DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEITHER HARRY POTTER NOR FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Even though Ed wanted to dwell on what Roy had told him, Ed had no choice but to prepare for the O.W.L. exams as they neared further since the dull March had turned into a squally April. Meanwhile, the teachers and Hermione persisted in reminding the fifth years of the impending exams. All of the fifth years, including Ed, were suffering from stress to some degree, but Ed was the first one to receive a Calming Draught from Madam Pomfrey after beating Malfoy into a pulp after Malfoy had taunted him.
The defense club was the only thing that had kept Ed from really acting out. They had finally started working on Patronuses, which everybody had been very keen to practice, though as Harry kept reminding them, producing a Patronus in the middle of a brightly lit classroom when they were not under threat was very different to producing it when confronted by something like a dementor.
"Oh, don't be such a killjoy," Cho said brightly, watching her silvery swan shaped Patronus soar around the Room of Requirement during their last lesson before Easter break. "They're so pretty!"
"They're not supposed to be pretty," urged Harry. "They're supposed to protect you. What we really need is a boggart or something. That's how I learned. I had to conjure one while the boggart pretended to be a dementor."
"But that would be really scary!" said Lavender.
"That's the point, Lavender," Ed said harshly, as his lion chased after one of the Patronuses.
"Edward, don't be so grumpy," Winry scolded, as her lioness pranced after Ed's lion.
"Yeah, Brother," Al agreed with Winry, his cat was gamboling around him.
Harry went to Neville who was only producing silver vapors
"You've got to think of something happy," said Harry.
"I'm trying," said Neville, nervously.
"Harry, I think I'm doing it!" yelled Seamus, it was his first meeting. "Look – ah – it's gone... But it was definitely something hairy, Harry!"
Ed snickered. Winry shot Ed a glare.
"They are sort of nice, aren't they?" said Hermione.
Just then, the Room of Requirement door opened and then closed. The room went silent. Harry looked around but couldn't see anybody until he felt a tugging at his robes. It was Dobby the house-elf.
"Hi, Dobby!" said Harry. "What are you – what's wrong?"
Dobby's eyes were wide with terror and he was shaking. The members of the D.A. closest to Harry had fallen silent now. Everybody in the room was watching Dobby. The Patronuses faded away into silver mist, leaving the room looking much darker than before.
"Harry Potter, sir...," squeaked Dobby as he trembled. "Harry Potter, sir...Dobby has come to warn you...but the house-elves have been warned not to tell."
Dobby tried to run into the wall, but Ed was able to stop him.
"What's wrong, Dobby?" Ed asked.
"She…she…," Dobby started.
Dobby hit himself with his fist, but Ed stopped him.
"Do you meant Umbridge?" Al asked.
Dobby nodded.
"She found out?" Winry asked.
Dobby nodded again.
"Is she coming, Dobby?" Harry asked.
"Yes, Harry Potter, yes!" howled Dobby.
"SHIT!" Ed swore. "GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"
Then everybody started to run out of the room.
"Come on, Harry!" Ed said, motioning for Harry to follow along.
"You go on ahead!" Harry said.
Ed scowled.
"Winry, Al, go on ahead," Ed said.
"What about you?" Winry asked. "You'll get into -"
"Just go!" Ed snapped.
Then Ed pushed Al and Winry out the door. Winry glared at Ed and then left with Al to the library. After Harry instructed Dobby not to tell Umbridge anything and not to hurt himself, Harry and Ed left the Room of Requirement.
"Why did you decide to wait for me?" Harry asked.
"I wanted to ask you about the dream that you - GYAAAAH!" Ed said.
Something had caught them both around the ankles and they both fell spectacularly, skidding along for six feet before coming to a stop. Someone behind them were laughing. Ed and Harry rolled onto their backs and saw Malfoy concealed in a niche beneath an ugly dragon vase.
"Trip Jinx, Potter, Elric!" Malfoy boasted. "Hey, Professor - PROFESSOR! I've got two!"
"Should've known a snake would catch us," Ed muttered.
Umbridge came bustling around the far corner, breathless but wearing a delighted smile.
"It's them!" Umbridge said in delight. "Excellent, Draco, oh, very good - one hundred points to Slytherin! I'll take them from here. Stand up, Potter, Elric!"
Ed and Harry both stood up. Before Umbridge could grab Ed by the arm, Roy came to them.
"Sorry, Professor, but I can't allow you to take Edward with you," Roy said. "It's something called Diplomatic Immunity. Come on, FullMetal. Now."
Ed opened his mouth to say something, but Roy got Ed by the arm and started leading him away. Roy took Ed to the library where Al and Winry were and let go of Ed's arm.
"What's your problem?" Ed asked.
"I just saved you from getting yourself into trouble, Edward," Roy said. "You better not toe across the line again. Now, study for your exams so you won't be held back another year."
Then Roy left the library.
"Where's Harry?" Winry asked.
"That Upchuck got 'im," Ed answered. "She was goin' to take us somewhere, but Colonel Idiot came and got me."
"If that was Colonel Mustang," Al muttered.
"What, Al?" Ed asked.
"Nothing," Al brushed off. "It's nothing."
Ed didn't say anything. The next morning, Ed, Winry, and Al saw a new decree posted up on the Gryffindor notice board.
-BY ORDER OF-
The Ministry of Magic
Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced
Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The above is in accordance with
Educational Decree Number Twenty-Eight.
Signed:
Cornelius Oswald Fudge
Minister of Magic
After Herbology, Harry told Ed and Al and Ernie while they were walking back up to the castle of what had happened the night before. Ron and Hermione were with them.
"That explains it," Ed muttered.
"But Professor Dumbledore will be back, won't he?" Al asked.
"Yeah, he'll definitely be back before too long," Ernie boasted. "They couldn't keep him away in second year and they won't be able to this time. The Fat Friar told me that Umbridge tried to get back into his office last night after they'd searched the castle and grounds for him. Couldn't get past the gargoyle. The Head's office has sealed itself against her. Apparently she had a right little tantrum…"
"Of course, she would have loved to get her fat ass into Bumblebore's office chair," Ed remarked, as they went into the castle.
"Now, Elfric," Malfoy remarked. "You really shouldn't have said that about our new headmistress."
"It's Elric, you dumb son-of-a-bitch!" Ed snapped at Malfoy as Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle revealed themselves to Ed, Al, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ernie.
"Afraid I'm going to have to dock a few points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff," Malfoy drawled.
"It's only teachers that can dock points from Houses, Malfoy!" Ernie said.
"No, Prefects and the Head Boy and Girl can dock points too, Ernie," Al reminded.
"How do you know this, Smellric?" Malfoy asked.
Al punched Malfoy in the nose and stormed off. Ed gave Malfoy a black eye and left after his little brother. They both went into the Great Hall. Ed and Winry found Winry and sat down by her.
"Is everything all right?" Winry asked.
"Yeah, nothing to worry about," Ed answered. "Right, Al?"
Al nodded, but he didn't say anything. A few minutes later, they were joined by Ron and Hermione.
"Where's Harry?" Winry asked.
"Professor Umbridge wanted to talk to him," Hermione answered.
"What for?" Al asked.
"Didn't say," Ron replied.
"Alphonse, I know Malfoy is irritating, but you can't let him get under your skin like that," Hermione consoled.
"You said that nothing was wrong!" Winry snapped.
"Well, we took care of it!" Ed protested. "You would have done the same, Winry!"
Winry didn't say anything. She knew that Ed was right.
"What did you and Alphonse do?" Winry asked.
"They punched Malfoy," Ron said, grinning. "It was brilliant!"
Hermione pursed her lips.
"Oh, Hermione, loosen up," Winry scowled. "You can't be little miss perfect all the time."
Hermione glared at Winry and refused to take part in any conversations until they heard a loud boom. They all ran out of the Great Hall to see great fireworks of dragons comprised entirely of green-and-gold sparks soaring up and down the corridors, emitting loud fiery blasts and bangs as they went. Shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers. Rockets with long tails of brilliant silver stars were ricocheting off the walls. Sparklers were writing swearwords in midair of their own accord. Fire crackers were exploding like mines everywhere, and instead of burning themselves out, fading from sight, or fizzling to a halt, these pyrotechnical miracles seemed to be gaining in energy and momentum the longer they watched.
Ed and Al were wearing broad grins. Winry had a look between shock, awe, and apprehension. A moment later, Roy was standing beside them, admiring the show.
"Impressive," Roy commented. "It's going to be terribly hard for the students to concentrate. I might give them today off."
Then Roy walked off. The fireworks continued to burn and to spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, particularly the firecrackers, the other teachers did not seem to mind them very much.
"Dear, dear," McGonagall remarked, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
The upshot of it all was that Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and the students were heading back to Gryffindor Tower with their bags, a disheveled and soot-blackened Umbridge could be seen tottering sweaty faced from Professor Flitwick's classroom.
"Thank you so much, Professor," Flitwick squeaked. "I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority…"
Beaming, Flitwick closed his classroom door in her snarling face. Fred and George were heroes that night in the Gryffindor common room. Ed was among the crowd that was ordering fireworks as Hermione congratulated Fred and George. Ed pushed a couple of people away and transmuted the top of his auto-mail arm into a blade.
"Everybody stay back so I can make my order!" Ed threatened.
Everybody groaned but also looked in awe of how Ed could transmute without a circle. Ed transmuted his arm back to normal and turned to Fred and George.
"All right, Fred, I want ten boxes of your Deflagration Deluxe," Ed requested. "They're twenty galleons a pop, right?"
"For you, and Harry if he ever wants any, they're free," George said.
"Great," Ed grinned.
Just then, Ed fell down from a wrench to the head. Ed got up and stormed to where Winry was.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Ed yelled.
"For transmuting your arm!" Winry replied angrily. "You know how much I hate it when you do that!"
"How else was I supposed to get my order in?!" Ed retorted.
"You could have been patient!" Winry suggested.
"That's like telling Colonel Stupid to do his own paperwork!" Ed said. "I'm not gonna wait forever to get -!"
Ed and Winry continued arguing. A few minutes later, they both 'hmphed' and stormed up their respective dorm staircases. Al sighed and shook his head.