Hana: Math sucks. I hate it.
Allen: ...
Kanda: The fuck?
Hana: Eh. Assignments before updating. What can ya do?
Allen: Okay then...uh, XavierForest and Hanashi o suru don't own D. Gray-man. Just the story and plot you happen to come across...wait a...THE HELL?!
Kanda: What are you yelling about? -reads over the chapter- ...
Hana: Happy reading, everyone! -runs off-
... ... ... ...
+ - Chapter 46 - +
"Cross...I swear if you don't get your ass off my couch, I'll kick it off, and then kick you out of my house." Sachiko scowled, crossing her arms.
"I don't have my own place, what do you expect me to do?" Cross grumbled.
The Asian woman stared pointedly at Cross. "I expect you to get off my couch."
"Fine." Cross grumbled as he sat up, and stood. "Happy now?"
"Of course not! You've been mooching off me since you got here, cho! I only let you stay here until you got an actual job! I should've listened to Miss Anita. But no, cho! I had to be a nice girl, and let this oaf in my home!"
"There's no way I'd be able to get a proper job," the man said, and it was true. Or, at least, he wouldn't be able to get a job that he didn't find degrading and beneath him. He'd never really had a job before, because Allen had been making all the money. "Trying to find one would be pointless and irritating."
"You're irritating, cho!" The Japanese woman pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance, before looking at the free-loader. "Alright. Alright, cho. What would you be willing to do? Maybe you could be a host or something..."
"Host?"
"I think you'd enjoy that, cho." Sachiko mused. "With a job like that, you can entertain women and I'm pretty sure you'd be able to have very fine drinks..."
"Hm..."
"Wait, are you actually considering that?!"
"I might look into that. Never had crossed my mind." The red-headed man said, as he thought it over. "I hear tips are pretty damn good if the client is rich."
"You'd be the brokest host to ever live."
"You're the one that recommended it."
Sachiko...had nothing to say to that.
The longer Cross thought about a job as a host, the more appealing it seemed to him. "It could work..."
"Now I pity the poor girls that get you for their host." Sachiko sighed in defeat. "Are you actually going to search into any openings?"
"I'll do what I want." Cross muttered, before leaving the room. Sachiko sighed again, but otherwise didn't pursue.
"Trouble since day one, cho." She said to no one.
. . - * - . .
He felt at peace here. Maybe it was his presence as a spiritual being? Did he believe in such a thing? Either way, he felt as though he could think. "I'm doing this for you, you know." Raku muttered, kneeling before his beloved's grave. "It's...unfair that Yu can achieve happiness so quickly...is this...the right thing, Okagi?"
"I'm unsure of what I should do..." Raku sighed, looking up with an otherwise blank stare. "If I could see you one last time, then perhaps you'd be able to clear so much for me..."
But he wouldn't be able to see his lover again, because the man was dead.
"Heh...I suppose that's asking for the impossible." The man sighed, as he stood. "Okagi...I'm sorry I barely visited...I'll try to come by more often...you get lonely otherwise, right?"
Silence was met with his words, but Raku was certain his lover could still hear him.
"I will always love you. Forever."
If his tears hadn't dried up years ago, Raku knew that he would've cried.
. . - * - . .
"He seems more pissed than usual..."
"I think he's gonna blow soon..."
"...there's nothing good out of this...whatever happened to that little cutie that we saw from time to time?"
"I heard they broke up—"
"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IMBECILES?" Kanda out right roared at the coworkers he was passing. "Get the fuck back to work!"
There were gasps, yelps and curses as everyone except the Japanese male scrambled back to their desks to find something to do.
On a normal day, Kanda was about as scary as a demon. Now, however, his coworkers just hoped that they made it through the day in one piece.
For the last few days — maybe even weeks for all they knew — Yu Kanda had been irritable, easier than usual to anger, and above all else...truly was a demon in human skin. There had been custodians who swore up and down that the man had horns of the devil...though that couldn't be anything more than overactive imaginations.
At least...they hoped so.
Either way, everyone silently agreed that they'd all avoid Yu Kanda for a while.
"Doesn't Rob have an assignment with him?" One of the newer recruits asked. The whole office suddenly felt bad for Rob...
"Who's Rob?"
"You know, Rob?"
"I don't know any Rob." Another person says.
Miranda thought a moment, before pointing towards an empty desk. "I think he means Robin."
The group stared at the desk, and then thought that this Robin person was pretty smart for having run when they had the chance. Going on an assignment with Agent Kanda right now was one of the worst things that could happen to anyone.
"Come to think of it...weren't they sick for a time?" One of the men muttered. "I heard they had to—"
"Come back to work because she's ready to take on the hardships of her job?" A female's voice sounds, and the men plus Miranda all jump in surprise. "I'm gone for a few months and you guys seriously still think I can't handle my job."
"Rob!"
"Robin." The woman corrected. "It's Robin."
"But Rob sounds better."
The head of long white hair crossed her arms, unimpressed. "I may be no Kanda, but rest assured, I'm hardly above tearing your limbs from your body should you continue with that infernal nickname."
"Y-Yes ma'am!" The newbie quickly said, cowering under his desk.
"Wonderful~"
"That assignment must've been really hard on you, Robin." Miranda said, taking note of the scar that almost looked crudely stitched over the left side of her face.
"The way I see it, that could've gone so much worse...but I see this scar as medal of honor. I sure as hell shouldn't have survived, but here I am."
"So you're back." Kanda's voice sounded, though he still seemed angered. Everyone turned to the direction of the Japanese man, on edge, save for the woman who remained calm.
"I heard of your engagement, so congratulations...I also heard of your breakup, so apologies for that."
"I forgot how much like the damn moyashi you look." Kanda muttered, shifting his bag. "Let's go."
"Never met him. So no idea what you're talking about, Special Agent Kanda." Robin shrugged, as she followed. "Guess I don't get to settle in."
"For fucking shame." Kanda growled.
"As always, you're sure to be a pleasure to work with," Robin said wryly, taking in the scowl on Kanda's face and the anger in his voice. "Care to say where we're going in such a hurry Special Agent?"
"Downtown. A body was found in the red-light district there." Kanda said, getting straight to the point. "Let's go."
"Good enough." Robin sighed. "Ugh, I hate that place." She groaned.
"Who cares," the man grunted, and then tilted his head in the direction of the door. "We're leaving."
. . - * - . .
Robin was...perturbed. No, that didn't seem to be quite right, but she wasn't feeling sick from the scene either. "Slow and painful, huh?"
"Yes ma'am." One of the officers stated. "He was found earlier this morning...seems to have been dead for at least thirty-six hours before a bunch of hooligans found him."
"I see." She muttered, writing it down, mostly for herself than anything. "Have you asked anyone if they knew the deceased?"
"My partner did. But he had no luck."
"Thank you for your time...and again, I'm sorry about Mr. Grumpy over there."
The male sighed, "Believe me, I should be used to it whenever Rouvelier sends him our way."
Well, she couldn't argue. Kanda had never been the most friendly of people...hell she was still surprised he found someone who could at the very least tolerate him enough to say 'yes' to marrying him...she really should get the full details at some point. She missed out on so much after being sent to the hospital for the scar on her face.
"Oi, pay attention, bird brain." Kanda growled, and Robin bristled.
"Did you just call me 'bird brain', you arrogant ass?" She sneered. "Un-fucking-believable!"
"Then stop daydreaming and do your damn job."
Ohhh, Robin wanted to hit him. "I'm not daydreaming. All I did was pause for one fucking second so I could think, and now I've got your temperamental ass on my case."
"Repeat that, I fucking dare you." Kanda snarled.
"Okay, lemme rephrase that. You're. A. Fucking. ASSHOLE!"
"You little bitch."
"Yeah, I'm a bitch. My bark is as bad as my bite, shit head."
"I could have your ass fired."
"I could call Human Resources, and file for misconduct."
"You were rude to your superior officer," Kanda fired back, body stiff with tension.
Robin scoffed, eyes rolling as her hands migrated to her hips. "And you're rude to everyone."
Kanda hated her. "Because they're idiots." She looked too much like the damn Moyashi for him to think straight. He couldn't keep a clear head with her around.
It pissed him off.
"Listen, I'm in no mood to keep this up." Robin sighed physically deflating from her previous anger. "Let's get this scene looked at, and then we can talk about your problems over coffee."
"My problems?"
"I think it's necessary." Robin pointed out, before heading to the scene itself.
Maybe talking about it would help him. Kanda glumly admitted to himself. "Better than the rabbit." He muttered. Lord knew Lavi would make things worse.
Still... speaking to his Moyashi's lookalike over coffee would be weird as fuck.
Either way, he figured the lookalike was the lesser of the two evils. Besides, he actually did need that damn coffee.
He hadn't been able to sleep properly since the breakup.
. . - * - . .
"Mm. So that's how it is." Robin mused, resting her chin against the palm of her hand. Two coffees stood between them on the table, having long since cooled. "Lies tend to do that, y'know. Cause breaks between people, I mean."
"Shut up."
"You're only mad 'cause I'm right," the woman said, eyes on her co-worker.
"So what?"
"The way I see it — from an outsider's perspective, mind you — I think you've both had more than enough time to gain clear heads on your shoulders."
"And?"
"Keep that calm head when you see him again."
Kanda eyed the woman skeptically, "You speak to me of this subject as though you've been through it."
"Because I have. Not the extent of what you're going through, but I've been there, done that. That's how I ended up in the hospital with this beauty here." She explained gesturing to her scar. "I think it was just unlucky the left side of my face got messed up the way it did. You said...Allen, right? That Allen had a scar on the left side of his face? I think the sooner you both appologize and make up, the better things will turn out for the two of you."
"Easier said than done. I don't even know where to fucking find him."
"Did you try asking Link?"
"That...didn't cross my mind..." Why hadn't that come to mind first? The lack of sleep must've been getting to him. "I'll ask him to find where Moyashi is."
"I've been meaning to ask you about this..." Robin leaned an inch closer to Kanda. "Why do you keep calling him a beansprout?"
Kanda blinked. "Because he's small and has white hair."
"Like me?" She asked, reflexively reaching up to touch her own colourless locks.
Kanda groaned in annoyance. "He's small for his age." He amended. Allen was...admittedly, taller than Robin from what he could figure thinking between them...but not by much.
"He actually has white hair though?" She queried doubtfully. Usually only old people had the same colour hair as her.
"Yes. He's nineteen, with white hair, short, and above all a moyashi." Why was he discussing his...ex...? Why was he discussing Allen with her? "Who the hell knows? With his luck, he'll be meeting you whenever...fuck, that guy also has white hair..."
Robin's interest piqued. "Another?"
"Che. Fucking mind reader that one is. Annoying as shit. You could mistaken those two for twins."
"Then I must be the cute female triplet." Robin said with a grin. "Okay, my interest has risen quite a bit. I want to see those two."
So did Kanda.
"The mind reader is easy enough to find, but my—" He caught himself before he could say 'fiancé', internally wincing. "The Moyashi won't come near me, so I won't be able to introduce the two of you."
Unless he somehow ran in to the kid by accident. He considered the probability of that, and then remembered that he wasn't so lucky.
Out of all the white-haired people he knew, the only one he actually wanted to see refused to show himself. He had the mind reader a phone call away, and Robin, the 'cute female triplet', was here sitting across from him, surprisingly less annoying than he'd originally thought.
Wait... Kanda frowned. "Whoever told you that you were cute?"
Kanda felt that he didn't deserve the kick to his shin that followed what he'd thought was a completely reasonable question.
. . - * - . .
"You look lonely." A voice stated, and Allen could hear the chair beside him move. He peeked up from the book he was reading, and blinked, and nearly screamed out, before covering his mouth to stifle his reaction.
"T-T-Tyki?!"
"Yo." The Portuguese male greeted. "I won't try anything, if that's what you're so worried about."
"...why are you here? And how the hell did you even find me?"
"You're a student here. I thought I'd pay you visit." Tyki stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You wouldn't believe how easy it was to get information on where you were hiding in this place."
"Who said I was hiding?" Allen asked, closing his research book. Honestly, he'd finished the assignment weeks ago. So maybe the ex-NOAH before him was right when he claimed Allen was hiding. "...dumb question I guess."
"Indeed." The elder muttered, resting his chin against the heel of his hand. "Listen, boy, why don't you go back to your knife-happy man?"
"Why should I?" Allen sighed. "We're done. It's over...there's no way he'd ever want to see me again after what I did."
Tyki Mikk looked to the boy with disbelief. "You haven't heard much of him in recent weeks, have you?"
"Because I don't want to." Allen's eyes dropped to the table below. "It's easier if we stay away from each other." It hurt less that way.
"Bullshit." Tyki groused. "Listen, boy. Kanda is pissed — livid, perhaps — not because of your secrecy. He's more so pissed off at himself, and he's taking out on anyone who happens to be in a ten foot radius."
"Isn't that normal for him?" Allen bluntly asked.
Tyki just stared at the boy, unable to believe that Allen Walker was really this stupid. And then he groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "You're an idiot."
"I'm not an idiot," the Brit said, not missing a beat. "And I'm not going back. Kanda's better off without me there to lie to him."
"So you're mad at yourself?"
Allen shrugged and looked away. "I'm mad at the both of us." But I still think I did nothing wrong.
"Alright. I'm done playing nice." Tyki said through clenched teeth. "Listen here, boy, both of you were in the wrong. Both of you were idiots. You both knew the consequences of your actions, and yet you both continued with what you were doing."
"I—!"
"I don't want to hear your excuses, boy." Tyki ground out. "I want you and Mr. Kitchen Knife to make up, and admit you both were wrong."
"Wrong?" To this, the Brit's voice took on an incredulous note. "I had to keep it from him. His own father was... How was I supposed to tell him that?"
"And that, had been your downfall." Tyki told the younger. "Don't you think that had you told him first hand things may have been different?"
Allen remind silent.
"Yu Kanda loves you, and he's always trusted you to do the right thing." Tyki continued, taking it as his cue to do so. "Don't you think that by betraying his trust, things got even more out of hand then they would've been had you told him?"
"And what if it were just as bad?"
"Then at least you would've been truthful with him."
"But I... I didn't want him to get hurt," Allen quietly confessed.
"And look at how that worked out."
"I...guess you...might have a point..." Allen dejectedly groaned.
The Portuguese male nodded his head twice. "Of course I have a point. I'm smart and you're stupid. Now get your ass back to your fiancé' be—"
"Ex-fiancé," Allen cut in, interrupting the ex-NOAH.
Tyki shot Allen a glare that would make most men shudder. "Get your ass back to your fiancé," the older man said, staring pointedly at the boy, "before he finally kills someone."
Allen abruptly stood, glaring at the Portuguese man. "Thank you for your concern, Mikk, but I am not going to go back to Kanda any time soon. It's over between us...and that's all there is to it." He groused, before taking his things, and storming out.
"And Cyril wondered why I never wanted kids. Well dear brother in hell, that's why." Tyki grumbled, feeling a migraine coming on. "Maybe plan—"
"I thought I saw you here." Tyki stiffened, before turning to glare over his shoulder. It was that coworker of Kanda...what was her name..? Four...? Foo? Fwah...? No, that was a different person he once saw hanging around Allen... "Whatever you're thinking, try Fou."
"Ah, so that was your name." Tyki muttered. "Going to kick me out of here?"
"That's rather bold of you being out in public like that." Fou stated.
Tyki shrugged. "I was hoping to knock some sense into the boy. I'm fairly certain that backfired."
"Understated."
"He's stubborn and stupid," the ex-NOAH sighed. "I don't even know why I wanted him anymore."
"I won't ask." Fou decided. "But I will say you must've fucked up big time."
"Because he's an idiot," Tyki groaned. "An irritating, bratty idiot!"
"It's his most endearing trait." Fou said with a shrug.
"More like his most annoying trait," the darker-skinned man muttered beneath his breath.
Fou only shrugged. "One less suitor for Kanda to worry about once they get back together."
"You're quite optimistic they'll get back together. I'm beginning to lose hope."
"Nah, I'm not optimistic, but I do know them well enough at this point. I work with one, and go to school with the other."
"Well I got betrayed by one and shot by the other," Tyki said, "I'd like to think that I know them well enough too."
"And we both know at least one longer than the other." Fou added in. She crossed her arms, and sighed. "This is ridiculous on so many levels."
"Dually noted."
. . - * - . .
Allen sighed, as he face planted into Wisely's couch. "I can't take this anymore..." He groaned.
Even Tyki Mikk was trying to get him back together with Kanda. What the heck was up with that?
Kanda kept secrets from him, Allen kept secrets from Kanda...was there really any reason they should be together if there wasn't any truth or trust between them?
There couldn't be any way to forgive and move on after all that...none that he could see, at least. Allen groaned, wishing the couch would swallow him whole already. It'd be so much easier if he never crossed paths with the FBI agent to begin with...so much better on both of them...
If they hadn't met, he wouldn't be feeling all of this regret. He wouldn't be this upset.
He wouldn't dream about kind touches and fleeting kisses, nor would he dream about Yu Kanda wrenching his legs apart and violating his scarred body.
But then... if they hadn't met... he would still be with NOAH. He'd still be drowning himself in blood.
And Lord knew how much longer he'd of lasted...he pushed himself onto his elbows, and sighed. "Maybe...arguing with him wasn't a good idea..."
"Arguing tends to be a pretty bad thing in most cases." Allen blinked in confusion, before jolting up and gasping in surprise when Link met his vision.
"L-Link!?"
"I figured you'd end up back here...Wisely confirmed it though."
"He told you I was here?"
"I'm the only one he told. But don't be surprised if you see Lenalee or Lavi sooner or later." The German man sighed, as he leaned against the back of the couch. "He's done wonders to this place, huh?"
"Mm-hm..." Allen absentmindly agreed, "Um...Link...what did you mean by if I see Lenalee or Lavi?"
Link's eyes wandered around the room, before once more landing on the Brit. "They're looking for you."
"Figured as much." Allen sighed. "But I don't want to talk to them."
"Walker, don't do this to them. Let them help you...lord knows you need it right now, correct?"
"I don't," the younger stubbornly said, looking away from his friend.
"Allen Walker, don't you dare start up this nonsense again." Link scolded. "It's all this secret keeping, and even keeping things you should be getting off your chest that getting to you. I've known you since your middle school days, and god dammit, I hate seeing you when you're constantly doing this to yourself."
"But I—!"
"Ooiii, anyone home?"
"Lavi?" Both Link and Allen asked in disbelief.
Dammit! Allen didn't want to see anyone else right now. It was bad enough that Link had found him...
"So my sources were right! There is a moyashi living here again...and Cross doesn't know."
"Please don't mention that guy right now." Allen grumbled. "I'm mad at you right now."
"But Allen~ we never get to hang out anymore!" Lavi whined.
The Brit's expression contorted into a scowl. "I was hoping to keep it that way."
"Too bad~" Lavi said with a grin. "Now. Seriously, let's catch up, hm?" Allen realized with dread that there was no way out of this one.
"What about?"
The red-head's grin faded. "I think you know what I want to speak to you about, Sprout."
Allen's own demeanor turned cold. "I believe you know that there's no room for discussion on that subject.'
"BULLSHIT!" Lavi's outburst startled the other two occupants in the room. "Al, both you and Yu? You basically complete each other in ways Lena and I never thought possible at the time. It's so painstakingly obvious that despite the lies and half-truths between ya, there's the need you two have for each other. It's literally tearing everyone around you apart...but more importantly, destroying the two of you from the inside out."
"You're over-exaggerating," Allen said dismissively with a wave of his hand.
"Allen Walker, you listen up. Either you admit your wrongs, and make up with Yu on your own, or I'm dragging your sorry ass straight to him regardless if he's working on a scene, or in his office."
"You can't make me do anything, Lavi! There's nothing there anymore!"
"And you believe that bull, Allen?"
"I do." It was stupid to think that they'd even built that relationship together in the first place.
"Alright."
"Alright?"
"Yeap. It's obvious you're super set upon your cemented ways." Lavi drawled, as he shrugged his shoulders. "Forget about Yu. Forget the little things he's done for you. Forget about the romantic dates he bothered with, the presents he had given you, about the love he has unconditionally showed from day one."
"Hey! That's—!"
"And why not? Let's throw away all the hard work he's done to help you get away from NOAH's grasp, and to help you get to a life you wished to have had." He interrupted, looking unamusingly at Allen. "Because let's face it. None of that seems to matter to you anymore. He gave you so much, and you're willing to throw it all out the window regardless of all its worth in the end. Isn't that right, Allen Walker?"
"It has worth!" Allen snapped, cheeks red from the accusations. "I'm thankful for what he's done for me! And I know I owe him a lot, but it's over." The Brit glanced at Link, who was watching the two with unsure eyes. "Even if we made it past this, we'd just ruin it again with more lies."
Anger was boiling within the red-headed male as he grabbed Allen by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to face Lavi eye to eye. "Listen up, beansprout. I've known Yu longer than you have." He hissed, "And yes, he lied to you. Well news flash! EVERYONE will lie! But most people tend to make amends to save their relationships. But I bet that means shit to you, right?"
"Wh-what? NO!"
"I want you to think about what I told you. Long and hard. The next time I see you, I expect you to be happy and Yu to not be suffering from the hell you've both put yourselves though. And don't think he's not getting lectured either. Lena's got choice words for him." He released the younger, who fell with an undignified yelp.
Silver eyes were wide in shock as Lavi had stormed out...and he knew it was Lavi...'Deak' wasn't nearly as scary in comparison to Lavi's true anger.
. . - * - . .
"Kanda! Open up this door!" Lenalee shouted for the umpteenth time that hour. She was surprised the neighbors didn't ask about the ruckus. "Open this door or I'll—"
"Or what? You'll break and enter?" Kanda's voice sounded behind her in a bored tone. He had a jacket over his shoulder, and a bemused expression on his face...or as bemused as he'd let himself be seen with.
Surprised, the Chinese woman turned on her heal, as her hand raced to cover her heart. "Oh my god...don't do that..."
"What are you even doing here? You knew I had work today."
She...admittedly forgot about that.
"I'm here to talk to you about your stupid life choices," she snapped, hoping he would forget her blunder.
Kanda knew what was coming, and he really didn't want to deal with this, but instead of ignoring the woman and heading inside to his apartment, he asked, "Which ones? Because I've made tons of crap choices in my life." Like lying to and yelling at his lover.
"You know perfectly well which I'm talking about!" Lenalee scolded. "I'm not going to leave here until you've talked about it with me."
"I don't do that whole 'talking about feelings' crap."
The green-haired woman folded her arms across her chest. "Well you're about to."
"You can stand there all you want. I'm not talking." Kanda said, as he took his key from his pocket, and unlocked the door to let himself in. Lenalee followed, but he did nothing to stop her. It was better to just let her do what she wished when she was angry.
"You will talk," Lenalee insisted, growing even more irritated with her Oriental friend when her gave her a noncommittal grunt and plonked himself down on the couch. What she needed was to get her hands on Mugen, then confiscate the katana until Kanda gave in.
"I went to take Tim out that day." Kanda said, surprising the female in the room. "I was pissed, I knew going for a walk would help calm me down enough so when I would face the Moyashi, I'd have a level head on my shoulders."
Lenalee sat down beside him on the couch and looked her friend in the eye. "It didn't work, did it?"
Kanda softly shook his head, remembering the way he'd tore in to Allen, and the way the boy had dropped to the ground and basically begged him for forgiveness. "We argued... then he gave back the ring."
"I see." Lenalee muttered. "Kanda, you should know, Allen only kept it from you because he couldn't bear you getting hurt."
"I know. But keeping it was by far the worst thing he could've done. I gave him chances to tell me what was ailing him...but he always brushed off." Kanda clucked his tongue in annoyance, whether it was at Allen for not telling him sooner, or himself, he wasn't sure.
"Have you tried to fix things with him yet?"
Kanda shrugged and glared at the TV.
"The longer you put this off, the less likely you two are to make up," Lenalee warned him, hoping he'd take it to heart. "Do you want to never see him again?"
"I'm not putting it off. That little idiot doesn't return any calls or texts I've been sending for the last few weeks."
"Then put in more of an effort to find him."
"I don't even know where the brat's staying," Kanda grumbled. He knew that he had to talk to his ex, but that was difficult to do when the kid was ignoring him.
"Have you tried asking Wisely? Because Lavi did, and he's probably talking to Allen right now."
That caught Kanda's interest. He'd have to track down Lavi later and make the rabbit cough up Allen's location.
"I'll make him tell me a little later then." Kanda decided.
"Do it as soon as possible. Putting it off is the worst thing you can do right now."
Kanda rolled his eyes, "Che, 'putting it off', is exactly what the baka moyashi is doing right now." And that annoyed him more than anything at the moment. "What's with the look?"
"This has gone far easier than I anticipated." Lenalee blandly stated. "I mean, I was expecting to have to kick you into doing anything...maybe bring Kiredori into it..."
"Why would you bring her into it?"
"She liked 'operation Yullen'."
"Again with the 'Yullen' bullshit?" Kanda asked in bewilderment.
"It's not bullshit," Lenalee insisted, Kanda nearly flinching when the swearword left her lips. "We just want you and Allen together. Don't you want that?"
"Of course I fucking do." He wanted that damned brat here right now. He wanted to talk things over without snapping this time. He wanted to run his hands down that slim body and show Allen just how much he'd hated their separation.
Allen had been gone for far too long.
It was then the doorbell rang, confusing both people in Kanda's living room.
"Expecting anyone?" Lenalee asked.
"Not that I'm aware of." Kanda sighed as he stood up. He went to the door to open it. He was met with a person holding out a box and clipboard.
"Delivery for one...Allen Walker?" The deliveryman said with uncertainty.
Kanda thought about it, before recalling just what this could be. "He's not here right now."
"Ah...if you live here...then may I have a signature for the package then?" The Japanese male took the offered clipboard, expertly signing his name. "Thank you kindly."
"Whatever," Kanda grunted, and handed back the clipboard, taking the box, then slamming the door shut before the deliveryman could get in another word.
"What is it?" Lenalee asked curiously, peering at the box in her friend's hands.
Instead of answering, Kanda moved to the kitchen, and Lenalee followed close behind. Kanda then selected a knife from his knife drawer and slit the tape, hands quickly and efficiently working to open the box. When the cardboard flaps of the box were open wide, the man seized the item within, lifting it and displaying the black and white material for both him and Lenalee to see.
"Is that... what I think it is?"
Allen, Kanda realized, had been right. This was very short.
He would have liked to have seen his little lover wearing it.
"Yeah...it's exactly what you think it is." Kanda sighed, feeling as though his heart was being torn into pieces. Something that would've been a memory of a fun, and erotic night of foreplay, love, and sex...was proving to serve as a taunting future that may never again be a likelihood anymore. "Lenalee...I need time to myself." His voice was pained, and he could feel his eyes burning a little...he wouldn't cry in front of her...he has never cried before anyone since both his fathers ceased to be a part of his life."
"I understand, Kanda." Lenalee said, placing a hand on his shoulder, before seeing her way out. The moment the door shut closed, the damn broke, and Kanda found himself trembling in despair.
He clenched his jaw and turned the outfit over in his hands.
"Is this really how you want things to be, Moyashi?" Kanda asked, "Because I'm missing you too much right now...and I know the kids do too..."
Maybe visiting Timothy and Lala would be a good thing...but for now it was late...he should go to bed...his cold, empty bed...damn, he really wanted to see Allen in this. He could almost imagine the flushed expression, the undignified squeak of embarrassment...
In his mind, he could see the expanse of leg this outfit would showcase, and he knew that he wouldn't even have to take this off to fuck the brat.
Checking the box he saw that the outfit had come with other things. A feather duster, garter belt, fishnet stockings...one of those tiny maid bonnets…and…a thong? Would he have worn that? The tiny piece of material would do a poor job at hiding the arousal he knew the boy would have...had he decided to go all the way with this costume and sport it.
Fuck, Kanda would have made the kid wear it.
If they hadn't... separated... the two of them would have been rolling in the sheets right about now, while Kanda slid the thong down his ex-lover's beautifully pale legs, exposing the boy's hard-on, which would have been dripping with precum.
Really...the imagery was getting to him at that point...he closed his eyes, picturing with clarity how he believed the younger would've looked wearing the costume. He could see the uncertainty as he'd look anywhere but at him...
Perhaps Allen would've waited by the door close to when Kanda would've gotten home...he could picture the younger saying something along the lines of, "Yu-shishou...w-welcome home...would you like a meal? A hot bath...o-or me?"
"Fuck..." Kanda growled, as he placed the dress back in the box. He'd bypass a meal and a bath just to ravish the kid...pin him against the door, attack his lips, mark his neck...carry him to their bedroom, and proceed to continue their game...
The kid's face would still be that muted red, and Kanda knew that silver eyes would be peeking up at him every few seconds.
He could imagine Allen laying on the bed, arms above his head, and his knees would be together until Kanda spread the boy's legs and settled himself between them, where he'd stay for the rest of the night.
Kanda cursed when he moved, feeling his organ brush against the material of his boxers. Even when he wasn't here...Allen Walker still knew how to get him hot and bothered.
A cold shower wouldn't do any good for him. Damn, he never had to masturbate in a long while...clucking his tongue, he made a beeline for his room. Barely three steps in, he caught a CD lying on the floor near the otherwise hidden safe. Strange, he didn't remember dropping it when he cleaned up...maybe it fell when he was in a hurry? Which one was it? He didn't get around to labeling any of them...
He moved to pick it up, and his breath caught in his throat when he bent, his underwear like a prison to his throbbing arousal.
"Damn little..." Kanda growled, before snatching the item, and examining the case.
It looked relatively new, so he probably hadn't had it for that long yet.
Actually...Kanda recalled that the last time he and Allen taped their coupling...but this one was a little too recent for that...curious, he opened the case, and headed to the TV that hung over the dresser. The player sat on the dresser beneath it, and he placed the disk in the player. He turned the TV and was met with the face of the silver eyed boy, who was looking a little more than uncomfortable with whatever he was about to do.
"Is...this thing on?" Allen asked, poking the lens of the camera. "There's a red light...I guess it's recording then...right?"
"Baka moyashi." Kanda sighed, watching the person on screen back towards the bed. Oh, so he shot it right where Kanda was standing.
Allen fidgeted on screen as he made himself comfortable on the bed. Curious as to what the white-haired male was up to, he decided to take a seat, instantly regretting it when his cock was bothered by the restraints surrounding it. "This is the most humiliating th-thing I'm doing f-for you...t-to date..." He muttered, "...u-um...Y-Yu? I-If you're watching this...I guess I'm not there, a-and you're...um...horny."
"The fuck?"
"S-So I-I hope this video w-will help...d-do what you will!" Gods, that flushed face was so. Fucking. Cute. "I-I guess I should get started? Er...m-mood...how do I do that...?" The last part Kanda knew wasn't meant to be picked up by the mic, but it did anyway. Kanda chuckled lightly. "F-foreplay...?" The younger form shivered as a thought passed through his mind.
Had... Allen done what Kanda thought he had? Fuck Kanda hoped so. He would pay a shit ton of cash to watch a recording of Allen Walker masturbating.
Silver eyes looked anywhere but the camera, before swallowing, and lifting his hands to his chest, slowly unbuttoning each button of the shirt he was wearing. "I-I can almost f-feel your hands on m-me right n-now, Y-Yu..."
Kanda shuddered. "Can he now?"
"T-teasing m-me...making m-me n-needy...Yu...n-need you..." Looked like he was already getting into it...
Kanda looked down at his trousers, then quickly undid his belt and rid himself of his pants. His underwear followed soon after.
His eyes returned to the screen just as Allen's shirt fell to the ground.
"Th-they're a-already so pert now..." Allen's breathy words sent shivers down Kanda's spine. he could feel the blood racing southwards. "You're hands...g-gods, your h-hands...Y-Yu..."
"Fuck, moyashi..." Kanda hissed, as he grabbed his throbbing dick. He could imagine Allen's mouth around it...
On screen, Allen's form arched as he pinched and pulled at his own nipples, though one hand began trailing down soon after. He was wearing sweats, Kanda had only then realized. "Ha~ ha...! T-touch me more...p-please, Yu-s-sama..."
Kanda slowly stepped back until his legs met the bed, and he sat, knees apart, hand pumping his cock. He eagerly watched as his lover rubbed himself through his sweats, beautiful face contorting from the blissful stimulation he provided to his lower region.
The younger had fallen to his side, breaths becoming a pleasured staccato pant. "Nyaah~ Ahh! T-Touch me...p-please...o-oh gods, t-touch me...!"
"Oh how I fucking want to right now..." Kanda said through grit teeth. He wanted to grab that head of white hair, leave marks on the exposed neck, while his hand would work wonders upon the boy's erection. "I want to make you scream my damn name..."
"P-please...please...!" The younger rolled on his stomach, giving Kanda's eyes the pleasure of seeing the young male pull his pants to his knees. There was no underwear to be seen. "Yu...! Yu...p-please...s-see it qu-quivering, Y-Yu...?"
"Hah...b-baka moyashi..." Kanda grunted. Well, that explained the heavy flush...and why Allen seemed to get into it rather quickly. There was a toy in his ass...one of the vibrators, and it was working him on a high setting...props to him for speaking coherent earlier in the film... "Must've been playing with himself when I wasn't there...heh...so naughty..."
"Yu~ you s-see it...?" Silver eyes peeked over his shoulder, looking directly at the camera, "I...I was s-so lonely without Yu being with me..."
"Fuck..." He could see there was another ten minutes of footage remaining in this...but with how erotic the beansprout was...Kanda wasn't sure if he could make it to the end of it...
Had Allen even been able to make it to the end of it without coming at least once in between, or would Kanda get to watch the kid cum multiple times before the video ended?
"Yu..." The boy panted, wiggling his hips a little. "Feels good..."
"Nyaaah~ s-so close...c-cum...Yu...n-need t-to cum..."
"Then cum..." Kanda growled, as he stroked his member, at that point Allen had reached for his member again, crying out, all the while his first orgasm of his session hit him. Kanda could've cum right then and there...
"Ne...does Yu wanna see me cum facing him now?" The question sounded far more innocent than it should've been.
"Fuck yes," Kanda muttered to himself, and watched as the boy sat up, legs spread and facing the camera.
He heard Allen gasp, the vibrator most likely having lodged itself against his ex-lover's prostate.
"Mm~! Naah! I-I wish...naah~! I wish it w-were Yu's cock in...inside me..." Wanton eyes of silver looked towards their potential viewer through the camera lens, "Y-Yu...Yu...Yu~" One hand was stroking his cock, the other was moving the vibrator now.
"Fuck...I want to cum in that ass..." Kanda groused, hips bucking when he barely scraped the slit of his cock with his nail. "Moyashi, I fucking want you..."
The Allen on the screen pressed his thumb to his own slit, beautiful silver eyes screwing shut as he mewled.
"Yu~ Yu~ S-So close...a-are you w-watching Yu...?" The boy panted and writhed at his own menstruations... "I-I can i-imagine you d-doing things~! Ah! C-Cum...g-gonna...YU!" Ribbons of white painted the young male's chest, some reaching to his cheek while most everything else had landed on his hand, and dripped onto the sheets.
"FUCK!" Kanda hissed as he too came, the sight of his moyashi — because god be damned if Allen was anything else — his moyashi having one of the most erotic releases he'd seen to date.
On screen, Allen managed a few more pumps, riding out his high, before falling to his side in a heap. "I-I hope...I hope y-you a-appreciated i-it...Y-Yu..."
Allen smiled, and his left hand trailed back to press on the vibrator buried in his ass.
He hissed, as he carefully removed it, placing the toy beside him. "Yu...I will love you...forever."
Kanda's cobalt eyes widened when those words had left his Moyashi's lips. Those words had been the very words his fathers both said to each other, and even him when he was very young. He felt a wetness fall down his cheek, and belatedly realized he was crying. He chuckled dryly, wiping the offending droplet away as the tape cut away. "I will love you forever as well, Moyashi...Allen."
The blackness of the tape last only a few seconds before Allen's appearance was once again on screen. He was dressed in a white long-sleeved button-down, and jeans. His feet were bare as he sat where the previous video had otherwise taken place. He was…solemn in this recording. "Yu…there's so much I wish I could tell you…so much I have to say…but…I-I'm afraid. I'm afraid that should I say anything, I'll be alone…and you won't bother coming back…"
Kanda fixed his jeans, as he watched the footage. He was confused. When had this been recorded? "What in the…?"
"I…I guess I should start with the most important part first…" Kanda watched as Allen picked up a box, one which he realized was the very one he found those files in. "In this box…are files I never want you to see…about someone you cherish in your life, other than myself. You've often talked highly about them…a-and…Yu, oh gods, Yu, I wish I could tell you so much more than I'm about to right now. But…chances are…I doubt you'll find this."
"But I did." Kanda noted, curious as to what possess the younger to tape over the erotic tape of himself.
"I'm making this recording, because I don't think I have the courage to tell you face to face…and I know that keeping it to myself like that will only cause me more strife than what I can deal with. So…here we go. Raku Kanda…your father…is Crowned Clown now. I don't know why, and I don't know what for…but all I ask…all I desire from you…is to please…please don't hate me for never telling you."
"Moyashi…"
"Please…I'm so sorry I lied…I'm sorry I never told you…and if you decide that you don't love me for thinking I was protecting you…then…I-I understand if you leave…just know, that I love you…I will always love you. Forever…" Tears began to trail down his face, and he wiped them away with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'll grin a-and bear it…if…if you find happiness elsewhere…even if it hurts me…I-I love you so much, Yu…and I-I'm s-so sorry!"
The confession had then ended, and this time, the tears didn't stop. Kanda covered his mouth, as the water fell from his otherwise hardened eyes. "M-Moyashi…"
... ... ... ...
I cried at the end of this chapter...it's so painful...so, little fun fact. There are currently 50 chapters in this fic. :3
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On another new chapter of Fade to Gray!