Teddy and Rayna had arranged a meeting with the doctor that their pediatrician had referred them to only a week after hearing about Maddie's diagnosis.
The doctor had said it wasn't necessary to bring Maddie with them as they were only going to be discussing treatment options, so Tandy had volunteered to stay home and watch Maddie while they were gone.
The last thing Rayna needed was the media getting a hold of this story, so Rayna had been careful to tell as little people as possible the specifics of what was going on and made sure to use a back entrance at the hospital.
"Ms. Jaymes, Mr. Conrad, I'm Dr. Keller. I'll be working with you going forward as well as with a group of the best physicians to treat Maddie's cancer."
"Please, call me Rayna," she said, shaking his hand firmly.
"Teddy."
"Have a seat, please," Dr. Keller said as he gestured toward the two arm chairs that sat in front of his desk.
Rayna glanced around at his office. Diploma from Columbia Medical School, countless plaques and awards for cancer research, and numerous pictures of children from all ages, smiling, happy from their hospital beds, their faces blowing with determination.
"What type of leukemia does Maddie have specifically?" Teddy asked.
While Rayna had spent the last few days holed up in Maddie's nursery, Teddy had been locked away in his office, researching everything he could on pediatric leukemia. He was a practical, logical man, and he was dealing with the news in the same manner. It was so…..Teddy. It was one of the things she loved about him. His stableness and secureness. She knew he felt that if he was prepared enough, getting al the information he could, might help Maddie in the long run.
"Maddie has Juvenile Myelomonocytic Leukemia which is also known as JMML. What it does is it specifically affects the white blood cells, causing them to turn cancerous and multiply. It occurs mostly in children under 2 years old."
"What is her prognosis?" Teddy questioned.
"Every child, every case is different. And I, for one, am not a believer in giving numbers or statistics. I would like to perform a bone marrow aspiration in order to get further information on the abnormal cells. But, I do believe we have caught the cancer before it had the chance to progress more significantly. However, I do believe that Maddie's best option for treatment is a stem cell transplant. This would involve high-dose chemotherapy in order to prepare Maddie's body for new healthy stem cells from a matched donor."
"How do we find a donor?" Rayna asked.
"Does Maddie have any siblings?"
"No, she's our only child," Teddy interjected.
"In order to determine a stem cell donor, we look at HLA genes. Each child has 8 HLA, 4 inherited from each parent. Siblings usually make the best donors. It is possible, although more unlikely, that parents can be a match for their children. Even if they aren't a complete match, parents will always be a half-match. I would encourage you both to get tested at our next appointment. After we get those results, as well as the results of the bone marrow aspiration, we can make adjustments to the plan as necessary. My team and I are going to do everything possible to save Maddie's life and we will be here to support you every step of the way."
"Thank you, Dr. Keller," Rayna said, her voice barely above a whisper.
As they got up and left the office, Rayna felt like the floor was falling out from under her as she digested the reality she was facing. They reached the parking and both got into the car.
"Teddy, we have to—" Rayna started, but Teddy quickly cut her off.
"No. No," Teddy said firmly.
"Teddy, this isn't—"
"Rayna, we are not telling him. This is about OUR family, Rayna. This concerns, you, me and OUR daughter and no one else. We made a decision and you made a promise to me. And nothing has changed that, Rayna. I am Maddie's father."
"Nothing has changed, Teddy? Are you kidding me? Everything has changed! This is Maddie's life we are talking about! Yes, we made a decision. A decision that we felt was in Maddie's best interest. And I made a promise for Maddie's well being that you would always be her father, Teddy. I promised that I'd always do what's best for her, I promised to protect her. But I will not protect your ego, Teddy."
"I have been there, Rayna, every single step of the way. I know I'm not the one you wanted, I wasn't your first choice, Rayna, but god dammit, this is what we chose. I'm the one who held her when she came into this world, I'm the one who's been there through every shot and stumble and bad night. I'm the one who's been there, Rayna, for you and her."
Rayna reached across the console and took his hand, "I know, I know you have. You are an amazing father and husband. And you have done everything in your power to give us the best life possible. But some things we just can't control or fix. There's only so much a parent can do themselves to protect their child. And this is one part you just can't do. You are Maddie's father. But, hon, she has his blood in her, his genes. And I know you'll be there to rock her and hold her hand, but this part you might have to let Deacon do."
"So you're just going to tell him then? Tell him he has a daughter and that he might need to save her life, Rayna? How do you think he's going to react? What good will he be to Maddie when he goes off and gets drunk again? At a time like this, Maddie needs as much stability as she can get. She needs parents who are going to take care of her. Not a volatile drunk who's unpredictable."
"We don't know what he's going to do or how he'll react. But for Maddie's sake, we need to take that chance. She has a long, hard fight ahead of her and she can't do it without us. We need to fight for her, too. And if I'm ever going to sleep at night again, I need to know I did everything in my power to giver her that fighting chance."
Teddy let out a long sigh and said, "Fine, then we'll tell him."
"I think it'd be best if I did this, alone. He's going to be mad as hell with me and you don't need to be in the middle of all of that."
"Fine, just fine then," Teddy conceded.