Thank you for reading this story! And to answer the question left in the comment, Beca sang the "cup song" to Maddie.
Alright guys, I haven't heard much from anyone the last two chapters so I wrote this in a way that it could be the end of the story if you guys thought it was a good stopping point. HOWEVER, if you guys want more just let me know! I thoroughly enjoy writing these two, though I admit I am a little rusty on Chloe's perspective : /
This chapter is SUPER long comparatively but as a reader of fanfiction I always love long chapters lol ENJOY! :)
After the credits started rolling on the movie, Beca mumbled something about never getting those 90 minutes of her life back and having work to do so that she could get away to her room to clear her head and think. Once inside she closes the door and rests her forehead against it while taking slow deep breaths. She was almost tempted to barricade the door, but whether to keep others out or keep herself in, she wasn't sure. Hell, probably both. If she was on ostrich she'd be neck deep in the sand right now but unfortunately she couldn't do that since oxygen was like a thing that was important to survival, so for now hiding behind the door would have to suffice.
Holy shit. What the hell just happened down there? Beca knows she is not always the most "aware" person when it comes to recognizing the subtle flirtations of others and she knows this because the Bellas never cease to remind or tease their Captain about it. Hell, even Jesse has pointed out how oblivious she can be to other people's flirtatious efforts to capture her attention. But even the habitually-unaware-Beca had to admit that the interactions with Chloe in the last few hours were past the normal flirtatious teasing of her co-captain and inching their way towards outright sexual advances. Not that she was complaining, of course.
Pushing herself away from the door she flops onto her bed and pulls out her laptop, slipping her headphones on. If there is one thing she can count on to clear her mind of all the chaos it is mixing. It's like second nature to her. For as long as she can remember she has always turned to music for solace, for escape, for answers, really whatever she was looking for she could find it in the ebbs and flows of the notes washing over and through her.
Right now she was looking for answers. Answers to questions she has avoided asking for a while now. Years, if she were being honest with herself. She'd spent god knows how long telling herself that these so called "girl crushes" were really just her wanting to be them, not be with them. But given the extent to which she has dwelled on a certain blue-eyed redhead these last few years, there was no denying it had nothing to do with wanting to be her and everything to do with being with her.
In fact, that was one of the main reasons she broke up with Jesse. It just wasn't "right." She knew she loved him, still loves him, but she wasn't in love with him. God, how she hated herself for sounding so cliché. True to form, Jesse supported her decision and even confessed that he had suspected as much for a while. That only served to confuse her more, especially when he added a cryptic "You are in love, it just isn't with me." When she asked what the hell that meant he only shook his head and told her if she really thought about it then she would know exactly what he meant.
He was right. Though it did take some time to work it all out. She had spent all summer and the better part of this year coming to terms with what it all meant. Now she can say with great certainty that she is head over heels for her best friend. With that epiphany came the harsh realization that Chloe, more than likely, did not reciprocate those feelings. Sure Chloe would flirt with her and cuddle and give her random pecks on the cheek or something but that is just who Chloe is. It doesn't mean anything. And this is what she has recited to herself for months each time Chloe's touch lingers just a bit longer than necessary, or when Chloe would cuddle up to her during movie nights, or when she would hug Beca's body flush to her and tuck her face into Beca's neck, breathing deep before placing the lightest of kisses in the junction where her shoulder and neck meet. That's just Chloe.
Today was a different story. She was finding it difficult to explain away Chloe's touches and the way her gaze would fixate on Beca's lips, leaning in like she wanted to kiss Beca. The way Chloe held her during the movie, tracing patterns on her stomach and whispering in her ear how sexy she thought Beca was holding the baby. Yes, these things were becoming impossible to write off as typical Chloe-behavior. But now what? She never considered Chloe could be interested in her as well so she hadn't put much thought into "what if," which is something she currently regrets not doing.
Okay, she is an adult. She can do this. It's just like flirting with a guy, right? God, she hopes so. The idea of Googling "how to hit on women" flitted by and she is ashamed to admit that she actually considered it for a moment before thinking of the horribly awkward, and probably embarrassing, things that would pop up in that search. No, she doesn't need Google. She's got this. She just needs to…be herself. Jesus. The growing amount of clichés in her life right now is mildly depressing.
Having lost herself in the mixes, she was startled to hear a knock on her door a few hours later but was not at all surprised to hear Chloe's voice from the other side of the door. She knew it was only a matter of time before her friend sought her out. Smiling to herself she calls for Chloe to come in and glances up at her when she doesn't move from her spot by the door. "Yes?"
Chloe steps forward, hands clasped in front of her and looks at her with those puppy-dog eyes, "I can't sleep." Well of course she gives a smart-ass response like always but both of them know full well that she was going to let Chloe crawl into bed with her for the night. Chuckling to herself she pulls back the covers in invitation and Chloe lets out a little squeak of delight before crawling in next to her.
They talk for a minute of Beca's insecurities about all that was happening at the moment and, like always, Chloe runs off all of the bad feelings with her usual warmth and support. She finds it truly amazing how sincerely passionate Chloe is about her faith in Beca. Never before had anyone shown her the loyalty and support the way she does. Yes, Jesse was supportive and loving but it's different in a romantic relationship, like it's expected. But Chloe believed in her from the very beginning and her faith in Beca only grew stronger through the years. If she were to think about it she would say that Chloe was more than likely the one person who helped her the most through these years and that she probably…no, definitely couldn't have accomplished all of this without her.
With that she follows Chloe's advice, though declining the offered backrub, and puts her laptop on her nightstand. "What is it with you and backrubs," she laughs before turning off the lamp and scooting down under the covers next to her, facing each other.
"They are fun!" came Chloe's exclamation as if that was all the logic anyone needed.
"Fun for you, or fun for the person getting one?" she teases, quirking an eyebrow.
Chloe's hummed response seemed to vibrate right through her, "Mmmmm both if we're lucky," and the wink and smile that followed sent those vibrations straight to her toes.
Wiggling her toes to shake the sensation, she closes her eyes, shaking her head, "Oh my god."
For the next few moments they lay there in comfortable silence. Which is weird for Beca because she has never had that with anyone else. Sure she had "quiet moments" with Jesse but it was usually because one or both of them were studying or otherwise occupied. They never just lay there looking into each other's eyes like she is doing with Chloe now. It is crazy how intimate this moment felt in spite of the fact that not one part of their bodies were touching each other. No sooner had that thought surfaced that she realized she was quite clearly staring and immediately dropped her gaze, squirming a little. God, she hopes she hadn't been staring too long because that would be extremely embarrassing.
Just then Chloe breaks the silence, drawing her attention back to the face mere inches from her own, "I have a very important question to ask you. It's been on my mind for a while now and I just have to know."
Oh shit. This can't be good. She must have misread Chloe's earlier behavior or done something…wrong? Her heart races in dreaded anticipation, fidgeting nervously with the corner of the pillow case beneath her, "Ugh…yeah…okay. I mean, sure. Yeah. What's—"
She heard Chloe release a long sigh, "What song did you sing to Maddie?"
Her eyes shot up and she felt herself staring bewilderedly at Chloe. Of all the questions she was expecting this was not on her radar. She knew she must look like an idiot, opening and closing her mouth with no sound coming out, before finally asking, "Wait— What?"
"What song did you sing to Maddie to put her to sleep? Was it 'Wheels on the Bus' or 'Itsy Bitsy Spider,' I just need to know." Chloe was not smiling but her eyes were sparkling with silent laughter and Beca was not about to give in to this teasing. Not yet anyways.
Leveling Chloe with what she hoped was a fierce glare, she countered, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Denial. Yes, she was a master at that game!
Her apparently less-than-fierce glare was met only with Chloe's melodic laugh, which never failed to warm the cackles of her heart. Which she would adamantly deny if she were ever asked directly.
She felt her lips trying to betray her with a smile at Chloe's teasing incredulity, "No? You don't have any idea, huh?"
Crossing her arms at her chest she continues feigning ignorance, adding a few scoffs for good measure. But Chloe was not one to give up easily, her hand reaching out to shake Beca at the hip with a whine, "Aww, come on Becs, please!"
Beca fought the warm tingling sensation the hand on her hip was causing and knowing that if she was going to keep up her resistance she had to look away from those baby blue puppy-dog eyes. Be strong, Beca, be strong. "I am not having this conversation."
The chess match continues as she sees in her peripheral Chloe tapping her chin, humming like she is contemplating something but Beca knows better and braces for the next wave of teasing. "Was it 'Let It Go'?"
Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, she points towards the door over Chloe's shoulder and starts to roll over, away from the smiling redhead, "Go to your room."
They both know it is an idle command and Chloe chuckles as she slips the hand at her hip around to her back to hold her in place, "Okay, okay, fine."
Beca gives her a wary look, not sure if she should accept such a quick defeat or if there was more teasing on the tip of her tongue. "I thought you came up here to sleep, not to torture me," raising her eyebrows in question.
Chloe's smirk could, she thought, be described as almost predatory when combined with the sultry look she was giving Beca. "I thought we had agreed that it was not torture?"
She couldn't help the wave of heat that rushed through her body at the memory that reference conjured and without her permission her eyes dropped to Chloe's lips for the briefest of seconds. But she knew Chloe didn't miss it. Chloe doesn't miss anything when it comes to her. "We did not agree to that! That is what you came up with. All on your own I might add," trying to put a little bravado in her voice.
Chloe just nodded slowly, pursing her lips, but the smile she was trying to hide was crinkling her eyes, "Ah, yes. I pulled that conclusion out of thin air."
Beca nodded firmly, "Exactly."
"Hmmm okay," Chloe responded with a slow nod as if conceding but the laughter she was keeping in was quite clearly just under the surface causing her crystal blue eyes to sparkle.
She felt Chloe start to remove her arm from around her waist, immediately missing the warmth of her touch. But she didn't have to miss it for long because Chloe was reaching around to trace the freckle over Beca's left breast and she couldn't help the squeak that left her lips, "Dude!" Glancing down at the finger on her chest and back up to the mischievous grin on Chloe's face and her eyes widened, "Do you always go around touching other people's boobs?"
"Only the ones I like," Chloe just smiles and winks. "You know, I meant what I said at the camp that night." Beca just stared at her, not knowing where she was going with this. "About not doing enough experimenting in college." Then it clicked and she felt recognition dawn across her face, followed swiftly by a blush creeping up her neck. Chloe just smiled to softly before continuing. "There is still a little time left before we graduate…" letting the sentence hang between them as Chloe ran her finger from the freckle above one breast, down the collar of the shirt and over the other breast.
Beca knows how to talk. She really does. In, fact she would even go so far as to call herself a "wordsmith" when it came to sarcastic quips. But right now? Right now she is finding it nearly impossible to form actual words, let alone stringing a sentence together. "Umm… Well…I mean—" came her stammering reply, "Shou— shouldn't you be talking to like CR? Or…or Stacie or…something?"
"Why would I when I've already got a head start with you?" Chloe smiles wide at the lack
of words Beca is able to form, and she can feel her mouth just kind of hanging open a bit in shock, but it seems she is powerless to close it. "I mean, I've already been naked in the shower with you, and what's a little experimenting among friends?" finished Chloe.
And with that Chloe took the opportunity to take advantage of Beca's immobility to lean in and plant a quick kiss to her slightly parted lips before rolling over onto her other side with a laugh.
Every single nerve-ending in her body was shooting off sparks and addling her brain. It was a good ten seconds before Beca could even process what just happened, "Dude!"
Chloe's shoulders shook with laughter and Beca leveled one of her more serious glares at the back of her head, though it obviously went unnoticed. Just then Chloe lifted her arm up to hover over herself a bit and Beca stared at it in confusion, brow furrowed. "What is this? Some strange Bella salute I don't know about?"
"No, you weirdo. Give me your hand," came Chloe's chuckle and after a few seconds of Beca not obeying Chloe snapped her fingers and smacked her hip.
Beca's confusion only grew but she warily lifted her own arm and let her hand hover over Chloe's hip where Chloe then took it in her own and wrapped it around her waist. "What are you doing?"
It was almost like she could feel Chloe's eye roll, "Cuddling. It helps me sleep." Beca grumbled under her breath but it did not go unnoticed. "It's either this or you can sing me to sleep."
"Oh my God." With that Beca made to pull her arm back and roll away but Chloe was quick to tighten her grip on her hand and reaches her leg back to wrap around Beca's calf, pulling it between her own and effectively pulling Beca closer against her.
The front of her body was now forcibly half wrapped around Chloe's body, "This like a hostile take over. Like my rights have been violated."
She felt more than heard Chloe's hummed response as it vibrated against her, "You have not been violated…yet."
Beca's mouth went instantly dry and she was sure that her heart rate doubled, though she isn't sure if it was fear or hope that fueled it. "Yet?" came her choked reply and she coughed to try and hide the shrill she thought she heard in her voice.
"I promise not to violate you unless you want me to," said Chloe, a smile in her voice to which Beca rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly. Then she could feel Chloe leaning back into her and if she didn't know better she would say that Chloe had just rocked her hips back a bit into her as she spoke over her shoulder to Beca. "Do you want me to?"
And even though it was said in Chloe's usual flirty tone, Beca thought that she heard a hint of self-consciousness or maybe anxiety? This was unusual from Chloe but right now her senses were on overload and she was focused more on trying to maintain some semblance of composure instead of just expressing herself through guttural noises like she was currently.
Not sure how she should respond to that question she started to shift around a bit in order to find a comfortable position but was struggling. "I—ugh…. I don't know what…" she growled out a frustrated sigh, "I don't know what to do with this arm!"
Chloe let out a small laugh before taking pity on her. "Here," lifting her head up and reaching underneath her head for Beca's arm, pulling it and folding it under the pillow beneath her head, "is that better?"
Beca nodded silently behind her, their bodies now flush enough for Chloe to feel it. Which she was thankful for because right now she didn't know if speech was possible with Chloe's hand curled with hers under the pillow, her face resting with her chin on Chloe's shoulder, her other arm was being held tight to Chloe's chest with Beca's hand in hers. It was all Beca could do just to breath, hoping that the shallow breaths she was taking and the rapid erratic heartbeat was going unnoticed by the woman in her arms.
If Chloe did notice she wasn't saying anything, to which Beca was eternally grateful for because she doesn't know if she would be able to withstand anymore flirting or teasing at the moment.
With that Chloe settles against her and she settles herself, Chloe's shampoo chasing her into a blissful sleep while thinking about how surprisingly comfortable she feels given her current situation.
Beca was being pulled awake by some incessant noise that seemed so far yet close at the same time. It sounded like…birds? She let consciousness creep in slowly as she searched around her mind to see if she had any reason to be up early today. She finally realized it was Saturday and Bella practice wasn't until 2 o'clock that afternoon. Now she was awake enough to try and take in her surroundings without actually opening her eyes because if she opened them then she would have to greet the light and well she just was not ready for light at the moment.
She started with where her body was, how she was lying, when it registered that she was not alone. There was someone warm against her and she could hear their heartbeat, feel it on her cheek. She was lying on a shoulder, a breast beneath Beca's cheek. Her hand was resting on a stomach just under the ribs and her leg was bent, thrown over their pelvic area with her foot tucked between two toned legs.
She sighed at the warmth and softness, lightly flexing her muscles in a small stretch and halts immediately as she opens her eyes and registers the position of not only her own body but that of the one beneath her as well. Chloe. Chloe's arm is wrapped around her, her hand curved around her under the ribs holding her close and Chloe's other hand lying on her thigh just above her knee, holding it in place against her.
Beca just knew her whole body had to be blushing right now. What the hell happened last night? She tried desperately to put together the events of last night trying to figure out the last thing she remembered. Ah, yes. Chloe and she had been cuddling and they must have fallen asleep before separating.
She considers the fact that she should probably move now that she is consciously aware of her intimate position. That's the right thing to do, she's sure of it. But then again, she doesn't want to wake Chloe. But just as quickly as she thinks it, she knows it's just an excuse. With a sigh she slowly tries to extricate herself from their current embrace and cursing herself silently for this stupid attempt at nobility.
Her thoughts are interrupted by a voice husky with lack of use, "Quit over-thinking and go back to sleep." The sound startled her, causing her to jerk slightly against Chloe who then eased her comment with a soft caress to her thigh with her thumb and gently tightening her grip around Beca's back.
Beca closed her eyes, trying to relax against Chloe, hoping she didn't feel the racing of her heart but fairly certain she could. She noticed Chloe was now making slow circles with her thumbs against the few bottom ribs and twitched forward at the tickling sensation it created. Lifting the hand that lay between them, she reaches around to grab at the offending fingers, grasping them in her own.
"If you want me to go back to sleep then you need to not tickle me," Beca warned in a soft tone, continuing her hold on Chloe's hand.
She could feel the silent chuckle reverberate in Chloe's chest beneath her cheek, "Fair enough." Then the fingers she was gripping were twisting around to interlock with her own and she could have sworn her heart did an actual somersault in her chest.
Eyes still closed, as if it somehow meant that if she couldn't see then neither could Chloe… and alright there's no logic in that unless you're a two year old but that's irrelevant… she drags the hand lying on Chloe's chest around to the underside of her ribs behind her back and braved a gentle squeeze. Chloe let out a sigh of contentment and though she's fairly sure that it is scientifically impossible for a whole body to smile she was certain that Chloe's entire body was beaming beneath her. That thought alone brought a cheesy grin to her own lips and just as she was about to fall back to sleep she could have sworn she felt soft lips ghost across her forehead but she didn't dare open her eyes to check.