For those that may be missing it, I've been posting multiple chapters a day this week. You may want to click back through the chapters posted to make sure you're not skipping any! This is Chapter 12 of the series.- Wild
A Christmas Miracle
December 23rd, 1998
"Hey," Nyah smiles as the first face I see when I open my eyes again.
"Hey," I smile back trying to focus on her face through the fog of sedation and sleepiness. "What are you doing here?" I ask knowing that she is supposed to be off for the holidays, spending time in Sweden. When I look around I realize I'm in a hospital bed in the middle of a warehouse. A cot is set up not far from my bed and monitoring machines with Nyah's backpack resting there along with a partially eaten bag of chips. This girl loved her Doritos and I smile to see she's made herself at home already.
"Cassiopeia called in reinforcements to help look for you." She smiles taking a seat on the edge of my bed.
"She did?" I ask somewhat surprised to hear she'd call in a Search and Rescue team just for me. That was practically unheard of in our line of work. We were on our own if we made a mistake, that was made perfectly clear in training. This wasn't the Marines where no man was left behind. Council policy towards us had always been sacrifice in the name of duty. If we were lost on a mission, so be it. They weren't willing to lose anymore valuable assets to save just one.
"Yes. At first they all insisted you must be dead. No way you could survive a fall like that from that height. But Cassiopeia was insistent to look for you. She refused to give up, saying that with our training there was still a possibility you could be alive; that you'd certainly be badly injured but alive. Ulric agreed with her. He let her use whatever resources necessary to find you. And then he sent me." She answers with a smile and my eyes widen a bit hearing he let Cassiopeia use whatever she deemed necessary to find me. "He said we couldn't lose such a valuable resource in you and wanted the best on the ground looking for you. You are truly the exception, Jules." She smiles at me as bewildered as I am about this. "Everyone else has already been re-tasked to different missions now but I'm catching a ride with you guys back to the States. I'm taking over the remainder of your field contract with the American Alphabet Soup," She laughs softly hinting at the American three-letter agency we're currently contracted with, the CIA. With all the abbreviations we're sent to work for we've begun to call them Alphabet Soup. "I'm going to be with them through the holidays now that you're hurt. They have another short errand they want to run in Cuba before the New Year. They're putting you on desk duty, though, as soon as you're cleared. So you're not off the hook just because you took a swan dive from sky. " She winks and laughs again teasing me. "We're switching places. You'll be my Control Officer on this one."
"I'm sorry." I sigh feeling bad looking down at my arms for the first time. The left arm is in an external fixture from my hand to my mid-forearm supporting my broken wrist and metatarsal bones in my hands, I'm guessing from the pin placement. The right arm is held together with an even bigger metal external fixture going all the way down my arm and with extensions for each finger that makes me look like I'm part robot with bionic arms. My torso is also wrapped with a slim shell of sorts and this is a mystery to me. "I know I crushed my arms but what is this for?" I ask unsure why I'm in a stabilizer like this.
"You have six hairline stress fractures in your spine." She looks at me with widening eyes. "You must have taken a helluva hit. You're a Christmas miracle, Jules." Her smile widens. "You're lucky you weren't paralyzed."
Oh. I sigh to myself. I thought my back just hurt like hell from the bruising of the fall. I had no idea I'd fractured it but given the impact it makes sense.
"I don't remember the impact." I take a deep breath, "Only the before and after." I give her a small smile trying to reassure her I'm okay seeing the concern in her eyes. "I am really sorry you were pulled away because of me and forced into working. I know how much you love Christmas in Sweden with your family. I am really sorry, Nyah."
"Don't be, silly. You're alive!" She smiles gently patting my knee under the blanket. "And now I get to spend some time with you. Maybe we can actually see a movie together while we're both stationed in DC. I've heard Shakespeare In Love is brilliant." She smiles radiantly.
"I've been wanting to see that, too. Sounds fun." I smile thinking about doing something fun and normal for a change. I hadn't seen a movie in the theater in far too long. "You said you're catching a ride home with you guys. What did you mean?" I return focus on the issue at hand remembering what she said.
"You, me and Cassiopeia are on the next military transport out of here. Cassiopeia is speaking with your surgeon now about recovery time moving forward and then we're leaving for Langley."
"Oh," I sigh feeling a bit deflated. When I'd left on this mission I planned to show those old salty bastards how badass of a spy I was in spite of my young age and being female. Getting in and out in record time as Cassiopeia had told them I would. I hope she isn't too mad at me for messing up that part of her dossier on me to them. "How angry with me is she, Nyah?" I brave asking the question to my friend I know will tell me the truth. "She told me not to unhook myself and I ignored her. I had to if I had any chance at surviving and saving the mission."
"I can't tell, honestly." Nyah answers me looking somewhat fearful as well. "She's been pretty much either deadly silent or screaming at people most of the time. Nothing in between. She's definitely angry. I just can't gauge if it's with you or if she's just angry at the situation. The more days that passed and we hadn't found you the louder both her silence and screams became. Your GPS tracker went out the moment of impact." She looked at me with haunted eyes. "She sent me, Isis, Thor, and Ares to comb the banks of the river and a huge search grid expanding out on either side within 12 hours of losing contact with you." My eyes widen considerably in shock to hear she had three of the top First Gens tasked with locating me. That was unheard of given their value to pull them off other projects for this. I slink down deeper in the bed wanting it to swallow me whole thinking about how pissed off Cassiopeia was going to be at me for all of this.
"Cassiopeia ran Command for the Search and Rescue from the carrier in the Persian Gulf. She even had F-16s making low passes to see if they could spot any signals you may try to send during their bombing raids with your flares." She adds with a smile and raised eyebrows in bewilderment of all this effort for me as well.
"I hit the water pretty hard." I remember that my watch had been torn away along with my backpack when I hit the water. The watch served many functions, the least of which was a GPS tracker of my location. "Everything tore away. I didn't have any supplies. All I could think of was getting south of the border."
"When the base commander reported to Cassiopeia they had an injured female Rubicon, she flew here by F-16 immediately to see if it was you. She knew it had to be given the location with no other Rubicons in the area but us. You were in surgery when she arrived. She waited for a status update to call and report in to Ulric. By that time we'd arrived I could hear her on the phone with him. He wanted to inject you with a permanent tracker so this never happens again."
My eyes widen in horror with the thought of losing another bit of freedom.
"He was yelling at her through the phone about losing you. But she argued with him to remember the reasons we don't use permanent injected trackers. So that we can move freely between agencies, missions and divisions without being tracked by another or our entire purpose of EHWs would be compromised. He backed off pretty quick when she made him see reason. I think he was just furious at the thought you may have been killed over something as stupid as a frayed cable. He went on and on about how much time and money and resources had been put into you to be wasted over a cable that cost less than a hundred dollars to manufacture. Then demanded that from now on our standard issue extraction cables be able to carry at least a ton in weight in the event anything like this happens again, we are prepared."
"Nice." I sigh with sarcasm to hear his concerns. He didn't want to lose me as expensive Council Property. "Where is she?" I have yet to see my mentor.
"She's lingering around here somewhere. She went to talk to the doctor about when you'd wake up. They thought it might be sometime today." Nyah smiles.
"How long have I been out?" I ask with narrowing brows realizing quite some time has passed apparently.
"About 48 hours give or take since you first appeared at the gate and passed out."
"Oh crap." I sigh heavily. That means its' already December 23rd. What a horrible way to be spending Christmas. "Why are we in a warehouse?" I ask wondering about our surroundings again.
"It's part of the base. They wanted to keep you separate and Cassiopeia wanted to be able to keep an eye on you and the package." Nyah smiles turning around and looking over her shoulder. That's when I see it. The giant server I'd stolen and saved was sitting on a pallet, strapped in and ready for delivery. I'm in disbelief it's still here, in the Middle East, if it was so important. I expected it to have been delivered stateside already.
"I think she's hoping you'll be ready to travel tonight. She's been anxious all day to know when you'd wake up. But strangely she only pops in to ask me if you're awake and then disappears. I have no idea where she goes to but she's been doing a lot of running around the base, literally. I think sitting in here with you was making her stir crazy." Nyah shrugs with a smirk befuddled by our great leader. "She confuses me. She can't wait to find you; then arrives by F-16 to ensure she was here as soon as possible. Doesn't leave your side for a second for the first day and a half and then just disappears when you're supposed to wake up."
"She's avoiding me." I take deep breath knowing that usually wasn't a very good sign. It meant she was trying to control the emotions she had towards me by simply being absent and unable to explode on me in public. Her getting yelled at by Ulric over this incident I'm sure isn't going to help. As my Control Officer for this mission, I was her responsibility: her very expensive Council asset that for the last several days was lost and assumed dead. I'm sure she was stressed out under that kind of pressure. I felt bad to be such a burden to her. The one charged with the task of ensuring my survival all these years for whatever purpose they created me for that was still a mystery.
"Do you remember when we were seven and eight years old?" I think back to a different time. "That first long summer at camp. Our very first day there, when she huddled us all together at the top of the diving platform?"
"Yeah, I remember. It raining and cold we were scared to death of the lightening striking all around us." Nyah nods with a distant look in her eyes. "She told us to jump. To dive like she'd just taught us to do from the side. It didn't matter if we were afraid. It was necessary and we were to learn that the mission always comes before self."
"Right." I nod, "And if we were too scared, she'd throw us in anyway."
"And she did throw us." Nyah remembers. "She threw us both off that platform!" She shakes her head, "God, it hurt hitting the water. I was too busy screaming my head off to remember to dive though and hit the water like a pancake."
"So did I." I smile shaking my head at the memory. "Then she herded us back up there and said the same thing. That we either jump and dive in our own, or she was going to throw us out there again." I pause smiling more widely at my friend. "You were the first to jump. Our fearless leader had stepped forward. But I didn't. I just stood there, frozen in fear remembering how much it hurt to hit the water. So she threw me in again. Only this time I remembered to dive and brace myself for impact."
"I can still remember you smiling at me under the water that we were both still alive." Nyah smiles and laughs.
"In a horrifically cruel way, she had taken the fear away." I add quietly thinking about how that statement applied to the majority of Cassiopeia's training methods: terrifying yet effective.
"You jumped out of the pool and ran back up the ladder, bypassing the middle platform where everyone else was. You went straight to the highest one." She shakes her head smiling, "You just looked at her below you on the way by and launched yourself off the platform in swan dive." Nyah laughs, "The look on her face was priceless. Like she wasn't prepared for you to respond that way to her throwing you in."
"I just wanted to show her I wasn't scared anymore. That I'd rather jump than have her throw me in." I remember quietly. "To do it on my own terms." My eyes look over my mangled but intact arms. "That dive she taught us saved my life." I glance up at her. "My arms broke the fall hitting the water's surface." I smile and chuckle softly. "Without doing that dive, I would have been a pancake. It was weird, though, I wasn't afraid. I knew what I was doing when I unhooked myself." I admit, "I felt this sense of peace just sort of wash over me as I was falling. Like, no matter the outcome, I was going to be okay." My eyes sweep over the pins protruding from the skin of my arms. "I don't remember the impact. I was knocked unconscious and when I came to, it was like a dream. I was suspended in the water below the fires above me in this silent dark, cold world. The pain came flooding back to me in an instant reminding me I was still alive. My will to survive kicked in by then and I started swimming."
We hear a large metal door creak open and then close. Cassiopeia appears for the first time. She stops and stares at me, with eyes sweeping over me. She's definitely been out running; she's sweaty and in PT gear. "I'm going to get cleaned up and then we are leaving. You've been released." She announces walking by us without saying anything else. No pleasantries exchanged of hello or it's nice to see you're not dead. She just walks towards the cot and pulls out a duffle bag from beneath it. "Nyah, tell them to load the server and stay with it." She orders her before turning to leave.
Nyah scrambles off the bed beside me. "Yes, ma'am." She looks at me and then leaves just as quickly. Within minutes the giant roll door of the warehouse peels open and two men with a forklift enter. They look at me curiously in my hospital bed watching them and then get back to work not wanting to ask too many questions. Nyah is overseeing the operation to move the server and soon they're gone and the door rolls down again.
Cassiopeia appears again beside me looking refreshed and ready to go. She's showered; changed into black BDU's and her hair is pinned up in the perfect French Twist. Without bothering to wait for a doctor, she unhooks my IV but leaves the port in my arm.
"We'll hook you back up in transport." She continues speaking as she lowers my bed railing, clearly in a hurry. "You'll need another bag of fluids and several more bags of antibiotics over the next 48 hours according to the doctor. Then we can remove it." She nods towards my port reaching for my shoulders to help me up and I realize she wants me to move now. My muscles are sore and I'm still a bit groggy but I slide my legs around the bed to plant on the floor while she helps to lift me to my feet. "We don't have a lot of time. The transport plane is waiting for us on the tarmac already." Rapidly she works to gather our things. The duffle bag I left behind in Diego Garcia prior to my mission has been saved and brought back with her and she pulls out a small stack of clothing from inside to help me dress. I slip on my black track pants with her help. She then removes my torso brace and hospital gown carefully as to not catch my new metal fixtures. Slowly we put my arms through the black, tank top t-shirt holes one at a time and then over my head. With that accomplished she puts the brace back on and then grabs my favorite oversized sweatshirt and places it around my shoulders zipping my arms inside. She grabs the scissors beside my bed near the bandages and I can see the wheels turning in her head. She will cut my sleeves off once we're on the plane to accommodate my arms but right now we just don't have the time. I wobble slightly slipping into a new pair of running shoes and Cassiopeia helps to steady me before kneeling to tie them. I feel like I'm 3-years-old needing help to get dressed. I'm grateful, but it's sort of humiliating that she has to be the one to help me. "Let's go." Cassiopeia grabs the pillows from my bed and we're out the door.
A military jeep is waiting outside for us and drives us directly to the giant AC-130 waiting on the tarmac not far away. It looks just like the one I jumped out of. The one I last saw flying away from me as I plummeted into the Euphrates River and when we walk up the ramp, I see the server. The server I nearly died to save is now heavily strapped down for safety on its pallet in the middle of the cargo bay. I still haven't figured out why they hadn't sent such an important package on to the CIA already.
I don't have to verbalize the question for Cassiopeia to know what I'm thinking when I look at it and then her as we take our seats.
"It's your package, Julia" She says, "You're delivering it. Just as intended." She nods at me with intent eyes and then looks away. Nyah is waiting for us already and both she and Cassiopeia reach around me working together to strap me in without the use of my arms bundled inside my sweatshirt right now. The ramp closes and when I look around, I notice we are the only ones onboard. Just two crew members as pilots and the three of us with this giant server. It makes sense with such a Highly Classified package onboard.
Cassiopeia is still mostly silent and says nothing while the plane takes off and gains altitude. As soon as we're in the air, she digs through the bag of hospital supplies she's brought along and comes at me with the scissors. "Nyah, unbuckle her." She instructs my friend. They remove my sweatshirt and she sets to work cutting away the right arm sleeve completely and the left so it looks more like a zippered vest. When they're finished they thread my arms back through and zip me up. My arms may not be of much use right now but at least I have them. I'm just thankful my pain meds are still in effect or all this moving would be excruciating. I know I won't be allowed those much longer as I'm back on duty but I'll take what relief I can get.
Nyah carefully adjusts the pillows on my lap so I can rest my arms and smiles. "There. That will be more comfortable." She says while Cassiopeia hooks my IV back up and hangs it over our heads against the bulkhead of the plane.
"Thank you." I tell them both and lean back trying to settle in. It's cold and loud and generally very uncomfortable but it could always be worse, I remind myself as flashes of falling out of the sky blaze before my eyes; new images for my nightmares that won't soon be forgotten.
Cassiopeia settles in with some sort of briefing reports and Nyah rummages through her backpack pulling out her iPod. I'm instantly reminded that mine is now gone, shattered and floating down a river in Iraq.
"You lost it, didn't you? Your iPod." She asks seeing my shoulders and eyes slump when I see hers.
I feel horrible. I know how expensive they are and she gave it to me as a Christmas gift. She might come from money but I know she bought these on her own. "I'm sorry. It was torn away with everything else when I hit the water." I apologize. "For the week I had it, I really loved it. Amazing to carry my entire music library wherever I went. I'm sorry it's gone, but thankful you gave it to me to experience."
"It's okay, Jules. Not like you lost it on purpose." She smiles, "I'd buy you another one if I weren't flat broke." She shakes her head and I know that's true. We make next to nothing as compensation given our line of work. I'd make more working at McDonalds right now than being an Elite Human Weapon with my pay grade currently because of our age. We truly are slaves to the system. "Here." She tries to hand me her iPod. "You can have mine."
"No," I push it back at her with my left hand that's in far better shape than the other, narrowing my eyebrows. "I appreciate the gesture but no, Nyah. I can't accept it. You've already bought me one and I lost it. You earned this one through blood, sweat, and tears. You keep it." I smile, truly grateful to have such a caring and generous friend.
"Well, we can at least share on the ride home." She smiles again more widely and holds up one ear bud so that we can both listen to music together.
"Thank you." I smile and take it happily, wedging the little bud into my ear beside her. I snort a little with laughter when I hear Bing Crosby's voice crooning out I'll Be Home For Christmas. "Bing's I'll Be Home For Christmas," I shake my head laughing, "Nice choice." I nod realizing that it is nearly Christmas now.
"I know it's your favorite Christmas album." She laughs, "Speaking of favorites!" Her eyes light up. "I have something for you." She digs back into her backpack and removes a small tin container that is decorated beautifully with Swedish Dala horses, symbols of Christmas and my heart beats a little faster.
"Nana sent these for you." She adds quietly with a small smile passing them to me. Cassiopeia's eyes dart to the tin as well hearing whom they are from. "She is without a doubt, the best baker. Her Christmas biscuits are legendary." Nyah adds and my heart ends up as a lump in my throat thinking about Maria. The only mother I have now and the one I'm never allowed to know. "She told me to tell you, they are made with great love and she misses you and wishes you a very Merry Christmas. She has no idea you nearly died and were missing, though." Nyah mentions and I'm relieved to hear it. Maria doesn't need to worry about me. As Cassiopeia said, it only puts her in more danger.
"She just thought we were all going on a mission together and sent them along. " Nyah adds quietly as I open the box revealing the gorgeous delicate cookies of all kinds. This small tin of cookies is her way of sending a tiny bit of love to me, letting me know she is still refusing to give up. Loving me from afar if she must, but still loving me.
Nyah reaches back into her pack and retrieves another tin that looks identical to mine. She looks at Cassiopeia and hands it to her. "I was told these biscuits were made by a Swedish Christmas Tomte just for you, and that they wish the recipient much love, peace, and a very Merry Christmas as well."
The corner of her lips turn into a tight smile at Maria's wording and I can't help doing the same while simultaneously refusing to cry. Maria's humor is quite funny in referring to herself as the mythical Swedish gift giver It's also telling of her stubborn determination in refusing to give up on her child. It's heartbreaking that she can't simply say, these are cookies from your mother who loves you to Cassiopeia, because she knows that Cassiopeia will reject them as such.
Cassiopeia stares at the box, holding it in her palm like an explosive and Nyah and I share a glance. We both know how heartbreaking and delicate the situation is as well as Cassiopeia's feelings on the subject. I promised her I'd never speak of Maria or the fact we were sisters ever again and so I look away. Concentrating on my own box of cookies instead and giving Cassiopeia time to process and compartmentalize the situation she wasn't prepared for. This is the first gift I've ever received from Maria and I'm gathering it's the same for Cassiopeia. I had another mother who gave me gifts out of love before in my life, but recognize she hasn't. Maria was her one and only, and had never given her a gift before. This was a first for her.
I reach in and take hold of a delicate Ginger Snap and finger it gently. Everything about the biscuit cookie is perfect. These were made with great care that's very clear and I take a bite, savoring it and sigh. "This is so good." I can't help but smile at Nyah talking around the cookie in my mouth. "It tastes like Heaven."
"Told you," She smiles and laughs softly, "Best baker in the world. Marna and Mama are close seconds but no one is better than Nana. Marna is the best cook, that's her thing. But she always lets Nana do the chopping and carving saying she's the best with a knife for obvious reasons." She laughs softly with slanted eyebrows and flashes of Maria's knife throwing abilities blaze through my memory. "But Nana is the best baker. Absolutely. She might have been a badass spy in her day, but she is the Queen of all baked goods now." She laughs softly.
Cassiopeia eventually pulls the box closer towards her. Setting it on her lap and opens it. She hesitates for a long moment before removing a cookie. The way she's handling it, it may as well be Kryptonite. And then I realize it is her Kryptonite. What this cookie represents in all the things she can never have: love and a real family.
While she stares at it, I take another bite, settling back against my seat comfortably again and sigh happily listening to Bing Crosby singing us home for the holidays. Cassiopeia finally takes a bite and her shoulders slump beside me. I know she's relishing in this little delight as well with how she's savoring it but will never admit it out loud. She doesn't say anything but leans back and settles in like the rest of us enjoying our moment of peace and joy, taking pleasure in the small things.
"Best spy baker in the world." I whisper in a hushed tone after taking another bite, agreeing with Nyah's description and smile when she laughs.
"Aren't you going to yell at me, ma'am?" I ask Cassiopeia quietly several hours later after Nyah has fallen to sleep beside us. I can't take the silence anymore or the anticipation of when she's finally going to explode on me for this mess.
"Do you want me to yell at you, Julia?" Cassiopeia responds, looking up from her papers.
"Not really. I'm just expecting it and I'd rather get it over with now. If that's okay, ma'am." I sigh deeply, trying to shift my arm and get more comfortable. Sitting this long is not comfortable with a beaten body and fractured back.
"Why are you expecting it?" She asks with pinching brows.
"Because I failed."
"Why do you think you failed?" Her eyes seem genuinely confused.
"Nothing about the operation went as planned." I shrug thinking about how wrong it had all gone from the very beginning when we even had to change my entry into Baghdad.
"You improvised and still obtained the data." She answers me, "That is a mission success, not a failure." She still looks confused.
"But I failed you." I clarify feeling guilt and embarrassment. "You stood up to those old salty bastards for me saying I was capable of getting it done and-"
"You did." She cuts me off, agitated. "You got the job done."
"I'm just sorry if I've embarrassed you in anyway, General." I speak quietly and refuse to look at her. We've come along way over the years and where I once reviled her, I now greatly respect and look up to her. The older we get, the more I find myself not wanting to let her down by coming up short given she's trained us. She is my sister and that has definitely changed how I view her. Even if we both try to deny it and ignore it, it's there. That knowledge. And what kid doesn't want to grow up to be like their big sister? She may be emotionally handicap given how she was raised, but there is no denying her mad skills in action.
If I'm destined to live this life, I want to be the best at it like she is; to have not only the respect of my peers but also my opponents. When she speaks, even the heirs listen to what she has to say. She's earned their respect and someday I want to earn hers. To be seen as an equal and no longer a burden she must bear.
"You didn't embarrass me, Julia." She says quietly and I snap my head up to look at her. "I wanted to wring your neck for not listening to me by unhooking yourself and letting go." She adds with an edge to her tone that is bordering on scolding me. "But no, I wasn't embarrassed." She shakes her head, taking a deep breath and looking away. "You did your job. You did what needed to be done to save the mission."
"I did what you trained me to do." I add quietly in barely above a whisper. "Mission before self." I quote our motto as an EHW, Elite Human Weapon.
"I know." She nods quietly still refusing to look at me. "You did exactly what I trained you to do. I'm not embarrassed." She repeats looking back at me. "Never embarrassed, Julia." She gives the briefest of smiles and looks away again while my heart skips a beat. She's never smiled at me before in my life. "Get some sleep." She adds and goes back to her work.
I try to get comfortable by my seat is too erect. Nyah has reclined her seat to be more comfortable to sleep but my arms are both useless to attempt the same. As if reading my mind, Cassiopeia reaches over and presses the recline button on my seat. "Thank you, ma'am." I lay back and get comfortable, staring at her profile silently sitting beside me, then to my bionic-Terminator-like arms and the cookie tin from Maria sitting on the pillow between them and then to Nyah, asleep next to me. I can't help but smile. Things weren't turning out to be so bad, after all. We are actually all comfortable in each other's presence for the first time ever. I feel as though I've finally proven myself in a way to Cassiopeia with this mission if she's not embarrassed by me. We are gaining ground. Whether we will admit it or not, we are all family- the three of us. I haven't celebrated a holiday with my family in a long time. Maybe it's the drugs I'm on giving me tingling feelings of nostalgia but I hope this is a Christmas I'll never forget.
December 24th, 1998
Several hours later, the plane lands on the private airfield at Langley. It's already dark with nightfall. We stand by watching as their team moves in to unload the server. I hope whatever is on that thing is worth my arms being destroyed and my back broken. I shiver in the cold with my bare arms exposed and a few snow flurries dance around us in the wind as a storm moves in.
A line of black SUVs is also waiting and when the server begins to descend down the ramp the car doors open. The First Lady Katherine Thorne and the Director of the CIA approach us. "Agent Taylor," the Director stops in front of me, extending his hand and then pulls it back quickly. His eyes flash to my arms and I can see the moment of embarrassment spill across his features that I can't exactly shake his hand. I take the higher road and give him an out. I raise my left hand and offer him my fingers with a small smile. He gently clasps them with a small nod and smile of his own. "Another job well done."
"Thank you, sir." I answer and he carefully releases my hand.
"Julia," Katherine speaks, "I'm here on behalf of the President. He gives his warmest regards and is thankful, as am I, of your safe return. He wanted to come himself to give thanks but it's far easier if I just come alone to things like this. Whenever he travels it requires a lot of pomp and circumstance and meetings like this need to be discrete." She smiles nervously jamming her hands into her pockets in the cold air.
"It's okay, ma'am. I understand." I return the smile.
"Are you in much pain?" She asks looking at my arms and I can tell she's honestly concerned. This is all very intriguing to me. The President and First Lady were my superiors, sending me out on missions and yet they were the only heir commanders so far in my life who spoke to me as if I were human instead of a simple slave and machine at their disposal.
"Nothing I can't handle, ma'am." I smile softly trying to reassure her. "I'll be okay. They make us pretty tough." I glance over at Cassiopeia as the one that made me this way, able to handle so much pain and keep going.
"General Hendrix is right to have such unwavering faith in you." The Director acknowledges me and then Cassiopeia.
"She's a very good teacher, sir." I add quietly, saying it out loud for the first time but wanting to give her recognition. It's the truth and I'm mature enough now to admit that. "The General has taught me to stay alive in the most unlikely of circumstances and still accomplish my mission." My eyes dart briefly to Cassiopeia's to see the shock on her face she's trying to conceal at my praise, and then looks away.
"I've got to go with this thing." Nyah smiles softly nodding towards the server being loaded into an unmarked white van for transport breaking the awkward silence. "I have orders to copy whatever is on it for The Council archives." She informs the Director, who nods his consent, as if he had any say. "This is likely going to take me all night to help them access it. I'll see you tomorrow, though, before I leave on my mission." She looks at me. "Merry Christmas, Jules." She smiles. "I'm glad you're not dead." She smiles more widely with a laugh.
"I'm glad I'm not dead, too. Merry Christmas and thank you, Nyah." I smile.
"General, ma'am, Director." She addresses Cassiopeia, Katherine and the Director before leaving with the team escorting the server.
"Excuse me but I must be going." The Director announces, motioning towards his convoy of vehicles. "There is pageant my grandchildren are performing in this evening that I must not miss." He smiles and it's easy to see he is genuinely thrilled about the idea. "I'll have a car drop you at your hotel, General."
"Thank you, sir." Cassiopeia replies.
"Merry Christmas, everyone." He smiles and climbs into his car.
"Would you two like to join us this evening for dinner?" Katherine smiles at us nervously. "They always have the most wonderful menu on Christmas Eve. I think you'll enjoy it. If you don't already have other plans, that is?"
My eyes dart to Cassiopeia not sure how to answer. This isn't something I'm used to as a simple Worker Bee. Cassiopeia, I know, has dined with the upper heirs and those who are our superiors a great deal for work, but this is all new to me. Having the First Lady of the United States invite us to stay for Christmas Eve dinner and treating us both like we were real human beings wasn't something I was used to when around members of The Council.
"Thank you for the kind invitation, ma'am." Cassiopeia answers very diplomatically. "But I'm afraid I already have a prior commitment this evening and Julia really needs to rest." Her eyes shift from Katherine to me.
"Of course, I'm sorry." Katherine sighs with an apologetic gaze and smile, "Of course you need to rest and heal. Perhaps another time you are in the city?" She looks at me and then to Cassiopeia extending the invite indefinitely.
"Perhaps, ma'am." Cassiopeia responds but I can tell she's hesitant about accepting such an offer. She's not used to mingling out of her station either on such cordial terms. "Thank you."
"Merry Christmas, Cassiopeia. Merry Christmas, Julia." Katherine smiles at us both extending the greeting to each of us and making it personal; recognizing we are human beings and not just agents or EHWs.
"Merry Christmas, ma'am." I smile back deciding that I like President Thorne and the First Lady very much. Since they treat me like I'm human, I'm happy to do more missions for them. Katherine Thorne has a formidable, intimidating reputation but to me she has been nothing but kind. Something very rare in my world of late as I'm treated more like slave going on mission after mission, getting stabbed, shot, bludgeoned, beaten and broken repeatedly in the name of duty. I've been fortunate to make it out of this last year alive.
We say our goodbyes and travel in silence to the hotel.
By the time we reach the room, I'm exhausted.
"All I want to do is take a bath." I sigh sitting on the edge of the bed and take note there is only one. A King size bed no less but still only one. I haven't shared a room with Cassiopeia since I learned we were sisters last month in Sweden over Thanksgiving break. I'm fine with it. I just wasn't expecting it.
"Can you manage on your own?" She asks looking at my arms.
"I'll be fine, ma'am." I assure her. "This is a piece of cake now that my arms are held together by external fixtures." I use my left hand fingers to carefully pull down my sweatshirt zipper and smile. "Much easier then when they were floppy, broken mangled messes trying to get out of my wet clothes that first night." I smile using the same hand to remove my torso bondage. "Thank God for adrenaline the wonder drug." I smile at her knowing she understands. "I would never have been able to swim out from under the oil fire, climb in that boat, and get out of those wet clothes or set my bones without it." I shake my head thinking about how true that statement was as I continue to strip my clothes off slowly.
"Is that what you did?" She asks quietly after a moment standing by the window watching the snow fall, she turns back to me. "You found a boat?"
I realize I've never told her what happened after I fell. She hasn't asked yet, which was odd given we would have normally had our mission debrief the minute I woke up. She would want to know all the details. This time she seemed more afraid to know them given the hesitance in the way she was asking and had avoided it until I brought it up.
I nod yes before verbalizing it. "Yes." I speak quietly pausing in my undressing for a moment before continuing on. Slowly removing my track pants. "After I cut loose from the tether, everything was in slow motion. I dove like you taught me to. Remember feeling the burn of the flames and then nothing. I hit the water and was unconscious. When I came to I was suspended dangling in the water like I was just frozen there. It took me a minute to realize I wasn't dead and for my brain to tell my lungs I needed to breathe. Excruciating pain came over me like a wave and that's when I realized my arms were broken."
I sit down on the edge of the bed again, using my feet to pull my pants off while she listens. "The bones in my right arm were just jutting out at me like snapped twigs. It had taken the brunt of the impact with the water. I felt myself floating up towards the oil fire above and knew I needed to keep swimming away from it. Adrenaline surged through me and I swam as hard as I could for as far as I could. When I surfaced a palm tree in the debris was floating by. I grabbed on and let it carry me down river. It was freezing though and I knew I needed to get out of the water as I was already in the first stages of Hypothermia and shock. Suddenly I realized I was floating through Babylon and there was a sailboat. I willed myself to swim again and grabbed on. Set it free and climbed aboard. Trying to get my wet tactical gear off was no small task." I sigh thinking about that night.
My hands pull my tank-top away from my side to carefully thread back over my arms. "I was lucky. There were fresh towels and sheets onboard so I could dry off. I was shaking uncontrollably by then from both freezing and shock but I knew I needed to set my arm or risk cutting off permanent blood flow to my hand. So I wedged it in the cabin door and pulled until the bones snapped back inside my arm." I speak quietly pulling the shirt over my head. "I ripped a piece of the boat's trim off to use as a splint and then wrapped my arm with a towel to stop the blood loss and secured it with my belt. I curled up in the little bed and tried to get warm and I think I passed out then because I woke up in the morning sometime the next day still floating down the river with the rest of the debris. I stayed on the river for as long as I could and then sank the boat, walked the rest of the way along the shore and waited for nightfall. The Ma'dan gave me a robe and something to eat for the first time in five days and then gave me a ride to the border. I stowed away in the back of a truck headed for Kuwait City and then jumped out about a mile before the base. I remember lying down on the pavement by the gate and that's it."
I finish the story and this, impromptu debrief and have also finished undressing myself down to just my underwear. My body is covered in a horrific display of bruises everywhere now that have set in from the impact and mission prior to that. First and Second Degree burns also cover parts of my hands, arms and sides near my ribs from my fiery water entry. Given the scars already on my body from this year alone, I feel like Frankenstein. My left hand fingers trace the line of raised flesh along my side where I was shot last month. I smile at her seeing the pinching expression on her face as she looks at me with arms crossed standing in front of the window. "At least I wasn't shot this time." I shrug with a deep sigh, carefully opening my duffle and looking for something I can wear to sleep in after my shower. "I feel like all I ever do anymore is recover from wounds, mission after mission."
"It's inevitable. I've broken every bone in my body at least twice if not three times. Shot, stabbed, choked and beaten more times than I can honestly remember." She states turning back towards the window. My heart clenches at how horrific that statement is. "You'll learn and in time, you'll be injured less and less. Unfortunately though, you will still be injured. In our line of work it's unavoidable. And injuries like yours," She glances back at me over her shoulder, "There was no way to avoid that given the situation. You did the best you could." She walks towards the door and pauses with her hand on the doorknob. "I'm going to get you something to eat and then I have to leave. I have somewhere I need to be but Nyah will come check on you tomorrow. I'll be back the day after."
I nod in understanding. That explains the singular bed situation. She's not staying here and I find myself disappointed she's leaving. I was kind-of looking forward to having some one-on-one time with her, trying to learn more about my mysterious forbidden sister and her life outside of our strictly confined world. I know next to nothing about Cassiopeia and I know that's the way she prefers it. I'm trying to respect that boundary but it's difficult now that I know who she really is to me. But I gave her my word and I intend to keep my promise. If that's the one thing I can do for her as her sister, then I'll do it.
"You don't have to get me anything to eat. I'm not really hungry." I shake my head moving towards the bathroom, "But thank you, ma'am. And thank you for trying to find me." I broach cautiously. "I know that's not Council Protocol. So thank you." I nod at her and then pause with my own hand on the bathroom door handle. "Merry Christmas, Cassiopeia." I give her a small smile and then turn back and open the bathroom door.
"Council Protocol or not," She speaks from the doorway and I turn curious as to what she's saying, "I never leave my people behind." I stand there frozen for a moment and slack-jawed, with stunned surprise. She just called me, 'my people.' "Merry Christmas, Julia." She adds and is gone before I can blink.
The one thing that I'm learning to be true of Cassiopeia, is that she's full of surprises.
The water feels incredible as I slide in and submerge myself completely except for my arms I leave resting on the edges. The water washes over me and I let its warmth penetrate every single pore down to my bones, washing away the icy memory of the stinging river.
It's become ritual now; this process of submerging myself under hot water after every mission. It's quiet under the water and I'm alone with my thoughts. I am free to open my compartments and process what has happened.
My mind rapid fires through every single moment of my mission from the moment I first stepped foot onto the AC-130 that night to drop into Baghdad until I lay down on the pavement at the Army base and passed out. The faces of each of the 13 men I killed rapidly fly before my eyes, and I try to pause on each one, recognize them and the life I took. I only allow myself to linger on the mission and the memories for however long I can hold my breath underwater. Several minutes usually pass before I come up gasping for breath.
As I gulp for air this time, everything is put neatly back into their boxes and I'm ready to let it go. I wash myself the best I can with the use of only my left fingers and carefully scrub around the burned skin on my arms and hands. I linger probably far longer than I should given my wounds but it's Christmas Eve and I have no where to be but here.
Eventually, I climb out and pull my pajama pants on and then a new tank top undershirt to sleep in. When I walk out of the bathroom I stop dead in my tracks at the sight before me. Sitting on the nightstand is a small box wrapped in beautiful Christmas wrapping paper with a perfect bow. I hold my breath as I walk towards it and sit down on the bed. I stare at it for a moment before picking it up and unwrapping it. Removing the lid I find a small note card lying over the red tissue paper. It's Cassiopeia's handwriting and I gasp that she's left me a Christmas gift. The idea that she would is unimaginable. Her beautiful scrawling penmanship simply reads, You've earned this one.
When I pull back the tissue paper a brand new iPod is staring back at me. I inhale a sob when I turn it on and already waiting for me is my Mission Playlist with AC/DCs Thunderstruck as the first song. She remembered every single song that was playing during this last mission and downloaded them all for me. I have no idea how she was able to pull this off given we'd been together the entire time since the conversation with Nyah on the plane. Except for just now, when I was in the bath. I was only in there for 30 minutes but she works fast as both a spy and apparently Secret Santa. I smile shaking my head when I see she's also downloaded Bing Crosby's White Christmas album having heard Nyah say it was my favorite.
I slip back into my back brace and can't stop the tears or the smile as I turn out the light and climb into bed trying to settle in and get comfortable. I just can't believe it. First, that she gave me a gift, and then, that she was listening to my conversation with Nyah enough to repeat my own words back to me and finally, in realizing what she was really saying with my words, You've earned this one, without actually saying it. She is proud of me.