Ch. 15

The Saturday weather in Port Charles was positively spring-like with the wind just slightly above a breeze. Dante was intending to take Rocco out to watch the local baseball club play later on in the afternoon, but first he had to tackle some housecleaning. He really was living like a bachelor—his loft was becoming a mess. He was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen when there was a forceful knock on his door, which was quickly repeated. "Someone is impatient," he thought to himself as he went to answer the knock. His curiosity turned to joy when he saw the person on the other side of the door, a joy that promptly turned to surprised alarm when he had to duck to narrowly avoid being hit upside the head. "Yo, Ma, what the hell? I don't see you for months and when I finally do, this is the way you greet me? What'd I do?"

Olivia blew into the center of the room with the force of a hurricane where she rounded on him, exclaiming, "What did you do? What did you do? What do you mean, what did you do?" The light dawned swiftly within him. "Oh. You must have heard…"

"Must have heard?" She put her hand to her head as if to keep it from blowing off. "I had three separate messages from Lulu on my answering machine waiting for me when I got home! Dante Angelo Falconeri, I don't even know what to say! I'm just—I'm just—I can't go away to get your brother settled without comin' back to hear you're blowin' up your life! I'm so angry I don't know what to do!"

"Ok, I get that. Would you like to sit down, maybe have a beer, chill out a little?"

"I'm too pissed to sit! And I'm not thirsty! I've got to go see Lulu but I thought I'd better come here first to hear what you have to say!"

"Are you sure you can be calm enough to listen, or do you want to blow up some more?"

"Don't get fresh! I'm—so—I haven't been this disappointed in you since that fight I had with Mrs. Concinini when you were ten! You remember that?"

"Mrs. Concinini-"

"Yeah, Mrs. Concinini! You broke her front window throwin' rocks and you blamed it on her son Joey! I called her every name in the book defending you against her, only to find out you had lied to me! Yellin' in the middle of the street like a fishwife over a lie! I was so embarrassed that day! That's how I feel right now, Dante! Angry, mortified, embarrassed! My kid isn't a cheater! Falconeri men don't cheat!"

Dante clutched his head in frustration before saying loudly, "Do you plan to listen to me at all, or did you just come over here to yell at me! Just let me know!"

Her initial ire somewhat abated, Olivia sat down huffily on the couch, crossing her arms. "Go ahead and try to explain!"

"Thank you. What do you know? What did she tell you?"

"SHE didn't tell me anything. There were three messages on my phone when I got home. One said that she was sorry she lied to you—for me to please call her and help her fix 'this' because you were too angry to hear her. The next one said you had cheated on her with her cousin, and she didn't think she could forgive you. She was cryin' during that one, by the way. Finally, the last message was kinda formal. She said she would always consider me family, but you two had decided to divorce. To please call when I got home from my trip. And that was it, but it was enough! Now go ahead, explain!"

"Ok. Her brother Lucky had been kidnapped. Her dad told her about it, but he also told her not to involve the cops. Meanin' me. So instead of tellin' me the truth anyway as my wife, she did what he told her to do and she lied to me. I found out she was lyin' 'cause I overheard her talkin' to someone on the phone, someone she told 'I love you' to. When I asked her who she was talkin' to, she said 'Maxie' which I knew was a lie. So I got curious and followed her. She went to the Quartermaine house, where Dillon Quartermaine greeted her wearin' a towel and nothin' else. She told him she really needed to talk to him, and they went inside. So I knew somethin' was goin' on between them, somethin' she wasn't sharin' with me, ok? I gave her chance after chance to tell me the truth, but she kept lyin'! Finally, she tells me she's gotta go to her grandmother's in Italy to help her out. She's busted her leg, ankle, somethin'. I find out that's a lie. She's in Canada with Dillon, not Italy."

"How'd you find that out?"

"I'm a detective—I detected it. I made some phone calls, tracked some credit card transactions. And I was pissed. And I started drinkin'."

"Oh, Dante. What then?"

"I decided I was gonna to fly to Canada, confront Lulu and kick Dillon's ass. That was my big plan."

"Where does the cousin come into it?"

"It's too complicated to explain. Just know she was there tryin' to support me, ok?"

"I'll bet she was!"

"Ok, Ma, you know what? I'm willin' to tell you if you're willin' to listen but I'm not havin' you talk bad about Val! She's been my rock through all this crap!"

"You tryin' to defend her to me?"

"If I have to. She's off limits, ok? I mean it."

Olivia was struck by how emphatic he was about defending Lulu's cousin. "There's somethin' there," she thought, deciding to leave her theories about Valerie's involvement for a later discussion. "Fine," she said aloud, "she's off limits. Go on."

"Ok. First I asked Val to watch Rocco while I flew to Canada. She talked me out of it, sayin' wait until the mornin', when my head was clearer. I stewed all night, and in the mornin', I went to Sonny's to ask him to watch Rocco for me—told him what I suspected. I decided to go to Canada. I was gonna light them both up. He said he would watch him, so I went. When I got there, I badged one of the maids there and got her to let me in their room. Their one, single room. Bed's unmade, clothes all over the place, room service half eaten. I saw her nightshirt on the bed, and somethin' inside me just clicked off. I was beyond furious at that point, and I left."

"Whadda you mean, you left? What'd Lulu say when you confronted her? That's the whole reason you went there, right?"

"I didn't see her, Ma. I didn't confront her. I just left. I couldn't stay and wait. I just left."

"So she wasn't there, and you didn't wait for her, you just flew back home? Dante, that doesn't make sense! Why'd you bother to go all the way up there if you weren't gonna-"

"I'm tellin' you, Ma, there was no rational thought goin' on! Up until that point, the angriest I'd ever been in my life was with you after I found out Sonny was my father. It was like a red haze was coverin' my eyes. I was just—there was only rage. That's all. I came home. And kept drinkin'."

"I'm sensin' a theme here. Alcohol. You really are my kid, aren't you? Then what happened?"

"Valerie came by to check on me 'cause I had my phone off. I told her what I saw. She kept tryin' to tell me I didn't see what I knew I saw, kept tryin' to come up with reasons why I was wrong. Tellin' me I couldn't give up on what I had. But at that point, I told her why should I hold on when Lulu had let go already. And she was standin' there feelin' so bad for me. And I was attracted to her, Ma, have been from the beginnin' but I never woulda acted on it, never. But I was pissed, my wife was lyin' to me, cheatin' on me, and I didn't care anymore. And we just-" Dante sighed heavily.

"Ok, I see it now. I get it. But if Lulu cheated first, why did she leave me that message about you cheatin' with her cousin?"

"Because she didn't cheat on me. She had lied to me, but she went to Canada to help rescue her brother, not to cheat on me. But it was too late by then. I'd already slept with Valerie."

"So she comes back, you two clear the air—where does divorce come into it?"

Dante began pacing the room in agitation. He would almost rather be in the dentist's chair than have this conversation with his mother, because he didn't think he could explain it in a way she would understand. Still, she was waiting for an explanation, so he had to try.

"Ok. This is hard. When she first got back, we had a big blow up. I accused her of cheatin'. She told me the truth and begged me to forgive her. But I didn't tell her about Val and me. I couldn't. I talked to Val about it, told her I wanted to try to work on my marriage, asked her to keep it quiet. She agreed to. But somethin' was happenin' inside me the whole time. I couldn't touch Lulu. I tried. I wanted to get things back to where they were, but it wasn't possible. And I started thinkin' about—like you said—how Falconeri men don't cheat. I let myself down, I let the family down. I let Lulu down. I'd become someone I swore I'd never be. But I wouldn't have become this guy if my wife hadn't lied to me. I'm not sayin' she made me cheat. That's not it. But the door was opened and I walked through it because I thought she had let go first. I acted on my attraction to Valerie because I thought my marriage was already over. All these negative thoughts started swirlin' around in my head. I was legit conflicted, Ma, I swear. I loved my wife, but somethin' inside me had turned off, and I couldn't touch her. It was guilt, but it was also anger. And there was also Val inside my head, too. This sweet woman who had been nothin' but a support to me when I needed it most. And I was just confused. I went to Sonny to get some advice, that's how messed up I was. He actually told me to confess, and let Lulu decide how we went on after she knew. I had told Sonny before that I kissed Val, he told Carly, and she told Lulu. So Lulu knew about the kiss but not about the other thing. She was tryin' to forgive me, she said, for the kiss. But I still couldn't get close to her. She suggested counselin', which I agreed to. And then she overheard me and Val talkin', well, yellin' really and she found out we had slept together."

"You and Val were yellin'? What were you yellin' about if she'd already agreed to keep her mouth shut?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is Lulu overheard us, and that was it. She reamed me out, she moved herself and Rocco out to Wyndemere, and we were done. She found out what I had done, and she left me again, this time with my son."

"You blame her? She just found out her husband had cheated on her with her cousin!"

"It's not that I blamed her exactly. I just decided I wasn't gonna chase her this time. Every time somethin' major happens between us that she doesn't like or approve of, she leaves me. And this was huge, Ma, I get that. But why was it ok for her to lie to me when she always leaves me for doin' the same thing? I couldn't—can't—get past that. Everything is always on her terms. She decides when she leaves, she decides when she stays. And I just didn't want to do it anymore. I'm a cheater. And she's a liar. And there we are. I saw a lifetime of me messin' up, beggin' her for another chance, and her decidin' whether or not to forgive me, or her pullin' what I did with Val out like some kind of free pass to hold over my head whenever we disagreed. And I just didn't wanna do it anymore."

"Ok, baby. I hear you, ok? But this is fixable, Dante. You don't have to get divorced because of this! It'll take time, but you two can work through this. I think seein' a counselor is a good idea. It's not a quick fix—there isn't one for this—but what you two have is strong enough to get past this one blip, even though it's pretty big."

"Our hearts are already too far apart, Ma. It could never be repaired to what it was. It's too far gone to get it back."

"And how much of that is down to Miss Valerie?"

Dante walked over to the window and stared out, his jaw clenching. "I told you I don't want to talk about her, Ma, ok? Not with you, 'cause you won't understand. I barely do! Just forget about her in this!"

"I can't, Dante! I heard how you talked about her just now! She's in this up to her pretty little neck! For all I know, she was waitin' for a crack to appear so she could jump on in!"

Dante whirled away from the window to face his mother angrily. "I told you, she's off limits! Trust me; you don't want me talkin' about her, anyway! You won't like what you hear!"

"I already don't like what I'm hearin' from you! I think part of the reason you're so sure your marriage is over is because of her! What exactly is this girl to you that you are just fine throwin' away your relationship with Lulu?"

"I DON'T KNOW, MA! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR? I don't know what she is to me! But you know what? I wanna find out! There! I said it! I admitted it! You happy? I've had her in my arms, and I liked it! And I want her, Ma! I had her once, and I wanna have her again! Is that what you wanted to hear-"

Before she could stop herself, Olivia slapped him hard. They both stood there, stunned and breathing heavily. They had tears forming in their eyes as they regarded one another—Olivia with her hand over her mouth in shock, Dante with this look of sad surprise on his face. "I can't believe I just did that," she whispered softly, adding, "I'm so sorry, baby. I can't believe I just-" She reached out to touch his face, and he jerked away reflexively. The anger was suddenly gone from the room as if it had just evaporated. Only shock and sadness remained.

Dante felt a tear roll down his cheek and as he sat down on the couch, he sniffed, "That's ok, Ma. How you felt is how you felt. It's whatever."

"It's not ok, Dante. I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

In front of his mother, his façade finally crumbled, and he began crying as he asked, "Can you forgive me? For letting you down? For this whole mess? Can you forgive me?"

Olivia sat next to him and gathered him into her arms, her tears beginning to roll as well. "Of course, baby. There's nothing for me to forgive. You're my oldest, my first best thing. You're stuck with me forever." She held him until his tears eventually ceased, and then she wiped his face with her hand and kissed his cheek before hugging him. "Of course you also know," she told him when he was calmer, "that Lulu will always be my daughter."

"I don't want that to change, Ma. You have a relationship—and you're Rocco's grandmother. I'm ok with you being on her side in this."

"That's good, because I love you both. Somehow, eventually, it's all gonna work out. It's got to."

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