When she woke up it took some time for Lexa to realise she was alone. Her mouth was dry. He needed to drink. She spotted the glass on the bedside table and tried to sit or at least move an arm but the ache was so strong she just ended up groaning in pain. She had had her arms and ribs broken before. It wasn't the first time she was in such a state. But the river had pulled and torn her body so well that all her muscles, tendons and joints were sore. She wondered if someone would go look for her. Warriors, azgedakru warriors sent to kill her. Fear seized her at the realisation. "CLARKE !" She called as loudly as her broken body permitted her. She waited, heart beating fast, all senses on alert, hoping for something, a voice, a sound, anything. Then she heard hurried footsteps approaching and saw a panting blonde quickly enter the house.
"Lex- *pant* Lexa, what is *pant* it ?"
The brunette released a relieved sigh "Sorry. I thought-" but her voice shut. Her throat felt swollen and painful. She winced and the blonde ran to her side and fell on her knees.
"What, what is it ?"
Lexa managed to whisper "Throat"
It was Clarke's turn to sigh in relief "Shit ! I thought it was something terrible ! I told you, you have a really mean cold. You spoke too much yesterday so your throat is swollen. And you just screamed like an idiot to aggravate it" She shook her head "I'll give you something to reduce the pain but you'll have to stay silent for a while or your throat won't heal"
It was a nightmare. Lexa couldn't tell Clarke she was in danger. She was the prisoner of her own body. She nodded to reassure the blonde. She needed her voice to return as soon as possible. It was just a matter of time before the azgeda's minions start looking for her body.
Clarke stood and went to the fireplace. She added a few wood pieces to the fire and poured some milk in what looked like a suspended pan. Then she approached the bed again.
"Lexa, I'll need to check something. I'll uncover you ok ?" The brunette nodded, not fully understanding the blonde's concern until the girl actually uncovered her. The smell was terrible and Lexa's whole being trembled in shame. Clarke covered her again "I'll call Lincoln when you're finished with your milk and we'll take you to the hot spring. You need a bath"
Lexa used to be the most powerful human being on earth. Now she was trapped in a body she couldn't control, needing assistance for everything. What once was pride had turned into shame and Lexa cried again.
"Shh it's ok. I'm a doctor. You're sick and hurt. It's ok" said the blonde, sitting on the bed and cupping the other girl's left cheek, wiping tears with her thumb.
So many times Lexa had dreamt about Clarke's hand on her cheek, Clarke's soft voice, Clarke's skin on her own, Clarke's scent, Clarke's blue eyes, Clarke… but now all she wanted was to die. Die and relieve herself of the shame of being seen like that by the woman she loved. Love… She had kissed Clarke. No, the commander had kissed Clarke. The actual Lexa was nothing like the insurant and fierce woman the Heda was. She left her tears trail her cheeks and the worried, pained blue eyes looking at her pierced her heart like a hundred arrows.
The blonde jumped then, remembering that milk was boiling. She stood and filled a cup. She added honey. Then just like the day before, she sat next to Lexa, helped her to sit and drink. Lexa had her gaze focused on her lap or the cup. She couldn't meet Clarke's eyes. Her tears were still running down her cheeks when the blonde placed a light kiss on her temple in acceptation. Acceptation of everything and green finally met blue and Lexa's heart throbbed. "I knew what I was getting into the moment I picked you up from the river. I know the queen will send people to look for you. And I can't guarantee that they won't find you or harm us but this house is really well hidden. Only a few people knows that we're here" She helped Lexa to drink again and added "And as long as I'm breathing, I won't let them put a single finger on you" Clarke then stood quickly and leaned Lexa down. "I'll call Lincoln. He'll carry you to the bath"
Silence fell in the room when Clarke left the house, the only sound being the crackling of the fire. Lexa's tears had stopped. She couldn't die. That was the message held by the blonde's words. Clarke wanted her to live. But how ? How can you live when just surviving is something you can't do on your own ?
It was the sound of the door opening that dragged Lexa out of her thoughts. Lincoln entered followed by Clarke. The man kneeled down next to the bed and bowed *Pardon me heda* He stood and wrapped her in the furs of the bed. Then he lifted her. It took Lexa by surprise. Out of habit she moved to free herself but only managed to hurt herself and groan.
"Stop that Lexa, you'll hurt yourself and reopen your wounds !"
Wounds ? She had wounds ? At the blonde's worried gaze Lexa calmed down and relaxed in Lincoln's arms. Clarke held the door open for the man to get out and the brunette shivered. Snow was covering the field and woods around her. The sun was high and the whole scenery was silent, Lincoln's footsteps' cracking in the fresh snow put aside. Everything seemed suspended in time. It was beautiful. Lincoln took the direction of the woods and Lexa wondered where he was taking her.
*She will join you in a minute. She is preparing clothes and towels* said the man after a few minutes, sensing the girl's concern at the fact that Clarke wasn't following them. Lexa blushed slightly at that. She hadn't realise how much she was searching for the blonde until Lincoln's remark.
Then they approached what looked like a clearing with a cave in front of them. The snow around the entry of the dark tunnel had melted and a hot steam was escaping it. Lincoln adjusted Lexa's position in his arms so that he could grab the torch at the entry. They penetrated the cave and an incredible heat surrounded them. It became harder to breath but compared to the cold outside, such a warmth felt good and comforting. After a two minute walk in the pitch black corridor, barely large enough for them to walk in, they finally reached the spring. It was a rather large cavity. The ceiling was high enough for the light of the torches arranged on the walls not to reach it. The round pool too was large, around 80 feet large, and seemed deep. A wooden platform was settled at approximatively 20 inches under the hot, fuming water. Strangely, the temperature inside the room was colder than in the narrow tunnel from before.
Lincoln carefully put Lexa down in a sitting position, resting her back on a wall. *I will leave you here. Clarke should be there in a minute* The man turned to exit the cave and had already a foot in the corridor when he spoke, his back to Lexa *Trust her* Lexa wanted him to look at her and the incredulous look on her face and explain what he meant but he just disappeared in the dark without more explanation.
Lexa quickly mentally shrugged it away, focusing on the amazing thing that was the whole place. Natural caves like this one were rare, and those with hot springs in it, even more. Not surprizing that people decided to live here. Then she closed her eyes and relaxed, the steam and walls enveloping her, drowning her in a warm, comforting feeling of security.
"Shit !"
Lexa jumped at the loud thud and the yelled swearword. A few seconds of grumbling later Clarke appeared, a large wooden basin on her left arm, a torch in her right hand and her back bent in a strange angle.
"Sorry I yelled" said the blonde with a small smile, dropping the basin and its contents on the floor next to Lexa then rubbing her lower back "I slipped and fell on my butt, nothing alarming. Just fucking painful. The worst is that it happens all the time… Oh well" Clarke had talked fast, her tone light and joyful. Lexa decided she liked that Clarke a lot. She was different from the fierce leader she had met but she liked her like that. Free.
The brunette watched Clarke take out two piles of clothing from the basin and put them on one of the two metallic bars nailed parallel to the wall. On the other bar she put two large towels. She also took out a few white piece of cloth that she put on the ground and a big piece of soap. Then she filled the basin with water using a big cup. When the water reached half the height of the basin, the blonde turned to Lexa "So. Here we are huh ?"
Clarke released a breath like if she was preparing for any kind of challenge. Then something really unexpected (for the clouded mind of Lexa) happened. The blonde started removing her clothes and Lexa's eyes widened. When Clarke started to take of her pants, the brunette realized she had been staring and she averted her eyes.
"It's ok Lexa look at me" The poor girl shook her head, her face red in embarrassment "Fine but it's gonna be a pain in the ass for me to undress-uh unwrap you if you're so prudish !" Lexa's eyes then widened and she looked at the girl in sincere shock. Then her gaze fell on the blonde's body on their own volition and the brunette released a sigh (of what she didn't know). The girl was in undergarments. Of course she wouldn't be naked.
"Disappointed Commander ?" asked Clarke with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. But she didn't let Lexa the time to process this odd behaviour. An instant later, Clarke was squatting in front of her. "I'm sorry but I can't wash you if you keep those stinky pelts on you. I'm going to pull them off ok ?" Lexa swallowed with difficulty (she had a 'really mean' cold after all) and nodded. Clarke offered her a small smile before starting to unwrap the furs from around Lexa's body. And that was harder than expected. How did Lincoln managed to do that so fast and effortlessly, that she didn't know, but he did and now the blonde had the hardest time taking off those furs without hurting Lexa. But she achieved her goal eventually.
Lexa then was left in only her bandages and stained undergarments. She couldn't help but shy away again, ashamed and tense under the blonde's eyes.
"Hey, you remember I delivered Octavia's baby right ? First I saw more of my friend than I ever wanted. Second, it was a really, bloody, sticky mess, way more disgusting than-" she motioned to Lexa's lap "That. It's nothing compared to Octavia giving birth !" The smile on the blonde's face helped Lexa relax but just to be sure, Clarke whispered "For a moment I even thought I would've to reanimate Lincoln. The big guy almost fainted" At that Lexa couldn't help but smile slightly. Her old friend had always been a softie. "Here it is ! I like you way more when you smile" Once again Lexa didn't have the time to think because the blonde had grabbed her from under her arms and dragged her to the basin. "Here, we'll start with your hair" She leaned Lexa down and rested her neck on the pile of cloths. She gently grabbed her hair and plunged it into the hot water.
Lexa was used to people washing her hair. But the way Clarke was massaging her scalp was nothing in comparison. It felt so, SO much better. So her eyes closed and she relaxed in the touch. The brunette started thinking again. She thought about how much the blonde had changed. How can someone change so much in only two years ? Then she saw Clarke's shelter burn and the happy blonde's throat slit by the azgeda. She jumped and sat abruptly, eyes wide, breathless.
"It's ok Lexa, it was a nightmare, just a nightmare"
The brunette turned her head to look at the two worried blue eyes. Then she put all the effort in the world into lifting an arm, brush lightly Clarke's cheek with her fingers offering a small smile before wincing, letting it fall miserably on her lap. She groaned in pain of course. Clarke was aback for a second then scolded her "Lexa I told you not to move unless it's necessary !" Lexa smirked and huffed a little. At that the blonde's cheeks reddened "Don't want to listen to me ? fine !" Clarke suddenly started to pull off every single piece of cloth and bandages on Lexa. Soon she was sitting entirely naked in front of a really proud blonde. Lexa pouted and averted her eyes. She had no problem with nudity. But knowing that Clarke could see her so stained was the most shameful thing she ever had to endure.
"Now I need you to stay still" The blonde's soft, soothing tone was back and Lexa relaxed a little. Then her gaze fall on her now free from any bandage arm and a shiver ran down her spine. She had hundreds of tiny scratches, a few large cuts and a really big stitched wound on her biceps. Her heart started to beat faster and she hurriedly examined the rest of her body. Her ribcage too was covered in scratches and cuts and one of her breast was purple. She had another stitched wound right above her bellybutton and her legs were similar to her arm. Blue and yellow bruises were blooming everywhere. She should've been dead. Her eyes watered and fear seized her at the realization. She had been so close to death.
Like she had been reading her mind, the blonde kneeled between Lexa's thighs, gently embracing her "I told you. It's a miracle…" Lexa then nuzzled her head in the crook of Clarke's neck, face buried in blonde hair. At this exact moment she took a decision. She would fight. She would heal and stand and fight again. Something, someone somewhere had given her a second chance and she would embrace it.
When Clarke pulled back and looked at Lexa, her eyes opened wide in surprise. The fierce, piercing, strong green was back.