2. The Breakup
After their flight had gotten in late last night, Castle and Beckett had gone their separate ways for the night. As they had planned, during their flight back, they had discussed their new-found status.
They had agreed that the only people who could know were Martha, Alexis and her father, simply immediate family, but only after she had broken things off with Josh.
It's why she was here now: sitting in her car in the hospital parking lot. It would have been so much easier to call him and do this over the phone but he deserved more than that especially as she had been avoiding his calls for the past few days.
Beckett turned off her car and made her way inside where she waited for a few minutes until Josh came out of surgery.
"You don't call," Josh said as he found Beckett in the doctor's lounge. "You don't text. You know I think I must have left seven messages and not once did you call me back."
"I'm sorry," said Beckett.
"That's it Kate, you're sorry? I had to call down to the precinct to find out where you were. You couldn't have bothered to tell me?"
"No I couldn't. Not without wasting valuable time."
"On a case that wasn't even yours!"
"Josh, it's complicated."
"Then uncomplicated it for me," he said to her. "The night you left we were supposed to have gone out to dinner remember?"
No she didn't remember. After finding Royce in that alley she had completely forgotten about the other priorities in her life. As it was it was difficult dating a doctor even more so one who was a surgeon. The problem was Josh hadn't respected her work enough the way she had tried to respect his.
He fixed people physically, he saved people's lives. She fixed people emotionally, she got justice for those who couldn't do it themselves. Why couldn't he see the two were mutually exclusive and that her job was just as important as his? The answer was easy. He'd never fully accepted she was a cop. He couldn't understand why someone, let alone a woman, could sacrifice their own life for a complete stranger.
Josh shook his head, "Of course you don't remember. How could you?"
"Josh the reason I forgot about us was because the case I was working on involved a friend of mine."
"A case that writer boy just happened to help you with." This stunned Beckett. "Yeah I know about that too."
Castle. She was trying to be honest about a friend who died and all he could think about was how Castle had been with her. Had he always been so threatened by him and she'd never seen it?
Beckett tried to say something but fumbled so Josh spoke instead. "I'm not a cop but the second you leave town so does he. It wasn't hard to figure out."
"He's my partner," Beckett defended, "He helped me solve my case."
"He's not even a cop."
"I don't have to explain my arrangement to you."
"Clearly you don't have to explain anything to me since you never do. Why is that, Kate? I ask about your mom, you tell me she died. I ask about your dad, you tell me he's around. Is there anyone who has been able to break down those walls of yours? You're problem is you don't let people in." Josh didn't have to wait for a reply, he all ready knew. "Castle is the only one who can isn't he? Why doesn't that surprise me? He has feelings for you, Kate. You can see that at least can't you?"
"I can," Beckett admitted, "That's why I can't do this anymore. This thing between us."
Josh nodded, "This thing between us is called a relationship."
"But it's not!" Beckett shot back, "We rarely see each other as it is. You're on call and when you're not you're out of the state or out of the country."
"So you're turning this around on me now?"
"No, it's about us. About our work. You save lives and that's great but my career is just as important and you don't get that."
"You're right, I don't. How do you do it? How do you go out with a gun strapped to your hip chasing bad guys?"
"I do it for their families. Not everyone can get the luxury of finding the person responsible for killing a loved one. If I can do that for one family or more then it's what makes my job worth it.
"Maybe but let someone else do it. You should…"
"What have a baby and a diaper bag strapped to my hip instead?"
"Why not? Wouldn't you want to have a family of your own instead of helping out other familes?"
"I can't believe you would ask me that. This is my job. If that's the kind of life you want that's great but I love what I do. I love being a cop."
"And Castle is going to be the one by your side while you do it isn't he?"
"I need him by me. I have to give what we have between us a shot."
"He's gone through two failed marriages. He can't commit. He's not right for you, Kate."
"I have to try. It may work out, it may not but I need this. I need him."
"I'm getting that."
Beckett reached up and placed a kiss on Josh's cheek. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Josh, I really do. It's just not with me."
"Kate."
"Goodbye Josh."
As Beckett made her exit out of the lounge, leaving Josh behind, a smile crept across her face. She knew she had done the right thing.