Chapter 4: The Storm Within

After Hermione left Meissa faced Snape, slipping her hands into her pockets.

"Did I not tell you to start attending your classes?"

"When did you say something like that?" Snape narrows his eyes at her, warning her to not test his temper. "Sorry…"

"Why have you been skipping classes, and meals for that matter?" He narrows his eyes at her suspiciously. "Have you been taking your potions?"Meissa looks away from her professor, refusing to answer but in doing so he confirmed his suspicions."Why would you stop? You know how important the potions are for your health."

"I… I just hate how it makes me feel," she confess quietly.

"Then you should've told me, Meissa. I would have adjusted the doses."

Meissa doesn't meet his eyes, choosing instead to cross her arms and hug herself.

"I just… want to be normal."

"You can never be normal, not if you don't take your potions like you're supposed to."

"I've been taking them for two years! When can I stop?"

"If you actually took them regularly and made an effort," Snape reminds her, taking a step back when the grass around her began to die.

"No! I'm sick and tired of the constant potions!" she screams before she starts to pace, anxiously biting her thumb. Her breathing coming in short pants.

"I understand that Meissa, I do. But I also want you to get to a point where these potions will not be necessary," Snape tells her calmly. "In order for that to happen, Meissa, you need to take the potions regularly."

He watches her agitation grow as the girl hugged herself, her pacing quickening.

"Just six more months, Meissa. Six more months of your daily potions and then we can cut it back every week."

"You said that last time!"

"Meissa, the only reason why you're still on your potions is because you stopped taking them right at the crucial point," he gently reminds her.

"I just want to be myself again," she whispers before she shakes her head. "No, I can't… I can't be that girl again. She was weak, pathetic."

He frowns worriedly when she switched to third person speaking. "Meissa, when was the last time you took your potions?" he asks worriedly.

"Yesterday? No, no it was the day before."

He closes his eyes and presses a hand to his forehead. He knew what that meant for the young girl and he suspects that she knew as well.

"Meissa…"

She looks blankly at him and he sighs. "Come with me. Perhaps we can salvage this." He turns and makes his way to a side entrance, sparing only one look over his shoulder to see if the girl was following him.

~MJB~

Meissa was smiling and talking with Daphne, the dark mood she had been experiencing gone as if it was a bad dream. Daphne, unsure of how to handle the mood swings, decided to take things as it happened.

"Oh," Meissa nudges Daphne and subtly tilted her head towards Pansy who was eating without a care in the world. Clearly the incident with her pumpkin juice was a thing of the past.

"What is it?"

Meissa smirks mischievously at her and instantly Daphne knew that whatever it was, it was probably related to the potions she had been brewing the other night.

"Won't you get into trouble with Professor Snape?" she whispers, ducking her head close.

"That's if he can figure out who the culprit is," Meissa whispers back.

"I don't know, he's a Potion Master. I think he could figure it out fairly easily."

She gets shushed by the raven haired girl and while trying not to be obvious the two of them watched Pansy for a moment and it looked like nothing was going to happen when all of the sudden the brunette started knocking things over.

To the girl's growing mortification she couldn't stop knocking things over and unfortunately she knocked over a pitcher of pumpkin juice, causing the thick juice to spill over into Draco's lap. There were other victims, of course, but Pansy's fair face went bright red as Draco jumped to his feet. Exclaiming loudly as he shook his clothes to rid of the excess.

Meissa snickered quietly to herself before getting up to rescue her cousin's clothes.

"Let me get that for you, Draco," she clasps him on his back as she effortlessly slides her wand free from its holster.

"You look far too amused to not be part of this," he mutters as she waved her wand, vanishing the juice and the stains into oblivion.

She smirks at him. "Dearest cousin, if I was part of this little stunt, I think you would find my signature all over it." She puts away her wand and presents her hands. "Now does it look like I was involved?"

He narrows his eyes at her, suspicious but instinctively knew that he had no proof of her wrong doing.

"If you were part of this," he starts off, his voice low, "Then stop. You know that Pansy is my friend."

"You have poor tastes in friends then dearest cousin," she retorts with a subtle eye roll.

"Wouldn't you say that having friends is better than having none?" he inquires, curious and meaning nothing deep by the question.

So he was startled when her eyes darkened at him and he found himself staring into a pit of despair and anger.

"No," Meissa replies, her voice practically flat."Having poor friends is, in fact, worse than having no friends."

"But," he stops when she narrowed her eyes at him in warning.

"Friends are people you can rely on forever to watch your back. A friend shouldn't be able to backstab you at the slightest opportunity," she whispers. "Or use you to their advantage."

She watch his face twitch in pain, registering that he was feeling pain but just stood there watching it until his fingers brushed against her arm.

Startled by the touch she looked to find that her knuckles were white, her fingers digging into his shoulder. She stared blankly at her hand before she forces herself to release him, flexing her fingers experimentally.

"What's wrong with you," he whispers quietly.

She continues flexing her fingers before she looks at him. "When I find out," she starts tonelessly, "You'll be the first to know."

She glances at Daphne before she walks away, leaving her supper half finished. Her appetite lost once more.

~MJB~

Meissa was in the library the following morning, catching up on her homework for the two days she had skipped. Some of the things she knew already from her godfather teaching her during the summers when she stayed with him.

Other things, such as the materials regarding Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts were easy for reasons she rather not think about - though the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was annoying with his constant stuttering.

What was his name again…?

Meissa pulls on the ends of her hair, trying to recall the irritating professor's name.

"Meissa?"

She looks up and found that Hermione was standing at the other side of the table, looking at her in curiosity.

"Ello Hermione," she greets.

"Hello." The Gryffindor gestures to the chair across from her, prompting Meissa to nod for her to sit. "How are you today?" she inquires.

Meissa actually had to think about that. She felt okay but was her version of okay actually okay?

"Meissa?"

"Mm?"

"Do you not know how you feel today?" Hermione asks quietly.

The raven haired girl tilts her head. "I think it would be safe to say that I never feel normal." She glances back down at her paper for History of Magic and scribbles a quick line while it was in her mind.

"Is that even possible?"

Meissa shrugs her shoulders, not really caring if it was possible or not. Her life was filled with things others have told her to be odd but she found to be a fact of her life.

"Hermione," she mutters after going quiet to focus on her paper. Her handwriting illegible as it lengthened out into a scrawl.

"Yes?"

"I… Well, I…"

Meissa shook her head and went quiet, writing her paper.

"Meissa, what did you want to say?"

Meissa tugs on the ends of her hair, nibbling on her lip.

"…I… You… Can you… teach me?"

"Teach you? What do you want me to teach you?"

"I…" Meissa ducks her head as she fiddles with the quill, the ink staining her fingertips. "Can you teach me to be normal?"

Hermione blinks, surprised and more than a little be stunned that Meissa would ask for help to appear normal.

"Why do you want to seem normal?" she asks, curious and more than bit worried. "I like you for who you are."

"Then you would be the only one," Meissa mutters.

Hermione frowns in concern.

"Meissa, do you by chance happen to hate yourself?"

Meissa stares at Hermione for a long moment before she looks away. Her ink stained fingers tracing out shapes Hermione couldn't figure out.

When the raven haired girl made no effort to answer Hermione's question the Gryffindor reached across and grabbed her hands. Startled and not expecting to be touched Meissa nearly jerks her hand away.

"Why?" Hermione asks quietly, "Why would you hate yourself?" She stares into equally brown eyes, searching them until the other girl looks away. "Oh Meissa, why would you believe that?"

Meissa fidgets and Hermione quickly realizes that the girl was beginning to behave like a caged animal, causing her to let her go.

"Can you teach me?" Meissa mutters quietly.

Hermione gnaws on her lower lip before sighing. "No."

The raven haired girl looks at her in disappointment before she refocuses on the paper in front of her, seeing for the first time what she was drawing. She quickly tears the parchment apart, agitated by what she had drawn.

"Meissa?"

She looks up just as she was shredding the parchment into tiny pieces.

"What are you doing?"

"… There are… runes. Runes can… protect, strengthen, weaken, or destroy," Meissa whispers as she separates the pieces into two piles.

"And you know how to use them?" Hermione asks in awe.

"Yes. There are books in my family home filled with runes and their intended uses. One wrong line and a protection circle becomes an entrapment circle."

"That's… dangerous," Hermione mutters thoughtfully.

"It is," Meissa agrees, pushing one of the piles to Hermione. "When you can, toss those into the fireplace. Burn them."

"What did you draw onto them?" Hermione asks, curious.

Meissa thinks about it for a moment before sighing. She grabs another sheet of parchment. "I will not draw what I had before. But I am willing to teach you the basics, if you wish."

Hermione leans forward in curiosity and watched Meissa sketch out five different runes.

"Fire," she points to the first one, represented by single unbroken yet zigzagging line forming a strange figure eight with legs. "Water." This one was a crescent moon, the two points meeting a single vertical line. "Earth." A circle with a vertical line bisecting it with a slight flourish before it enters the circle. "Air." Two parallel lines and a single squiggly line crossing the two. "Protection." Another two parallel lines, this time horizontal, and what appeared to be an upside down pyramid with the point cut off by the bottom most line.

She had arranged the four element runes in a diamond around the protection rune.

"With a bit of magic," she whispers as she slides the parchment over to the amazed Gryffindor, "Any witch or wizard can use this. They just need to draw it right."

"What does this do?" Hermione asks out of curiosity, studying the runes.

"Fire to protect and destroy the danger to your life. Water for intuition for any and all danger to your life. Earth for stability and practicality. And Air for intellect and reason," Meissa taps the fifth rune in the center. "This rune ties the four elements together and draws out the positive aspects of the four elements."

Hermione nods her head in understanding before she has a question. "So, if a different rune was here…?"

Meissa frowns. "If a different rune was used instead of Tutela," she starts in a soft voice, "it's likely the darker side of each elements would be used." She rubs her chin in thought before she snaps her fingers. "Contritio."

"What?"

"Destruction," she translates easily now that she could remember the world.

"Oh…"

Meissa shook her head. "Anyway, put this by your bed," she tells the Gryffindor. "Or put it somewhere with your personal things. So long it is close to something that is yours the magic will protect you."

"Really?"

Meissa merely nods as she picks up her quill again, turning her attention to the paper she was supposed to be writing. But Hermione could spy a slight tinge of red in her cheeks, figuring that the other girl must be feeling shy or embarrassed to want to drop the conversation instead of reveling in it.

"Thank you," she whispers as she tucks the parchment away.

Meissa's lip twitch into a brief smile before she ducks her head back down and scribbled something on her paper.

~MJB~

It must be close to nightfall - and curfew - when Meissa straightens her back, a low satisfied groan escaping her lips when various pops were heard. The tension gone she gives her homework a once over.

She couldn't find anything wrong with what she had written - though she does make a note to find more books on history. Anything was better than listening to Professor Binns' droning voice in class. It was enough to give her a migraine if she doesn't fall asleep first.

After going through the parchments and correcting any errant letter she takes a look around for the first time since Hermione left for lunch. It was deadly quiet in the library with nearly everyone gone and of course Madam Pince demanded absolute silence anyway.

Tired and dreading to know what her cousin may have been up to while she was in the library doing her homework she packs up her things. It was high time she returned to the Slytherin dormitory anyway.

After she had gathered up everything, and double checked herself, she left the library. Fully aware that she's cutting it fairly close since she still had to walk clear across Hogwarts to reach the grand staircase and from there the common room to the Slytherin dormitory.

She was actually making her way through the corridors when she hears a familiar voice. She couldn't quite place it but there was something about it that had her screwing her face in dislike. Standing at the corner she wondered if she wanted or needed to find out who was just around the bend.

After a moment she decided that she didn't need to and continued walking. She turns down the corridor with the classrooms normally used for charms and had nearly put the voice out of her mind when she heard something.

"Leave me alone," a defiant and most definitely recognizable voice demands.

She immediately stopped and pressed a hand to her face, thinking to herself - of course, who else could it be. She drops her things down, her bag barely making a noise, and briskly walked back to the bend she had ignored. Just as she was turning around she draws her wand. Her eyes narrowing instantly when she sees that Parkinson had Hermione cornered with Bulstrode with her.

The bigger girl didn't even have her wand out - a slight Meissa couldn't stand for - and with a growl Meissa storms forward. "Flipendo!" The spell knocks Millicent away from the Gryffindor before she turns to face Pansy, standing protectively in front of Hermione. (1)

"What can I do you for," Meissa ask, her voice barely casual as she eyes the girls. Her jinx hadn't knocked Millicent down for long and she could see that the girl was more than a little bit irritated.

As her father's potential magical heir Meissa knew that she could have her work cut out for her. But tonight, she was just plain ol' Millicent Bulstrode and she can handle that.

"This has nothing to do with you, Black," Bulstrode snaps as she dusted off her robes.

"Perhaps not," she agrees. "But I have issues with Parkinson so I feel obligated to interrupt." She smirks at the furious look in Pansy's face.

"You're a blood traitor!" Parkinson threw at her face.

Meissa growls as she stood to her entire height - moving quickly to back the other girl against the wall, her wand aimed carefully at Bulstrode to keep her out. "You be careful what you say to me Parkinson," she all but snarls. "One drop of my blood is worth so much more than what you possess!"

"I'm a pureblood too!" Pansy gasps as Meissa squeezes her hand around her throat, "One of the Sacred Twenty-Eight!"

Meissa crackles loudly as she gives another tight squeeze before shoving the girl away from her. "Not in my book," she sneers after the girl. "Your family will never be welcomed into mine!" she yells after them.

"Meissa?"

The Black Heiress stares down the corridor where she had seen the girls ran, lost in her thoughts and unaware that someone had called her name.

"Meissa?"

"Mm?" She rubs her eyes as she registered her name. Exhausted and more than ready to turn in for the night she turns to the speaker to find that Hermione was staring at her wide eyed.

"Meissa, are you okay?" she hears the Gryffindor ask.

"Mm, why do you ask?"

"I… Well, I've never seen you like this before."

Meissa was still clearing her mind when she heard Hermione say that. When the words register in her mind she looks at the Gryffindor and saw for the first time her concern.

"My apologies," Meissa mutters as she slides her wand back into place, "I… I didn't mean for you to see that." She tugs idly on her ear, feeling insecure, "I… Sorry."

"What happened," Hermione asks, touching the girl's arm slightly.

Meissa twitched under the touch but she didn't move away like she normally would have done though her hands did tremble.

"I… Parkinson just makes me so… mad," Meissa confesses quietly. "I just…" she sighs as she press a hand to her face, she didn't know how to answer this. "I hate people who try to use my family name to further their own station."She turns around and walks back to her things with Hermione following her. "Parkinson's family is a small pureblood family - parasites."

"Isn't parasites a bit of a… harsh word to use?"

"If the shoe fit," Meissa mutters distractedly as she slings her bag onto her shoulder.

"Okay, but this still doesn't explain your reaction."

"It's two things then," Meissa remarks. "One: she's using Draco's family to further her station. Two: she was bullying you."

Hermione smiles and slipped her hand into Meissa's, getting a twitch but again the Black heiress didn't pull her hand free. "Thank you for caring."

The other girl coughs and shuffles but doesn't say anything and when Hermione looks at her she saw that there was a rosy blush on her face. Hermione decides to say nothing, content in the knowledge that the other girl cares enough to defend her from the other Slytherins.

~MJB~

Meissa sat in one of the armchairs, her legs curled up beneath her as she stares into the fire. She was so far into her own thoughts she didn't hear or see the things happening around her.

It was probably close to midnight when someone came up the stairs and sat down across from her, patiently waiting for her to notice them. Another thirty minute passed before she turned her gaze over to the blonde.

"What are you doing up?" she asks.

"Funny, I was going to ask you that."

She rolls her eyes at him and shifts in her seat to move her legs, wincing at the tingly feeling in her legs. "Answer the question."

"Pansy told me about what happened on the third floor."

"What about it."

"Why were you defending a Gryffindor?"

"Why are you interested."

Draco gives her a sharp look that told her that he wanted answers and he didn't want her to keep walking him into circles.

She rolls her eyes at him and lowers her legs to the ground, adjusting herself so that she could face him easily if push came to shove.

"I don't care for any sorts of bullying," she tells him simply, narrowing her eyes at him. She knew that he's been ragging on Harry and his friends lately - the Magical Duel was just the latest of the various attempts to get the Boy-Who-Lived into trouble.

"Knocking my friend around is still bullying, Meissa."

She looks sharply at him, her eyes blazing with anger. But he didn't back down, meeting her eyes straight on despite the possibility of her using Legilimency on him.

"Leave the Gryffindors alone and then maybe we wouldn't have these issues."

"They're Gryffindors!"

"Like I give a damn about who they are! Leave them alone."

She stands up and without another word she heads down to the girl's room.

Translations:

1) Flipendo - knockback curse