Another short chapter I know but the next ones should be around 3000 words I think (and will be published a little late because I kinda have a lot of things to do these days, sorry for that)

Also... Don't hate me...?

Day 165

Lexa sighed "Ok let's take a break"

Clarke fell on her knees "Oh thank god ! You're ruthless Lexa, if I can walk after that it'll be a miracle !"

"Two hours and you still can't hold a sword properly. Another session like this one and I will reconsider your plan…"

"NO ! Please don't ! I'll work hard ! Please !"

Lexa turned to hide her smirk. Too easy. "I will go take a look at Lincoln. Rest while I am gone and think about what I taught you"

The brunette distinctly heard Clarke's depressed sigh before closing the door of the backyard made training ground. Her feet led her easily in the labyrinth of corridors and doors that was Luna's castle. After a while her pace quickened and a few moments later she was in Lincoln's room. There, she found the man in his bed playing with his daughter on his lap. On a chair not too far nor close to the bed, Octavia was sitting, gazing at the two most important persons of her life. The young mother looked so broken that Lexa wasn't sure she would ever be able to heal. Heal. She scoffed to herself. Of course she would never heal. You don't just heal from those things. Even years and lovers later, the void would still be there, that Lexa was sure of it. She knew more than anyone the feeling of losing the one you were living for. Soon Octavia would be an empty shell, a shadow of herself and Lexa couldn't do anything to change that. Her brother-like friend was dying and Octavia was shattering right in front of her and she couldn't do anything. Flashbacks of two winters ago submerged her mind despite her efforts to chase them away and she could feel her knees weaken with each second passing.

"Lexa. How is Clarke doing ?"

The tired voice of Octavia gently brought her back to reality and she was grateful. She cleared her throat "I came to see Lincoln but, I can come back later"

Octavia shook her head "No it's ok. I need some air anyway. Rooms without windows tend to make me nervous." She stood and Lexa thought she would crumble not a step later but she somehow made her way to the bed. She lifted Selina, taking her in her arms and instantly her back straightened and her head raised. Her eyes left the ground to look in front of her and Lexa's heart warmed up.

"I'll go say hi to Clarke."

"You remember the way ?" Octavia nodded and exited the room. Lexa sat on the chair. *How do you feel ?*

The man smiled *Restrained. Staying in bed is not exactly what I have been made for*

Lexa snorted *Indeed that is true.*

*How is Clarke doing ?*

*Better than I thought. She is talented. If she trains everyday starting today, she might be ready in less than three month*

Lincoln raised an eyebrow, barely holding his smirk *You mean she will be able to make in three month what took you three years ?*

*Shut up. I was eight.*

*She grew up in space*

Lexa smiled, defeated *You're right. She's a prodigy. But don't you dare saying that to her*

*Don't worry. I know your methods of training. But be careful, she might end up hating you !* and he laughed at the suddenly offended face of his commander.

*I'm not THAT harsh… Am I ?*

*You're a good trainer. But never forget that children are like small animals, they like treats and being praised*

Lexa frowned *Clarke is not a child nor an animal*

*It does not change the fact that you need to reward her sometimes.*

*How ? I can't give her sweets !* she laughed lightly.

*Show her you're proud of her* he paused *But sweets might do the trick too.*

Lexa laughed again, more frankly this time *Maybe !* She calmed down and added *But I'm always proud of her you know ? I'm still convinced I don't deserve her friendship.*

Lincoln rolled his eyes *Can I ask you why, while I should be worried about my family, I worry more about you ? Who'll scold you for saying those stupid things when I'll be gone ?*

Lexa's smile disappeared *You know it's false. I can hear your prayers concerning Octavia from here. But you're right. Your wife is strong. Probably stronger than I was.* she thought and shook her head *No. Stronger than I am.*

A large but sad smile spread on the man's face and Lexa wished she had never seen it *I know. I knew it from the very first time I saw her, that she would be a strong woman. But you know, when we realized that Octavia was pregnant, I promised her I'll be there the whole time, from the beginning to the end. It seems I won't be able to keep that promise after all…*

Lexa shook her head *You're mistaken my friend. You were there when she needed you most and you'll never leave her side. Death is not the end*

*I know this but-* his voice got caught in his throat and he took a deep breath *Promise me my friend, promise me you'll be there if she needs you. You and Clarke are the only one I trust enough to do that*

Without the shadow of an hesitation, Lexa nodded, standing to lightly squeeze his arm *I promise you Lincoln*

He offered her a small smile *Thank you. At least I can die in peace now.* Silence fell and when Lexa heard him take a deep breath, she let herself fall back on her chair, back curled on itself, elbows on her knees. The man brought an arm to his eyes and added, voice broken *I won't see her grow up Lexa…*

At that the girl's head dropped, her gaze falling to the ground, lost somewhere, her voice barely above a whisper *Yes.*

"Damn what the hell !? For how long have you been rolling on the ground to be so covered in mud !?"

"Dunno and don't want to. Now be kind and go search for my pride. I think I let it fell somewhere in the corner."

Octavia laughed. Clarke was sitting on the muddy ground, face turned to the sky, eyes closed, arm pointing to a small island of grass "Lexa can't be THAT mean right ?" Finally the blonde looked at her with a raised eyebrow, in a mix of despair and disappointment. Octavia laughed again and strangely, Selina followed "Seems like the commander can be something else than a submissive bottom with you after all !"

Clarke sighed "You have no idea… She has been so sweet these past months I almost forgot that the first time I saw her I almost peed my pants. Now I remember the feeling and damn I did not miss it at all…"

"Liar."

The blonde smirked "Maybe."

"You plannin' on sittin' there in the dirt for the rest of the day or…"

Clarke made her best puppy eyes "Stop reminding me I can't fucking stand !"

Octavia giggled and went to sit on the bench against the wall on Clarke's left.

The blonde frowned "What are you doing ?"

"Just waiting for heart eyes to come back and kick your dirty ass."

Clarke sniffled "You're mean…"

"Octavia, will you do us the pleasure to stay to watch ?"

Lexa appeared in the small courtyard and Octavia burst out laughing, followed by her daughter once again. Clarke sighed. Lexa smirked. She approached the poor blonde, a piece of cloth in one hand and a flask in the other. The trainer kneeled down in front of her pupil. "Close your eyes and don't move." Clarke did as said and Lexa poured some water on the cloth before using it to clean the blonde's muddy face. Finished with her meticulous cleaning she gave the flask to Clarke "Here, drink."

The blonde did as said and stopped to look at Octavia when she heard a chuckle. The brunette grinned widely "What a torture indeed…"

Clarke rolled her eyes and Lexa frowned. She had obviously missed something. She shrugged it away though, standing, grabbing the blonde's shirt, lifting her in the air, putting her on her feet. She picked up the flask and cloth, walked to the bench, placed them there and retrieved two swords. She threw one to Clarke's feet and approached her again but this time, taking a fighting stance *Break over. Now we fight.*

Octavia whistled in awe and Clarke offered her her best 'told you' eyes before bending to grab the sword only to be pushed back on the ground, ass in the mud.

"Again." Lexa ordered and from behind she could hear Selina's laugh.