AN: This is now the biggest chapter I've ever posted of all time. Two big chapters in one essentially but I couldn't break them up. Songs for this chapter are "Say" by John Mayer, "E.T." by Katy Perry and the 'essential' "Stay (ft. Mikky Ekko) by Rihanna. You can find them all on youtube if you do not have them. This one is done with much love and appreciation for my loyal fans who've been in the journey with myself and the characters!- Wild
Ziva smiled softly at Julia's question of when the wedding was, blushing slightly with small shrug. "Tony and I haven't really talked about it." Her eyes flashed up to meet Julia's, "Soon, I hope." She ran her hand over her belly.
Julia smiled, "You should get dressed. E.J. is on her way up. I will get the door." She left the room as quickly as she entered leaving Liat and Ziva standing where she'd found them and watching her go.
"How does she know that?" Liat asked bewildered that Julia would know E.J. was on her way up.
"She just does." Ziva slowly shook her head with a soft smile, so thankful to have Julia back and alive. "Let's get ready." She turned the smile on Liat.
Tony had finished getting ready and was standing in the living room speaking with Jack when Julia breezed back into the room. Before they could speak, she walked straight for the door and opened it revealing a stunned E.J. holding the cake. Quickly, Julia slid her arms under the large pink pastry box that E.J. was in the process of dropping at the sight of Julia and smiled.
"Hello E.J." Julia smiled stepping back with the cake box in hand.
"You're here…and alive!" E.J. gasped in astonishment with face lighting into a smile. "Argh!" She screamed in delight and flung her arms around Julia's neck. "Thank God! We were so worried!" She cried tears of joy with her arms tightly around Julia's neck. "Are you okay? It's so good to see you again!"
"I'm okay," Julia chuckled softly at all the hugs she was already receiving with everyone's excitement to see her again. "It's good to see you again as well."
"Did you know she was coming?" E.J.'s eyes caught Tony's smiling ones over Julia's shoulder before pulling back.
"No," Tony shook his head softly smiling, "It was a nice surprise to come home to." He glanced at Julia.
"Jack!" E.J. smiled seeing him beside Tony, "It's good to see you again too!" She stepped forward kissing his cheek as he did hers. "Everybody together again!" She squealed with delight watching Julia walk into the kitchen with the cake box, "Ziva must be over the moon to see you. She was so worried about you."
"She is." Tony chuckled softly thinking of Ziva's excitement at seeing Julia and not wanting to let her go. He was nervously shifting as he stood, running his thumb back and forth over the beer bottle's peeling label watching Julia and wanting a moment alone to speak with her. Apologize and figuring out what to say that wouldn't end by once again insulting her. He watched E.J. and Julia chat for a few minutes out of the corner of his eye when Jack finally nudged his arm with a smile.
*Say (repeat)
"Just go talk to her." Jack smiled softly nodding towards Julia. "She won't bite." It was fairly obvious to Jack the change in Tony's behavior around Julia now since he'd last seen them together at the ranch. Given what had happened on their mission, he understood Tony's hesitancy now around his wife. "I know she'd like a moment alone to speak with you as well."
"She does?" Tony's eyes widened slightly, gulping at the thought, "What does she want to say to me?" He worried she was going to let him have it for not listening and nearly killing her.
Jack chuckled softly shaking his head, "I think you're just going to have to find out on your own, Tony." He took a sip of his beer. "Just don't insult her anymore." He raised one eyebrow with a knowing intent stare and more serious tone.
"Never again." Tony shook his head softly with shame seeing Julia smile and laughing with E.J. in the kitchen and sighed. "I should apologize to you as well, Jack. My thoughtless actions nearly robbed you of the woman you love. I'm sorry." He looked Jack in the eye to convey his sincerity.
Jack looked at Tony carefully, "I appreciate the sentiment, Tony. And as angry as I was with you for it, I also understood it. Julia is the love of my life. The thought of losing her," He paused swallowing the lump in his throat as he looked at the beautiful woman in the kitchen, "Is my worst nightmare. I understand why you were afraid for Ziva. And I understand why Julia made the choice to save you at the expense of herself."
Jack's words caused Tony's heart to constrict painfully both to hear the man's empathy over the situation and to hear once more, that Julia had made the conscience decision to save his life at the expense of her own.
"Talk to her." Jack nodded again with a soft smile towards Julia in the kitchen. "Before your' other guests arrive."
Tony took a deep a breath and nodded softly at Jack for the vote of confidence and strolled into the kitchen with a smile. "Sorry to interrupt," He looked between Julia and E.J., "Julia, can I speak with you alone for a moment, please?"
Julia nodded softly and E.J.'s eyebrows rose with a soft smile looking at Tony and giving him a small wink of encouragement to hear him want to speak with Julia alone, knowing he was likely going to be apologizing for what happened. She squeezed his arm gently on the way by and excused herself into the living room to speak with Jack.
"Maybe we can step out onto the balcony for a moment?" Tony suggested thinking of somewhere more private then the kitchen and Julia nodded softly leading the way.
Tony's heart was pounding following her out onto the balcony as his nerves began to rattle over what to say to her.
Julia stopped at the balcony's edge looking over the beautiful city spread out before her and waited for Tony to speak.
"First, I want to say 'Thank You' for saving my life, Julia." Tony came to stand beside her, looking out at the city view first while finding his courage and then turning to look at her profile. "You didn't have to and yet you did. Thank you... Second," He forged on before he lost his nerve, "I want to apologize for ever putting you into the situation in the first place. For not listening to you even though you warned me countless times. I am sorry. And I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time in the days leading up to that mission and during. I was reacting emotionally without thought to the consequences of my actions for everyone else, especially you. I am sorry, Julia."
Julia was quiet for a long moment as she listened to Tony and finally when he had stopped speaking she turned to look at him.
"I am sorry, Julia." Tony repeated now that she was looking into his eyes, wanting her to see his sincerest apologies and remorse for his actions that had nearly cut her life short.
Julia nodded softly and turned her gaze back out onto the city, quiet again as she mulled over what he had said and what she was thinking.
Tony didn't know what to do with her reaction and so he simply stayed quiet.
"I accept your apology, Tony." Julia finally spoke quietly and flashed her eyes to his, "And I hope you will accept mine."
Tony's eyes narrowed instantly and stood a little straighter not understanding. "For what?" He asked quietly.
"You were not the only one to react emotionally that night to the situation." Julia began explaining, wrapping her hands around the iron railing of the balcony and squeezing as if trying to control her emotions even now. "When I saw the glimpse of the future and what was going to happen that night, I saw the both of us reacting emotionally to different things that would ultimately bring about the end result where I would kill you with my abilities and in doing so, I would take on your injuries and die myself without enough energy to recover. I did not see what it was going to be that would set off my emotional reaction." She paused speaking quietly.
Tony swallowed hard, remembering what it was that had set her off. Remembering Ziva recanting to Katherine the moment Julia had lost it and set the place ablaze and it was the reminder of how her own child was killed, so emotional for her that it was what caused her evolution into The Phoenix in the first place.
"But I did see what would cause your emotional reaction. I could only hope, that you would listen to me and stay put in that room where I would be able to shield you from the fallout of my own emotional reaction." Julia tried to explain, "With that much power built up and releasing from me, I could not stop my own reaction, only hoped to shield all of you from it."
"And you were," Tony said forcefully, shaking his head at the idea she was now blaming herself for what happened, "I was the one who didn't listen to your instructions and didn't stay in the room. If I had, we would have all come out of that mission unharmed."
"Tony," Julia began shaking her head softly trying to accept her own share of the blame.
"Julia, you were at least thinking about the repercussions of your actions on others. I wasn't at all. I was only thinking about what I wanted and getting to Ziva. I didn't stop for a second to think about what my actions were going to do to you or anyone else." Tony shook his head softly, "You did your best to protect us all and I only cared about protecting Ziva. I was the selfish one here, please let me own it."
Julia sighed, "We both share responsibility in this."
"Fine. You can claim 1% of the responsibility and I will claim the other 99%." Tony smiled softly at her, bouncing his shoulder off hers' slightly as he turned to look over the city with her.
"Oh, Tony." Julia sighed with a smile softly chuckling at him and his continued insistence.
"You gave your life for me, Julia." Tony sobered seriously reaching out to lay his hand over hers' gripping the balcony railing and feeling the warmth and tingle from the contact. "You knew you were going to end up doing so on this mission and yet you still went anyway." He swallowed hard thinking of her preparations with the body bag and back up plan for a pickup.
"I did not know for certain. There was still a possibility that you would have listened and stayed in that room where I put you." Julia shook her head with tears welling in her eyes.
"But you were certain, that if I didn't listen to you…you were going to save me at the expense of your own life." Tony felt his own tears welling at seeing hers and remembering the sight of her bleeding and lifeless body lying on the ground.
"I had to." Julia countered softly, "I could never live with myself if I killed you, Tony. Not when all you were doing was trying to get to and protect the one you love."
"But you didn't have to go on this mission at all. If you knew this was going to happen, you didn't have to come and you did. Why?" Tony asked quietly wanting to understand.
"Because I had to help, Tony. I was once in a place in my life where no one wanted to help me even if it was the right thing, just like with Ziva. The only way that evil prevails is when good people stand by and do nothing. I could not do that. I could not let that happen. What kind of example and mother would I be to deny someone my help when they so desperately needed it?" Julia's brilliant eyes with unshed tears looked deeply into Tony's. "I would rather die doing the right thing, because I cannot bare to live in a world or have my children face a future where people are more comfortable letting evil prevail than having the courage to confront it head on."
The passion in which she spoke was incredibly moving to Tony and he once again shook his head in awe at this woman beside him. It made all the more sense in hearing her speak how it was that she became the voice and reason for change, to be the one who led the rebellion and revolution and fought the old evil Council, bring them down. She was constantly willing to sacrifice herself for the good of others in doing what was right and not what was easy. In her life, in her love and in her liberty she had made personal sacrifices, of her own free will and not forced upon her, to better the lives of others. Her heart and love for others, truly was her greatest gift. And it was likely why, Tony began to reason, every time she had sacrificed her life so selflessly for another she would rise again from the ashes stronger and more beautiful than before. She truly was The Phoenix.
"You are utterly amazing, Julia." Tony marveled quietly with a soft smile staring into her beautiful eyes, "You may be a gift from God. You may be an angel sent to save us from ourselves. But you are still the most extraordinary human being, I have ever met." He smiled more widely seeing the effect on her, his words had at calling her a 'human being' and knowing how much that meant to her to be seen as such. "And you are certainly the most amazing mother I have ever known. Your children are blessed to have you in their corner."
"Thank you." Julia answered him with a small smile and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "They are the light of my life. My most treasured gifts."
"Your son, Kristoff, is extraordinary just like you." Tony smiled thinking of the boy who had taught him so many things in such a short amount of time. "You were right when you said that children are a good balm for the wounds in the soul."
Julia was quiet a moment with a soft smile on her face feeling Tony's gaze on her, "You were very good with him that day, Tony. Thank you."
"You know about that?" Tony asked slightly startled and then smiled nervously, "Did he tell you or have you seen our memories?" He asked with a slight tease remembering her abilities to see such things.
"Yes, Yes, and Yes." She answered with a growing smile that he'd asked so many questions of her not waiting for the answers, "But also, I was there too, you know." Her eyes twinkled dangerously with a charming smile as Tony froze in the moment and mouth fell open slightly.
"You…heard us?" Tony gulped quietly thinking about Julia's still form that day lying unconscious on the hospital bed.
"I did." Julia answered with the same quiet softness in her voice and this time, she laid her hand over Tony's on the railing in support. "Your mother would be very proud of you, Tony." Her beautiful swimming eyes of black and gold found Tony's intently and smiled, "My son was right. You will be a good dad."
Tony's mind was rapid firing with feelings and memories from that day and of his mother and stopped sharply on one defining moment in particular.
"When I said 'goodbye' to my mother…that was you?" He asked with choked voice remembering seeing the flashes of his mother's face so clearly in the hospital bed instead of Julia's, giving him a chance to say the goodbye he was never able to before; the one that had set him free from the past.
Julia only inhaled deeply with a soft smile and reached up slowly, cupping the side of Tony's face with one hand and gently kissing his cheek on the opposite side.
Her touch and the kiss made Tony's whole body tingle with warmth and a feeling of comfort and when she pulled back, he knew. The gift of forgiveness and goodbye to his mother had indeed come from her. Even in her own tremendous state of suffering in healing her damaged body, she had found a way to help heal what was still broken in his' own soul.
"Thank you." He sighed quietly with new tears and leaned forward, kissing her forehead once more as he had that day.
"Happy Birthday, Tony." Julia smiled speaking quietly.
"So what is on the menu for this evening?" Julia asked Ziva standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of wine for herself with a smile and topping off E.J.'s glass.
"Pizza." Tony and Ziva responded simultaneously as Jack and Tony joined the ladies in the kitchen, waiting on their other guests.
"Tony's favorite of course." Ziva answered smiling as Tony wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"Definitely not Siroc. We owe you another night out." Tony apologized with a smile, knowing that pizza in no way made up for their elegant evening out at one of the best restaurants in D.C.
"Does that mean you're going to babysit?" Jack teased with a smile, wrapping his arms around Julia from behind as well, dropping a kiss to her bare skin shoulder and swaying them both slightly as if dancing.
"Um," Tony balked and then smiled with a new, found sense of confidence, "sure!" He nodded while Ziva, Liat and E.J.'s eyes all widened at his volunteering.
"All six of them?" Jack looked at him incredulously with raised eyebrows and a smile.
"Yeah, it could be fun." Tony smiled more widely at the thought, "How about tomorrow night?"
"I don't know. All six by yourself, Tony?" Julia smiled shaking her head softly trying not to laugh, "Two precocious four year olds, a toddler and newborn twins all at once. I appreciate the gesture but it is a lot for one person to manage even with experience…"
"But I won't be alone. I'll have my Ninja here with me who is amazing with children." Tony volunteered Ziva with a smile and kissing her head, "It will be good practice for us."
"And I will help too." Liat smiled softly with equal parts excitement and nerves at the prospect. "It is the least we can do for all that you have done for us. You deserve a night out."
"See!" Tony smiled more widely, "There you go! The three of us should be able to handle it. Two Israeli Ninjas and one very Special Agent at your service, My Lady." He bowed slightly with a smile.
"Okay," Julia smiled softly with a soft head nod, "You're on. You can come to our house tomorrow around 5:30. Will that be okay?"
"Perfect." Tony smiled widely. "I'm excited to see Kristoff again."
"I'm sure he'll be excited to see you again as well." Julia smiled softly. "Your first wave of guests is coming down the hallway."
"Which ones?" Ziva asked with a tugging smile on her lips to see the twinkling in Julia's eyes that she understood the secret.
"The steely eyed silver fox and company." Julia smiled with a wink.
"They're here!" Ziva pushed Tony back playfully. "Go answer the door and see who it is."
"Well that description only fits one person, Ziva." Tony chuckled, "Gibbs!" He walked towards the door and flung it open. He gasped when the first person he saw was not Gibbs but his father. "Dad! What are you doing here?" He gaped in surprise. "I thought you were still in Europe?"
"And miss the first ever birthday party for my only son in thirty years?" Senior smiled more widely, "Never." He stepped forward engulfing Tony into a hug, "Happy Birthday, Junior."
Tony hugged him more tightly as well with a smile, "Thank you for coming. And for everything else." He added quietly knowing that it was originally his father's idea to contact The Phoenix. "Schmeil!" He smiled more widely seeing the older man smiling standing beside Gibbs. "Get over here." Tony waved him forward and hugged him as well. Having not seen either his father or Ziva's surrogate grandfather since they'd left Israel to find The Phoenix. "Boss, Fornell." He smiled at them over Schmeil's shoulder. "Thank you all for coming."
"Happy Birthday DiNuttso." Fornell smiled shoving a wrapped gift box into Tony's chest, "Before you get too excited wondering what it is, it's a 20 year old bottle of Scotch. I figured you're going to earn it living with two pregnant women at the same time." He winked at Tony and then slapped him hard on the back stepping into the apartment.
"Happy Birthday, Tony." Gibbs smiled at hearing Tobias's comment and shaking his head softly, handing him another gift box.
"Thanks, Boss." Tony stepped forward giving the man a hug.
All of them were surprised when Vance appeared at the doorway holding a gift and wearing a sheepish smile as well.
"Happy Birthday, DiNozzo." He smiled softly with a soft head nod and stepped inside, passing his gift to Tony as well.
Tony was surprised to see him here after their exchange in Israel and looked down at the gift in his hands. Underneath the delicate white ribbon surrounding the package was a real olive branch and Tony smiled, understanding the gesture; an offer of peace, and to put the past behind them as they started new beginnings.
"Thank you for coming, Director." Tony smiled extending his hand for Vance to shake.
"Sweet Mary Mother of God," Anthony gasped stepping further into the living room looking across the way with eyes landing on Julia, "Who is that beautiful creature?"
Tony snorted back a chuckle shaking his head, that of course his father would say something like that upon first meeting Julia.
"Dad, Schmeil, Fornell, Director Vance allow me to introduce you to Julia Taylor, otherwise known as The Phoenix." Tony smiled as Julia and the others began walking towards them, hearing the men gasp with astonishment. Vance had only ever seen her in files and footage but never in the flesh.
"Wow, you are a knock out, Sweetheart." Anthony smiled widely turning red while the others chuckled and Julia seemed amused stepping forward to greet them.
"Thank you, Mr. DiNozzo." Julia smiled when he kissed her hand in greeting and then proceeded to greet the rest of them as well. "Director Vance." Julia regarded him coolly with a tight smile, still clearly on edge around the man she knew had been one to hunt her over the last few years and also responsible for one of the Elite Human Weapons Programs in Operation Frankenstein.
"I didn't know you were going to be here this evening." Vance regarded her carefully, with surprise in his eyes taking in the reality before him in the beautiful woman standing just two feet in front of him after he'd spent so long trying to find her.
"I wasn't planning on staying. Tony and Ziva were kind enough to extend the invitation to stay." Julia answered stepping back.
There wasn't time for any further discussion when the next wave of guests arrived. Ducky, Palmer, Breena, Abby, McGee and Agent Borin all arrived at the same time with gifts and smiles on their faces. And as with the first group, all were astounded to see Julia, most for the first time after only hearing about her in stories.
"You know, Junior," Anthony leaned over speaking quietly into Tony's ear watching the greetings and introductions being made between Julia and the others, "She kind of reminds me of your mother." He marveled at the beautiful blonde before him.
Tony snorted again shaking his head with a smile, "Oh Dad…" He sighed at the irony that even his father made the link between the two women, "I think you're right. Both beautiful. Both extraordinary. Both amazing mothers." He smiled softly catching Julia's eyes.
"Agent Gibbs," Julia addressed the man before her with a teary-eyed smile for the first time, "Thank you." She spoke quietly, "For everything." She extended her hand to shake the man who had refused to leave her body behind, never giving up on her even after it seemed all hope was lost.
"We're a team." Gibbs smiled softly feeling, leaning in closer, "And we don't leave anyone behind." He whispered near her ear so only she could hear and then kissed her head, "Thank you, for everything you have done for my family, Julia." He looked intently into her eyes. Julia acknowledged him with a soft smile and head nod.
The front door had barely closed when it opened again revealing another gift bearing guest, Malachi.
"Happy Birthday, Tony." He smiled handing two gifts to Tony sheepishly standing in the doorway with eyes roaming immediately through the sea of people looking for Liat. His smile grew wider when she saw her on the other side of the room.
"Two gifts, Mal. You shouldn't have." Tony teased with a smile seeing Malachi's eyes already locked onto Liat's across the room.
"I didn't." Malachi forced his attention back to Tony with a soft smile, "One is from Asa. He knew I was coming this weekend and asked me to bring it." He leaned in closer, "The same blue dress from Morocco, I believe." He pulled back winking at Tony when he gasped.
"He didn't…" Tony nearly squealed paling considerably looking at the box in his hands with excitement. His fingers were itching to rip it out of the box and demand Ziva put it on instantly as his birthday gift but in glancing up at her now, she looked incredibly beautiful and sexy as it was wearing what she had on and he was perfectly content to save this dress for another occasion.
*E.T.
"Close your mouth, Mr. Palmer." Ducky chided with a soft smile later in the evening as all the men were congregated together on one side of the room watching the women on the other. Palmer hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from looking at Julia since his arrival and now his mouth was hanging slightly open as he stare.
The rest of the group of men all chuckled when Palmer straightened up immediately at being caught gawking at her, including Jack who only shook his head.
"It's just…" Palmer tried to explain what his fascination with her was and failed to find the words.
"It's okay, Palmer." Tony smiled glancing over to the group of beautiful women all smiling and laughing together, "I think everyone's a little bit in love with Julia. It's hard not to love an angel." He added softly and then smiled softly over to Jack with a slight nod of acknowledgement that he meant no harm or disrespect at all with the comment.
"That it is." Jack smiled softly looking at his beautiful wife. "I'm amazed everyday that she chose me."
"You clearly make her very happy, Jack." Tony smiled remembering what he'd walked in on earlier. "Six kids and you're still as much in love as two crazy teenagers." He chuckled feeling more free to speak with the alcohol now flowing freely through his veins hours into the party. "You should have seen those two making out on the couch earlier. I thought the apartment was going to go up in flames with the heated looks between you two." He shared with the rest of the men gathered and each laughed softly with widening eyes to hear such a thing.
Jack chuckled shaking his head and taking another sip of his own beer having had plenty himself. They all had in enjoying their birthday celebration with Tony. "We have lit a few beds on fire in our day." Jack raised an eyebrow and several men choked on their drinks.
"Seriously?" Tony asked leaning forward in awe as did McGee.
"Seriously." Jack answered with a proud smile, "Being with Julia is an out of this world experience." He added quietly.
"I can only imagine." Tony agreed quickly in his drunken haze, "Not that I have imagine being with her, that's not what I meant." He tried to clarify quickly causing the others to laugh softly at the look Jack was giving him, "What I meant was I can't imagine what that would be like to be with someone with her abilities given what I've seen. Hell, you touch her skin and you feel an all over body tingle, am I right?" He looked around the table for support that he wasn't alone in feeling her electric charge and everyone nodded, "I can't imagine how this beautiful alien angel creature is able to hold back that energy when everyone else is letting go." He waved his hand in a slow drunken circle, "That is what I meant as hard to imagine."
"Well, she doesn't always hold that energy back. Which is why she's set some beds on fire." Jack laughed shaking his head, "There has been more then one occasion, especially when she's pregnant and the crazy hormones take over, that she's stolen the breath right out of my lungs with her intensity and caused me to pass out."
Every man at the tables eyes widened considerably with Jack holding their rapt attention in imagining what it would be like to make love with an angel who had the power to incinerate someone to dust. It was as terrifying as it was thrilling to ponder what that experience would be like.
"You black out from lack of oxygen?" McGee asked quietly stunned. "She takes away your ability to breathe?" His mind was on overload looking from Julia to Abby and back again. He thought sex with her had been intense
"Not like you think." Jack shook his head smiling, "I forget to breathe with the intensity of being with her, my body can't handle it and it just goes into overload mode. Like I'm being electrocuted in the most amazing way possible with pleasure and I forget to breathe. Everything with her is amplified by a thousand percent and with her ability to control my body…" He looked at them with a slanted eyebrow and smile, "She won't let me go until she's ready. And especially so when she's pregnant. You'll see." He smiled at Tony more widely, "Just wait until Ziva hits the sixth month mark or so and her pregnancy hormones push her sex drive into overdrive. I thought Julia was going to kill me when she was pregnant with Lena but when she was pregnant with the twins!" He shook his head with a smile lifting his beer bottle again towards his lips, "Hang on my man for the ride of your life. Pregnant women, especially in their second trimesters are insatiable."
Tony gulped with eyes widening as he looked from Jack to all the other men at the table nodding in agreement; all having had pregnant wives before.
"I used to hide in the basement from Shannon sometimes just to get a break." Gibbs surprised them and caused everyone to laugh.
Tony's eyes landed on Ziva and began to smile looking at her sexy pregnant form with raging smile and couldn't wait for that stage to begin. He was looking forward to near death by pregnant Ziva with an insatiable appetite for him. He could think of much worse ways to die then in the arms of the woman he loved.
Malachi's eyes landed on Liat at the same time with a sad smile in looking at her; he only wished they could be sharing this experience together as the other couples around him were speaking of so fondly in remembering and looking forward to seeing Tony and Ziva sharing an across the room smile.
"What do you suppose they're talking about?" Ziva asked with a smile seeing every man across the room smiling with wide eyes and looking their way.
"The insatiable sex drives of pregnant women." Julia smiled more widely and all eyes whipped towards hers and she laughed softly. "Jack was just telling Tony to hang on for the ride of his life once you reached your sixth month or so given I nearly killed him with mine, in his own words. Men." She shook her head smiling and winked across the room at Jack causing all the other men at the table to gulp.
"My God…" Palmer began to sweat seeing the fiery look Julia was now giving Jack.
"And I thought the looks between you and Ziver were bad." Gibbs shook his head chuckling to see the intensity as well.
"Told you." Tony shook his head slowly with wide eyes and a smile. "Given the insatiable looks she's giving you now, are you sure she isn't pregnant now, Jack?" He asked with an amusing smiled, turning to look at Jack and teasing him given how Julia had been looking at him all evening.
Jack paused mid-drink with eyes widening at the prospect and the others laughed before he broke into a wide grin and shook his head, "I don't think so. She knows instantly given her abilities." He laughed softly, "But you had me scared there for a minute."
"You done having kids?" Tony asked still chuckling softly from the look on Jacks' face.
"I don't know." Jack smiled shaking his head. "But it'd be nice if the twins were at least a year old before another came along. Julia is always passionate. This is nothing new." He shrugged proudly looking at his beautiful wife, "She's got energy to burn and I'm happy to help." His intense gaze with hers had them all blushing.
"Well congratulations, Jack." Fornell raised his beer in toast to Jack, "You may be the first married man I've ever met that six kids in, you're still madly in love with your wife enough to light a room on fire with just a look." He chuckled.
"To love." Tony raised his bottle in toast as well and the others followed suit, clinking their bottles. "I can't wait to marry Ziva. And six kids in, I'm still going to look at her the way I do now. I promise you that." He nodded with intent eyes. "I am madly in love with that woman. More so every day." His gaze fell once more on Ziva's smiling eyes and beautiful face.
The others didn't doubt that considering how long Tony had already been in love with Ziva, and had been so more every day for the last seven, nearly eight years.
"So when are you going to marry her, DiNozzo?" Fornell asked grabbing a handful of Chex Party Mix.
Tony sighed with a contented smile, "Soon, I hope." He paused shifting in his seat with a more somber look coming over his face as his eyes flashed with Malachi's, "It just hasn't been a really good time to talk about it considering what happened with Liat." He paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. "She's been through a lot and needs Ziva's focus and attention right now. We can wait. Neither of us are going anywhere. We're not wasting the good, I promise." He looked over to Gibbs with a soft smile, "Believe me, we know exactly now how blessed we are to be together and aren't taking this chance for granted. We're taking time to cherish the little things and right now, that's spending time together and working on our 'whole' family's healing. Those two," He nodded towards Liat and Ziva, "Are healing each others' wounds from the past where their family is concerned. And I'm happy to help wherever I can."
The other men at the table all nodded in understanding except Malachi who couldn't tear his eyes away from Liat, feeling like he'd been punched in the gut in hearing Tony say how much she needed them to get through this and wanting to be there for her more.
"I'm proud of you, son." Anthony had tears glistening in his eyes to hear how much Tony had matured in the last year. "You are a good man." He smiled, "To my son," He raised another toast with pride, "Happy Birthday, Junior. May this year be the best yet!"
"To Tony!" The other's joined in with smiles sharing another toast.
When the last guests were leaving for the evening, Malachi had hung back, still not having a chance to really speak with Liat and hoping to at least wish her a goodnight and hope to find a better time to talk this weekend. Tony had already offered him to stay at his apartment since it was empty with Tony and Ziva staying at the Ninja Pad. He gladly accepted the offer. To his surprise, Liat approached him first the minute the door closed behind the last guests.
"Would you mind if I came with you?" Liat asked suddenly startling Malachi and immediately explained her intentions by that request seeing the look in his eyes, "It's not that. It is Tony's birthday…and I'd like to give them the night alone." She smiled softly over to Tony and Ziva holding onto each other with smiles near the door.
"Of course." Malachi swallowed the lump in his throat in understanding and yet nervous to be alone with her again for any length of time, both afraid and excited.
"I will get some things if you give me a few minutes." Liat spoke quickly, afraid she would lose her nerve if she didn't move quickly.
Malachi nodded, afraid to say anymore and stay still watching her leave the room quickly.
Tony and Ziva saw the small exchange and smiled at him coming to stand beside him.
"Thanks again for joining us and the gift, Mal. Glad you could make it." Tony smiled shaking his hand.
"Me too. Happy Birthday." Malachi smiled softly, firmly shaking Tony's hand as well, "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone in just a moment. I'm waiting for Liat." He announced feeling the need to explain his lingering when everyone else had gone.
"She's going with you?" Ziva asked with widening eyes of surprise.
"Yes," Malachi answered with a soft smile, "She wants to give you the night alone."
"She doesn't have to do that." Ziva sighed softly shaking her head and sharing a sad look with Tony at the sweet gesture but both knowing Liat wasn't ready to be alone for the night yet. The fact that she was willing to stay alone in an enclosed space with Malachi with so much unresolved between them, just to give Tony and Ziva a night alone was testament to how much she loved and cared for them.
"But I want to." Liat answered behind them with a small smile, "Happy Birthday, Tony." She reached for him first, kissing his cheeks and then reaching for Ziva, doing the same with a hug. "I will see you both tomorrow for our great babysitting adventure."
"You are babysitting tomorrow?" Malachi asked with narrowing amused and curious eyebrows, "Whose children?"
"Julia's." Tony smiled with pride still feeling the warm tingle of the alcohol and good vibes from the party. "We're on kid patrol tomorrow evening since we crashed The Phoenix's hot date with Jack this evening with this little get-together. We owe her at the very least, a night out." He paused, "I owe her a whole lot more than that, but we'll start here." He reasoned with a sharp nod of his head. "Want to join us?" Tony asked with a smile, "Give us better odds against six kids if there are four of us."
"Tony." Ziva chided him quietly looking at Liat's face and not knowing if she was ready to spend that kind of time with Malachi. Tonight was already pushing it.
Malachi sensed the tension immediately and saw the look in Ziva's eyes, understanding and politely found a way to excuse himself for the time being, "Perhaps, we shall see." He turned towards Liat taking her bag from the floor before she could protest, "Are you ready?"
"Yes." She nodded quietly and smiled once more at both Tony and Ziva. "Have a good evening."
"Call me if you need anything, Liat." Ziva reached for her arm speaking quietly and holding her gaze intently, "Promise."
"I will." Liat smiled softy, "I'll be fine. Have fun, sister." She kissed Ziva's cheek and moved quickly before she changed her mind.
*Stay (repeat til the end of the chapter)
The car ride to Tony's apartment was in silence as Malachi stared straight ahead driving and Liat looked out the window, both lost in their own thoughts.
When he parked the car, he quickly jumped out and raced around to the passenger side of the car to open the door for Liat with a smile.
Liat smiled softly at him that he had never done that before and instead of making a big deal over it, simply thanked him with a soft smile and 'thank you.'
Malachi only nodded and smiled softly in turn, carrying her bag along with his own into the apartment building. His hands shook with nerves as he slid the key into the lock and opened the door.
"And here we are. Tony's apartment." He smiled softly, flicking the lights on.
Neither one knew what to do after this moment and waited on the other's reaction.
Finally Liat spoke in the uncomfortable silence. "We should get to bed." She spoke quietly looking at the clock that already read well past midnight.
"Right, you must be tired after working all day and then the party. That's a long time on your feet." Malachi realized watching Liat run her hands over her belly and remembering what the pregnancy book had said about being on her feet for a long time. He started walking towards the bedroom and Liat froze where she stood.
"Where are you going?" She gulped seeing him going into the bedroom and unsure of what that meant.
"To the bedroom." He answered slowly pausing where he stood in the doorway, "I was going to put your bag in there for you."
"You're not going to sleep in there?" Liat asked nervously, running furiously nervous circles over her baby belly.
"No," Malachi shook his head slowly seeing the nervous look in her eyes, "I am going to make a bed on the couch." He nodded towards the sofa. "Is that okay?"
Liat sighed releasing the breath she'd been holding in and nodded in relief. "Okay. Thank you."
Malachi's heart was breaking to see the look on her face at being left alone with him in the bedroom and quickly moved to put her things down for her on the end of the bed. He turned down the blanket and sheets for her and then stepped back out of the room.
"There you go." He smiled softly setting his own bag down by the couch. "I just need to brush my teeth and the bathroom is all yours."
"Okay, take your time." Liat smiled softly and moved around him towards the bedroom, feeling silly that she was so nervous in his presence. The butterflies in her stomach had returned.
Malachi finished brushing his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror. His heart was heavy thinking about the woman he loved in the next bedroom, carrying his baby and yet afraid to be in the same room with him without another present. And he knew from the way she looked at him, it wasn't from fear that he'd hurt her like those men had during her captivity, it was from fear that he'd break her heart again. His mind was racing with flashbacks to the night he'd made love to her, each touch and kiss. The way her body felt on top and beneath his, surrounding him and he sighed deeply, shaking his head. How could he ever have been so stupid as to give her up? He shook his head in frustration that he couldn't go back in time and slap himself for ever, thinking that anything was more important than being able to love her and have her love him in return.
He rinsed his toothbrush and set it aside, bracing himself to say goodnight. Liat was sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed for sleep in the hot muggy summer of July wearing only a thin cotton tank top that hugged her pregnant belly perfectly, leaving just a sliver of bare skin visible before meeting her pajama shorts that slung low on her hips.
The sight of her brushing out her long dark blonde hair in the dimly lit room was enough to steal his breath. He swallowed hard when she turned to look at him standing in the doorway.
"I am finished in the bathroom." He paused with her intense gaze, "Goodnight Liat." He smiled softly and wrapped one arm across his chest nervously standing in nothing but his boxers and feeling shy for the first time in front of her. "Sleep well." He nodded and then turned around walking back towards the living room.
He stopped in his tracks to see the couch had already been made up with sheets, a pillow and blanket for him. Liat had been busy while he was in the bathroom and he smiled softly at her kind gesture. She too, had turned the sheet down for him as he'd done for her in the bedroom. Slowly he slid down onto the cool sheets, staring up at the ceiling as he heard her enter the bathroom and turn the water on. He could picture her brushing her teeth, he'd seen it so many times in their life together as partners and sleeping together he knew her nighttime routine by heart. He smiled softly imagining the toothbrush hanging out of her mouth as she then tied her hair back into a temporary knot at the back of her neck while she began her nightly ritual. Many times, he had teased her about why she didn't tie her hair into a knot before starting to brush her teeth? Why in the middle? And she would simply shrug with a smile around her toothbrush.
Liat was in the middle of tying her hair back when she thought of Malachi teasing her about the very thing as her toothbrush hung out of her mouth, held in place with tightly closed lips and a slight bulge in her cheek. So many nights they'd done their routines together and she didn't realize how much she had missed it until now, with him so close in the next room for the very first time and not doing their nightly routine together.
The sight of him wearing nothing but his boxers flashed through her mind and lit the spark of desire inside her again, craving his touch and tears welled in her eyes at how much she wanted him and was afraid of him at the same time. The last time she had given into these desires he left her in the morning for a better opportunity. Her tear-filled eyes flashed to her abdomen in the mirror, feeling her daughter suddenly kick wildly and turn inside of her belly. Their baby, she inhaled a sharp breath correcting herself with the reality. A baby created in love that night no matter how the morning had turned out. A baby she would never give up now even knowing how that morning would eventually turn out with Malachi leaving her. A baby that had become her salvation during the darkest days of her life. Her miracle and chance for a new beginning. Eden. She still had yet to tell Malachi what their child's name was.
When she finished in the bathroom she stepped into the darkened hallway seeing his still form lying in the pale blue moonlight on the couch, staring up at the ceiling lost in thought with his arms wrapped up around his head and another over his chest. She couldn't help but think of how beautiful he was and more tears welled in her eyes with the emotions at war within her.
"Goodnight Malachi." She finally spoke from her place in the hallway and then turned quickly before he could look at her.
"Night Liat." He whispered when he did finally turn to see her retreating form disappearing down the hallway.
They both lay in bed for several long minutes, staring at the ceiling and thinking about each other before Malachi couldn't take it and decided to make his move.
Quietly, he moved down the hallway with hand raised, about to knock with the other hand on the bedroom door handle and paused. He thought about what Ziva had told him about not pushing Liat, to let her lead and she would tell him what she needed and when. Right now, she needed space he realized from her actions. She had made sure he wasn't sleeping in the same room as her and she'd closed the door separating them further. No matter how much he wanted to talk to her and tell her again that he loved her and wanted a life with her, she wasn't ready and he needed to respect that. He sighed deeply, dropping his hand from the door handle and ran his hand wildly through his hair as he walked back towards the couch and lay down heavily onto the cushions. He realized now this was the agony that Liat had been in for years with him. Being so close to the one you love and being forced to wait, hoping that eventually they would love you back and give you another chance.
Liat had heard the soft footsteps coming down the hallway and for a moment, her heart raced and then froze hearing him stop outside the door with hand on the handle. She wondered if he was going to come in and what he would say, what would happen. She held her breath with both fear and excitement. When she heard his sigh and the footsteps walking away, she was even more surprised to find herself in tears again that he hadn't stayed. That he was respecting her space and had pulled back but this time, she didn't know if she wanted him to or not. He had clearly been working hard on respecting her for the last few weeks, not only in their conversations and not pushing her but also tonight at the party. He'd let her breathe and have space to have fun without feeling pressured to talk to him about their situation. He sat back with a soft smile and let her have fun and when they'd left together, respected her silence in the car. His small loving gestures of carrying her bag and turning down the bed for her weren't grand and overt as was his usual way, but subtle and in them, she could feel his love and care for her. It was, trusting that love that scared her. He had given her what she needed thus far, and she felt the need to give him something in turn.
Quietly, she slipped out of bed and opened the door silently, tip-toeing down the hallway with her stealthy skills she stopped suddenly to see he'd picked up his well worn pregnancy book and was reading it again in the soft moonlight, so engrossed in whatever he was reading he hadn't heard her coming and she watched him a moment.
Malachi suddenly felt her presence in the room with him and slowly he laid the book down on his chest, turning his head back to look at her over his shoulder, "Are you okay? Do you need something?" He asked worried seeing the unshed tears in her eyes.
Liat shook her head softly swallowing the lump in her throat, "I…I wanted to tell you that I've named the baby." Her heart was pounding furiously inside her chest and she was sure he could see it or hear it given how loud it was inside her own ears.
"Okay," Malachi turned softly, sitting up and setting the book aside looking at her in the darkness, "What is her name?" He asked quietly with a soft smile.
"Eden Ziva." Liat answered quietly waiting for his reaction.
A slow smile spread across Malachi's face looking at her and then to her belly with a soft head nod, "Eden Ziva." He repeated trying it out for the first time and sighed, "Brilliant new beginning." He smiled saying out loud what those two names meant together.
"Yes." Liat gasped with tears finally escaping that he knew what the name actually meant, with Eden meaning new beginning and Ziva as brilliant.
"It's beautiful." Malachi smiled feeling tears welling in his eyes he was trying hard to blink back and not get emotional in front of her. "Perfect." He nodded softly and a single tear escaped that he quickly wiped away, hoping she hadn't seen it.
Liat had seen it. And the other tears still glistening in his eyes and knew that it took a lot for Malachi to cry, especially in happiness and she stepped forward wanting to touch him and hold him, but fear stopped her. "Malachi…" She began unsure what to say to him, not sure herself what she was even thinking or feeling. "I am so confused."
"It's okay." Malachi stood walking towards her and closing the distance, stopping just in front of her and tilting her head up to look at him, "You are allowed to be confused after everything. I am not going anywhere. I told you that I loved you and I mean it, Liat. I am here for whatever you need. I will do for you."
Liat looked at him closely and felt more tears welling and falling from her eyes to see the love in his eyes reflected back at her and she nodded softly swallowing the lump in her throat with choked emotion. She couldn't help the small pained gasp from leaving her lips when he let his hand fall way from her face at the loss of contact, craving his touch. Her heart was pounding watching him turn around and walk back towards the couch.
"Malachi," She called out to him again softly, gaining his attention. This time when he stopped she closed the distance, pausing for just a moment before laying her palms against his bare chest searching his eyes for a moment before lifting up onto her tiptoes to kiss his lips sweetly. "Thank you." She breathed in a whisper mere inches from his face.
Malachi didn't trust himself to speak or to touch her again, his body was on fire just from feeling her palms on his bare skin and the kiss his against his lips. His mind was swimming and he felt dizzy from the slightest of contact, remembering his promise to her that he wouldn't kiss her again unless she asked him and balled his hands into fists at his side to hold back. He stepped back one step to give them distance.
Liat saw his concentrated efforts to maintain the distance and give her space and it only made her want him all the more that he was trying so hard to do right by her. "I do not know what this means or what I will decide about our future but… " She swallowed hard with new tears and closed the distance once more, "I can't promise you anything, Malachi…about our future by asking you this. You can say no, in what I'm asking of you right now if you need to, knowing that… I can't promise you anything for the future." She shook her head with rolling emotions desperately craving his touch and also scared of the unknown, but not wanting to hurt him either.
"What are you asking, Liat?" Malachi asked in a whisper having not heard her actually ask a question of him. His heart was pounding with the way she was looking at him.
"To kiss me. I need you to kiss me, Malachi." Liat answered in a whisper with more tears falling, "But I understand if you can't without my promise of what this means."
"I don't want to push you, Liat." He gasped wanting to badly to kiss her and so much more hearing her say she needed him in anyway.
"You aren't pushing me. I am asking you because I need this. I need to feel your touch again. My body is on fire right now and I…" She shook her head softly taking a deep breath, "I understand if you can't be with me without a promise of more. It is okay. Really." She straightened realizing how much she was asking of him with so much uncertainty between them.
"You want me to kiss you?" Malachi asked finding his mouth going repeatedly dry seeing her nod, yes. "And you want me to touch you?" He asked with fingers hovering above the bare skin of her shoulder, afraid to touch her as if being burned, without permission.
"Yes," Liat answered with tears dripping from her chin, "I need as much as you are willing to give me right now." She cried softly thinking about how long it had been since she'd felt this urge and been with anyone in such a loving and intimate way. Her desire to be touched in such a way was so strong and by him, someone she knew was capable of loving her tenderly was too much to ignore now, especially with her raging hormones and mixed emotions.
"You…want me…to make love to you?" Malachi asked in barely above a whisper hearing what she said and felt his own tears falling silently again down his cheeks.
Liat nodded softly, reaching up to brush his tears away with her thumb, "Yes." She answered in the same hushed tones, "I want you to stay with me tonight. If you are willing and understand…I can't promise anything for tomorrow."
Malachi nodded softly he understood and stepped closer, dipping his head his lips captured hers in a sweet kiss, hearing her cry at the fiery contact when their tongues brushed gently and her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers grazing wildly through his hair as their kiss turned passionate quickly. Malachi pulled back slowly trying to calm his breath and looked directly into her eyes, "Liat, are you sure about this?" He asked with deep concern, "I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."
"I am sure." Liat answered, even more so now hearing him say that, "This is what I need right now. To feel the touch of love again."
Tears ran more steadily from both of their eyes as he kissed her lips again, cupping her face and swooping her up into his arms he walked them slowly back towards the bedroom.
When he laid her gently back on the bed, he once again found her eyes, "If you change your mind at any time… tell me. It's okay and I will understand." He was terrified of hurting her and yet could see how much she needed this in her eyes and request, having promised her to do and be whatever she needed. If this, was what she needed to heal what was broken inside, then he would gladly be the one to show her this kind of loving touch again.
Liat nodded and cupped the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to meet with hers again. Her body was trembling with excitement and nerves as she felt his hands glide softly over her skin again. His light and tender kisses as he began trailing his mouth down her neck and cherishing every inch of her skin. His hand slid behind her back and sat her upright again, holding her eyes they both lifted her shirt off over her head. She gasped feeling his mouth and tongue swirl over her pounding pulse point at the base of her throat as he gently lay her back down again.
Malachi was shaking with anticipation and love as he trailed kisses over her body, wanting to cover every inch of her in love to wash away all the pain with silent tears still falling from his eyes. When he slid down her body, his hand came to rest on baby belly and gasped with new tears to feel the baby moving beneath his touch inside of her. He smiled up at Liat and then cupped her belly gently from both sides, placing a sweet kiss for the first time upon her smooth skin and the sweet baby girl beneath. His hands carefully slid Liat's shorts off and then his own, taking a deep breath once more looking down at her and blinking back more tears, wanting to tell her so many things and afraid to say too much at the same time. "You are so beautiful." He smiled through his tears and decided to show her everything else he wanted to say, but sure to tell her the one thing he had neglected to the last time, "I love you, Liat. Today, tomorrow, forever and always…no matter what happens between us. That will never change." He kneeled between her legs sliding his hands up her body and hovering carefully over her body, his face inches from her own as he kissed her again. Kissing away each falling tear.
With his inflamed body posed at her entrance, he asked again if she was sure, "Are you ready?" He asked giving her the control.
"Yes," Liat answered quietly, raking her hands up his sides and shaking. She gasped softly feeling her breath stolen and coming in small pants at feeling him slowly entering her and the sensations flooding her body.
"Are you okay?" He asked concerned seeing the flood of new tears and hearing the gasp and paused in his movements.
Liat couldn't speak, only nodded and pushed herself against him, encouraging him to keep going. When Malachi was fully inside he paused letting her body adjust and waited for Liat's nod to start moving. Slowly he pulled out again and began their new slow rhythm adjusting to a new way of making love and yet knowing exactly what the other was wanting and needing.
Malachi rocked back on his heels and pulled her up with him. Liat's legs wrapped around his waist with bodies still connected as closely as possible and settled into his lap as they slowly rocked against each other, savoring each touch and contact for as long as possible. Malachi wanted to give her as much pleasure as possible and with each touch and gesture, convey nothing but love and want of her. Their mouths kept meeting in sweet and sweaty kisses as they both worked towards release, moaning softly into each others mouths from the feel of each others body's in and around one another.
With her nerves on fire from the slightest of his touches it didn't take long for Liat's body to rocket into release gasping for breath and shaking around him as Malachi's mouth and tongue swirled around her pulse point on her neck. Their bodies pressed tightly together with their baby cocooned between them, she let go, trusting Malachi to catch her when she fell again and again and again as he kept rocking into her, wanting to extend her pleasure for as long as possible and then kissed her tears away.
Liat pushed him back with stars still exploding in her eyes and body still quaking from the contact. Her legs straddled each side of him as he lay back on the bed looking up at her, his hands on her hips and thumbs grazing gently over her baby belly as she continued to rock against him. With feet planted on the mattress he met her strides with his own rocking his pelvis in time with hers and hissed when her nails raked down his chest and dug in with a deep moan as another explosion rocked her body that was on fire from every touch. The sight and sound of her above him, so beautiful and alive and pregnant with his baby was too much for Malachi and soon he joined her in ecstasy, pulling her to him for a deep kiss and moaning into her mouth as he erupted inside her own quaking body.
When both began to come down again, Liat rolled off the top of him and lay on her side, trying to catch her breath. Malachi spooned up behind her, nuzzling against the back of neck and inhaling her scent for as long as she would allow him this kind of contact. He gently trailed his fingers up her side and palmed the side of her baby belly, dropping a kiss to the nape of her neck and didn't say anything.
Tears were rolling endlessly from Liat's eyes as she tried desperately to fight them back and calm her breathing. The first time they had made love, she felt his love in his every touch and this time, she felt the same love but she also felt cherished. As if he were not taking any touch or kiss for granted and she cried at the overwhelming feeling of being loved like this again, to be touched like this again after the horrors she'd been through in captivity. Her body shivered at the memory and she curled into her self on her side.
"Do you want me to go?" Malachi asked quietly, worrying she was now regretting her decision and needing space. Slowly he began to pull away and Liat grabbed his hand, stilling him.
"No, I want you to stay." She answered quietly in the darkness, "Stay." She cried softly pulling him back down again behind her, and threading her fingers with his, "I want you to stay."
PS- No, this is not the end...yet