Hi guys! I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with this. It's gonna get darker and sweeter, but I hope you enjoy it as much.
Happy reading!
Waking up next to Kurt turned out to be unexpectedly easy for Sebastian. Kurt looked even more harmless when he was sleeping, which was a reminder for Sebastian that there was nothing to fear here, but a lot to win.
For starters, there was his own mood. Sebastian was feeling so rested and light he could just about handle the storm of a thousand Santanas and beat them all. Seriously, he felt like a chilly Superman right now. Like suddenly the world was on his side and there was no more pain in store for him.
All the heartbreak, all the sorrow seemed so far away right now... Only last night he had cried like a baby, begging for Kurt to purge Julie out of his mind, and yet it all seemed like a distant dream. He felt somewhat healed already.
And he hadn't lied to Kurt. He had no intention to be a careless jerk to the kid anymore. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to take what he needed from Kurt. And what he needed from Kurt was mainly physical. Human warmth, nice rest, and maybe some sex.
Sebastian observed the boy: Kurt looked smart enough to look out for himself, didn't he? Sebastian simply needed to make sure the terms were clear: he would be as selfish as Kurt let him be. Because the price to pay was harmless; amusing, even: indulging Kurt's silly crush.
Well, maybe a little bit of reality would do good to Kurt: soon enough the boy would realize crushes ran out of charm once they were fulfilled. Fantasies were one thing, and reality another. When reality set in, even sex lost appeal.
Kurt suddenly opened up one eye but didn't quite focus. Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle. Fun time, he thought, and decided to tease Kurt.
"Morning, Kurt" he climbed on top of the boy and closed his lips over Kurt's flushed neck. Kurt fidgeted a little and opened both eyes, still severely asleep.
Sebastian kissed lower and made it wetter, adding some tongue on Kurt's chest. His lower abdomen crashed with Kurt's then, and Sebastian kept adjusting until his crotch crashed with Kurt's as well, sending chills all over his body.
Kurt seemed too asleep to even react, but Sebastian wouldn't give him time to panic.
"You know how I like to start my mornings?" He whispered on Kurt's ear, biting the earlobe just slightly. "Easing my hard-on."
Kurt's pupils tickled, and his body started to awake. The boy pushed Sebastian away just an inch. "What?" He asked, more nervous than dubious. "Now?"
Sebastian nodded, cutting the distance. He placed his hand under Kurt's pajamas and felt his pale belly. It was so soft…
Kurt's breathing got louder, which Sebastian didn't miss. He slid his hand under the elastic of Kurt's pants and went down on his thigh, back and forth, until he was able to take a grab on Kurt's butt.
Kurt still seemed a little inhibited, so Sebastian rubbed himself against him and reminded Kurt their genitals were pressed together.
"Oh" Kurt blushed, his hands timidly taking a hold on Sebastian's arms, "can you do that again?"
Sebastian couldn't spare him a smirk. Of course he could. Gladly so. Sebastian tried to thrust against Kurt's underwear and the boy whimpered a little. He repeated the movement again and again.
"If this feels good… Imagine when it's for real" Sebastian teased, grabbing Kurt's underwear with determination. He was really tempted to pull it down, but had to remind himself he was only teasing Kurt, for some stupid reason.
"We can do it if you want to" Kurt rushed to assure him. He obviously didn't want Sebastian to think he wouldn't give him what he wanted, which made Sebastian's stomach twirled.
He observed the boy. Fuck, Sebastian thought. He was horny. He wanted to satisfy his own whims and needs. And last night, Kurt assured him he could take whatever he wanted from him. But how twisted was that? Was Sebastian that kind of person? There was this power dynamic that made it all the more hot, and he wasn't sure how far he wanted to go with that.
"What do you want to do?" Sebastian asked instead, trying to take his mind of his own thoughts.
Kurt seemed insecure. He raised his gaze to meet Sebastian's, but lowered it right after. "I don't know" he smiled apologetically, "I mean I can see that you want this, and I want it too" he explained, then his hand went down on Sebastian's torso and caressed his sides. Sebastian couldn't help but notice that there was more affection than lust in that gesture.
"So you just wanna do whatever I wanna do, right?" Sebastian picked up. Kurt looked slightly embarrassed, so he planted a kiss on his rosy cheek. "That's okay, Kurt."
"Don't patronize me..." Kurt looked away, and Sebastian noticed his gesture had toughened up.
"I like it when you get feisty" Sebastian said, not just to clear the air, but to provoke him.
Kurt gave him a sarcastic smile. "You think you've got me all figured out, don't you?"
Sebastian contained a chuckle. Well, yes, but that wasn't a valid answer. He needed to be careful with his words now. He had told the boy before that he wasn't much of a mystery. And there was no need for Kurt's pride to suffer again.
"Well, there's an easy solution" Sebastian bumped his hips playfully against Kurt's, to catch his attention. "Tell me what you want, then."
Kurt gave him a determined look, even though he was still blushing. "I want to please you. There's a-a difference" he stuttered.
Sebastian didn't see that coming, and couldn't help but to cocky up. "There is?" He smirked and thrust a thigh between Kurt's, prepared to graze Kurt's crotch with his knee if the boy kept doing that well.
"Well- yeah" Kurt maintained his resolution, and looked very cute while doing so. "It's not like I'm your puppy, following you around and taking whatever bone you throw me" he scoffed, dignified. "I- I make the active choice to take care of you and… satisfy you" he looked away, his tone really coy at the end.
Sebastian kissed him impulsively. God, it felt good kissing this boy; and teasing, and provoking him until he blushed.
Okay, so maybe Sebastian had lied to Kurt a little: he had always been a jerk. He had never had the easiest temper or disposition, not even with Julie. And it wasn't like Julie was exactly easy on him either. She was as harsh, as selfish and spoiled, and Sebastian used to think that was why they worked. And now this, having someone so actively wanting to be good to him… It was too good for own his ego.
"Then do it" Sebastian exhaled between accelerated breaths. His hands were pulling down his own underwear now, and there was no stopping that. Next, was Kurt's pajama. "Satisfy me, Kurt" he said with an authoritarian tone. He wanted to command now, not to beg anymore.
Sebastian rolled down and dragged Kurt along. "These needs to go" he said playfully while thrusting his hands under Kurt's boxers, "okay?"
Kurt seemed a little inexperienced with the speed of it all, but his eagerness to be helpful made up for it. The boy pulled down his boxers and lay naked beside Sebastian, uncertain.
Sebastian put some distance between them and took a hold on his own erection. He started stroking himself as he stared at Kurt: his marked neck, his soft and round clavicles, his firm belly, his pleasant cock and his long thighs… then went back to Kurt's eyes, so the boy wouldn't forget it was him he was jerking off to.
Kurt regarded him somewhat bewildered at first, then self-conscious. "Can I do anything to help?" He asked, half joking, half self-aware.
Sebastian was at the edge of moaning. I could come just by looking at you, he thought, all heated up. But the offer was too tempting, so he nodded.
Kurt came closer, visibly glad that the touching-myself-looking-at-you was over.
They shared a couple of slow, wet kisses and Sebastian's hands left his erection so they could pull at Kurt's hair instead. He was trying to decide between giving commands again or asking nicely, but being a jerk just came so natural to him…
"Take care of this…" he said, placing Kurt's hand on his cock, "with your mouth."
He was pushing Kurt down to his knees somewhat roughly, when he took in the boy's expression. Kurt looked taken aback. Uncomfortable, even.
"I mean- if you want to" Sebastian tried to fix it. "I would love that, if you wanted to..."
"I could do that" Kurt said, but he seemed a little hurt. "Just- I don't know, I didn't see the pushing coming, it made me feel..." he babbled, confused.
Sebastian sighed and faced the ceiling. He felt guilty, but also frustrated that his erection wasn't getting any relief.
"Sebastian… maybe I didn't express myself correctly" Kurt started again, nervously. "Look, I'm just feeling like- when I said I wanted to plea-"
Sebastian's eyes fixated on Kurt's, somewhat coldly. For real?
"You've got to be kidding me" Sebastian couldn't help but scoff.
Kurt sat up and gave him a fierce look. "What?"
Sebastian sat up as well, because he was feeling just as annoyed. "Kurt" he stated harshly. "I'm freaking horny here" he pointed at his erection, impatiently, "You think now it's the time to pause and talk? About your feelings?"
Kurt looked completely outraged and hurt: "That's not what I- God,you're such a gigantic jerk!"
"Oh yeah?" Sebastian threw him a pillow, "well, newsflash, kid: I've always been a jerk!" He fought back.
Kurt threw him back the pillow, and got out of bed. "Well you can take care of that yourself, asshole!"
"Damn right I can" Sebastian bit back, "watch me" he got up as well, then raged towards Kurt and pinned him against the nearest wall with an arm. With his free hand, he started stroking his cock again, faster this time.
"What the hell you think you're doing?" Kurt asked, perplexed, but didn't try to liberate himself.
Sebastian studied him dubiously. Kurt could easily escape, he was not trapped and Sebastian was not making any pressure. But the boy stood there, so Sebastian came a little bit closer.
"I'm not leaving until I'm done with this" Sebastian defended, feeling somewhat childish, inadequate and stupid all at once. "You don't need to touch me, just shut up and let me finish."
Sebastian couldn't really focus on anything with Kurt giving him that look. The boy seemed shocked but also slightly drawn. He kept looking away, then peeking discreetly at Sebastian's clumsy handjob. Sebastian tried to only look at Kurt's amazing arms and torso, but his eyes kept searching for Kurt's for some reason.
The silence got unexpectedly intimate, their breaths being the only sound now and the only proof that they were still fighting. Fighting to keep their cools, because Sebastian reckoned Kurt's breathing was just as agitated as his.
"I'm close" Sebastian panted, as if he needed to brief Kurt on the state of things.
Kurt tried to scoff, dignified, but it wasn't entirely believable. "I don't wanna know."
"Yes, you do" Sebastian argued, studying Kurt with intrigue, but Kurt wouldn't return the look. "Look at me" he cupped Kurt's cheek with his free hand, "if you can handle this level of fucked up, then I think we're gonna do just fine."
/
"If you can handle this level of fucked up, then I think we're gonna do just fine."
Kurt was feeling really conflicted. This was a Sebastian he didn't know how to handle. He was selfish, and dirty, and his only goal seemed to be satisfying his physical needs.
Yet the way he was looking at him, right into Kurt's eyes, while he stroked himself with his hand... It was so intense Kurt couldn't stop watching even if he wanted to. He was mad at Sebastian for being a jerk, but the proximity felt really intimate, which made no sense. He felt repelled and allured towards Sebastian in equal measure. He could not believe there had been a moment when he had felt happy that Sebastian wanted him. Now, it scared the shit out of him.
"You're doing great" Sebastian whispered on his ear, making him shiver, "you're holding up real great, petit."
If by holding up you mean watching you, then yeah, Kurt thought, feeling a little bit dirty himself. These kind of emotions he wasn't used to handle. When he liked someone, everything tended to be pretty platonic and happy-ending-like in his imagination. He would have never fantasized about standing still while Sebastian jerked off against his leg, thank-you.
And yet he was enjoying it. Probably, because Sebastian was no longer a fantasy. He was very real. And that came with some risks, like facing the fact that there was some twisted side inside of Kurt that liked what he was seeing. Kurt imagined it was human nature. But it was striking him with the strength of a thunder.
"Not really" Kurt couldn't help but argue, because he was feeling turned on as well, just not brave enough to do something about it. It would be like rewarding Sebastian's bad behavior.
"You are" Sebastian insisted, then kissed all over Kurt's temples and cheeks, then his chin, then his neck...
"I am?" Kurt repeated like a dummy. He was letting himself go and it was hard to control it.
"You are. You feel great..." Sebastian exhaled as his body wrapped over Kurt's and the stroking got softer.
Kurt pulled back to regard Sebastian and their gazes met.
"Let me" Kurt heard himself say, impulsively, and got down on his knees while he took a hold on Sebastian's erection. He was suddenly determined to do what Sebastian had wanted from the start, to suck him off. It scared him, this weird impulse to please Sebastian.
Sebastian regarded him bewildered (an image Kurt took to heart) and of course did not try to stop him.
Kurt felt conflicted for a minute. He kind of expected Sebastian to double check and ask whether he was sure he wanted to do that, but Sebastian never did, which only made Kurt feel more stupid, because it was his own decision if he wanted to have sex of any kind, oral or other. He realized then, he might as well stop expecting Sebastian to be thoughtful, because he just wasn't.
Take it or leave it for what he is, Kurt figured.
He felt a hand on his head then and looked up to see Sebastian observing him. He was stroking Kurt's hair, in a twisted loving way.
"You okay down there?" He asked, with a smirk that wasn't as cocky as usual, mostly intrigued.
Come on, Kurt. It's not that big of a deal! Kurt tried to encourage himself, but he couldn't do it. It was like being twelve and watching your father's beers on the fridge. Just because you could grab one, didn't mean you were ready to have it.
"Upsy, daisy" Sebastian didn't wait for Kurt to make a move; he took a hold on his arms and helped him get up, with an honest smile. Kurt met his eyes with embarrassment (he had failed his mission, after all), but Sebastian quickly kissed him on the lips, tenderly. "You don't have to do anything, you know that?"
A few more wet kisses after, Sebastian finally came on Kurt's leg, which felt warm and welcome for Kurt, after the whole ordeal.
"Stay right there" Sebastian asked him before going to the toilet. He came back with a wet towel and cleaned up the cum on Kurt, which took him by surprise.
Kurt picked up his underwear and put it on right after, then sat on the bed and rested the weight of his head on his hands.
"What are you thinking?" Sebastian asked. He was standing there, still naked, like he didn't know what to do with himself.
Kurt gave him a confused look. "That I don't get you. Not at all." Then, looking away with resentment, he added: "And I don't get myself either."
Sebastian sat right by his side. "And why is that? What is it you don't get?"
Kurt bit his lip. He wasn't even sure he wanted to share this with Sebastian, of all people. The man had the weird ability to make him feel both somewhat cherished and like a fucktoy at the same time.
"I shouldn't have liked that, what you did right there, but I did" Kurt admitted after a while, which was met with a chuckle.
"And why shouldn't you?" Sebastian asked, surprised, while scratching Kurt's back. "That was hot."
"That was twisted. You're very confusing" Kurt couldn't help but defend.
Sebastian sighed. "Kurt, honey, you need to grow up" he had the nerve to say, gaining himself a glare from Kurt. "People get all kinds of fucked up with sex, it doesn't make you a bad person."
Even though Kurt supposed there had to be some truth to that, he didn't like it.
"Well, you know what to do, then" Kurt said, his voice affected, but still strong enough to sound disappointed and firm, "go find somebody your age."
Sebastian studied him with a defiant look. It was almost like he was testing Kurt. Like saying: "you don't dare say that to my face", though Kurt had actually said it already.
"Touché" Sebastian granted, after a few seconds. "But you really want me to do that?" He asked, still caressing Kurt's skin. "God, I wish I was thirteen again" Sebastian breathed out.
"Hilarious. You know I'm seventeen" Kurt corrected him, annoyed.
"You are" Sebastian conceded, chuckling. "And you know what, I was wrong. Just don't, don't grow up" he combed Kurt's hair with his fingers, "you're still good. People grow up, and that's when we become screwed."
Kurt gave him a side smile, which he shouldn't have, because he couldn't forgive Sebastian that easily.
"You yelled at me for no reason, though" Kurt found the courage to say. "I was not trying to start a deep conversation, just-"
"I hurt your feelings, didn't I?" Sebastian asked, finally, somewhat embarrassed.
"A little bit" Kurt admitted, watching his lap.
"I'm sorry" Sebastian caressed Kurt's temples, looking for his eyes. "I'll make it up to you" he murmured while his hand moved down to stroke the inner side of Kurt's thigh.
Kurt jumped a little. "I don't want that right now, if that's okay."
"Sure" Sebastian said, a little surprised. "What, then?"
Sebastian looked at him and Kurt couldn't say a thing. He just wanted to be the arms Sebastian needed, and for Sebastian to be sweet like last night. He wished Sebastian would hold him, and make him feel like they could be something more than a pastime.
Then Sebastian cut the distance between them and kissed him softly. They kissed until their lips went numb and then Kurt did something crazy and hugged him. Which felt even crazier was that Sebastian returned the hug, and for a moment Kurt finally felt like they were getting closer.
/
Kurt had to admit, if only to himself, that he was feeling much more relaxed now that there was no prospect whatsoever of being near Sebastian. I mean, he was at school now, barely concentrating on Mr. Schuester's History lesson. And, with any luck, he wouldn't be meeting Sebastian in a day or two, because honestly? His stomach needed a break.
The nerves, the expectations and Sebastian's mood swifts were doing a number on Kurt. Not that he was exactly innocent. Be careful what you wish for, Kurt, you might get what you so boldly chased, Sebastian had told him only last night, though it felt like ages ago.
To make things easier, Quinn was giving him the frown, which meant she was too proud to ask but was secretly judging his love life. And Finn was texting him even though he was sitting only two rows behind him.
As soon as the bell rang, both Quinn and Finn were all over him, though they remained silent, unaware they both knew about Sebastian.
"That scarf is not fooling anyone" Quinn simply said, unwrapping it and placing it in a way that actually hid the hickeys.
"Oh my God" Finn cried out, "is this guy a vampire or what?"
Quinn gave him an icy look. "You know about Sebastian?"
Finn frowned. "Who's Sebastian?"
The blonde rolled her eyes, "Nevermind" and grabbed Kurt's hand to take him aside.
"Hey!" Finn protested, following them all the way to the choir room.
"I guess he's not just taking the couch anymore" Quinn bickered.
"Dude, did you get some last night?" Finn asked, excited.
"Wow, what a friend you are, Finn. Are you encouraging this?"
Kurt wanted to slap Quinn for that remark, but then noticed the blonde looked actually concerned more than judgy, and controlled himself.
"He doesn't have to, Quinn" Kurt finally spoke. "And you don't need to talk me out of it anymore" he said, exasperated.
"Hey, what happened?" Finn rushed to sit next to his friend, throwing an arm around his shoulders that felt like home to Kurt. "Did he do anything to you? You want me to punch him?" Kurt noticed Finn looked pissed, and a pissed Finn was a ridiculously goofy thing.
"Dear Lord, no, you don't have to start kicking chairs just yet" Kurt joked, pinching Finn's arm amicably.
Finn scoffed but relaxed a little bit, "Well just say the word, I bet I'm taller than him."
"You are" Kurt assured him, "no one's taller than you. Just like no one's smaller than Rachel."
"Rachel!" Finn got up alarmed. "I totally forgot about her! Shit- don't tell her I just said that. We were supposed to have lunch together so I can go over her Maths notes."
"Well, she'll get over it, Finn, and so will you" Quinn rolled her eyes, "your best friend's in trouble here!"
Finn reluctantly put down his backpack again and sat down. "She'll track me down; I'm just saying."
"She'll be happy no one's stealing her fries" Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Now, you: what the hell happened with Sebastian, and why are you not happy about it?"
"Nothing happened" Kurt defended, then remembered about the hickeys, "I got what I wanted, that's all."
"Yeah, 'cause that right there is the face of someone who got what he wanted" Finn pointed out.
"Perceptive, Finn" Quinn joked, "points to Hufflepuff."
"I'm not a Hufflepuff!" The boy argued, annoyed, "I'm a Ravenclaw, at the very least."
"At the very least?" Kurt asked, intrigued.
"Of course, man. Everybody knows Ravenclaw is the consolation prize. Who doesn't want to be a Gryffindor? Quinn, for instance? A Slytherin, for sure" he added, casting the blonde a scary look.
"Whatever" Quinn scoffed, "back to business. You got what you wanted, and you realized he's troubled, didn't you?"
Kurt gave her the coldest glare he could pull off. He hated that the girl was right, and that she had even warned him about it. It wasn't fair!
"That's one way to put it" he mumbled, annoyed.
"Right, you told me he was depressed" Finn added, "did he break down on you? Give you some waterfalls?"
"Of course not" Kurt snorted, then remembered Sebastian had actually cried last night. "I mean… last night he was a mess, then it got better, and then this morning… he was so happy at first, but then..."
Finn and Quinn observed him expectantly, but Kurt did not know how much to tell them.
"Then he was a mess again. I don't know. He's just a bipolar tool" Kurt said and felt guilty right after, because he didn't really think that about Sebastian. "It's just that one minute he's so sweet, and the next one he's so selfish."
"Well, you knew what you were getting into" Quinn stated, as if that could help. "Or what, did he make you any promises?" She asked, sarcastically.
"Not really" Kurt admitted and suffered the painful look of Finn, who looked so sorry it was ridiculous. "I'm okay, Finn, really. He likes me, that much he told me."
"But is that enough?" Quinn asked, not intentionally hurtful but… "I mean, you just want him to like you? 'Cause a relationship is a little bit more than that."
"I know what a relationship is like" Kurt shook his head, annoyed. "Look, I just want to help him. He needs me now, okay?"
"He didn't need you at first" Quinn pointed out, "you created this situation. I told you he's a grown man, Kurt, he can take care of himself just fine."
"Quinn, come on" Finn interfered, probably because he hadn't endured as much as the girl had. "We all need a little help to get us through things. Maybe he's got nobody besides Kurt."
"He's got a friend" Kurt defended, just so they stopped making assumptions that Sebastian was a recluse loner, "but it's kind of twisted."
"Twisted how?" Both Quinn and Finn asked.
"They were a couple of three" Kurt explained, because he had been dying to share that gossip since he first learned it from Brittany, weeks before he even met Sebastian. "The girl that passed away, Sebastian and this other girl, Santana, who's now his friend."
"Wow, man!" Finn tried to fist bump Kurt, but Kurt didn't return it. "That's so sick" he looked so stupidly happy, "way to go, bro."
"Finn, it's not me who got a three way" Kurt snorted.
"Still" Finn grinned, "I'm proud of you."
Quinn made a disgusted face, "You're so simple."
"Maybe, but I want to know this guy" Finn said, picking up his backpack, "he could give me a tip or two to convince Rachel..."
"Yeah, keep dreaming" Quinn chuckled. "Hey, where are you going?"
"I gotta tell Puck" Finn said as if it was obvious. "He's gonna freak out."
"No, you won't" Quinn threatened him, pointing a finger at him, "haven't you considered that maybe Kurt doesn't want anyone to know about this? He's a minor! If the wrong person hears about him and Sebastian, things could get pretty nasty."
"Who said anything about Kurt and Sebastian?" Finn sighed, pushing Quinn back with his index finger, "I'll tell him about the three-way, I'll say Kurt heard it from Brittany, it'll be fine."
"Finn, be smart about this, please?" Kurt begged his best friend, "whatever you tell him, just make sure you leave me out of it."
Quinn gasped, apparently outraged that Kurt was giving Finn permission to tell. "There's no talking him out of it, Quinn. Just let him fantasize about the silly gossip."
"Fine" Quinn rolled her eyes, "God, you keep ignoring my advices, Kurt. I don't know why I bother."
"We appreciate your advices, Quinn" Finn pinched at the blonde's cheek, "but sometimes, men got to have their gossips."
"Right" Quinn snorted as Finn left, and turned to look at Kurt once more. "What's your plan, then?"
"My plan was making up a plan with Finn today. As you can see, that went well."
They both chuckled, and Kurt shot her a sad smile. "I just wish the power dynamic wasn't that obvious. Have you ever felt like that? Like you were so obviously the inferior part? Like... there's no way you could be equals?"
Quinn squeezed his arm, giving a rare gesture of affection. "Let me help you with this. I know all about the troubled ones. I've been one of them."