Chapter 31 - Facing Up

Sharm el-Sheik State Hospital - Sunday 23rd June

Tamsin walked the long corridor to room 602, a walk she had done twice a day for the past week. She smiled at the nurses as she passed them by, not knowing any names, just a few familiar faces.

"Hello Kate, any changes?" She inquired as she entered the room and sat down on a vacant seat by the bed. Lauren had a corner private room, and the window faced the Sinai desert, not that Lauren knew that as she had not woken once since she was rushed in on that fateful day.

"No nothing," Kate replied. She was holding onto Lauren's hand. Lauren was lying with tubes all around her and machines beeping. "Maybe today is the day she wakes up," Tamsin replied.

"Perhaps, I hope so," Kate answered. Kate had kept her private plane on standby every day as she could not leave Lauren behind and the doctors had assured her that she should not be moved. Kate was never going to risk it.

"And what about-" Tamsin trailed off, not certain how to ask the next question.

"Adam?" Kate asked. "He's being repatriated tomorrow. The assistance company is flying him back at ten o'clock. The funeral home will collect him and take him home."

Tamsin looked down, not sure of what else to say. Lauren had not woken since she was hurt, and Tamsin was unsure if she even knew about her father dying. It had been a horrendous week. After the explosions, all people were evacuated back to their own countries. A task that was made easy thanks to Lauren registering them. Kenzi and Hale had flown back just a few days ago and Dyson only yesterday. He wanted to stay, but she asked him to help her with another project, finding Bo. No one had heard from her since she discharged herself the day after the explosion. It was believed that she had gone back to Canada, but no one knew for sure.

"Have you had any news on the whereabouts of Bo?" Kate asked.

Tamsin simply shook her head.

"Right then," Kate responded.

"How are you bearing up?" Tamsin asked.

"Well my husband is dead and my daughter is in a coma, so I guess you can say I'm in a pretty dark place right now. I have Donald looking for Bo. My sons are arranging the funeral. And I'm just waiting, waiting for my beautiful girl to wake up." She started to cry, "I did find out something earlier though, that did bring me some comfort."

Tamsin leant over and patted Kate's free hand with her own.

"Lauren was there, she was there when Adam died. She was the medic treating him. The junior doctor said that she held him as he passed away, so at least I can find peace in that he was not alone." She let go of Lauren's hand and wiped away a tear, replacing her hand immediately after.

"Do you suppose that is why Lauren has not woken up, is she in shock?" Tamsin asked, sitting back in her seat.

"The neurologist reports that her brain function is fine, but whatever happened has shut her down and I don't know what to do. Adam would have known, and so would Lauren, but me I'm just a socialite, what the fuck do I know about saving my family?" Kate buried her head into the bed covers. "Where the fuck is Bo Tamsin? She should be here, cause if she's not then what was the point of it all? What was the point of Adam going to the airport and what was the point of Lauren going back into the building after the blast?" Kate stood up and walked to the window.

Tamsin saw it as her needing time and went outside to her regular coffee machine. It was horrible coffee in little paper cups, but she was happy for the temporary distraction.

"Hi Tam"

Tamsin spun around, spilling her hot coffee all over her hand.

"Vex, what are you doing here? I thought you left with the others?" Tamsin took some paper towels and dried her hand.

"I needed to shut down Intrigue, I will leave tomorrow. I just need help with something, or more like someone." Vex pressed the machine for his own coffee. "Bo's been staying with me, but only during the day, I don't know where she sleeps at night. She's all shades of fucked up right now. She mutters about Lauren, Lauren's dad, how she's dark, she's constantly drinking, smoking, or sleeping. Today I can look after her, but I told her I was leaving tomorrow, so she has taken her things and I don't know where she has gone." Vex sipped his coffee before throwing it away, "Damm, this is shit."

"Well she can't have much; I have her suitcase." Tamsin walked closer to Vex, "And you should have told me she was with you." Tamsin added, punching him hard in the arm.

Vex rubbed his sore arm, "She begged me not to."

"Ok, so from the beginning, she leaves every night and returns every morning, but you don't know where she goes?" Tamsin asked.

"Yeah, basically what I said," Vex replied.

"Right then, we're going to find her. I will get Kate tell her what you have said and take her back to the hotel; you can meet me at Intrigue. We will see if she left anything behind." Tamsin began to walk away, stopped and turned around, "Oh, and if you see her don't say a word about me coming, you understand. I need to talk to her, got it."

Vex nodded.

Tamsin did as she said she would and took Kate back to the hotel villa. The hotel part was closing but had kept a few Villas opened for the last remaining people.

Intrigue Nightclub

"Christ Vex, did she actually sleep here?" Tamsin asked while circling around the mattress that lay on the floor with only a few sheets on the top. It was in Evony's old office, her large desk dominating the small room. An ashtray was overflowing with cigarette butts on the top on the desk.

"Well, I did not hear her complain?" Vex answer monotonically.

"You wouldn't, she would have been too busy killing the fleas from the bed. Either that or too drunk to care." Tamsin added, noticing the empty bottles of vodka nearby.

"Yeah, well that was Bo, drank and smoked all morning, then slept it off all afternoon, then every evening she was gone and did not come back until the sunrise. She became a bit like a bat." Vex said, sitting on the edge of the table and crossing his legs underneath him.

"Did you not think of calling one of us, at least Kenzi? She was out of her mind, stir-crazy with worry and here you are just hiding her." Tamsin stood in front of him, arms folded, with hurt and anger in her eyes.

"Calm down Tam, she asked me not to and I won't apologise, I did the best I could," Vex answered in reply.

"Well Lauren needs her, she's in a coma, and I don't know what else to do. They have a connection, and if only I can get her to the hospital then maybe, just maybe she might wake up." Tamsin said feeling deflated.

"Yeah, I heard about the Doc. Shame that." Vex replied, uncrossing his legs and letting them hang from the table.

"Don't speak like that," Tamsin walked and stood directly in front of him, arms crossed "She is not dead, so don't be speaking like she is."

"Whoa- whoa there Tam, ok back up no problem, got it," Vex answered, hands in the air above his head in surrender.

"Well don't be flipping my bitch switch, cause if you do you'd better buckle up and enjoy the ride," Tamsin replied.

"I thought she would take some space, drink a bit then come to her senses and call one of you. Then after two days, I knew she was fucked up. I gave her the keys to my apartment and got her some change of clothes. She showered, sobered up and then she started to go out. Wherever she's going has a shower at least." Vex added.

"Well aren't you all heart and charitable," Tamsin muttered, looking around the room for any clue to whereabouts of Bo.

"I am in fact, charitable that is. I remember as a little boy making my mum donate some tins for the Harvest Festival." He smiled, smugly.

"W-what are you on about?" Tamsin half-heartedly replied.

"Harvest Festival, you know where you give tins to the poorer people in the community and have a festival with a tombola." Vex continued, Tamsin remained with a blank expression, "Well, I guess you don't. Must be an English thing?"

"Right, ok, whatever," Tamsin replied,

"Not to mention that I have donated clothes to the poor, well I did until I realised that my clothes were too good for the poor," Vex added proudly.

"You donated your clothes?" Tamsin asked. "The poor would have given them back."

"What you trying to say?" Vex said defensively.

"Well mate, seriously. What man walks around with a woman's handbag?" Tamsin asked.

"This is not a woman's bag, it's a unisex bag," Vex answered proudly, grabbing hold of his black satchel.

"More like a 'you need sex' bag," Tamsin replied, laughing at her own joke. "Now, come on help me look for anything that might be Bo's."

Vex jumped off the desk and started to move items around, not really sure of what he was looking for, only knowing it was in his best interest to look like he was trying to help.

Tamsin lifted the mattress to reveal a small jotters pad, very worn and well used. It showed signs of where it had been folded in half, possibly to fit into a pocket of sorts, "Vex, do you know who's book this is?"

"Well, neither Evony nor I keep diaries." Vex raised his eyes in annoyance, still upset about being insulted on his dress sense, "That belongs to Bo, she scribbles in it from time to time, I read it, nothing of interest just the ramblings of a drunk."

"You read it?" Tamsin asked, surprised by his honesty, "No consideration for a bit of privacy?"

"And what do you intend to do with it?", Vex reverted the question back to Tamsin, not happy with her tone of voice, "Keep it safe until you meet with her again? Nah, course not. You are going to read it too, so off your high-horse princess."

"Point taken," Tamsin replied, already opening the book and having a quick scan over the pages. Vex was right, it was mostly the ramblings of a drunk. And then, the clue that she needed. Tamsin hoped she had got it right and knew where she would be right now.

"Bye Vex, I would say it was a pleasure, but it wasn't for me." Tamsin turned on her heels and headed toward the door, leaving a stunned Vex for once unable to speak.

Once Tamsin had left the room Vex found his voice, too late for Tamsin to hear, but he still felt the need to shout it out, "You're fucking welcome."

Sharm el-Sheik State Hospital

The nurse was busy checking in on Lauren, she had brought with her the usual extra blankets and pillows. She only knew this one visitor of her patient due to working only the night shift. Normally the sleeping privileges were reserved only for immediate family, but this woman looked so lost, she was given the extra bed every night without hesitation.

"You know they say that talking to them or reading helps. It's the familiarity of the voice that sometimes brings them back quicker." the nurse softly spoke into the quiet room.

Big brown eyes meet her gaze, "What could I say?"

"You will know what to say, just give it a try Bo. Night, I will wake you as normal." she gently squeezed her shoulder and left the room. The nurse would always wake her at the end of her shift at five am, allowing Bo to slip out before Lauren's other guests arrived.

Bo stood and walked over to where Lauren's luggage was being kept. Taking out her geek t-shirt, she walked to the bathroom for her shower and to change into her favourite item of Lauren's. It was already ten pm, and her nightly ritual was just starting.

She emerged fifteen minutes later, dressed in only her underwear and that tee. She climbed onto the bed and sat at its foot, pulling the blanket over her. She had the digital photo frame in her hands. She had decided to give talking a try, it beat simply crying all night. Not knowing quite what to say she decided on re-creating their love story to Lauren before she slept beside her on the fold out bed chair next to her.

"Hey sweetheart, it's me, Bo. The nurse said this may help and right now baby I would do anything. Please wake up. I miss you so much, I understand that I might be the last person you ever want to see again, but please wake up and tell me that. Scream, shout, hit me, but please wake up darling." Bo swept loose hair from Lauren's face and kissed her gently on her lips.

Tears fell from Bo's face; she knew that she did not deserve Lauren's forgiveness for leaving and because she thought that Lauren would hold her responsible for the death of her father. She had found out from Kenzi that he had died at the airport.

Bo switched on the device and muted the music, the photos started up immediately, pictures perfectly put in the order of when they were taken. She changed the settings from auto to manual to make each picture stay on longer as she set about talking about each one. Some making her laugh out loud into the empty room, others simply made her cry at the realisation that the only person she has ever truly loved was lying in front of her in a coma.

Somehow in those few precious moments, Bo fell asleep, curled at the foot of Lauren's bed, holding the digital photo frame close to her chest, unaware that this night would be different.

Tamsin walked the corridor as she had many times, however this time she had a purpose. In and amongst Bo's diary ramblings she had written about the view of the desert, a view that Tamsin knew well. The same view she starred at, the one from Lauren's room. Many things were going around in her head, hate Bo, forgive Bo, understand Bo as she exhaled deeply and entered the room. All decisions were made when she saw her lying at the bottom of the bed, her face red and puffy and the digital photo frame held close to her chest.

Tamsin coughed into the room. Bo stirred but did not wake. She coughed again, louder this time. Bo opened her eyes briefly, closing them again before jumping from the bed and standing in front of Tamsin.

"Shit", was all Bo could mutter into the dark room, illuminated only by the partially opened door behind Tamsin. Bo gathered her clothes quickly moved to the bathroom.

"Bo, we need to talk," Tamsin spoke softly, Bo nodded.

Bo emerged a few minutes later, dressed in her black jeans and still wearing Lauren's 'geek' tee. She walked to the window and pulled the tee over her head, her back toward Tamsin, and proceeded to put on her bodice top and black leather jacket.

"Well go on then, scream at me, hit me, throw me out," Bo stopped speaking and closed her eyes as Tamsin started to walk toward her. "I'm ready for whatever you need to dish out."

Bo was not prepared however for what came next as she felt Tamsin's arms wrap around her and hold her tight. Her resolve failed her as she started to cry, of all the things she expected, that was not one. Moments later Tamsin let her go.

"Are you ok?" Tamsin asked.

"I think so. A bit confused. Why don't you hate me?" Bo asked in reply.

"I think you punished yourself enough." Tamsin held up Bo's journal and Bo took it.

"That was not meant to be read." Bo quietly replied, placing the book inside her jacket pocket.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I only looked through it to find out where you were. We were all worried." Tamsin placed a reassuring hand on Bo's shoulder.

"But you don't know what I have done." Bo lowered her head.

"We do."

Tamsin and Bo both looked up towards the doorway to see Kate standing there.

"Now stop being so selfish. Lauren needs you." Kate walked over to Lauren and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Hello sweetheart, we have found Bo, now please wake up."

Bo did not say anything. She did not expect this. She thought she was hated, blamed even.

"Mrs Lewis,"

Bo was interrupted, "Call me Kate please," she gave a warm smile.

"I just wanted to say that I, I, I..." Bo fidgeted.

Kate walked toward Bo, "Thank you, Bo, we will talk properly about all that happened, but I need time. Right now, my only priority is Lauren."

It was as Lauren could sense that everyone was in the room as she stirred. Not that anyone noticed, they were too busy discussing her. She made out the voices in the room and could hear the conversations as her consciousness woke. She parted her lips slightly, feeling that they were very dry and her speech not working. Her eyes opened and adjusted to the light. Emotions were mixed. Her mother, her lover and her best friend were all in the same room. Her heart physically stung her with pain as she heard her mother talk about her dad's funeral. The pain worsened as she saw the grief in her mother's eyes. The knife turning as she saw Bo, a woman she loved with every fibre of her being, a woman who was leaving her.

She tried again to speak, only managing one word, "Drink".

Kate, Tamsin and Bo spun around to see Lauren looking back at them. In the surprise, they almost ran into each other searching for a drink. Kate opened her oversized bag, knowing that she had a bottle of water in there. Tamsin ran toward the bathroom and searched for some kind of cup. Bo stood frozen to the floor, as Lauren's once before warm eyes stared at her, now cold and dark. Bo's fears were true, Lauren hated her.

"I have it," Kate pulled out her water and helped Lauren with taking small sips.

Tamsin walked back from the bathroom and stood beside her, "No fricking cups in there."

Lauren smiled at her friend, "It's a bathroom babe, not a kitchen." her voice was still hoarse.

"Tamsin, go fetch the doctor, tell them Lauren is awake" Kate called over.

"Wait, Tam," Lauren caught hold of Tamsin's arm, "As soon as you tell them I will be prodded and poked. I just want our time first."

Tamsin nodded and sat down beside her. Lauren sat up and drank more of the water.

"Mum, I am so sorry," tears welled up in her eyes. "I tried everything I could…..."

"Lauren, darling, I know. Your dad knew. We all know. This is not your fault." Kate sat beside her and took hold of her hand.

"Mum, please pass me my chart" Lauren pointed to the end of the bed and Kate obliged. Lauren read over it. "I have been here a week?" she said looking at her mum. Kate nodded. "So when is dad being flown back?"

"In the morning," Kate replied.

"And the funeral?" Lauren asked.

"Day after tomorrow."

Lauren looked at Tamsin, "Tam, you are my oldest friend, I need your help."

"Anything, consider it already done. What is it?" Tamsin asked.

"Get me out of here. The doctor won't sign the discharge papers until they return in the morning. They will say I need forty-eight-hour observation. Tell them I am signing an AMA form, against medical advice, and it's my solitary wish to be discharged. Don't take no for an answer."

Tamsin replied, "Are you sure you're good to go?"

Lauren scanned her medical chart again, "Yeah, I'm sure. The neurologist report is normal, so is my blood work. I'm fit to fly."

"Then pack your bags, Lewis, you will be out of here by eight-o-five."

Lauren smiled. The room fell silent. Lauren looked over to Bo. Bo stepped forward and held onto the bottom of the bed.

"Bo" Lauren said. "I want you to leave. Thank you for staying to see if I was ok, but as you can see, I am. So, please, go to wherever you were flying back to."

"Lauren, I don't want to leave. I know I have hurt you but please hear me out." Bo begged, stepping forward but finding her path blocked either side by Kate and Tamsin.

"Hurt me? You were leaving me. And what is more painful is that I was not even worth an explanation." Lauren closed her eyes as she knew her resolve would falter if she continued to look at Bo.

"I did explain, I wrote it all down. I was a coward Lauren but I thought I was doing the right thing. I was wrong, please let me explain now."

"If it was right before, it's right still now, nothing has changed Bo. Please go." Lauren stared at her, she was serious. She needed Bo to leave now, as being with her was breaking her heart.

Bo looked at the others, their heads were hung low. Bo walked toward the door, she looked back over to Lauren. "I'm sorry, for everything", she left and closed the door behind her.

Tamsin was the first to speak, "I have that letter, Kenzi gave it to me. Do you want it?" Tamsin pulled a white envelope from her pocket and held it out in front of her.

"No." Lauren's voice was breaking.

"Well I sure do," Kate took the letter before anyone could object and tore it open. Falling onto the bed was the necklace, a cheque from Adam, and a handwritten note.

Kate took the cheque and folded it into her purse. "Lauren, I did not know but your dad paid her to go. He told her it was for the best. She must have believed him."

Lauren gasped, unable to fully comprehend what her mother was telling her. Conflicted between the love of her father and what he had done to Bo. "I remember, dad told me."

Kate held onto her hand. "He wanted to see you happy, it was wrong of him, he knew that and he went to do the right thing. He would be proud of her, returning the money; she really does love you, sweetheart."

"She does?" Lauren asked.

Kate and Tamsin nodded.

"And it wasn't for the jewellery," Tamsin handed the necklace to Lauren, "So why did she leave?"

"Let's find out," Kate opened the envelope, but did not get a chance to read the letter as Lauren quickly took it from her hands.

Lauren opened it, one page long, and began to read.

Dear Lauren,

This is the hardest thing I have ever done, walking away when I love you so much.

You see, I found you at the wrong time. I have a past that I can't hide from, and I can't expect you to take on.

The only great thing that comes from my past is that it led me to you.

As actions are louder than words, I am showing you that I love you by doing what is best for you, leaving and giving you back your life.

I will miss you every day,

Forever Yours, Bo x

Lauren finished the letter and passed it to Tamsin who read it out loud. Hearing the words again from Tamsin brought tears to all in the room. She looked to her mum for some words of wisdom, but the room remained silent.

Tamsin placed the letter back in the envelope and broke the silence. "So, she left 'cause she thought it was for the best?" Tamsin spoke into the room.

"And you just told her that the reason was still there, nothing had changed," Kate responded.

"She will still feel worthless and I won't be surprised if she has actually left for good this time," Tamsin answered.

"What have I done? I need to talk to her. Tell her it's all ok. That I will stand by her, that I have always loved her and I always will." Lauren tried to get up and it took Tamsin to hold her down.

"Lauren, stay still." Kate was firm with her daughter, "I will find her."