There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It's not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I'm just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight
-Jealous of the Angels, Jenn Bostic

Elizabeth walked through the house. She didn't know what her next step would be. She wanted to honor her husband in some tangible way. The funeral would be in a couple days, but she didn't know if that was enough. It didn't seem that anything, planting a tree, making a scrapbook, writing a poem, could honor all that her husband had been. She wanted to honor the love that was still very real, but she didn't know how.

For now, she wandered.

You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I'd fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know
So I'll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then
-Jealous of the Angels, Jenn Bostic

At the funeral, Elizabeth only read the remarks prepared for her. They were sweet, heartfelt, but they weren't hers. The children seemed to take it well. At least, a well as could be hoped. They cried a lot, but they comforted each other well. Henry's family did a good job of trying to include her in their conversations. They were doing the best they could to make sure she had support. Even so, Blake and Nadine seemed to be the only people who could understand where her mind was at any given moment.

Elizabeth needed to find a way to remember and honor all that Henry had given her. A eulogy would never be able to encompass what she needed to do. It wasn't her way. It might have been Henry's way, but it wasn't hers.

Her hero had died. He made her want to be a better person, and she had to find a way to believe that his spirit could live on.

He said I'll call you Hon when I get there,
Ten minutes later he was in the air,
She dropped the kids at school and headed home,
Walked in and turned the front room TV on
She could tell that there was something wrong,
Every channel had the same thing on,
Now seven years have come and gone away,
But she's still hurting like its yesterday
-To Say Goodbye, Joey + Rory

A couple weeks went by. Elizabeth managed the State Department with the help of Nadine. She was slower to smile, but she hadn't entirely lost her vitality. Nights were the most difficult. She made it a priority to be home for the kids every night. They often had their own activities to do, but her presence was still very necessary. That left her often alone in the house, with only memories of Henry to keep her company.

He had been larger than life. His joy, his ethics, his bravery, his love... All of him. He had died a hero.

Elizabeth wandered through the kids' rooms gathering up laundry. When she stopped in Jason's room, she noticed his collection of superhero action figures. Her eye was caught by a model of Superman that looked so much like Henry, it took her breath away. Eventually, she went back to picking up laundry, but her mind was captivated by the almost mythical fantasy of the action figure.

'Cuz she wants to put her arms around his neck,
and look in his eyes so blue,
and say Honey I don't regret,
A single day I spent with you,
She wants to tell him that she loves him so,
and will until the day she dies,
It ain't that she can't let him go,
She just wants to say goodbye
-To Say Goodbye, Joey + Rory

One Saturday morning about a month after Henry's death, Elizabeth walked into her son's room.

"Jason, let's go shopping."

"I don't need anything. Why support a capitalist autocracy when there is no need?"

"I want to go to the comic book store."

"Okay, I'm in."

They walked into the comic store. Jason was in his element. He already knew all the staff. Elizabeth didn't know what any of it was, but she found the section with Superman merchandise.

"Mom, why are you so into comics all of a sudden?" Jason was confused. His mom was eclectic, sure, but she had never shown much interest in superheros.

"Because Superman reminds me of your dad. What do you think about starting a collection?"

"Really? You wan to learn about comics?"

"I do. We can go to the comic gathering."

"It's called Comicon..." Jason refrained from rolling his eyes.

"Well, we'll go to it. And you can teach me about all your favorites."

"There's this really great web comic out about Superman. I'll show it to you." He was getting excited.

They picked out a few figurines and books to keep them busy for a while. Jason was so motivated and enthusiastic; it gave Elizabeth hope that they could connect. Henry lived on in Jason's passion for science fiction, conspiracy theories, and superheroes. For Elizabeth, Henry lived on in the unfailing morals, bravery, and protection of Superman.

Twelve months later...

"Okay, Blake, I'm leaving early. I'm taking Jason to go see the new Marvel movie."

"Have a good time, ma'am. Be sure to stay after the end credits."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Blake."

He smiled. This hobby had really helped her find herself again, and she took pride in her knowledge of trivia.

Now, instead of her breath catching every time she saw Superman, she smiled. She remembered a man who told her she was valuable. She remembered a man who was one of the most respected religious scholars of the day. She remembered a man who had given his children a strong moral center that had endured and would continue to endure long after his death.

She knew Henry had wanted to do many more things with his life, but he had accomplished everything he set out to do on their wedding day. That thought made her smile. In his short life, he had lived fully. He had seen the world, met important people, and accomplished so much.

And he was hers. Now more than ever. Since he wasn't there to assert himself, Elizabeth was in charge of making sure he was remembered for his greatness and goodness.

Connecting with Jason was one way she was able to honor and continue Henry's legacy.

Henry was always hers. Her memories of him were her most cherished possessions. She had taken to writing down all of her memories of Henry so that she wouldn't lose them as she aged. He was still able to be a balm to soothe the burns life gave her.

She managed on her own, but not really on her own, not truly. Henry hadn't known if she would be able to make it without him, and she was glad she would never have to find out.

Singin' hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I'm just jealous of the angels
Around the throne
Tonight
-Jealous of the Angels, Jenn Bostic

She still missed him, almost beyond belief. But she had found a way to live her life between two worlds. She lived in a liminal space. Her connection to Henry had not diminished when he died. She kept him alive in her heart. She remembered the way he held her when she was tired, scared, or sad. She also remembered the way he held her when they danced and made love.

He still held her heart safe. Only because she wouldn't let his legacy die.

In your arms I can still feel the way you
Want me when you hold me
I can still hear the words you whispered
When you told me
I can stay right here forever in your arms

In your heart I can still hear
A beat for every time you kiss me
And when we're apart,
I know how much you miss me
I can feel your love for me in your heart

In your eyes
I can still see the look of the one who really loves me
The one who wouldn't put anything
Else in the world above me
I can still see love for me in your eyes
I still see the love

And there ain't no way
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way
And there ain't no how
I'll never see that day

Cause I'm keeping you
Forever and for always
We will be together all of our days
Want to wake up every
Morning to your sweet face, always

I'm keeping you
Forever and for always
We will be together all of our days
Want to wake up every
Morning to your sweet face,

I'm keeping you forever and for always
I'm keeping you forever
Yes I'm keeping you baby
Forever is in your arms
-Forever and For Always, Shania Twain