January 2007
Grissom had been in Massachusetts for nearly a week at this point. He arrived to find some modest living accommodations set up for him in addition to his own office space in the science wing's annex. He laid in bed that night and stared at the ceiling like he had for all the nights he'd spent there so far. He wasn't sleeping well. The taxation of the job still weighed heavily on him for one. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but there was another reason he wasn't sleeping. The lack of weight on the other side of the felt was eerie. It made him uncomfortable.
Each morning he rolled over and put his arm out to touch her. And each morning it hit the sheets beside him with a lonely thud. He missed her deeply, like he knew he would.
Sara woke up to again find an empty bed beside her. It had only been a week since he'd left but she still couldn't get used to sleeping alone. She kicked herself mentally. They had only been sharing a bed for a year had a half and living together for less than a year. She spent her whole life sleeping alone, why couldn't she shake this feeling? She shook her head trying to rid herself of the feeling, but she couldn't.
She got up and dressed for the day.
"Hello, class." Grissom addressed the lecture hall filled with graduate students. He turned the projector on and displayed a timeline of Walden Pond Flies. He taught the lecture every Tuesday and Thursday for three hours. In between, he held two hours of office hours. He found himself taking long walks in the cold around campus when he wasn't doing research or holding class. It was doing wonders for clearing his head.
Each day he would take a long walk around the pond, through the perimeter of campus and around the student center.
On one of these walks he spotted something against a building. A small cocoon wrapped around a bush's bare branch. He leaned in close to realize that this cocoon was still alive, having made its nest near the heat of the building's exterior vents. A smile crept onto his face as his heart began to flutter.
He hurried back to his office to grab a garden cutter, box and some soft paper, then quickly returned to the building's side.
Gently, he cut the branch free from the bush and gently placed the cocoon into the box. He brushed his thumb over it's shell carefully. He breathed in deeply, as if it were the first breath he'd been able to take in a long time.
"Sara, You feeling okay?"
She looked up to see Catherine standing there in the locker room's doorway. Sara had been seated on the bench, staring blankly at her shoes which she now realized she'd been doing for a while.
"Hm?" She snapped her head up quickly, "Oh, yeah-yeah. I'm fine." She paused, "Why?" She had a slightly defensive undertone that she was trying hard to mask. It wasn't working.
"You've been sitting there still for a while." Catherine moved into the room, "Something on your mind?"
Sara shrugged, "Long shift."
Catherine nodded knowingly, "You're at the end of a tripple, aren't you?"
"I suppose so."
"You know— I haven't seen you work this much overtime in years."
She shrugged again, "I'm always here when the lab needs me."
"You are." Catherine confirmed, "But... I guess I'm just realizing that you've done a much better job of actually going home after shift lately." She paused a moment before adding, "Don't let that slip away.. work-life balance is important."
Sara finally stood and grabbed her jacket from the locker. "Have a good night." Sara walked passed Catherine and down the hall. Her posture slightly slumped, a fact night lost on Catherine.
Sara walked into their home that night and sat on the couch finishing up a book she started the night Grissom left. She flipped to the last page and took a sip of wine as she read the last few words.
She stood and walked to the study where she returned the book to its rightful place on the bookshelf. She looked around to find another book to preoccupy her time with but nothing seemed to peek her interest. She then took a seat at his desk and looked around. She liked to look at his things. It made her feel a little closer to him. His entomology textbooks, pined up butterflies, notes scrawled across post-it notes.
Grissom sat behind his desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He suddenly felt very inspired, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He began to write:
Sara,
Our parting was awkward. I don't know why I find it so difficult to express my feelings to you. Even though we are far apart, I can see you as clearly as if you were here with me... I said I'll miss you, and I do.
He paused a minute to think. Suddenly not being able to find the right words for her again. He quickly turned to grab his shakespeare poetry book and flipped to a familiar page. He began to write again.
He finished copying over the sonnet and looked down at the paper, reading it once more. He smiled. He placed it in an envelope and then in the box with the cocoon.
Just as he was getting ready to seal up the box, a gut feeling told him to take the letter out. He fought the feeling for a moment but eventually caved. He became nervous suddenly that perhaps the letter wouldn't appropriately express his true feelings. Perhaps it left too much to interpret. He taped up the box and wrote the crime lab's address on it.
The letter was left on his desk.
Sara walked into the lab to clock in for shift. Two weeks. She'd thought to herself. He had been gone for two weeks.
"Sara." Judy from reception caught Sara's attention. "You have a package."
"I do?" Sara furrowed her brows as Judy handed her the small cardboard box. "Oh.." She looked down to see Grissom's handwriting scrawled across the top. "Thank you."
Sara made her way to the locker room and sat down on the bench. She tapped her fingers on the package for a moment. Should she wait to open it until later? Keep something to look forward to? Then she thought better of it and began to open the box, worried that if she'd wait the expectation of its contents would grow.
A quick flick of the wrist with a pocket knife and the box was coming open. She lifted some brown tissue paper to see a small branch with a cocoon nested inside of it. Carefully, she picked it up and brought it to eye level to examine its features. A small smile made its way to her lips and her heart began to flutter.
She lifted the rest of the tissue paper from the box to find a card or note accompanying it. Her once fluttering heart then sank with realization that none was included. She shook her head, typical Grissom.
She looked back at the small cocoon. She remembered something she'd read in one of Grissom's textbooks. A cool, dark place would be best cocoon. She thought a moment before realizing exactly where she should keep it.
Sara looked both ways before opening the door to Grissom's office. She hadn't been in there since he left. She looked around, noting the massive pile of mail and packages that lined his desk. She sighed, even when he's back he won't be around, she realized. Knowing fully that the backlog would consume his time.
She looked through his shelves and found an empty fish tank to keep the coccon and branch in. So that's what she did.
She took one last look at it before exiting his office.
"Oh, excuse me." A small voice spoke at her after bumping into her. A girl from Janitorial.
"I'm sorry." Sara bent down to pick up the mop the young her had dropped.
"I—I—I was just going to clean Dr. Grissom's office."
Sara nodded and walked off.
Every night Sara would come into shift and b-line for Grissom's office to check up on the cocoon. It's status unchanging.