A/N: Thank you to everyone who is continuing to support this story! I truly appreciate the reviews, favorites, and follows. Thank you also to the wonderful BK2U, who is kindly beta reading this story for me!
To answer the concerns that many of you expressed about Tris having herpes, you might find it interesting to do a little reading on the subject, since it's quite different from what people tend to think at first. 90% of the population has HSV 1, which is usually just associated with cold sores; it's so common that it's not considered to be a sexually transmitted disease, though it can in fact be transmitted down there through oral sex. 25% of women and 10-20% of men have HSV 2, but the kicker is that a whopping 85% percent of those don't know they have it because they either have no symptoms or have atypical symptoms. So, Tris is literally in the same boat as one out of every four of you reading this. Tobias, in turn, has probably already been exposed to it at least once, and he undoubtedly would be again if he continued to date other women, so please don't feel too bad for either of them. It's just a fact of life at their age.
Anyway, I'm not going to dwell a lot on the virus - I just wanted to bring a dose of reality into the fic with it, since it is so common and so frequently ignored. :-)
Chapter 5: Tobias – Will Power
Tobias never used to mind Friday afternoons. Half of the office leaves early, so there are rarely meetings, making it a good time to catch up on work that requires concentrated attention. But over the last few weeks, he has found it increasingly difficult to stay focused in those final hours of the workweek. All he can think about is that he'll get to see Tris again soon.
Sighing, he lets his eyes drift from the program that he's supposed to be analyzing to the photo of Tris that is tacked above his monitor. It's the first personal adornment he's ever added to his workspace, and it garnered more than a few comments from his coworkers as a result. He doesn't let it bother him, though – being able to look at her whenever he wants is more than worth any ribbing.
His gaze lingers on the image for a while as he thinks about how tonight will go. He'll be eating at Tris' apartment, with her and Christina – and Christina's new boyfriend. It will be the first time he's seen Tris' best friend since he left for college, and he's sure that she will have plenty to say to him. None of it is likely to be good, but he can't find it in himself to object. Not while part of him thoroughly agrees with her.
It's strange, really, to simultaneously hold two completely different views of an event in his mind. He still remembers his thought process when he wrote that letter a decade ago. Back then, he was utterly convinced that he was doing the right thing – being selfless and causing Tris the least amount of pain out of the extremely limited choices he had.
That was his viewpoint for years, and he reiterated it to himself every time his will weakened and he came close to picking up the phone and begging for another chance. He was always able to shut that thought down by telling himself to be strong for Tris, and to do what was best for her. It was a harsh blow to see how wrong he was.
He shakes his head, trying to force his attention back to the program displayed on his monitor. It doesn't help that it's badly written – a frustration that he's had with Greg all too often since they hired him. He knows that there's always a learning curve with new developers, but this is getting ridiculous….
His focus is drawn away yet again when his phone chimes, and Tris' image displays on it. It's amazing how much that sight lifts his spirits. "Are we still on for tonight?" her text asks.
"Absolutely," he types back, smiling at her photo. But then he adds, "Should I wear full body armor?"
The response arrives quickly. "I think an athletic cup should be enough."
"Ouch," he answers, not sure whether to laugh or not. He's certainly not afraid of Christina, but it's yet another reminder that she hates what he did to her best friend. "You're really making me look forward to this."
"She's in a foul mood, too. Just broke up with Darrien."
"Great…." That'll make things even better….
"Actually, do you have anyone you could bring? That might help."
He mulls that for a moment, agreeing with the general desire to deflect Christina's wrath, but not particularly wanting any of his coworkers to hear what she might yell at him.
It would have to be someone he trusts, preferably someone who might truly get along with both Tris and Christina. But not someone who would attract the woman he's trying to win back.
"I could bring my boss, Amar," he offers. "He's a calming influence."
There's a pause before Tris answers. "Um, isn't he married? And gay, for that matter?"
"Well, you didn't specify you were looking for a DATE."
He swears the image on his phone rolls her eyes. "Fine. Could you please bring a date for my best friend so she doesn't rip off certain body parts before I have a chance to see them again?"
He smirks at the request. They've been rebuilding their relationship very slowly, since Tris is still struggling to trust him, so it's nice to hear that she wants to see those parts again at some point.
"Since you asked nicely…" he texts before pushing his chair back from his desk as he makes up his mind.
"Hey, Will," he calls over the cubicle wall, "what are you doing tonight?"
Tobias is pleasantly surprised by how well his friend integrates himself into their small group. He and Christina seem to have instant chemistry, joking back and forth easily in a way that nicely defuses the tension.
"Why exactly do you call him Four?" Christina asks as they settle down at the small table to eat dinner.
Will cocks his head, thinking about that. "I have no idea," he admits. Turning to his coworker, he adds, "How did you get that nickname?"
For a few seconds, Tobias levels his best intimidating stare at Will, not sure that he likes the direction of this conversation. It could easily lead to all the reasons he avoids his father, not just the name that Marcus gave him.
"Amar picked it my freshman year in college," he finally answers stiffly, "when I interviewed with him for a part-time job." He lifts a shoulder. "I only got four questions wrong on the company's aptitude test, and he was hiring for a four-hour-a-day position. I guess he liked the repetition of the number."
Will's eyebrows rise sharply in recognition of how unusual that score is. But if he knows that it set – and still holds – the company's record, he doesn't mention it. And Tobias, in turn, doesn't say that he accepted the nickname because it helped him cut all ties to his past.
Christina, however, frowns. "I thought you were working a lot of hours? Four a day isn't a lot." Her tone is challenging, and she glances at Tris as if questioning what her friend told her about why Tobias ended things.
"That was my second job," he explains coldly. "I was already working tech support on campus, too."
There's a pause as Christina considers that, but she finally nods, looking mollified, at least for now. It's obvious to all of them that it will be a very long time before she's willing to consider actually liking Tobias again.
Will's voice breaks the tension. "I always thought it was a strange nickname, but all things considered, it doesn't seem so bad now." His lips quirk as he looks at Christina. "I mean, wouldn't you want to change your name if you were called Tobias?"
She laughs at that, reaching out to smack Will playfully the way she's been doing all night. Tobias is grateful for the distraction, letting himself relax as the two move on to other topics. He doesn't listen, though, his gaze instead catching on Tris. She's watching him with a small, thoughtful smile on her face, and he returns it, mesmerized by her as he so often is.
Leaning close, she brushes a kiss to his cheek, whispering, "I happen to like your name." He can't help the big, foolish grin that forms in response, because in that moment, he rather likes it, too.
"So, Will," Christina says loudly from across the table, clearly uncomfortable with their intimate moment, "what is Four like at work?"
"Um," the younger man starts, glancing at his coworker as if he's not sure how safe it is to joke about the company's record-holder, "well, he's pretty no-nonsense. He's great at his job, and he gets lots of work done." He nods a little. "And he's got high standards, so he's…you know…tough to please. But he's a good guy."
Christina furrows her brow, levelling her gaze at Tobias. "Oh," she says, deadpan. "I thought maybe he was a giant dick or something." Tobias just meets her stare, not bothering to retort. He still can't blame her for hating him, not when she had to deal with the aftermath of his decision for a decade.
Will's response surprises him. "A word of advice, Christina." She looks at him uncertainly, and he continues matter-of-factly. "If you want to insult a guy, you should really leave the giant part out of it. Guys tend to think that giant dicks are a good thing." He waggles his eyebrows as he expands his hands suggestively, the corners of his mouth lifting.
For a second, the entire room is silent, and Tobias can't believe that his friend just went there, but then Christina bursts into laughter. "Oh, God, that is so true…." She hits Will's arm again. "And you know they really all have itty bitty little dicks." She holds her fingers up with a half-inch between them. "If there's any justice in this universe."
Will nods solemnly. "That's why you should always date nice guys. We have the power of karma behind us."
Christina gives a snort of amusement before turning to her best friend. But whatever she was about to say dies in her throat at the sheer level of red flushing up Tris' cheeks. And at the smirk that Tobias is trying unsuccessfully to hide.
"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me…" she mutters, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them. "You're not seriously saying that he's…." She points at Tobias, raising her eyebrows as she makes the same expansive gesture that Will did.
Tobias didn't think it was possible for Tris to get any redder, but somehow she does, biting her lip as she stares at her lap in embarrassment.
Christina shakes her head. "At least tell me that Uriah is bigger." It's a strange statement, and Tobias wonders briefly if the two of them dated at some point or if she's just mentioning him because he's a nice guy…who frequently brags about his endowment. Either way, he can't say that he likes the reminder of Tris and Uriah being together – or the request that she compare them.
Apparently, Tris doesn't, either. "We are not talking about this," she insists, so scarlet now she could probably start a fire. "I mean, really, what are we – guys?"
"Yes," Will answers promptly. Gesturing between himself and Tobias, he adds, "Well, half of us, anyway."
Christina bites her lip hard to contain her amusement, but Tobias growls back, "Leave me out of this."
Tris' gaze shoots to his for a second, and she seems to draw courage from him. "Fine," she states succinctly, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at her best friend. "Uriah has reason to brag." Tobias feels something inside him sink. "But not as much reason as some."
It takes a split second for the meaning to sink in, and then Tobias is smirking widely while Will makes some kind of triumphant sound, as if his favorite team just won a game. Christina, on the other hand, shakes her head, muttering something about there being no justice in the world. She's grinning, though, clearly in a much better mood than she was at the beginning of the evening.
It was, Tobias realizes, definitely a good idea to bring Will.
"I'm sorry she's being so hard on you," Tris murmurs as they steal a quiet moment together in the hallway. Christina and Will don't seem to have noticed their absence, judging by the animated conversation coming from the living room. "I couldn't really explain why you left without getting into…." She bites her lip, looking worried. "…How Marcus treated you. And I wasn't sure if it was okay to do that. So, I gave her a half-reason instead."
Tobias frowns as he considers that, understanding Christina's attitude even better now. She's always been good at spotting lies and partial truths, so there's no way she would believe his explanation without the full story.
"Yeah," he mutters, scratching uncomfortably at the back of his neck. "That always makes it harder, doesn't it?" He sighs heavily as he thinks about all the times he had to take the blame for something in order to protect the asshole who sired him. All the times he said he was clumsy, or sick, or had done something wrong when he hadn't.
"You know what," he snarls, finally fed up with it all. "I'm done sheltering that bastard. Do whatever's easiest – if you want to tell someone, go ahead. I don't care." He meets her gaze, knowing that his own expression is defensive at best. "I just…don't want to be there when you do it, okay?"
She watches him for a few long moments before nodding slowly. "Including my parents?" she asks quietly.
It's like hitting a brick wall as he remembers that their fathers work together. "He'll never believe it," he responds automatically. They're the words that Marcus drilled into him over and over throughout his childhood. No one will believe you. Saying anything will just make it worse.
Tris lays a reassuring hand on his arm. "I don't know if he will or not, but he might. And it will have to come up sooner or later if we…." Her voice trails off, and he knows that she doesn't want to think that far into the future yet. But she's right. There's only so far they can go in rebuilding their relationship before he'll need to be around her family again. She's close to them, after all. And if they don't understand why he left, they will hate him even more than Christina does.
He drags his hands down his face as his mind scrambles for alternatives, but none present themselves. "Okay," he finally says, his voice strained. "You can…tell them, too." He swallows hard. "Or I will, when we get there."
His tortured gaze meets her sad one for a few more seconds before she reaches up, her fingers tangling in his short hair and pulling him down so he can rest his forehead on hers. They used to stand this way so often, drawing comfort from each other and enjoying one another's presence, and he finds his heart beating faster at the familiar closeness.
Between that and the emotional vulnerability coursing through him right now, certain words clog his throat on their way to being spoken. He bites them back sharply, knowing that Tris is nowhere near ready to hear them yet. Besides, he can't be sure at this point how much of what he's feeling is old instinct – leftover emotion still clinging in his heart because he never fully got over her – and how much is because of who they are now, and what they're like together at this age.
He can't say those words until that distinction is clear.
So, instead he runs his fingers lightly through her hair as he breathes her scent and feels her warmth. It's all incredibly soothing.
Both of their lips curl upwards when loud laughter carries to them from the living room. "You should be a matchmaker," Tris whispers, sounding vaguely awed. "Will is absolutely perfect for her."
Tobias can only shake his head bemusedly, his forehead never leaving hers. "It was total luck."
He feels Tris smile. "Or maybe a little nice guy karma."
A low chuckle emanates from his throat, and he leans closer, his breath hot on Tris' left ear as his lips find the sweet spot behind it. "Can't say that I'm particularly nice," he murmurs, "but I'll take the luck anyway."
For another few seconds, Tris is silent, but then she pulls back slightly, her hands framing his face while she gazes at him steadily. "You're a lot nicer than you give yourself credit for, Tobias." She brushes her thumb over his lips. "And a lot more deserving."
The words send a shoot of warmth through him, and his hands find her hips as he pulls her close, letting his lips meet hers the way he's been wanting to do all evening. The kiss is long and tender, yet filled with an intensity that he's come to realize is unique to them. It tugs at him, trying to pull that phrase out again.
And in that moment, part of him accepts the truth. Whether it's new or old, and whether or not she wants to hear it, what he feels is real. It's the only thing he's ever been truly certain of in his life, and it's not going to go away.
He can only hope that someday she'll feel it, too.
A/N: Don't be too hard on Christina. She spent ten years trying to build Tris back up after Tobias left, so she's pretty pissed at him. She'll warm up eventually. :-) In the meantime, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Reviews always make my day!