Cullen felt the world all around him change, as he felt the hardness of a bed press against his face as he began to fade from the darkness of the world around him, to another that seemed all too familiar.
Cullen could feel the hard stone beneath his feet as he looked around the room, the open windows of the circle tower reminding him of his time in Kinloch Hold. He took a deep breath, smelling the ocean upon the air, Cullen felt confusion wash over him as he looked around. He heard the waves of the ocean lap against a shore just outside the windows. Kinloch was within Lake Calenhad, nowhere near the ocean. But he could swear he heard the ocean within the very room he stood in.
"Maker, where am I.." He spoke under breath as he looked around, the candles flickering in the wind of the ocean. His hands braced the window as he looked across the waters, seeing the flickering lights of a distant city just across from them. Just to the south, he saw the moon rise over the waters, it's reflection like a shimmering candle in the darkness.
It felt still and quiet. Listening to the sound of the tower that he was in spend it's nights in slumber.
Cullen couldn't know if this was a circle tower, he saw the books strewn upon desks, parchment spread about the floors. Such things reminded him of his time within the tower, before it fell under blood mages.
Cullen listened to the silence, how it seemed to overwhelm him in the darkness of the tower. He heard shuffling and shouting in the distance as he saw the hallways light with torches.
He drew himself towards the door, looking through to see a few young women standing in the arch of a doorway, concern plainly written over their face. "What will happen to her?" He heard one speak as he looked at the closed door, hearing shouting come from within.
" I don't know...Probably the same that will happen to us if we pass the harrowing.." He saw their eyes divert to the ground as they spoke, hearing the sounds of screams echo from the door.
Cullen felt his stomach sink and his heart race as he felt the fog wash over him. Was this a dream? He could not tell. But he feared, what cruel events his mind had planned for him as his hand reached for the solid wood door.
He felt the intense heat of the room. Templar's standing around, hands upon blade and torch as they gathered.
"You are not special." Cullen's eyes looked over the room, finding a man in the center, watching a woman struggle with chains as she cried silently. He saw his hands dig into her scalp, drawing her hair back, exposing his blade across her hair, cutting dangerously close to skin. "But instead an outcast. You are no longer noble, but instead you shall be broken." He saw the dark brown hair cascade slowly to the floor. He heard the snickering and laughter that rose up around him.
He looked at the tears roll down her cheeks, her lip split and bruised as she cried. He looked across the freckles on her face...The contempt within those big brown eyes..
Anara…
His heart ached as it raced, beating faster within his chest. What dream was this, what hellish nightmare was created in his mind? He looked over the group, watching men, Templar's grab her arms, pull at her robes as she struggled against it. But then, his eyes widened at the sight before him.
He stared deeply into the burning light of The Chantry's sunburst. Surrounded by two rings of equal heat and light.
No…
He heard the men shout as he heard the rattling of chains as he watched Anara struggle, her voice screaming at them.
No.
"Hold her still!" He heard the man in charge shout as she was swarmed, her body keeping still as her shouts were muffled.
He heard the hiss as the brand pressed against her skin, he winced as he heard her scream and felt her pain all through eternity. He watched in horrible silence, as he watched her become branded.
" You were not expecting this, were you?" He heard a voice speak behind him. He began to be overwhelmed with shame as he turned around, to see the familiar figure of Anara standing there.
"It was so long ago you see." Her arm reflexively reached towards her shoulder, sheltering the mark from eyes. "But it was the ways of Ostwick, those that survive their harrowing must be branded. To forever show that the maker did truly turn his back on us."
Cullen watched her move, her eyes looking pityingly at the sight before her. " They cut your hair, they demean you, they strip you down and brand you. All identity of who you were before. Gone, for the maker has turned his back on us."
"I'm sorry.." Cullen felt the words struggle from his mouth as he looked at Anara, her face becoming passive as she looked back.
"I, I am who I am now because of this. Because of them." He saw her jaw clench as she spoke, She turned her head away, letting out a long and angry sigh as she turned from Cullen. "You shouldn't see this..It doesn't get any better."
Her screaming finally stopped as the brand was pulled away, burning it's way through her skin, permanently left just below her shoulder blade.
"Anara.." He spoke, turning back around to her as she had her back to the memory. He moved forward, his hand resting on her shoulder as he spoke, "This could've been reported to the Chantry in Val Royeaux."
He heard her scoff, " Val Royeaux has no power in the free marches Commander. Orlais is just as despised here as they are in Ferelden." She drew herself away from the painful memory, sparking the pain within herself as she felt the brand hurt in her shoulder.
She looked out into the hallway, the two woman still standing there scared, "They're frightened."
Anara looked at them, her face passive as she looked at them, "They should be, but they luckily never experienced it. Neither made it to their harrowing. " Her finger pointed to the left one as she spoke, "She became an abomination, taken over by a fear demon." She looked then into the sad eyes of the other woman, " She will kill herself 5 months from now. She will jump from the tower, instead of having the Knight-Commander's child.
Cullen felt the sickening feeling wash over him as he looked at her. "Anara.." He felt his hand reach back out for her, pulling her shoulder around, forcing her to look at him.
"You shouldn't be here commander. I'm sorry for what Solas has done, but you do not need to know this pain. You do not need to be burdened by these memories. " He felt her hand reach out, brushing against his cheek as she spoke, " The night is long Commander, you shouldn't spend them in the memories of apostates."
He saw a single tear roll down her cheek as he felt a jolt run through him. Pulling him from the darkness of her memories into the brightened world of a new day.
Cullen's eyes winced as he looked up, watching the ceiling of the tent flap in the wind. It felt as if morning had been upon them for hours already, but his body was not accustomed to movement since Solas had torn him asunder with his magic.
He felt his shoulders tense as his mind replayed what he had seen last night, in both his dream and in reality.
His body ached as he pushed himself up from the bed, the tent void of presence as he heard the rustlings of life just outside. His legs throbbed as they moved, limping slightly as he opened the tent, letting in the light of a new day.
His eyes winced as he looked at the harsh glare of the morning sun. The white of snow filling his vision with blinding light. His hand held up to block the light as he looked around, his eyes desperately trying to adjust as the white faded slowly, filling in the green of the earth and the colors of the people that surrounded him.
"Commander." He heard a stern but older voice call to him, hearing the rustling sound of plate and chainmail pacting into the snow and earth. "I see you're up. We worried you'd had fallen under a spell."
Cullen felt his jaw clench as he remembered Solas's arm touching him, leaving the burning mark within him. It's pain swelling and blurring his vision, only to lead him down darker paths.
"Yes, I had feared so as well." Cullen's vision had finally returned as he moved his arm from the light of day, allowing himself to look at the sullen face of Blackwall. "I barely remember what happened. I heard your name, but not much else."
"Aye." Blackwall spoke, nodding slightly to the commander, "You weren't well, you were sliding like some snake across the snow. We had to pull you from the snow before someone saw anything."
Cullen could feel the embarrassment creep to his face as he looked at Blackwall's face. He wished to change the subject as quickly as possible. "Where is, Cassandra?" he tried to find something else to talk about, wanting to take the subject away from himself now. Blackwall cocked an eyebrow, trying to figure out what the commander had up his sleeve.
"She's over there with Trevelyan." His head nodded in the direction towards the frozen river. Cullen could only think of a slight nod back as he shuffled his way across the snow and ice, sword in hand as he moved.
His mind paced through the memories that he waded through last night. As he stepped closer, he looked at Solas in the distance, his body close to Anara as she stood there with Cassandra, who was pointing to Skyhold.
Cullen walked closer, his feet moving as he moved closer, his hand clenching as he moved towards Solas, his back straightening as he watched the Commander move closer. "Commander Cullen." Cassandra spoke as he continued his march forward as he grabbed Anara's arm, pulling her away from the group, "Commander!?" Cassandra spoke, trying to remain authoritative as Cullen continued walking, their feet touching the ice that branched out into the water.
"Cullen." Anara spoke as she tried to pull her arm from his grip. "Commander. You're hurting me." She spoke through gritted teeth as he kept moving, making distance between the seeker and her elf.
"What did I see?" Cullen spoke, his voice low as he stopped their feet upon thin ice. Anara looked at him, her eyebrows furrowed in anger at the commander's actions. She breathed deeply as she tried to keep herself silent, buying time and thinking of the right words to say.
"What did I see!?" Cullen spoke as his hand touched her back, his fingers touching the scarred brand on her flesh. He looked into her eyes to see her struggle with the pain she felt from his hands. Her back arching as if she was trying to pull away from a hot breath was ragged as her mouth twitched.
"You saw Ostwick for what it really was. I have seen Kinloch hold through the eyes of a Templar caught within the grasp of a desire demon." Cullen felt his face turn pale as he looked at her. Her words running through his past. " I saw contempt for mages, but I saw suffering by their hands." She pulled herself from his hand, Cullen's hand pulled back slowly as he looked at her.
"Anara I.." His words were lost as he tried to find the right words to say he watched her shake her head gently as she spoke.
"Commander." Her feet scraped against the ice as she looked down at her feet. "The branding. It was my families idea. That all mages in Ostwick were to be branded, if they survive the harrowing. I don't think my family expected me to survive." A sad smile spread across her lips as her eyes struggled with his. " But I did, and here I stand." Her eyes turned from his as she looked up the mountain, her eyes looking upon the ancient fortress that towered above them. "The morning will not wait for us Commander, neither will the people."
Cullen watched as she turned her back, her coat torn to the cold around her but her tunic hid her scars and marks from the eyes of the prying now. Perhaps an act of kindness from a survivor, perhaps one from the devote of Andraste. Which he couldn't tell, but the morning sun rose with the winds, a reminder of their presence still within the Frostbacks.
"Anara.." He heard Solas speak as she reached the Seeker and him, he saw her hand rest on his shoulder in comfort as she spoke quietly to Cassandra, preparing the villagers for the ascent.
Cullen stood there in the courtyard, the large stone walls surrounding them as the noise around him grew. "Skyhold…" he spoke under breath as his eyes looked at the towers that raised up to the sky. Those that survived Haven had followed them here, to this fortress in the mountains, within the Frostbacks. His mind wandered as he looked across, looking at the steps that had broken and the roofs that fell in. It would take much work to make this fortress formidable in the presence of Corypheus. But he felt that he could trust no one better now then what the inquisition had become in these final days.
But he could feel a gnawing amount of guilt wrack his mind as he thought of the morning. How his hand pressed against the painful mark upon Anara. How he pushed past her reserves and past his own patience wishing to get answers for things that were plainly spoken in the fade.
He stood there, his back to the gate as people filtered in. He knew she would wane in last behind the refugees, her and Solas trying to aid those that needed aid. Cullen watched as Sera rode on Iron bulls back, her hands gripping his horns as if trying to steer the great Qunari. Blackwall behind them as they all moved towards the large wooden shack, watching as kegs and casks were rolled within. All of them, wishing to take a cup of what was brought with.
Dorian held stacks of books within his arms as the accompanying mages moved towards the large building. Dorian speaking to them of Tevinter, the real Tevinter and not the idea of Alexius. He had them pawing and eating from his hands as they walked. Dorian was a charismatic man for all reasons, but arrogant beyond belief.
He watched as the other advisers stood there among each other. Their fingers pointing to weak points within the walls and questioning the structural integrity of the whole place. It had seemed as if these women knew nothing of rest anymore. Their minds always thinking and planning ahead, ensuring that inquisitions success. Cullen would be over there, he should be over there…
His head turned as he moved towards the other advisers as they all spoke, talking of the inquisition and it's success in the future.
"Commander." Cassandra spoke as she looked at Cullen approach, joining the rest of the group, "We were just discussing the future of the inquisition. Is there anything you wish to add?"
Cullen felt a knot in his throat as he thought his words out carefully. " I believe you all have decided what is best for the inquisition. But we must fortify this stronghold. Repair the bridge across to the tower, strengthen the walls, fix the roofs. We are in the mountains after all."
"Agreed." Leliana spoke as she looked at Cullen, the commander reflected all of their concerns now within Skyhold. "Where is Anara?" She spoke as they looked quickly around the courtyard, the stairs upward empty and the noise dying down.
"I believe her and Solas are still assisting survivors down in the valley. Some people wish to remain within the reach of the inquisition. Especially after Haven." Cassandra looked at Cullen, looking at his expression change as she spoke, she knew the Commander was hiding his insecurities now. As he was hiding the guilt that he felt from his actions earlier that morning. But she remained impassive to him as he wandered further and further into his mind.
"So after we have decided then on the inquisition. On the inquisitor?" Josephine spoke, the quill in her hand as she still wrote. Everywhere they went she wrote, as if to catalog in detail their journeys, or to send letters to allies in nearby Ferelden and Orlais. Cullen wondered if she was writing for the sake of self preservation, or for posterity. He only feared that she had become a creative writer like Varric. Fueling the hearts and imaginations of people with his stories.
Leliana nodded, "I agree Jose. As I assume Cassandra does as well?"
"Of course, we need a beacon. Something in which the people can look to, someone that the represents the inquisition."
Leliana nodded as she took a step back. "Then we must prepare, for I suspect I am hearing the regaling tales of Varric in the distance."
Cassandra turned to see the dwarf walking towards the gate with a few of the remaining guards following him. Hearing the tales of the Champion of Kirkwall, her illicit love affair with a Tevinter slave and a kiss from an Apostate.
"Where is Anara?" Cassandra spoke as Varric walked by, grabbing the attention of the dwarf for a split second.
"Relax Seeker, she's on her way up with Solas." he leaned in towards Cassandra, her face not amused by the Dwarfs speculation. "If I was a betting man I'd say Anara is stringing along our good Commander."
"Ugh." Left Cassandras lips as she looked at Varric shrug.
"Fine by me Seeker, but I'm a betting man." She saw the back of his head as he continued his stories in the distance, moving away from the gate.
She turned her head up to see Anara and Solas crossing the gate as she looked at the other advisors scatter to the winds as if nothing had happened.
"Anara.." She spoke as she walked within the courtyard waving her hand to her. "Come."
Anara nodded to Solas as they departed, her feet moving towards Cassandra who stood there, her back straightened and her arms crossed behind her back. " They arrive from every settlement in the region. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage."
They looked at the injured settled in tents within the courtyard, Cassandra kept speaking, leading Anara around, "If word has reached these people, it will have reached The Elder One."
Anara felt the stone under her feet as they began to climb the stairs, leading upwards to new locations. "We have the walls and the numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat is far beyond the war we anticipated. We know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you."
Anara grasped her hand as she looked at Cassandra, " He came for this." She spoke as she held up her hand, the newly marked scars upon her skin showing, " And now it's useless to him, so he wants me dead. That's it."
Cassandra shook her head, "The anchor has power, but it's not why you're still standing here." Their feet kept moving as Anara looked at the trees that grew within the place. The colors of their leaves reminding her of the fire at Haven. ' Your decisions let us heal the sky. Your determination brought us out of Haven." They turned up again, more stairs meeting under their feet as Cassandra continued her examination.
" You are that creatures rivals because of what you did and we know it. All of us." They crested the small staircase as Leliana stood there, blade in hand out stretched to her as she walked forward.
"This inquisition requires a leader: The one who has already been leading it." Anara's eyes turned down towards the courtyard. Hearing the noise and masses that began to gather. She was a sight to see standing there above them all, blade being bore to her, all she had to do was take it.
She saw them look to her, waiting for her words, for her guidance, for her leadership. Anara turned to Cassandra, her eyes silently begging for her to stop this. "I'm not.." She stammered as she looked at the two advisors, "I'm no leader."
"Yes you are. You lead us to close The Breach. You lead the mages from Alexius. You lead us here to Skyhold." Cassandra's hand touched her shoulder as she spoke, "You saved us in Haven. We cannot think of anyone else who deserves leading us more."
She looked back out, her eyes shifting through the crowds as she saw Josephine stand there, a smile upon her face. She looked out there and saw hope once again, hope that she thought would've been long gone since Haven. She felt her chest tighten as she looked at Cullen, she could still see the guilt within his eyes, but saw the pride that welled in them as well. Solas stood there, a smirk played upon his lips his words within her mind.
Vhenan, let them believe in you. Believe in the you that they see. That they believe in.
" A mage at the head of the inquisition?" She spoke, looking again towards Cassandra.
"Not a mage. You." her face was stern in her decision and her words as she spoke, further pulling Anara in.
"Perhaps this is what the Maker intended." Her hand extended out, bringing her back to the sword within Leliana's hands. " There would be no inquisition without you. How is will serve, how you lead; that must be your to decide."
Anara felt her hands tremble as she reached for the blade.
Believe in yourself.
Her hand steadied as she grabbed the hilt, pulling the blade slowly from Leliana's hands, her spymaster more keen to her movements than even she knew.
"With fear running rampant, they need to see a mage standing for what is right." Her eyes looked out over the courtyard, "I will defeat Corypheus with them, not over them."
Cassandra spoke, nodding gently, "Wherever you lead us." She moved forward besides Anara, "Have our people been told?" She shouted down into the courtyard as Josephine moved enthusiastically.
"They have. And soon the world." Josephine stood in excitement as Cassandra continued.
"Commander, will they follow?" her eyes rested upon Cullen. He was at a loss, but his heart raced as Cassandra looked towards him, expecting him to move.
He felt his heart race as he moved, looking towards the soldiers and men that fought alongside him in Haven, "Inquisition! Will you follow?"
He heard the cheers roar louder with his words, "Will you fight?" the sounds picked up as Anara stood there looking down at Cullen, his back to her. "Will we triumph?" She felt her throat tighten as the sound grew louder again, a joint cheer flowing through the people.
" Your leader! Your Herald." She watched as he drew his blade, holding it up towards her as he shouted, "Your Inquisitor."
The cheers grew as people began to chant, their arms held high as Anara stood there, blade in hand feeling their belief, their confidence in her. She let out a breath finally as she raised her arm, holding the sword high to them.
For the briefest moment she saw a smile spread across the lips of Cassandra and Leliana as she stood there, Anara Trevelyan, the Inquisitor.
Her eyes looked at Cullen's, a smirk spreading across his lips as she thought to herself how the Commander seemed to have a flair for the dramatic.
"Unsheathing a sword and holding high. Now that needs to be in my next chapter." Varric spoke to himself under breath as he stood beside Solas. "What do you think will happen now Chuckles?"
Solas looked down, his back pressed against the wall, "We defeat Corypheus before he can wreak more havoc on the world."
Varric groaned to himself, "You're all kinds of sunshine and rainbows Chuckles.." He saw the dwarf shake his head as he stood in silence beside him, perhaps internally writing his next story.
Cullen felt himself finally relax as he looked at Anara, her eyes softening as a gentle smile spread across her lips as she turned to Cassandra and Leliana as their promise, will finally come into action.