Ch. 9

Lying on the couch in the loft after returning from Wyndemere, Dante was feeling a keen sense of loss. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally. He and Lulu realized they were at an impasse; there didn't seem to be any way to get around it. Her responsibility in this mess was minimal in her eyes, and he just didn't see it that way. They also realized there was no point in discussing it further. Dante was shown to the nursery where he was able to spend a few minutes with Rocco before his son's bedtime. He got the chance to tuck him in and give him a good night kiss. He had a hard time forcing himself to walk away from Rocco, but for now, it was for the best. After he and Lulu had worked out custody… He couldn't even believe that was something he had to think about—shared custody of his child.

He hugged one of the sofa pillows for comfort but he still couldn't sleep. For the last few days, he found himself avoiding the bed altogether. Which was crazy. He'd been back in it since he and Valerie had—he put a halt to that thought. Ever since Lulu found out about what he and Valerie had done, though, he'd been unable to sleep in the bed. Guilty conscience or something else?

He continued to toss to and fro on the couch. He stared up at the ceiling. He turned on the television—turned it off again. Nothing he did could settle him. Finally, he looked down at his cell phone, and made a decision.

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When Valerie realized after two hours of restlessness that she wasn't going to get the good night's sleep she so craved, she allowed herself to have one shot glass of brandy, then she climbed back into bed with one of her Victorian melodramas. She thought she was reading but she must have been dozing off because what brought her back to full awareness was her cell phone buzzing. She picked it up and looked at the screen. It was a text from Dante.

D: Hey, Val. U awake?

Valerie wondered if she should ignore it and let him think she was indeed asleep. Then she thought of all the ways he had been there for her, and if he was reaching out, there must be a reason for it.

V: Yeah. Y r u still up?

D: Can't sleep. Jus got back frm Spoon Isl.

V: Oh. U ok?

D: Not really. Lulu n I talked 2nite.

V: How'd that go?

D: We're over. Gonna split up.

V: I'm sorry

D: Really?

V: Yes. I no u love her

D: Yeah. Luv's not always enuf, tho, is it?

V: Sumtimes no. It's hard..

D: Most worried 4 Rocco. Not fair 2 him.

V: He'll b ok. We only had 1 parent at home-we're ok.

D: True

V: It's good he's young

D: Yeah. He won't remember

Valerie had more that she wanted to say but it was hard for her to put her thoughts in text form. She hesitated for a moment, and then decided to call him. "Hey," Dante said, "I was fine with the texting. You didn't have to call me."

"I wanted to call you. Talking about things like this through texts is difficult. How are you, really?"

"I really don't know. I think we're making the right choice, the best one for us right now. But I never thought in a million years I'd be making this kind of decision. I'm so hurt for Rocco's sake. I wanted him to have a two-parent home, something I never had. I really wanted him to have a solid home life."

"Dante, we had a solid home life, even though it was just us and our moms. Even if you and Lulu aren't living together, you both will make sure Rocco doesn't miss out on having two parents in his life. You both want what's best for him. That makes him luckier than most. You're a good dad. As long as you two don't let him become a pawn in a nasty divorce, he should be fine."

"Thanks for that. I know you're right—eventually, it'll be ok. I'm just disappointed for him."

"What else is on your mind?"

"I never thought I'd ever be the kind of man who could hurt Lulu the way I did. It's all so messed up. She refuses to take any ownership for her part in all this."

"What do you mean? She told you she was sorry she lied, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did, but she thinks that if I hadn't cheated on her, we'd still be ok. We wouldn't be, though. I still can't get over how she lied to my face! She's actually left me more than once over secrets I kept from her for other people, but it was ok for her to lie to me. And the real, to-the-gut reason she was willing to believe I couldn't be trusted with her brother's life, I'll never know. We're both very angry with each other."

"Anger fades, Dante. What's left after the anger passes is what matters, isn't it?"

"The bottom line is, in my opinion, she set this all in motion when she lied to me. What I did wasn't right, but what she did wasn't right, either. As long as she refuses to own that, there's no point-" Dante paused for a minute and thought about what he was really doing, what he was saying, and to whom. "Hey, is it ok that I'm talking to you about all this? I just started in without thinking about how you might feel hearing it-"

"Before anything else, we're friends, aren't we? If I didn't want to hear it, I wouldn't have answered your text. And I know you feel that what we did was a mistake, one you're sorry for-"

"I am sorry. I should be sorry. Part of me is sorry, but another part of me—I don't know." Valerie decided to let what he said pass because she didn't know how to respond. What exactly was he saying?

Dante paused for a moment when he realized she didn't acknowledge his last comment and apparently wasn't planning to. He went on, "What were you doing when I texted you? Why weren't you sleeping?"

"I just couldn't sleep—my brain wouldn't shut off. I was reading a book. At least, I think I was reading. I may have been nodding off. I'm still not sure," she laughed.

"So I woke you up? I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep myself, and I know sometimes you have a hard time sleeping, too, so I took a chance that you'd still be awake. I shouldn't have bothered you…"

"Dante, don't apologize, ok? I told you, I had the choice to ignore you if I didn't want to be bothered. You've supported me so many times that I don't have any problem returning the favor for a change. We insomniacs have to stick together, right?" Her voice drifted off, and Dante realized she was beginning to fall asleep even while talking to him. He chuckled softly. At least this conversation had done someone besides him some good. He tried to get her attention by calling her name. "Val? Hey, Val?" She awoke instantly, apologetically murmuring, "Oh, Dante, I drifted off—I'm sorry! What were you saying? I missed the last part."

"There was no last part. I stopped talking because you fell asleep."

"Oops. Go ahead and finish what you were going to say."

"No need. Listen, there's only a few hours left before we both have to be at work. You go back to sleep, and I'll see you in the morning."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, sleepyhead. I'll see you in the morning. And Val?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"Any time. I mean that."

"I know you do. Back atcha."

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The next morning, Dante and his partner were sitting in Dante's car on a stakeout on the lower south side of Port Charles. A suspect in a robbery was reported to be hanging out in this particular pool hall, so Dante and Nathan were waiting to see if he would show up there. After two hours of sitting still, Dante began getting restless. "Are you sure," he finally asked his partner, "this is the right place? I have a feeling you were misled. Joey Robbs is probably long gone, and we're wasting our time here." Joe "Joey Robbs" Scartone was a well-known "alleged" robber who had been frustrating the PCPD for years with his ability to evade arrest.

"Scribbs is usually pretty accurate about what's going on down here. If he says Robbs has been hanging around here, he has been." Scribbs was a panhandler who, according to him, used to be a writer in his former life. Now he was the eyes and ears of all happenings on the lower south side of town, and one of Nathan's snitches. Nathan looked at Dante with puzzlement and asked, "What's up with you? I know stakeouts are the worst, but if we end up catching sight of Robbs, it'll be worth it. You're not usually so antsy, though."

Dante slouched down in his seat before running his hands over his face and sighing, "Another sleepless night. I need some more coffee, but I've been peeing like a racehorse all day. I'm beat, and the day isn't even half over."

"So who are you losing sleep over? Lulu or Valerie?"

"Ah, man, don't say it like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm playin' them off against each other or something! It's not like that at all!"

"Dude, I'M not the one saying it is! All I did was ask a question. You're the one going off the deep end and assuming I meant something I didn't mean."

"You're right. Sorry. I talked to Lulu yesterday. We pretty much admitted we're over. We're gonna make an appointment with a divorce mediator. Yep. Pretty much a done deal. Still can't believe it, though."

"Man, I'm sorry. Are you seriously saying there's no way to work this out? No way to save it? What you guys have-"

"What we have is over. We screwed it up together, but it depends on who you ask just where the actual fault lies. She can't see my side of things. I can see hers, but I'm not going to be the only one bending. Not this time. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one who compromises in our relationship."

"No relationship is ever a one-way street, Dante. You know that. I'm sure she's compromised plenty of times."

"Sure, ok. But over the big stuff, the junk that really matters? I beg, she relents and grants me her forgiveness. I'm tired of it. Of course she doesn't see it that way, but that's the way I feel. I was just telling Val-"

"Yeah, I was wondering when she was gonna show up-"

"Meanin' what?"

"Look, I'm just saying if you want to save your marriage, keeping Valerie on the line, even as a friend, isn't gonna help. That's all."

"Well I'll tell you one thing—Rocco and Valerie are the only ones keeping me grounded right now. She's been a source of support for me, that's for sure."

"Not to mention the reason you're in this mess in the first place."

"Look! Whose side are you on, anyway? Valerie isn't the reason for this mess! I'm the reason! Lulu's the reason! Valerie's just incidental-"

"She's more than that, or else you wouldn't be all messed up over her."

"Whatever. All I'm sayin' is my wife lied to me and kicked off all this crap. Valerie and I—hell, I don't know." Dante closed his eyes and leaned his head against the car window. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore, ok? Just keep an eye out for Robbs. I'm gonna knock off for a minute." He was tired, true, but he also wasn't quite ready to face the hard question about what Valerie really meant to him. Because, he finally admitted to himself, she was beginning to mean more and more by the day…

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Lulu dropped Rocco off at his daycare and then headed for the PCPD that morning. She knew Dante had mentioned talking to a divorce mediator but she, after rethinking all night long, wasn't totally sure she was ready to give up on her marriage. What she had done in lying to Dante was wrong, but what he did was way worse. She thought that maybe with time, though, she could forgive him for sleeping with her cousin. Maybe they really should try to talk to a counselor first. She had come to that decision last night, and she wanted to see if he might have come to a similar conclusion. She entered the station and was about to ask the duty officer where Dante was when she and Valerie made eye contact. She expected Val to look away guiltily like she had been doing lately whenever they saw each other, but Val stared her down. This, against her will, began to make her blood boil. The haughty little witch, she thought, and approached her cousin, saying, "Everywhere I go! There's really no escaping you, is there?"

"Not here at least, since this is where I work. I guess you forgot that."

"Yes, you made sure of that, didn't you? Because this was the only place in all of Port Charles where you could find a job! All part of your stalking plan to get close to my husband, right?"

"That's right, Lulu. I actually created the position, fired the person who had the job before me, then interviewed and hired myself. All to be near Dante. Had nothing to do with the fact that I have a degree in Criminology and needed a job. Nope, all part of my wicked plan."

"I wouldn't put it past you, you little tramp! I think you would have done-"

"What's going on here?" Jordan approached the two women as she walked from the hallway to the squad room. "I can hear you two all the way down the hall."

Lulu tried to compose herself and answered first. "I just came here to see my husband, but this bi-"

Jordan cut her off mid-speech. "Ok, look, Dante isn't here right now, he's on a stakeout. You're welcome to sit quietly at his desk and wait, or you can leave. What you can't do is come into my station and start harassing my people. This is a place of business. I don't think your husband would appreciate hearing that you came into his place of work and caused a scene, do you, Mrs. Falconeri? Let's all behave like adults here. Valerie, have you sent the memorandum I asked you to type up and send to the Mayor yet?"

"I'm working on that now, Commish. But I did want to consult you about something you wanted mentioned-"

"Fine. Walk with me." Jordan inclined her head in Lulu's direction. "Mrs. Falconeri." She and Valerie walked down the hall together.

Lulu was embarrassed when she realized that not only had she been dismissed, but several of the officers in the squad room were studiously avoiding her gaze. Dante was going to be pissed when he heard about this, which wouldn't help her cause at all. Gathering what was left of her dignity, she left the station after deciding to speak to Dante in a more private setting.

When they were out of earshot, Jordan asked Val, "What did you want to clarify with me?" "Nothing really," Val answered, "I just wanted to thank you for running interference with Lulu." "You're welcome. She can't go after her husband like that but she feels safe going after you. I don't like that. If she starts making a habit of that whenever she comes here, let me know." "Thanks again, Commish. I appreciate the backup," Val replied gratefully. It was good to know not everyone in town thought she was a home-wrecking tramp…

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