The rest of the visit passed by in a blur. Though Annie had her moments in which she didn't seem altogether present, I was envious of how well she was dealing with the tragedy in her life. Sam was certainly the cause to this effect, and I was glad that when we departed, we would not be leaving her alone. As I suspected, none of us mentioned the tribute to the tributes that was occurring in the Capitol. Though the government was changing, slowly but hopefully for the better, I still couldn't help but feel like we were a piece in their political puzzle. We'd given up enough of our lives before and during the War, and we were much happier spending the day in Annie's home by the ocean than as a political statement of reform in the Capitol.

When it came time to depart, I discovered I didn't want to leave. Though District Four summoned painful memories to mind the same as District Twelve, it was nice to get away from my life for a few days. At Annie's home, it was perfectly acceptable to sit around all day without an objective. It was freeing and stress free, and I was sad to see it go. I even gave Sam a small kiss on his forehead as we left, squeezing my eyes shut to force away the images that battled for attention in my mind.

The train back home was not the express that had taken us to the Capitol or out to Four. This train stopped at each district it passed through, and it did not escape my mind which district lied between Four and the Capitol. I vaguely wondered if Peeta had been thinking ahead, realizing the moment would come when the train would stop in District Two on the way back home.

As the train slowed into the station, my heart began to pound in my chest. I wasn't even consciously entertaining the idea, but my body seemed to know what my head was thinking before I did. The thought never crossed my mind from when we boarded the train in Four to landing in Two, but as the train pulled to a stop, it was as if my mind had been made up. As a few of the other passengers stood to leave, I rose as well.

"I think you were right," I said, though it felt more like the words were spilling from my mouth without control. "I'm going to go see Gale." And with that, my mind was apparently made up. Just the thought of what I was saying made me want to vomit, but at the same time I knew it was something I needed to do eventually. And if I didn't get off that train then, I'd never have the resolve to do it.

"Okay." It was difficult to discern who was more shocked by my sudden proclamation, myself or Peeta. Though he had been the one to plant the idea in my head, neither one of us had expected me to leap on it so quickly. Emotions jumbled in a complex mess across his face. There was relief, but also an edge I couldn't quite put my finger on. Jealously? Fear? "Do you want me to stay with you?" he added as soon as his brain caught up to mine.

"Yes," I admitted, "but you shouldn't." I couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think you being there is going to help anything." Feeling as if I needed to defend myself, I added, "You know how Gale is." Gale, not me. As if I would have been okay standing there, between the two of them again. But perhaps that's why I needed to do this excursion, and why it needed to be now instead of later. Seeing Gale, talking to Gale, could help me sort out my own mess of feelings. Not just for him, but for Peeta too. And it certainly felt like I needed to do that, especially after our horizontal entanglement on the last train ride.

"Right," Peeta said, though the way he said it didn't really sound like an agreement at all. "Let me at least carry your bag to the platform," he offered and I nodded.

As we stepped off the train, Peeta told the attendant he would be right back. Part of me wanted to distract Peeta long enough for the train to leave without him and force to stay, at least for a little while. As we stood there awkwardly on the platform, the hustle and bustle of hurrying people all around us, I became unsure of my ludicrous plan. Since his return to Twelve, we hadn't spent a single day without seeing each other. Even in the middle of our bickering when we tried to avoid each other, we still caught sight of one another in passing. Twelve was such a small district it was impossible to avoid someone.

Now, he would be boarding the train and heading home and I would be staying behind. I didn't even know where Gale was, or if he would be receptive to seeing me. My stomach continued to turn with unease as I drew in a breath and tried to steel myself. A moment later, I was pulling Peeta to me in a tight embrace. My hands clung to the back of his shirt as I drew in his familiar smell. It wouldn't be a long trip, I told myself. Peeta would be fine for a day or two by himself. He hadn't had an episode in a while, and the bakery seemed to be helping instead of hindering his progress.

But in that selfish moment, I wasn't just worried about Peeta. I was concerned with my own affairs. If I would be able to handle seeing Gale alone. What this impromptu visit might mean to Peeta and me. All of it, suddenly thrown out into the wind to see what landed and what drifted away.

Peeta rested his forehead against mine as he pulled away just a fraction of an inch. His breath mixed with mine as we breathed in unison, neither one wanting to be the first to let go. He wanted to say something, that much was obvious, but he held it in. In moments like that one, I knew Haymitch had been right. I didn't deserve him. I would never deserve him.

"It'll only be for a few days, at most," I held him, still hesitant to depart and let him go. "You won't even have time to notice I'm not there."

"Oh, Katniss," he said with a soft sigh as he pulled away. What followed I would never know.

"Your idea," I reminded him as I held on tightly, wanting him to change my mind for me.

But Peeta wasn't selfish like me. So all that followed was, "Tell Gale I said hi."