Chapter 7 - Its Time BoLo
Wednesday 8th May - One Month Later
Bo and Dyson had been dating for four weeks. The group still did hang out together on some occasions; however, Dyson and Bo had started to spend more time alone recently. Dyson had taken Bo last weekend to a hotel for their 1-month anniversary. Bo had watched Lauren spend all her free time with Tamsin and loved how they looked and laughed together. She tried several times to get Lauren alone as she desperately wanted to talk to her. Bo was deeply attracted to Lauren, loving the way she moved with grace, how her hair looked every time she saw her, and her favourite was her killer smile. She kept these feelings quiet though, even from Kenzi, as far as everyone knew she was happy with Dyson. Although he was nice and took good care of her, something was missing.
Lauren had busied herself with work and volunteered at a local hospital during some of her free time as it bothered her that Bo was with Dyson and felt jealous every time she saw them together. Lauren had made Tamsin promise that she would not be left alone with Bo in case she embarrassed herself. She would go with local doctors to the desert and treat the Bedouin people living there, just to stay away. Kenzi had become close with Tamsin recently and joined them whenever Bo was with Dyson. A few days ago Kenzi found out that Lauren was not "with" Tamsin but hadn't told Bo, as she felt that Bo had finally started to be happy and didn't want to ruin what might be with Dyson. Kenzi loved Dyson, he was protective, strong, loyal and exactly what Bo needed. Tamsin enjoyed working with Dyson, he did seem happy and she was getting closer to him.
There were a few times when the full gang went out together, where they would go out to a bar or club. Lauren would sing on the Karaoke, she was really good and everyone agreed how much they loved 'out of hours Lauren'. They were having a great time together, all mixing with each other. There were still a few glances between Lauren and Bo but nothing was ever said, Bo had Dyson now so both knew it was meant for nothing. Tamsin was true to her word and never left Lauren' side during these times.
Same day - Lauren's Office
It had been a pretty normal day so far for Lauren; she had spent most of the day in her office and completing paperwork when all of a sudden Bo walked in.
"Hi Doc, so this is where you hide out all day?" Bo scanned the small room, it had a desk in the centre with two large black leather chairs in front. Behind the desk Lauren sat on a larger white leather chair, with an apple mac note book in front of her and a printer to her side. Behind her was another door that was marked "Examination Room".
"Are you ok Bo?" Lauren stood up and walked around her desk to stood in front of Bo, she could smell her perfume and she inhaled the scent. It was a spicy fragrance with a warm undertone and Lauren loved it and how it somehow suited Bo.
"Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about something medical, if I can? My manager said that my job also included healthcare and use of you, so to speak." Bo sat on one of the leather chairs and Lauren sat next to her on the other one. She knew that was not normal practice, but couldn't help herself from being close to Bo.
"Bo, you could ask me anything regardless. I don't mind. What is it?" Lauren scanned over Bo, looking for any clues.
"Something happened to me last night. I got really freaked out. I had this pain in my chest and my arm. I couldn't sleep. I was thirsty, really thirsty. The more I drank the more I needed the loo. And I was scared. I thought I was having a heart attack. I was really scared of dying in that room, I freaked out." Bo said with sadness in her eyes.
"Did the pain shoot a short time or was it continual?" Lauren asked reaching for her stethoscope on the desk.
"Erm well all night really." Bo unbutton her shirt more than it was already, revealing a black lace bar. "Do you want it all off?" Bo asked eyeing at the stethoscope in Lauren's hand
"No, that's fine. I'm just going to listen to your heart beat." Lauren blew on the end of her stethoscope to warm it up a bit before placing it above Bo's left breast, which Bo thought was adorably cute. Lauren leaned in more than was technically needed but started to listen to Bo's heartbeat.
Bo had stopped breathing the minute she could smell Lauren's hair shampoo, a light vanilla smell.
"Normally I ask patients to hold their breath, as I can hear better without the breathing sounds, but I can see you already are." Lauren lifted the ear pieces from her ears and pulled away from Bo.
"Yeah, breathless, completely breathless." Bo replied, looking away to hide her blush.
"Well, one thing Bo you have a good strong heart, so there is nothing to worry about there. What happened before this feeling came on?" Lauren took out a pen from her doctors' coat pocket and a small note pad to use to write on.
"Well I was with Dyson," Bo looked away embarrassed, "he was being all loving with me and …..he told me he loved me and…..." Bo couldn't finish her sentence as she started to breathe heavy and hyperventilate.
"Bo, just breathe normally, I'm here, just try to breathe normal. Take a deep breath in, hold and release. Use this bag as it will help." Lauren passed Bo a bag and gently started to rub her hands up Bo's arms for reassurance. Lauren waited a few moments just looking at Bo and breathing with her to help slow her down.
"Ok, it sounds like and looks like now a Panic Attack or Anxiety Attack, both rather similar in symptoms." Lauren looked at Bo who was just staring back at her.
"What does that mean?" Bo asked, between deep breaths.
"A panic attack causes the same symptoms that you described, heart palpitations, chest pain, dry mouth and a fear of dying. Sometimes when you get news your emotions react to them, like a traumatic life experience. You seem to have panicked when Dyson expressed his feelings for you. Understandable after all you only known each other four weeks, not that's any of my business, but maybe it shocked you. There is also what's known as Catastrophic Thinking, where you think you're having a heart attack for example, your body then interprets those feelings which triggers nervous system response that then causes the Panic Attack. Rather amusing that you can think yourself to an attack really….. "Lauren continued to rub Bo's arms untill she could see her breathing start to relax. Something about the way Lauren geeked out relaxed Bo more than anything else has ever been able to.
"I know. We hardly know each other right?" Bo moved the bag away from her mouth but kept it in her hands. "The worse thing is he wanted me to say it back and I couldn't. You see Lauren; I've never told anyone that I loved them before. And I thought it would come easy to me when the time was right, but it didn't, I just froze. He got angry and started to shout about how he has given me his love and he gets nothing in return. And he is right, not only can I not love him, I havent given him anything else. He must be so confused, he gets with someone like me and am fridged with him."
Bo lowered her head unable to maintain the eye contact with Lauren, there was something about her that made her want to tell her anything and everything, she knew she should hold back, but didn't feel she could with those piercing eyes.
Lauren suppressed a smile, did she mean what she thought she meant, she had to ask, even if she didn't like the answer, "So you haven't been intimate with him?"
Bo shook her head, "How? we have dated for thirty odd days and due to our work schedule seen each other only five times by ourselves, three of those I wanted to wait, one he got so drunk I couldn't move him and then last night we argued."
Lauren was literally jumping inside, maybe it was not all lost, "What did you argue about?" Lauren knew none of these questions would help her medically, but reasoned with herself that she was helping her psyche.
"He ranted on about how he had heard rumours about me and how he should have never got involved with me in the first place. He told me that we were over. That we were actually finished, he dumped me. I asked him what he meant but he said nothing, just stormed out." Bo felt angry, angry that he had spoken to her like that, and angry that she had failed another relationship and was showing Lauren what a loser she really was.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Bo, really I am." Lauren did not know what to say, she had given up weeks ago that she and Bo would get together, but seeing her looking hurt made her feel worse for wishing it would happen.
"Do you know what he means by my rumours? I would ask Kenzi, but she would lie to protect me and tell me to run to Dyson and tell him I loved him. But I can't, you're a doctor Lauren, is it a normal? Is it normal to have the reaction of panic when someone says they love you? Is it normal to not be able to say three little words to someone? Is it normal not to have any feelings towards someone after four weeks? Yes, I like him, but I don't love him, is this normal?" Bo asked.
"Well seeing that was a two-part question, I'll give you a two-part answer. So to the rumour, yes I've also heard of it, and it really is nothing to worry about. Some of the staff here had said that you were looking to sleep with wealthy people simply for the money. That as soon as someone rich and single came along you would dump Dyson as he did not earn enough to accommodate your lifestyle." Lauren paused as she heard Bo gasp. Lauren took hold of Bo's hand to comfort her. "And secondly 'what is normal' Bo? What was normal for me growing up was having children, the white picketed fence house and a family car parked in the drive. I thought I would be with my girlfriend until I was old and wrinkly. But people change, we changed. And what I mistook for love was in fact just loyalty. I would have stayed loyal also if she hadn't, well, changed towards me. I was so scared though of being alone that I stayed with her, but I realised it was far scarier to stay with someone who made me feel alone. So I'm single, but I'm happy. Now I only hope that the universe has a plan for me that gives me 'my happy ever after', as now after four years with someone, I find myself single again and not knowing what career path to follow or if those dreams I had when I was younger about the family life even matter anymore.
Bo was silent, Lauren took it as her listening, so continued.
"My father wants me to follow him at his hospital, but I'm not sure I want that. I'm 29 years old and I now live at home. But until that day I can say 'I'm happy' I will not settle for anything else, as I need to be true to my feelings. I need to play the star role in the story of my life. Maybe we're different Bo, but if you don't feel something, then you can't just settle or say you do. Take time to know what you want. Make sure you put yourself first sometimes. I love how you're so loyal to Kenzi but if she asks you to do something that you don't feel like you should, then you have to tell her. And, as for Dyson, speak to him. Tell him that you're not there yet, but with his patience, understanding and love you hope to one day. Or tell him that you're not there and don't ever see yourself being there, ask to be friends. As a doctor I would give the advice that sometimes the 'plaster, or in your language the Band-Aid, needs to be pulled off fast', as it's better to get over with it quickly." Lauren finished her speech and looked down at Bo's hands in her own, gave them a light squeeze before unlocking them and leaning back in her chair. Bo had not spoken and had simply sat there looking at Lauren the whole time.
"Doctor Lewis, this is the most I've ever heard you speak to me in one go. I completely agree, what I don't understand though, which shocked me the most is that you're single? I thought you were with Tamsin?" Bo leaned forward.
"No, we have never been," Lauren paused, "well once we were, but never in a relationship as such no. We're just best friends. Why would you think that?" Lauren hoped the answer would be because she felt the electricity between them, but didn't want to come across too keen in case it wasn't.
"I saw you together, in the car after you left the airport, she was straddling you, then she holds your hand and never leaves your side. I just put two and two together, and as normal got five. I just thought and no-one appeared to correct me. Kenzi I guess knows hey" Bo watched Lauren's shrug her shoulders.
Lauren frowned, confused, "What car, when?"
"The day I met you, we passed you in our taxi, you were pulled over and she was straddling you." Bo answered.
Lauren took a moment to think, "Jeez, she was just playing, getting information out of me by tickling."
Bo smiled relived, "So that's how it's done?"
Lauren laughed. "Maybe." Lauren bit on her lower lip. Bo's gaze bore tough her and she felt her cheeks flush. "And yes she is always with me, I asked her to be. I'm not confident around new people, she helps me."
"That makes sense, and does everyone else know? Does Kenzi know?" Bo asked.
"I don't know Bo; we've never really spoken. She's with Tam all the time, so maybe." Lauren answered.
"Of course she did. She has never said anything to me as she loves the Wolman. Oh my god, I'm so angry. Dyson definitely knew, he's always with you or Tamsin." Bo watched as this time Lauren nodded a yes, "Yet he left me to believe that you two were together. I wasted so much time avoiding you to give you space when it wasn't needed."
Bo stood up, startling Lauren, and paced the floor, "And, while we're being honest, the rumour has a hint of truth to it and you may as well hear it directly from me. I, have got myself into a bit of debt with Kenzi and her family, I done it once with a guest here, but I told Kenzi I didn't want to do it again. It's such a mess" Bo ran her fingers though her hair, sat back on her seat and looked down between her legs to the floor, placing her elbows on her knees.
"Ok Bo, so as for the rumour ignore it, people are better judged on actions than on words. As Gandhi once said– 'Be the change You want to see'. And why does it bother you that you didn't know I was single. It doesn't change anything, does it?" Lauren again was digging for Bo's true feelings.
"Oh Lauren. Maybe or maybe not. But, and I'm stepping out on a limb here, again a bit of honesty, but the first time I saw you something came alive inside me. I don't know what it was, an attraction, a spark but whatever it was I buried so that I would not hurt you, Tamsin or Dyson. I thought we….." Bo stopped herself after feeling Lauren staring at her, "Maybe it was….." Bo was going to speak again, but there it was, that same feeling burning inside her, the fire, the heat, the passion, she felt it, she did not know if Lauren felt it but she did "I feel it now Lauren, hey like a band aid I'm just going to say it, I have said it earlier today and I will say it again - breathless, Lauren you leave me breathless. That's why I can't connect with Dyson. I just don't feel the same fire with him that I feel when I'm near you. I've never felt this way about anyone that I hardly know, but I don't know why or even what it really is yet, it's like the inner me knows something the outer me hasn't realised yet, and everything else is just a journey to this moment of absolute clarity. Oh Lauren please stop me at any minute" Bo pleaded looking into Lauren's eyes
As Bo said those last words that Lauren had been wishing to hear she moved forward and kissed her deeply. It was passionate as tongues explored each other's mouths. All those weeks of waiting, secret glances and hoping the other felt the same was portrayed in those kisses. Bo had got up, pushed Lauren back in her chair and straddled her lap. The same passion as she had imagined before, with hands running over each other's body, except this time it was her on Lauren's lap. Hair was being grabbed and clothes being tugged at, and pulled down. A burning want, a need, a desire had lit in both of them, a barrier crossed within them and they knew nothing would be the same again.
After a few minutes, Lauren pushed Bo off her and raced to the office door. Damm it Bo thought, I've messed this up as well.
Bo went to speak but fell silent as she watched Lauren simply turned her closed sign around and lock the office door. Lauren hurried back and grabbed Bo's hand, and led her to the back examination room.