anything regrettable when she spoke to him. He had not managed to find any calm when she walked into the room; on the contrary, he was remembering the last time they had docked at Nexus and the smile with which she had greeted the turian. She had never yet smiled at him in that manner. So it really wasn't surprising when the first words out of his mouth carried a rather snide tone.

"You had an agreeable time on the station, I trust?"

He was getting better at reading Ryder's expressions; he saw in the sudden lift of her eyebrows that she was surprised. Watching her, he could see the instant her surprise shifted to annoyance.

"Yes, quite, thank you."

Her own tone gave nothing away, as she no doubt intended. Jaal huffed an annoyed breath.

"You cannot expect me to like the fact that you are in a relationship with someone else. You cannot expect that I will accept easily. I am trying to give you the space to decide what you feel between us, but it is not easy for me."

As he scowled at her, he watched her sigh. Her expression softened, not annoyed now, but something that seemed almost sad.

"Then you will be relieved to know that I am no longer in a relationship with him. Even before you told me that you are my soulmate, I knew that what Kandros and I were doing was casual. Our trip to Kadara simply clarified that. We did nothing tonight, except talk."

She turned to leave, quietly and without her usual energy; Jaal realized that whatever she had said, she felt the loss of that relationship. He wanted to rejoice that it was over; he wanted to comfort her that she had lost something important. He was pleased for himself, and what this might mean for them; he was saddened for what it would mean for her. Whatever comfort her relationship with Kandros had given her, she wasn't ready to allow hm to provide that for her; she would be feeling the loss of it; she who already carried so much weight on her slender shoulders.

Unable to decide what to say, and unwilling to say the wrong thing and bring her more pain, he remained silent as she walked to the door. When she reached it, she straightened slightly, and turned back; a professional mask had fallen across her features, she showed him the Pathfinder, no trace of Sara remained in her bland expression.

"We'll be at the Archon's location in a few hours. I'm bringing you and Drack with me. Be ready to go."

Pain.

Pain filled him, consumed him. It burned away everything until all that was left was pain.

Hanging motionless, caught in the Archon's trap, Jaal was pain.

He'd thought the nothingness of his soulmate connection had been painful, this was infinitely worse. He'd thought that nothing came through the connection from Sara to him, that had not been the case. Now, with complete silence in his mind for the first time since his fifteenth birthday, it became apparent that there had always been something - some sort of white noise with no meaning, perhaps, but something.

Or it would have been apparent, if he could think of anything besides the pain.

The moshae had always described the breaking of a soulmate connection as a "snap." It was an enormous understatement.

Hanging there, unable to move - unable to do anything about the pain that filled him even if he could have moved - Jaal had no idea how much time passed. He was vaguely aware of Drack talking to SAM, and SAM's calm voice responding. He had no thought for anything except the pain that filled him, consumed him, and ate away at his soul.

Suddenly, he was falling. He landed on his feet, shaking his head in an attempt to think past the pain and regain an awareness of his surroundings.

The effort had some small effect, his vision cleared enough that he could see the room again. Drack was standing to his left, speaking to… Ryder? She was alive. How was that possible?

Jaal stared at her, completely incapable of making sense of what he was seeing. Ryder stood there, alive, and he felt nothing. Nothing but pain.

No connection. Nothing from her to him. Nothing from him to her. He searched within himself frantically where his soulmate connection had been, only to find it gone.

Despair threatened to overwhelm the pain, replace it, and return it stronger than ever.

He had no soulmate connection. He looked at Ryder, hoping desperately to trigger something within himself or within her. Nothing.

Without the connection, he had no way to recognize his soulmate, and the connection had vanished in the instant of her death.

Jaal dropped to the floor, curling in on himself; his weapon dropped from his nerveless fingers, he wrapped his arms around his head.

Sara was there immediately. In an irony he would never be willing to appreciate, she seemed to understand what had happened.

"Jaal? Jaal, are you alright? I'm sorry, I didn't think. I should have warned you." She laughed, a forced sound. "I guess that's proof of that connection you were talking about. It's alright now, though. I know it hurts, but it will pass. And I'm fine."

He shook his head, denying her words, though he couldn't manage to answer her yet. She stayed silent, patient, though he knew time was slipping away from them. Finally, he managed to straighten.

"It will not pass, Pathfinder. The soulmate connection… is gone. I do not know why or what it means, but this is more than just feeling your death."

Her eyes widened, first at his sudden return to formality, then as the meaning of his words penetrated. "I'm… not your soulmate anymore?" At least, he thought wryly, she sounded dismayed at the prospect.

"I do not know. Angara find their soulmates because of the connection. I have never heard of one finding their soulmate without the connection. I will have to speak with the moshae, to find out what this means. But now is not the time. We still have a job to do, do we not? I am recovered, we can move forward."

He picked up his rifle, ignored the hand she held out, and stood on his own. He nodded at her concerned look, and fell into his usual position behind her.

The pain still filled him, but he could think around it for now. The pain still tried to consume him, but he let it take his despair, and focused on the task at hand.

When they returned to the Tempest, the focus of battle left him, and only the pain remained. He hardly knew how he got to the Med Bay, he was only vaguely aware of Ryder giving Kallo orders to make for Aya with all speed.

In any other circumstance, he would have been pleased with Ryder's concerned hovering, would have relished her hand on his shoulder - the first time she had ever touched him of her own accord. But now, he couldn't focus on any of those things.

There was only pain.