Ch. 17

Saturday evening found Dante brooding once again as he sat on his couch in the empty loft. It was amazing to him how almost nothing in the small space had changed and yet everything was different. He wondered what Rocco was doing right now. It wouldn't be too long before his bedtime—he imagined Norma was probably preparing his bath. Or maybe Lulu was doing it. Six months ago he would have known exactly what his family was doing, because they would be doing it here with him. It would take time, he knew, but he was going to have to get used to being on his own in this lonely loft. Maybe. Who could really tell what the future held? He thought he should get off the couch and do something or go somewhere but he was lacking the energy and the desire. He finally decided to turn on the television as a distraction. He always had the Yankees.

He was just getting into the game when there was a strong knock at his door. For a moment, he flashed back to his mother standing on the other side of the door with her iron fist, and he hoped it wasn't her. He loved his Ma but he so wasn't in the mood for any more of her tirades, or the emotions associated with them. Peace was what he was after. He got up and answered the knock. Peace was going to have to take a back seat tonight. Holding aloft two six-packs of beer and bags of snacks, Michael and Morgan were saying, "Hey, Dante—took you long enough to get the door!" "Yeah," added Morgan, "you asleep or something?" They pushed past him to set their bounty down on the coffee table and Morgan let out a small whoop when he realized Dante already had the game on.

"What brings you guys by? And how'd you end up together?"

"We both had the idea to go see Avery and spend some time with her. While we were there, Dad told us what was going on with you and he said we should come check on you. So here we are."

"I'm always glad to see you guys but I'm fine, so-"

"Hey, we've got snacks, brews, and the Yankees. We're staying, right Michael?"

Michael gave his older brother a hard examination before answering, "Yeah, I think we are, Morgan. Dante, we don't have to talk if you don't want to, but we're here, so if you need to vent, go for it. That's the main reason we came."

Putting his hand on top of his head, Dante looked at his brothers in consternation. "What exactly did Sonny tell you that made you think I needed to blow off steam?"

"Well, for starters," replied Morgan, "your mother is back in town. That's gotta be making you think of your little brother. We know you didn't really get any time with him but you were looking forward to being a big brother again. We didn't want you sitting over here all sad and alone and stuff. And speaking of alone, he also told us you and Lulu are breaking up. Sorry to hear that, bro."

Michael added, "What Morgan's trying to say in his clumsy way is that we're here to support you. I'm really sorry to hear about you and Lulu, too. If anybody would make it, I thought it would be you two. What happened?"

"It's a long story. It's enough to say something started small, built to something bigger until she and I just imploded. I don't know if I have the stomach to go into it all again. I feel like between Lulu, Sonny and my Ma, I'm all talked out about it."

"Does it have anything to do with you cheating on Lulu?" wondered Morgan aloud.

"Morgan, damn—do you even know what tact is?" Michael was suddenly exasperated with his younger brother. "We're here to make things better, not worse, ok!"

"I was just asking! I heard Mom and Dad talking about it—Mom was saying Lulu was out for blood and she was afraid for Cousin Valerie. Dad said he thought Valerie could take care of herself. Then they saw me standing there and they changed the subject. I figured if Lulu was that pissed, she would probably leave with Rocco. That's what happened, isn't it?"

Letting out a short bark of laughter, Dante said, "Ok, I guess you guys are going to make me talk about it whether I want to or not. Long story short, Lulu lied to me about something, which made me think she was cheating on me with Dillon Quartermaine. I got pissed, got drunk, and ended up sleeping with your cousin Valerie. We were both hurting, it was wrong, but it happened. Lulu found out, decided she couldn't forgive me and left with Rocco, then later decided maybe she could forgive me, if she tried real hard. By then, I was too angry to hear or care because I felt like her lies set all this crap in motion, so I'm actually the one pursuing the divorce, not her."

"Wah, Dante, that's deep. I thought you and Lulu were gonna be lifers."

"Well, Morgan, let that be a lesson to you. Don't lie to your partner in a relationship." Dante nodded knowingly when Morgan suddenly couldn't meet his eyes. "Listen, kid, truth hurts, but uncovered lies hurt worse and they destroy trust. Whatever you're doing that's causing you to not be able to look me in the eye, knock it off. Just play it straight, ok? Don't be a jerk."

Morgan protested, "You don't know what you're talking about! I'm not doing anything!"

"Your face says otherwise, little brother. I'm a trained lie detector, remember? I'm just saying, whatever you're doing, clean it up and don't screw over people you claim to love." Dante turned to Michael and asked, "Why aren't you chiming in here?"

"Because Morgan is hard-headed—I don't like wasting my time. He doesn't know what to do with good advice."

"Oh, because you're so wise? Give me a break."

"Wise enough to know I've got something good with Sabrina. Wise enough to treat her well and not play games with her. You and Kiki and this ridiculous dance you two do—it's whatever. Dysfunction Junction."

"Hey, you don't know enough about me and Kiki's relationship to talk like that and after what you did with her in the first place-"

Dante quickly intervened before the argument exploded with, "Ok, shut up! If you guys want to fight, go back to the ring. I'm not in the mood to have to play referee for you. Watch the game, drink your beers, stop being annoying. So Michael, this thing with Sabrina. It sounds like it's getting serious."

With a rueful grin, Michael explained, "I'm trying to take things slow, I really am. The more I'm with her though, I can't help it—I'm falling for her. I'm avoiding the 'L' word for now but if things keep going the way they're going, I don't know. I thought I was in love in the past but this feels different, so I'm taking it slow. She means a lot to me and I don't want to lose what we're building. She makes me want to be, I don't know, more somehow. Man that sounds sappy when I say it out loud."

"Sounds like you're already in love whether you say it out loud or not. I'm glad for you, Michael, I really am. Just remember, be honest about your feelings, be honest period. I don't want you to end up like me."

"I still remember the day you told me you had gotten married. I was reeling from losing Abby in Chicago and you were sitting across from me, twisting your new wedding ring back and forth. I remember thinking how lucky you were to have the one you loved alive and well so you could marry her. I still can't believe this is happening to you guys. But what's the story with Cousin Valerie? How does she fit into all this?"

Dante considered his words carefully before responding, "Ok. You guys are my brothers, and you're not little kids, so I'll speak frankly. I don't know where she fits in, exactly. But I want to find out. She pulls something from me, which I never expected to have happen. We didn't set out to cheat but it happened anyway between us because there was always something there from the beginning. I don't know what any of it means yet—it's pretty confusing."

Looking at him sideways, Michael said, "You're not usually unsure about anything you do. This is rare for you. Makes me want to meet our cousin just that much more, since she seems to be the cause. I know one thing—Sonny seems to like her, too. We'll have to set up a time so you can introduce us."

"She's your family; you don't need a set time to have me introduce her to you. She's staying at Sonny's penthouse and she's working at the PCPD. Just seek her out. I'm sure she wants to meet you, too."

"I feel kind of bad for Lulu, too, though. Like maybe I shouldn't be looking like I'm choosing sides or something."

"You're not choosing sides, Michael. They're both your cousins. You can meet Val and still support Lulu. It doesn't have to be an 'either/or' kind of thing…"

Morgan interrupted their conversation by abruptly exclaiming, "This game bites! I can't believe the Yanks are losing to the White Sox! It's a good thing we're not actually in the stands! You'd be going ape by now, Dante!" Dante thought of his discussion with Valerie about that very thing and he began laughing. "I was just telling someone a few days ago how animated I get about the Yankees, especially when I'm watching in the ballpark. We should plan to take in a game sometime before the season ends this year."

"I'm not gonna let you forget you said that," Morgan quickly retorted, adding, "I'm gonna hold you to it."

The game was over and the night was wearing on. Both Morgan and Michael were trying to stifle their yawns when Dante told them, "Look, thanks for coming by—it was good to see you both, and to actually see you getting along. You don't have to feel like you need to be hanging out when you're obviously tired, though. I'm probably gonna head to bed in a while myself. How are you guys getting home? I'm not sure you should be driving-"

"I'm going to call for my driver," said Michael, stretching his arms over his head as he yawned again. "You can keep the rest of the beer and stuff."

Dante walked them to the door after thanking them once again for stopping by. It was as if they took all the life and energy out of the loft with them when they left—the silence was deafening. He should just turn in, go to bed. And he would do that, but he wanted to make a phone call first…

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Valerie looked over at her Caller ID and smiled as she answered on the second ring. "Hello, hello, hello!" she said cheerfully. "Hey, you," Dante replied with a smile of his own, "What are you doing right now?"

"What am I not doing is a better question! I'm lying here playing around on my laptop, I've got the game on—sorry about your boys, by the way—and I'm listening to videos on YouTube."

"Listening to videos? Don't you usually watch videos?"

"You do if you're not playing games in another window! I'm probably overstimulating myself but I wanted the distractions. Why? What are you doing right now?"

"My brothers Frick and Frack, otherwise known as Michael and Morgan, just left. Sonny sent them over here to cheer me up. I was kind of annoyed at first but now I'm glad they showed up. It was lively here for a while, but now it's quiet again, and I wanted to hear a voice. Your voice. I've been thinking about you one way and another all day."

"Really? I've been thinking about you, too. I wanted to thank you for my flowers. You're right; they're beautiful. I was going to call but I didn't want to disturb you—I know sometimes you need your down time. I don't want to seem like a pest-"

"Listen, anytime you want to, go ahead and call me, ok? You're not a pest or a bother or any other negative thing you could call yourself that would keep you from calling me. And you're welcome. I wanted you to know I was thinking of you and I appreciated you allowing me to stay at your place and crash. I'm glad you liked them. By the way, my brothers mentioned they want to meet you."

"I should meet them. It's still so strange to go from having no one but my mom to having all these aunts, uncles and cousins. I'm trying to get used to it, though. It's nice to not feel so alone."

"I know exactly how you feel—I went through the same thing when I found out I was Sonny's kid. Instant family with a father, brothers and a sister, cousins—the whole works. It was overwhelming at first. Now I can barely remember when they weren't in my life. Not to change the subject," he went on, changing the subject, "but I did something today because I was thinking of you."

"What did you do?"

"Let's just say that what happened the other night won't be happening again."

"Because you don't want it to happen?"

"Because now I'm better prepared. The next time you ask me the question you asked that night, I'll have a different answer. I think you understand what I'm saying." Her stomach dropped at the implication and she took a quick breath before swallowing hard. She had an admission of her own to share in return and so she told him, "I guess great minds think alike. I went to GH today and saw Dr. Lee."

"Is everything ok? You're not sick, are you?"

"Not a bit—everything's perfect. But I thought I should make some preparations myself to prevent certain complications cropping up if and when we're ever in that same type of situation again."

Dante was quiet for a moment before responding, "You realize what we're really saying, right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I mean, that one time wasn't planned but if we're taking certain steps, both of us, we're saying we're ready to go to the next level together. Is that the way you understand it?"

"Yeah. This thing between us isn't going away—it's getting stronger. I'm not some kind of sex maniac, but lately, I can't stop thinking about-"

"Trust me; I'm right there with you-"

"And I want you so bad I can taste it. I can't believe I just admitted that to you. But I'm not taking it back." Once again, Dante fell silent. "Are you ok with what I said? What are you thinking about?" she asked him.

"I'm trying to convince myself not to jump in the car. I want us to be clear-headed about all this, Val. Take it slow. I'm glad we're both on the same page here, though, trying to be responsible. I hated having to stop the other night."

Valerie sighed and covered her face with her hands. "We should stop talking about this, though. I'm getting frustrated all over again."

Laughing and nodding as if she could see him through the phone, Dante replied, "Soon. I plan to take care of that very soon. For both of us. I think I can go to sleep now; maybe it'll be my turn to have a sex dream tonight."

"You're not gonna let me forget that, are you?"

"When I was the star of the show? Not likely. Have a good night, Val."

"You too, Dante. Thanks a lot for getting me all hot and bothered over here! If I end up tangled up in my bedsheets again tonight, I'll be coming for you, just so you know!"

"I sincerely hope so!"

"That's NOT what I meant!"

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from hoping. Or fantasizing."

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