This is the second chapter posted today! Don't miss the first one just before this.- Wild
Fate Decided
Nyah speaks first, feeling the need to explain the intrusion apparently. "You forgot to call Henry's security detail last night and give them coordinates of his location." She gulps. My heart starts pounding in realization.
"In other words," Casey chimes in quietly, "It set off a shit storm."
"They notified Henry's grandparents when they hadn't heard from you after two hours." Nyah continues. She's chewed her nails down so far in her nervousness they're bleeding. "They'd reported he left with us willingly but hadn't made contact since. I was rounding up the photos taken when I got a call from Ulric." She gulps with wide eyes and I feel my heart drop into my stomach. "Henry's grandfather Louis had called him demanding to know where and why we'd hauled Henry out of the club. Of course, Ulric had no idea about any of this. So he demanded to know from me what we were doing and where Henry was. He wanted to speak with you but your phone was off so he called mine. He demanded I put you on the phone since it'd been reported we both left with Henry, he assumed we were still together. Obviously you weren't with me so I told him I couldn't and he asked where you were. I told him you went off alone with Henry and I didn't know where. I panicked. I didn't want to tell them you were here or they'd storm down your door. I told him you'd dropped me off after leaving the club and I hadn't seen you since. Then he just hung up."
"And called me." Casey chimes in. "Demanding to know what was going on. He'd seen the flight manifest changed yesterday from Stockholm to Marie's instead and then London with two additional passengers. You and Nyah."
"What did you tell him?" I ask when she stops talking and I feel my mouth go completely dry.
"That there was a situation I was handling and that we'd planned to speak with him about it later today." She relays and my heart starts to pound furiously at the role she's just taken in this with Ulric, putting herself in harms way for me by admitting to him she knew of this situation yesterday. Ulric has no idea what that situation is currently but once he does, he'll be furious with her for not only not telling him immediately but that she apparently flew me to Marie's first and then to London where it's been reported that I apparently kidnapped Henry, and Casey allowed all of this to happen. "I assured him that Henry was in a safe location with you and that he'd make contact with his family and detail as soon as possible, if not arrive home safely first." Her eyes drift over my shoulder to where Henry is still sleeping in my bed with his back facing us.
"And then she called me." Nyah starts rambling again. "She wanted me to put you on the line."
"Only you weren't available. Because you two, weren't actually together." Casey speaks slowly and measured with an even tone. She is ridiculously calm about all of this and it's freaking me out her none reaction to the shit storm as she called it. I know its because she's bottled up her own feelings to retain some sense of control over this situation that seems to be spiraling out of control the more we try to control it.
"It wasn't Nyah's fault." I immediately jump to defend my friend. "I sent her away."
"She told me." Casey answers and clicks the heel on her foot. I know that signal as well. She's highly annoyed.
"I told her what happened and how Henry just drug you forcefully out of the club making a huge scene," Nyah chimes in trying to explain my reasoning, both of us trying to cover for the other. "And how I was out collecting all the photos and video memory cards and that I'd left you here, with Henry so you could talk about the baby and figure out what you want to do." She swallows hard looking at my disheveled appearance and focuses in on the baby belly beneath my hand. It's currently covered by Henry's dress shirt that matches the one he's wearing in the photos laying on the table before us. "Did you figure it out? What you're going to do?" She asks hopefully
"I'm going to marry her." Henry's voice suddenly announces from behind us loudly. When I turn my head to look behind me, he's still facing away from us, lying on his side but rolling over to face us. Clearly he's heard our conversation or at least the last part of it enough to answer Nyah's question. Slowly he sits up and pulls the sheet up higher to cover himself swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He rubs his eyes and then stands, tying the sheet around his waist haphazardly, holding it bunched with one hand and walks towards us. He stops beside me and drops a long and lingering kiss to my lips, not caring at all they're there. He palms the side of my head with his free hand and smiles looking only at me; our faces still inches apart. "I'm going to marry her." He repeats. "That's the plan." He turns his tired smile to Nyah and then Casey. He nods at her in recognition,
"General," and then heads for the bathroom.
Nyah looks like a deer in headlights. Her eyes are permanently fixed in the wide and startled position. She can't believe that answer or his reaction, kissing me right in front of Casey without a care in the world. Casey hasn't moved at all and when I turn my gaze towards her, she simply stares at me. I'm certain she doesn't think that's an acceptable answer to this problem. She's a realist and knows that the probability of Henry and I actually being allowed to get married is less than zero. We wait in silence for Henry to return and when he steps out of the bathroom, heads straight to where he threw his jeans onto the floor last night. He turns his back to us but isn't shy about dropping the sheet to step into his jeans. His naked backside exposed for all to see before its hidden beneath his jeans. Fresh claw marks scrape across his back from our reunion and are quite visible. He turns around, throwing the sheet back onto my bed and walks towards us again shirtless. He sits on the armrest of my chair and stares down Casey, almost challenging her to say something about his display of affection towards me. She is a Council General and technically, right now, she has say even over him as an heir.
"And when they refuse that plan?" Casey asks us both quietly. Not bothering to mince words. She just doesn't accept that as an answer at all.
Henry reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing the backs of my fingers before holding it in his lap, playing with my fingers and I know he's nervous. "If that happens, then I'll still claim my child." He looks at her intensely. "I love Julia, General. I've loved her since the moment I first saw her smile from across the room. I fully intend to fight for the right to be with her and to keep our child. To have a real life with her."
Casey slowly drops the finger she's been using to trace her lips on and off this whole time and grips the edge of the armrest stretched out in front of her instead. Her blue eyes hold steadfast as she stares at him and then shifts to me, my belly and back to Henry again. "I'm going to be completely honest with the both of you." She begins in calm and commanding tone, "While you may be able to convince your family to let you marry Julia, Ulric will never let her go. She is the epitome of his life's work," Her eyes flash to mine and hold fast. She's bringing up the same thing I've heard in the past from her and haven't heard in a long time. "And he won't simply hand over a project he's spent a lifetime creating and molding. She's far too valuable to him."
"I don't understand why I'm so valuable." I shake my head feeling frustrated at hearing this again. "I'm just like everyone else. I get the same field assignments and orders, so how does that make me any different than you, or Nyah, or any other EHW? Please explain."
"I can't." She answers without missing a beat. "I would if I could but I can't. I know you don't understand or see it now, but you are the exception, Julia. Your purpose and value to The Council far exceeds any of us." Hearing her say that I'm more valuable than her as the General or even any First Gen scares the life out of me given they're the Gods. The ones the Heads of the Divisions rely upon so heavily to keep their world wheel of governance running smoothly.
"If I'm the exception, maybe he will let me marry Henry?" I counter feeling a surge of hope that maybe this exception thing might work in my favor.
"No." She kills the hope immediately. "This is the one exception that he will never make for you, Julia." She shakes her head softly and takes a deep breath. "He may let you have relationships from time to time and let them slip under the radar but he will never let you marry anyone and especially not the very public Crown Prince and Heir of another division. The Council would see that as far too dangerous given your creation intentions, abilities and training."
"Casey, please." I beg her with tears in my eyes I can't hold back anymore, feeling hope for a happy ending slipping further and further away. "Tell me. Why am I so different? You have to at least give me some explanation about why they created me and why I'm never going to be allowed to have any kind of real life."
I can see her struggle with my request. She can't stand tears and coupled with my plea and where she's looking at my hand on my baby belly, I know I've struck a nerve inside the concrete shell she's put up to try and keep me at a distance for this conversation.
"It's the one thing I can't tell you, Julia. I'm sorry." She apologizes shaking her head. "I've always told you what you need to know and when you need to know it, in order to protect you. This is the same. I cannot tell you right now. In order for me to keep you safe, I cannot tell you."
I know how she feels about protecting Alexei and yet, she was willing even, in an extremely dangerous situation, to disclose the fact she had a child to me. But she's unwilling to reveal the mystery surrounding my creation and purpose. It's terrifying to hear Casey tell me this is the one thing she can't tell me. "And how am I supposed to keep my daughter safe if I don't even know the truth about why I exist? Or what their intentions are for me that I need to shield her from?" I cry quietly, palming my belly and feeling the baby move beneath my hand. She's spinning wildly now feeling the emotions running through me.
"You can't." She says quietly. "The best way for you to keep her safe from what they have intended for you, is to let her go, Julia." Her voice tapers off at the end choking on her own words.
"You cannot be serious." Henry fumes at her, "That's really rich coming from you of all people. Must be nice to be the General and tell other people the best way to protect their child is to give them up, when you can go home and kiss yours goodnight every night. Watch him grow up and actually be his mother and not just watch from the shadows."
"Henry," I squeeze his hand pulling him back over the line. He doesn't know Casey like I do or the situation and what happened to her and Alexei. What her life has been like now that she's back to work fulltime since January. Ulric has really been overworking her now, almost as if he's punishing her for having to take time off to recover after his plans nearly killed her. Casey's lucky to see Alexei one weekend a month and often takes 12 hour flights or longer just to spend an hour or two with her child and then makes the same return flight just to insure she sees him at least once a week right now. Alexei spends the majority of his time with Freya and Bjorn. I know she'd love to be able to kiss her child goodnight every night as she was able to last year during her recovery, but that's not the reality anymore. She wouldn't be saying these things to me unless they were the only things left to say. Casey knows how badly it hurts to have your child ripped away from and given to someone else. "She wouldn't be saying these things if there was another way." I add quietly and my eyes meet with hers in understanding. She nods so subtly it's barely noticeable. I know she's struggling terribly to conceal her emotions right now after what he's just said and what she's said to me.
"You can ask to marry her." She finally speaks after a moment of tense silence. "But you need to have a plan in place when they say no." To her credit she doesn't react and lash out at him for what he's said. I'm sure she's well aware of what a highly emotional situation this is, trying to figure out the future of your baby that's being stripped away. She and Ares went through the same thing.
"I already told you. If that happens, then I'll still claim my child." Henry repeats in a measured tone full of held back emotions, not at all happy with what she's said or revealed about my life and what that means for us and a future together.
"And then what?" Casey pushes us into seeing the light. "You claim her and then what? Unless you claim her to the world as your illegitimate daughter, you won't be able to raise her either. You cannot raise her in secret. Your life is far too public and under scrutiny, Henry. At some point, someone will see something and you can't hide her away forever to avoid that. So claiming her to The Council only, provides protection at least and a say in her life. But that also means you'll have to place her with a family that will raise her as their own. However you dictate, if that be the case. But ultimately, they will be raising her. Not you and not Julia. She will be their child and you will both have to let go and watch from the shadows."
"So there really aren't any options." I inhale a shaking breath trying to control my breathing. "That's the only option. That he claims her and we give her up to a family to raise as their own."
Casey nods once. "Henry might be able to claim her as his illegitimate child years in the future after he's married and produced a suitable heir and spare." Henry shifts uncomfortably beside me at that thought. "The public would be more accepting of her after that and him, looking back at youth in retrospect and having all been 21 themselves at one time." She offers quietly. I know she knows this is more than just simple young love but no one else is going to see it that way or as anything but a fling of passion. "But you'd really have to think about what a harsh reality that would be for her to be thrown into suddenly and it may not be in her best interests." She adds quietly.
This is another one of those things I know she's speaking about from personal experience. In being Ulric's biological child, living in his world, as a part of his life, yet unclaimed.
"I know this isn't what either of you wanted to hear. But I'm trying to help you make the best possible decision to keep this child safe and out of harms way." Casey looks at me and for the first time I see her walls slip down on purpose allowing me to see that she's honestly very upset about all this and trying to help find a solution.
"Thank you." I acknowledge her and the effort. She's being brutally honest with me and us because she does love me and that's exactly what I need her to do and be as my sister and General.
"I apologize for my outburst, Cassiopeia. I am grateful for your advice and help with this matter and especially in looking out for Julia's wellbeing." Henry addresses her informally to make it personal after hearing my quiet thanks in acknowledgement that she is trying to help us. "I feel my world is imploding before my eyes. Less than 12 hours ago I came face to face with the woman I love and thought I lost," he squeezes my hand and brings it close to his heart with tear filled eyes, "learned I was going to be a father and after working through that panic, have managed to fall instantly in love with our child you're now telling me we'll never be able to raise or keep, no matter what we do, and that I'll never be able to marry her mother either. I am not sure how I'm supposed to react anymore." A tear rolls down his cheek as he looks down at me and I feel more rolling from my eyes as well. I lift my hand to his cheek and use my thumb to gently brush his tears away, holding his intense gaze feeling the same hurricane of emotions rolling through me. He leans forward and kisses me again, his hands holding onto my neck as we both cry and then pulls me into a hug, both feeling the need to be held. We pull back a long moment later and see that Nyah is also in tears watching us. They're rolling in big fat waves down her cheeks and dripping unchecked from her chin.
Casey looks like she's stopped breathing and is as rigid as a stone but I know that's her way of dealing with emotional situations she can't handle. She shuts down and this one is hitting close to home on too many levels.
"So how do we proceed?" I ask refusing to let go of Henry's hand. "What is the next step?" I ask her to guide us through this process.
"Henry needs to check in with his detail and family immediately." She addresses him quietly, "He also needs to request an immediate private meeting with his grandmother upon his arrival home to reveal all of this to her and try to persuade them to either A) allow him to marry you," Her eyes flash to me, "Or B) claim the child anyway." She takes a deep breath, "Meanwhile, you and I will be meeting with Ulric at his London office today at Noon to reveal all of this as well and make preparations for plan C)." She says quietly.
"And what is plan C?" Henry asks quietly with a voice thick with emotion.
"Persuade him to not to terminate the pregnancy now but let the child be born." She says clearly uncomfortable with the notion given how far along I am. "And then plead the case that once this child comes of age and becomes a part of The Program at age seven that you, Julia, is allowed to raise and train her much the same way Artemis negotiated with Gillian."
I nod, wiping another new tear that rolls silently down my stinging cheek at this reality.
"So my child would end up a slave to The Council, just property with no rights or say in her future at all. She'll never be able to get married or have children, just like Julia." Henry states the hard truths out loud he's just realizing the significance of for the first time when it comes in relation to his own child. The vast differences in our sides of life on The Council are becoming clearer to him all the time.
"Yes." Casey answers his rhetorical questions bringing home the point of our reality. "But she will be alive." She adds quietly addressing Henry, "And eventually have her mother in her life again while she's still a child."
"If Julia has the chance to get her back at the age of seven and raise her, be a part of her life, why aren't we trying for that option? Have that be our plan B?" Henry asks with narrowed brows about why we're not going with the plan that gives my child back to me eventually.
"Because I'd rather give her up, Henry, and have no contact than willingly subject her to The Program." I answer quietly, "I want more for her than what I am. I want her to be free from all of this if she has the chance. Free to fall in love and marry anyone she wants to, have children that don't get taken away, and be and do anything she wants in life that makes her happy. All the things that are forbidden from me and everyone else in The Program." I squeeze his hand, "Don't you want that for her too? Even if it means we can't be a part of her life."
He looks deeply into my eyes and then to my belly and nods softly. I know he gets it as the Crown Prince where his life might be surrounding by lavish luxury but his fate is just as tightly controlled as mine. Real love is letting her go, just as Casey said. We have to love her enough, to let her go. No matter how much it pains us, it's the best thing for our child given our situation.
"Julia, we really need to get going." Casey speaks quietly, "And Henry, you need to go as well if we're going to have enough time to discuss this with everyone yet today. Nyah will escort you home since you do not have security to follow you."
"I can get home fine by myself." He dismisses the notion of a babysitter.
"It's not up for debate." Her tone means business. "I gave my word that you'd arrive home safely and I intend to keep that word. Nyah will take you home. You need to go now. Though you'd better put some more clothes on." She nods purposefully towards his bare chest.
I'm wearing the shirt he arrived in and it's missing most of its buttons. "I'll get you one." I unfold myself from the chair and make my way towards my dresser on the other side of the room. Inside I keep one of Henry's shirts he left behind on my floor in Brazil after our last time making love. He hadn't even realized he left it, but I kept it. Secretly sleeping in it whenever I missed him and needed to feel him near. I guess it won't be a secret anymore.
"Here." I hand him the dark blue dress shirt. The last time he wore it, it was perfectly pressed and brand new. Now it was clearly faded and well worn, indication of how much I'd been wearing and washing it. I never bothered ironing it, only ever wearing it as pajamas. I know he recognizes it taking it from my hands.
"I thought I lost this." He smiles holding it in his hands.
"I might have borrowed it. And worn it a few times." I smile back sadly, letting him know again, exactly how much he meant to me then, and how much I missed him in the last six months. "Sorry it's a bit faded and wrinkled from sleeping in it." I smooth my hand over the edge of the collar that's curling up slightly. Casey and Nyah are baring witness to the entire exchange but we don't care. Right now, we're alone in this room.
"I'll give it back to you." He smiles slipping into shirt. "You can keep that one, too." He nods towards the one I'm wearing. "More good memories."
"Yes." I answer in barely above a whisper thinking about how magical last night was. Confessing our love to each other and making love, sharing in the joy of the baby we created in that love together, if for only one night.
"I will see you later." He says with confidence finishing his buttons standing before me with his intense but beautiful brown eyes. Nyah stands and waits by the door for him.
"I'll see you later." I repeat quietly. He leans down and cups my face gently, kissing my lips and letting it linger. He rests his forehead with mine, stroking my cheek with his thumb, just relishing the contact one last time before he goes and then pulls back. He nods at Casey, "General," walking towards the door and Nyah then stops and turns around. "I love you, Julia Taylor. No matter what happens today. That will never change. You're the love of my life. I knew it the moment I met you. You're it for me. The only one I want." He smiles and nods at Nyah who opens the door. He waits for her to exit first and then follows behind, ever the gentlemen.
When the door closes, I stand there for a long moment just staring at the space he used to be in.
"When's the last time you've eaten something?" Casey asks quietly breaking the silence.
I honestly have to think about it a minute. It was with Nyah in Paris at the café across the street from her apartment. Eating has been the last thing on my mind in the last 24 hours.
"Yesterday morning. Before you arrived." I answer her still staring at the door. God, was that really only 24 hours ago? I think of how much has transpired since then.
"In Paris?" She asks slightly alarmed. "Julia, you have to eat." She scolds me. Considering she was starved and it literally took her months to learn how to eat again without her body rejecting it, I know what a touchy subject this is for her now. She panics whenever she thinks we've gone too long without eating.
"I know." I sigh and turn to face her, "I just forgot."
"Well, you can't forget or you'll end up passing out. You can't run your body like you're used to when you're pregnant. That means no skipping meals." She stands and heads for the kitchen. "I'll make you something to eat while you shower and change."
"I don't have anything for you to make." I inform her, "I haven't been at this house in weeks. The fridge is empty."
"Then I'll go to the bakery around the corner and get you something. Get in the shower, Julia." She barks at me in the tone I'm used to in order to get me moving. It has the intended effect, I move instantly into the bathroom hearing the commanding tone of the General.
Slowly, I take off Henry's shirt and pull it to my nose, inhaling his scent and close my eyes. Tears start pooling in my eyes and I set it carefully on the counter. Looking at my naked pregnant body in the mirror. It's changing so quickly. I can still easily make out my upper abs and those oblique's on the side but the entire middle section is now smooth and very round, growing daily. When I place my hands over the skin I can feel her moving around. She rarely sits still. Always so active.
"We're going to have a big day, you and me." I whisper to her thinking about our fates being decided in the next 12 hours. "I promise, I'll do right by you. Whatever that is." I feel the tears slip down my cheeks and step into the shower. The water doesn't take long at all to get warm and I go through the motions of washing my hair and body. By the time I'm finish, I'm sobbing. So many emotions are running through me coupled with the memories of last night and all the memories I have with Henry. I'm overwhelmed. I end up sitting on the tiled floor, pulling my knees up and curling my upper body over and around my belly and our baby inside. Wishing I could keep her here. Safe inside and always with me. I let the warm water wash over us with my head buried in my arms and knees and just cry.
I'm not sure how long I've been here when I feel the cold water turn off and then a towel draping around my shoulders. I stopped crying a while ago, having compartmentalized it all so well that I have shutdown completely. I don't feel anything at all. When I look up through red, swollen eyes, Casey is lifting me upright by the upper arms. She doesn't say anything, just wraps the towel around me and leads me out of the shower. I don't move when she leaves me standing on the rug to get another towel from the shelf. She stands in front of me and uses the new towel to gently dry my hair without saying anything. When I'm dry, she guides me to the edge of my tub.
"Sit." She commands softly and I do as she says. The trained puppy response as Ares would say. "Drink." She hands me the glass of orange juice that she's brought and had sitting on the counter.
I do as I'm told on pure instinct running on her commands. It only takes her a second to locate my hairbrush and sets to work on my wild mane of long tangled hair. I sat so long in the shower the water washed all the conditioner away. But she's being very gentle and I'm too tired to argue that I can do it myself. I'm just going to let her take care of me and order me around at will. Saves me from thinking.
For the next 20 minutes I do everything she says when she says it. "Stand." "Sit." "Eat." "Stand." "Walk." "Sit." "Stand." "Sit." Her commands are basic but effective and all I can handle right now. I am feeling better after eating and having the glass of juice and slowly starts coming around with the new rush of sugar. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed and Casey's kneeling precariously down in front of me wearing a black pencil skirt and heels that doesn't make kneeling easy, slipping high-heeled sandals onto my own feet. She's blown my hair out, fed me, put my clothes on, and now my shoes.
"Thank you." I manage to speak and it's barely above a whisper.
"You never have to thank me for this." She says just as quietly, repeating the phrase I've said to her more than once when doing something so personal in helping her when she needed it most. I guess she's counting this as one of those times in my life when I need her. I've certainly messed things up. She must be so disappointed in me. Spending the entirety of my life and a majority bulk of hers, protecting me, training me, teaching me, and this is how I repay her: by getting pregnant, breaking all the rules and creating more chaos for her to deal with.
"I am sorry." I speak quietly catching her eyes.
"For what?" She asks narrowing her brows and standing when she's finished with my shoes.
"For failing you." My voice is barely above a whisper and my hand goes to my belly protectively. The boxes are threatening to break open again.
"You've never failed me, Julia. Never." Casey shakes her head and pulls me upright. "This isn't a failure." She places her hand over my belly. "This is life." She pauses, swallowing hard, "And this is love." I can feel the baby kick where she places her hand. I feel the tears welling again in my eyes looking at her and then lunge, nearly knocking her over and I wrap my arms around her neck, holding on for dear life. When I feel her arms go around me and hold me just as tightly, I let go and cry, inhaling a loud sob that turns to body rocking sobs over her shoulder. I feel like my heart and soul are breaking and she's the only thing holding me up right now, keeping me from collapsing me into my grief. I know in my soul they won't let Henry and I be together and I'm terrified they'll take our baby, too. Casey holds me tightly for as long as I need her too and when my cries finally taper off as I regain control of my emotions, she remains holding me still. It isn't until I initiate letting go that she does. When I pull back, she stands looking as stoic as ever before me. She's bottled her own feelings in order to be here for me. Be the pillar that will keep me upright and going. Her hands reach out to clasp the sides of my head and thumbs gently brush away my tear tracks.
"We will get you through this. One step at a time." She says softly and I nod against her hands still holding my face gently. "I'll do the talking for you with Ulric. If he asks you a direct question, you'll have to answer. But I'll fill him in as much as I can so that you don't have to." I'm grateful so I nod again. In stealing my move for her, she leans in and kisses the side of my head. "Let's go." She smiles at me pulling back and takes me by the hand, leading me to the door. Being a mother has had this effect on her.
We drive in silence to Ulric's London office. When we ride the elevators to the top floor and his penthouse office, Casey reaches over and gives my hand a gentle reassuring squeeze before the doors open. The blue dress she's dressed me is form fitting and I know she's done it on purpose. It reveals everything immediately and takes the awkward horrible moment where I'd actually have to tell him. He'll know now at first glance and so will anyone else who sees me. There's no hiding it now. His secretary's eyes widen the moment she sees me standing before her. My belly is at eye level to her desk. She can't tear her eyes away from it as she picks up her phone to announce our arrival.
"General Hendrix and Julia Taylor, to see you, sir."
She waves us in and Casey leads the way, she's temporarily blocking his view of me as we enter through the doorway. Ulric is sitting behind his desk. His glasses perched on his nose and looking down reading something as we enter. There are two chairs before his desk and Casey and I move to stand in front of each and wait for him to look up at us and give us permission to sit. When he finally turns his head he takes a double take at my body not believing what he's seeing. His gaze slowly lifts to mine and then sits back in his chair, resting his elbow on the arm and strokes his chin.
"You may be seated." He finally gives us permission to sit after a long and tense moment of silent staring. When I take a seat in the chair, he's moved his fingers to brace against the side of his face still staring at my belly. "Casey, explain." He commands her. I can tell he's getting angry by the flush in his cheeks and increased breathing.
"At the beginning of December, Julia was taking antibiotics for a knife wound. It caused her Birth Control to fail. Given the nature of our training and her low body fat percentage, amenorrhea is not an uncommon experience. Julia's physical fitness level is exceptional and she was unaware she had conceived for the first several months of pregnancy. Her body showed no outward signs at the time of pregnancy except for a small weight gain she'd attributed to the lack of time in the field recently. It wasn't until she felt the fetus move she realized what had occurred. By that time, it was too later for termination." She debriefs him quickly. "Julia notified me yesterday morning of the situation. It was the first time our schedules permitted us to see each other since learning of the pregnancy."
My heart is starting to pound again listening to her tell him the details. She's covering for my lapse in reporting for a month by blaming our busy schedules and trying her best to make me sound dutiful, and accountable and that I'd reported it to her in person at the first opportunity.
"She is six months pregnant. Roughly 25 weeks and due September 11th. The fetus is female, active, and in perfect health." She continues as factually as possible. Even when delivering the big blows so that I don't have to answer needless questions. "Given the date of conception, Julia is certain the father is Prince Henry."
Ulric's eyes widen and he instantly inhales a deep breath, shifting his focus from Casey to me. "Well, that certainly explains last night's activities."
"On my authority, Julia attempted to make contact with Prince Henry to notify him of the situation as soon as possible. He was noncompliant about leaving the club for a private discussion with her. Julia had no choice but to tell him the truth in the club, to which he reacted emotionally and created a scene. Once he was safe and secure away from the paparazzi, Nyah returned to confiscate all photos and digital memory cards that contained any images of them leaving the club. The situation was handled."
"And where is Henry now?" Ulric asks Casey and I can see the muscles in his cheek twitching from how hard he's clenching his jaw.
"Nyah returned him to his residence this morning."
"And where does he stand on this?" He directs his questions to Casey, which I'm thankful for, as she's a lot better at handling him than I am, certainly. I'd rather just sit here in silence.
"He wants to claim the child and plans to speak with his family right now about how to resolve the situation. They will likely be contacting you shortly to arrange a meeting with them this afternoon."
"What is the nature of your relationship with Henry? Was this a one time sexual occurrence or were the two of you having a relationship?" This time the questions are directed at me.
"A relationship, sir." I find my voice but it's subdued knowing that's forbidden. Dating Mikael was an exception he barely tolerated.
"How certain are you that this child is Henry's? You've had three siren missions for me alone in the last six months." He asks me.
"An ultrasound confirmed the conception date of December 20th. I was with Henry on that date. He was the only one I was with for three months prior, and no one else for one month after, until my first of the three siren missions this year. She has to be his."
"You know this is forbidden for you to have a child?"
My heart drops into my stomach, "Yes, sir."
"She came to me to report it. Julia wasn't trying to hide it, sir. She was following the Chain of Command." Casey jumps to my defense. Ulric raises one eyebrow, taking note of her protective reaction but he can't argue with her facts and I did report it to her. I wasn't trying to hide it.
"Until this child is claimed by Henry's family, it is considered Council Property, even in-utero. Should they not make claim, it will be my sole decision as to what happens to this child." He announces and surprises both me, and Casey given her reaction beside me. She's stopped breathing temporarily and is still as stone. "Ultimately, you are my project, Julia. I have final say on all matters concerning you and your offspring. Henry's family being given the option to make claim first, lies solely on the fact he is the Crown Prince and heir to his family's branch of The Council. I'd like to make that very clear. If he weren't an heir, he'd have no say at all. No ability to make a claim." He doesn't need to tell me that. I know that's exactly what happened with Casey and Ares. Ares had no say whatsoever what happened to his child, just like Casey didn't because both were Council Property, like me. He turns his focus to Casey, "It appears she is your protégé in every way now." His comments feels like a bomb has just detonated and I feel horrible. He's just equated my pregnancy to her failure as my mentor, because she broke the rules and got pregnant. Casey doesn't react at all and I know if I' try to defend her, that this was my own doing; I'd just make it worse for her so I stay silent.
Ulric's intercom beeps and he presses the blinking red button, irritated by the interruption but answers knowing it must be urgent for his secretary to bother him in the middle of a meeting.
"Sir, Her Majesty Queen Victoria is on Line One." His secretary announces.
"And so it begins." He huffs and reaches for the phone to keep the conversation private, at least from that side. "Hello Your Majesty," He greets her formally as is custom. "Yes, I'm being made aware of the situation as we speak. Julia is sitting in front of me." He pauses to let her speak again and then rattles of a, "Yes. Fine. We will be there." And hangs up.
"Our presence is requested immediately at the palace."
"Julia," Mikael bursts through the door and pauses when we all turn around to look at him. He is disheveled and very concerned but relaxes when he sees that I'm unharmed. "I heard that you were involved in an incident last night. Are you okay?" He asks not caring that he's interrupting Ulric's meeting with us.
"I'm fine." I answer him quietly.
"She's just pregnant." Ulric drops another bomb and sits back to watch the explosion.
Mikael's face pales instantly and then quickly moves around the chairs to stand beside Ulric's desk and faces me. His eyes widen seeing my belly for the first time. "How is this possible? I just saw you a month ago and you weren't pregnant." He waves towards my very visible belly.
"I was pregnant. I just didn't know it and it wasn't showing until now."
"Is it mine?" He asks quietly holding fast to my eyes.
"No." I answer shaking my head softly and see his posture fall immediately and then stiffen. I know what the next question will be.
"Then whose?"
"Henry." I answer quietly and he inhales a deep shaking breath.
"Henry." He repeats with a soft nod. "I thought you hadn't seen him since we left Brazil?" I know he doesn't realize how far along I am and assumes I've lied to him in the past couple months about seeing Henry.
"I haven't." I shake my head again.
"Then how?" He asks immediately confused.
"I'm much further along then I look. I'm already six months pregnant, Mikael."
"So you were already pregnant when I saw you in February?" He asks and I can see the twinkle in his eye he's recalling our drunken night together.
"Apparently."
"How can you be sure it's Henry's?" He asks quietly.
"I'm sure."
"Now what?" He asks looking from me to Casey and then back at Ulric.
"We were just leaving. A meeting has been called at the palace to discuss the matter of whether or not they'll be claiming this child as Henry's." Ulric stands, "You will attend as my heir. This is a good learning experience for you in dealing with these sorts of infractions."
"You cannot be serious?" Henry moves to stand in front of me as his grandfather ushers in a doctor and nurses wheeling an ultrasound machine and a sterile tray setup containing the items needed for an amniocentesis. Two orderlies follow with a small gurney.
"Absolutely serious." His grandfather clasps his hands behind his back, "We are not discussing this any further until we know if this child she's claiming is yours, actually is. It's a simply DNA test, Henry. Don't be overly dramatic."
"The baby is mine, grandfather. I assure you. She is my child."
"And you know this how? Because she told you so?" He counters, "Julia's a Siren, Henry and according to Ulric," He nods at Ulric sitting silently in the chair beside where he's now taking a seat. "Has been on at least three of those sorts of missions in the last six months. Mikael," He then nods to him sitting quietly beside Ulric, "Has also told Ulric he had sex with her in February. So this child could be anyone's. All we have to go on right now is her word of how far along she is and that you're the father. This test will clarify both of those very quickly." I've never felt more like a whore in all my life than in this moment and that's the point Louis is trying to make to everyone in this room, but especially me. To remind me that I'm not worthy of Henry. Mikael looks anxiously towards me with what Louis has said. I'm pained to find out he doubts my word that this child is Henry's.
I have no choice but to sit down and comply.
"Undress and lay back please." The doctor instructs me. I'm made to take my dress off in front of the entire room of people so they can examine my body. I definitely feel like a slave at this moment. Henry unzips the back of my dress and I shimmy out of it, letting it fall to the ground and step out of it and my heels. I stand before them all in just my panties and bra. Quite humiliating and it's very clear, I have no rights in all this. I do as the doctor has instructed and lay down. The nurse covers my lower half with a thin paper sheet, though for what reason I do not know. There is no dignity in any of this and they've already seen me nearly naked.
Henry refuses to let go of my hand and holds my dress in the other. The doctor squirts the green gel on my skin and moves the wand around quickly showing the room our very active baby spinning around inside of me. Henry gasps softly beside me seeing her for the first time and tears pool in his eyes. He smiles down at me and drops a kiss to my lips and then forehead in happiness. He doesn't care at all that his family is watching behind us along with Ulric, Mikael, and Cassiopeia.
The doctor takes several measurements while I lay there exposed and silent then announces exactly what I already know to be true. "25 weeks 2 days. Conception on December 20th and Due Date September 11th. The fetus is female." There's no joy or smiles coming from this guy. He's all business. Henry smiles more widely at the date of conception. I know he remembers our last night together in Rio as well as I do. When I look across the room Mikael's posture has slumped some and his facial features fallen. He's disappointed and I realize he wanted this baby to be his.
The doctor pulls the wand away and the nurse wipes a swath of my belly with alcohol and then hands the doctor a very large syringe and needle. I squeeze Henry's hand more tightly as the doctor slowly plunges it into my body, watching on the screen to see his placement and make sure he doesn't hit our baby. I pray she holds still while they do this. She seems to listen and stays still until he's finished and withdraws the syringe filled with clear liquid. He hands it to the other nurse who injects it into the small machine they're brought with them with a digital touch screen. It starts analyzing the sample fluid immediately. The nurse starts cleaning my belly off and places a bandage over the area of the needle biopsy.
"Your Highness, I need to prick your finger." The other nurse approaches Henry and he holds it out grudgingly. She pricks him, squeezes out enough blood to fill her small sample stick and then slides it into the compartment on their mini lab. The numbers are projected onto the larger screen for everyone in the room to see and when it's finished analyzing both DNA samples a 99.9% flashes in bright green for all to see. They always leave the tiniest margin of error but the results are pretty clear. I was telling the truth.
"99.9% Paternal Match." The doctor announces. "Henry is the father."
Louis sighs deeply, rubbing is forehead. Not what he was hoping to hear. Henry's grandmother remains stoic as she watches him observantly beside me. He's beaming with pride right now and an I Told You So look aimed at his grandfather.
"What else does it say?" Ulric asks and then clarifies, "About the child's DNA."
The doctor reads off the other information confirmed about my child's rapid DNA test they ran. "Confirms it's a girl. No genetic abnormalities for those we tested. Perfectly healthy."
Henry helps me slide off the gurney and hands my dress back to me. Once I've slipped back into it. He zips me up once more and escorts me to sit on the small sofa again, taking a seat beside me and holding my hand tightly.
"I want to marry Julia."
"Now it's my turn to say, you can't be serious!" His grandfather gaffs, shaking his head.
"I'm very serious." Henry looks at him intensely, speaking calmly and in control at this moment.
"Having a child together does not mean you must marry her, Henry." Henry's father, Edward, speaks up.
"I love her, father. Julia is my choice. I'd want to marry her even if we weren't having this child right now. But we are. So I want to marry her. As soon as possible so that I can claim this child and she will be my heir."
"Absolutely not!" Louis rages, "You sleep with whores on holiday, Henry, you do not bring them home and marry them! It will be over my dead body that you marry this Council whore and take her as your future Queen!" He waves in my general direction. Casey's jaw clenches and so does Mikael's sitting beside her. They don't like how he's just described me at all. Henry surges forward on the sofa and I have to hold his hand tightly to keep him from launching up at his grandfather.
"She's not a whore, grandfather! I love her." He says vehemently.
"It is not love. It is lust! She's warped your mind with her sex tricks. That's what sirens do, boy! She's trained in the art of seduction and manipulation. You're not thinking clearly." Louis looks at me like I'm the devil in a blue dress.
"I am thinking clearly. And I love her. I have since the moment I first saw her. I just knew that she was it. The only one for me, for the rest of my life. I just knew I had to be with her everyday for the rest of my life."
"You're too young to know what real love is!"
"No, we're not."
"Do I need to remind you that you're currently in a relationship with Elizabeth?" His grandfather points out, "And the entire world is already speculating that you will one day marry her. You are not going to marry a Council whore and deadly weapon. That is out of the question!"
"I don't care. I love Julia, grandmother." He shifts his focus to the silent party who holds the most weight. "It's real and I want to marry her. I want to claim our baby girl as my heir and raise her together. Please help us. Give your blessing."
"You cannot simply end your relationship with Elizabeth and announce to the world you're suddenly marrying someone else, Henry." Henry's grandmother, Victoria, finally speaks. "Especially someone they've never seen you with or feel like they know. They know Elizabeth now. You've been with her quite publicly for years. As a friend and now more. She has they're loyalty. To cast her aside will leave a bitter taste in their mouths. Your life is far too public, Henry, I'm sorry, but they'd never accept this marriage or Julia at this time." She says with a hint of sadness in her tone.
"Especially since she's six months pregnant!" Louis chimes in. "Royal weddings do not happen overnight and certainly not like this! The repercussions to the monarchy would be catastrophic."
"I'm sorry, Henry, but the answer is no. You cannot marry Julia at this time. Perhaps, if she had come to us earlier in the pregnancy, something could have been arranged. But it is too late now." His grandmother speaks and as Queen, that's it. She has the final word here. My heart is breaking. If only I'd realized I was pregnant sooner, we may have been able to find a way to be together according to his grandmother.
"Then I'm at least claiming my daughter." Henry declares defiantly with tears pooling in his eyes, holding more tightly to my hand.
"We are not claiming that child." Louis dismisses the idea immediately.
"Grandmother, please! She is my child. My responsibility."
"You cannot keep her, Henry. You cannot claim her to the public." Victoria shakes her head. "I'm sorry. But the life we live is in constant public scrutiny. We have a duty and responsibility that often times requires personal sacrifice. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart, I'm afraid."
"Then at least let me let me claim her to The Council," He pleads, "And we will choose an heir family to raise her. Please? She's my child, Grandmother. Your first great grandchild." Henry tries appealing to her heart.
"If we do not claim the child what happens to her? Will you terminate the pregnancy now or at birth?" Louis asks and I'm horrified with how freely he speaks of killing my child, his very own granddaughter. There is no doubt in my mind now that even if I'd come to them earlier in the pregnancy, they would have demanded termination if he's even considering it now this far along. Unlike his wife, he would never have entertained the idea of finding a way for Henry and I to wed.
"Neither." Ulric answers him, "The child will become Council Property like her mother. Taken at birth and placed into Foster Care until she's of age to start The Program. Julia is far too valuable of an asset to dispose any offspring with termination at this point. Even an unauthorized one." He glares at me and my heart is simultaneously stricken with joy she won't be terminated, and devastation she's going to end up with the same destiny as her mother. I'm paralyzed in this moment with grief that this is actually happening. I'm going to give birth to a child they'll take away from me immediately. My hand covers my belly protectively and I feel her moving around within. So safe and happy inside the confines of my body right now and completely unaware her fate is being decided at this very moment. Whether she will be free or whether she will end up a slave in bondage living a life of servitude. I'm shutting down. It's too much. I'm not even aware I'm crying until I feel the tears drip onto my hand covering my belly. When I look up, I see Mikael staring intently at me from across the room. He looks angry, agitated, and very upset.
"I'll marry Julia. I'll claim this child." Mikael suddenly announces the room falls immediately silent. The breath leaves my body in a quiet rush of disbelief and wonder. All eyes are wide and staring right at him. Henry seems at first shocked and then angry and confused by his friends declaration. "I may be the Tsarevich of Russia, but I am not in the public eye, at all. Outside of The Council heirs, no one knows that myself or a Russian monarchy even exist today." He explains, "I can marry her and we can raise this child together." His eyes flash to mine with hope and determination, "She won't be Council Property, Julia, and you'll get to keep her. She'll never end up in The Program. I'll marry you and I'll claim your child. We will raise her together." His big blue eyes hold fast to mine. I'm breathless at what he's willing to do for me in order for me to keep my child; to keep her from a life of indentured servitude. I realize in this moment, exactly how much Mikael actually loves me if he's willing to raise Henry's child as his own.
Casey's eyes are wide and I know she's as stunned as I am while Ulric's eyebrow slants slightly, his fingers stroking his chin in thought, but I'm surprised he's not outright denying this idea listening to Mikael.
"Absolutely not." Louis argues. "You will not claim another monarchy's offspring as your heir!"
"This child won't be my heir," Mikael explains but his eyes are held fast to mine, "Our first boy child together, Julia and mine, will be my heir." My heart flips and rolls speaking of us having future children together in this arrangement. I feel Henry's hand squeeze mine painfully, unaware he's doing so but clearly not liking this idea that Mikael would get to marry me. Have this child and future children with me.
"No," Henry is shaking his head, "Absolutely not. You can't marry her, Mikael. I love Julia." He pleads in anger.
"I love her, too, Henry. I always have and I always will." Mikael stuns everyone by admitting his true feelings for me still. "And I'm able to provide her with a life you cannot. Think about it, my friend," Mikael looks at Henry earnestly, "By claiming this child, Julia's child, your child," Mikael continues to explain how this would work, "I will be able to provide this child with the life and privileges of an heir within The Council. She will be safe and loved and have a family. You will still have access to her. Your child, I mean." He adds quietly at the end I know he's done so to clarify that Henry would have access to his child, but not to me, romantically at least. If he marries me, I am his. "I'll raise your child, Henry." Mikael straightens a little, "She will be loved. Just as we both love her mother." His eyes glance towards me, drawing both their attention towards me. Both staring at me. My heart is racing and the baby is kicking wildly with the increased blood flow, all I can do is rub my thumb nervously back and forth in disbelief this is happening. This was nothing I was expecting, at all. And looking over at Casey, she wasn't expecting this either. She's completely focused on watching Ulric's reaction to what Mikael is saying. He's actually thinking about it. You can almost see the wheels turning in his head by the look in his eyes. As though he's zoned out the rest of the room and world for a moment and is contemplating something he'd never thought about before.
"Ulric, is that an option?" Victoria asks quietly.
"It's never been done before with anyone in The Program." Ulric answers her, still stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps, an exception could be made in this case." He looks at me and this time, Casey's eyes break their intense focus on him to zero in on me. I can see and feel her surprise. There it is again, that statement of making me the exception.
"Would Marie even agree to this?" Victoria asks speaking of her distant cousin and head of Mikael's family.
"We'd have to speak with her about it." Ulric answers quietly, shifting in his chair, "But given her support of Mikael's relationship with Julia in the past, I'd have to believe she would agree to this so long as Julia also produces a legitimate heir with Mikael to claim as the Romanov heir."
"You're willing to consider this?" Mikael asks Ulric hopeful with bright eyes. I can tell he never expected Ulric to agree to this either.
"I'm willing to consider it." Ulric nods at him, "On the condition that Julia remains Council Property and in The Program. She's far too valuable to let go. She will continue her work and responsibilities as usual. We've put far too much work into her creation and training to let her simply go off to be an Heir's spouse."
"I don't like this idea, not at all." Louis waves it off, standing and pacing towards the window with hands behind his back. "Even if you're willing to allow Mikael to sacrifice his future for the likes of her," He nods in my direction, "Our lives are too intertwined, running in the same circles and social schedules. Henry will have too much access to this child and that will become a distraction to his duties and future responsibilities. He's too young to bare this responsibility or be punished for the rest of his life for this indiscretion. And so is Mikael. I think it's best for both boys, to terminate this pregnancy."
"No!" Henry rises instantly feeling the same panic as me hearing 'terminate.' "She won't be a distraction." He focuses in on his grandmother again, "Grandmother, I promise, if you let my child live and this is the arrangement, I will keep my distance and carry on with my duties and responsibilities to the monarchy." He swallows hard. "Grandmother, please." There are new tears in his eyes in thinking about all this. He's willing to accept the idea of Mikael marrying me and raising our child, if the alternative that's being suggested is termination.
"I need more time to think about this." Victoria answers him quietly. "Regardless, I won't allow the child to be terminated." She tries to assure Henry and he visibly relaxes, as do I, with relief she's sparing our child's life at least. "I need time to discuss the matter further with Marie," She looks at Mikael and then Ulric. "I would rather have the child with extended family than any other Council family. Or subjected to The Program." She adds the later in a tone that suggests she will never let that happen, her grandchild becoming Council Property. "This may be a suitable solution."
My life is being decided before my eyes, and I have no say whatsoever. Mikael seems quite happy they're considering it and while I do love him, and could do far worse in this situation, especially after his willingness to do this for me, I am deeply in love Henry now. He's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and it feels like such a betrayal to our love to go back to Mikael now. Not that long ago, I would have rejoiced in being given permission to marry Mikael and make a life with him. But everything is so different now. Having sex with him on our drunken night in February just felt so wrong after being with Henry. Like I was betraying my heart and soul and now I'm facing a lifetime of it. I hear the old adage of be careful what you wish for ringing through my ears. My dream of having a chance at a real life is potentially coming true, but with the wrong man.
Ulric stands as this meeting adjourns with Victoria's declaration she needs more time to make a decision. "We both need to discuss a possible plan with Marie." He nods at Victoria. "We can reconvene on this matter next week on Wednesday morning, if that's acceptable to you? I will be back in London then to deal with another matter on Tuesday."
"I'll make certain there is room in my schedule then." Victoria nods in acceptance and everyone else stands, preparing for departure. "Before you leave, I'd like a moment alone with Henry and Julia, please." She waves the both of us to take a seat again. "It won't take long. Just a moment. You can wait for Julia in the corridor."
Ulric doesn't look happy about it, but nods again in consent. Shuffling out the door with Casey and Mikael in tow. Edward, Henry's father, follows them out but Louis remains standing by the window.
"Louis," Victoria addresses her husband, "Alone." She flashes her violet colored eyes his way with a tone that is not to be trifled with. My heart is thundering that she's ordering him out of the room as well.
Henry reaches for my hand and holds it tightly watching his grandfather leave begrudgingly. When the door is closed behind him, Victoria shifts in her chair to look at us head on.
"I know that this is very difficult situation for the both of you," she speaks calmly with the eloquence of the queen she is, "And I'm quite certain you are not pleased with the idea of Julia marrying Mikael," she looks at Henry, "But this is the best solution to this situation. It is the only way that this child remains with one of you to raise and be kept from a life of dangerous servitude in The Program." We both nod in understanding, tears filling both our eyes. "Nothing about this situation is ideal. I wish you had come to me sooner, earlier in your pregnancy." She's addressing me now.
"I didn't realize I was pregnant until just last month, Your Majesty." I try to explain, holding back my tears, "With the conditioning of my body and the strain, I honestly didn't know until I felt her move. My belly didn't begin showing until this last month."
"I see." She accepts what I say as the truth with a sad nod. "Well, I am saddened to hear of the misfortunes of poor timing. If we'd known earlier, we could have planned. Prepared the country and the world of your relationship so they would be more accepting. But it's too late for that now." She pauses looking the both of us, "I knew of your relationship in Brazil." She reveals, and I'm stunned. I can see that Henry is too, so he certainly didn't tell her. Her own spies must have, likely within Henry's Security Detail. "Nothing much gets by me." She smiles slyly at the expression on our faces. "I was aware then, that this relationship was something different. I do believe you when you say you are in love and this is real." She continues to stun us both. "But unfortunately, as I said before, we must often make sacrifices in the name of duty and responsibility. This is one of those times. Love rarely survives in our world, unfortunately. Arranged marriages are practically standard. I will not forbid you from seeing each other moving forward, though I do not encourage adulterous marriages. I believe that once you make a commitment to a relationship, you need to stand by that decision, for better or worse. The next few months are going to be extremely challenging for you both emotionally as this transition is made, and so I'm willing to make certain concessions and give leeway. But I expect the both of you to behave with more discretion when in public. That scene leaving the club last night is never to be repeated." She looks at Henry, especially, with a warning in her eyes. "Is that understood?"
"Yes, ma'am." We both answer her quietly.
"You will also not purposefully lose your Security Detail again. Arrangements can be made for private meetings if necessary through myself or Daniel; but you will not simply vanish again. Is that understood?" She asks.
"Yes, ma'am." Henry answers this time as she's speaking to him, but we're both in shock she's not actually forbidding further contact and has given her permission to meet in private in the next few months, so long as we clear it through Henry's Head of Security, Daniel.
"I trust in Julia's abilities to keep you safe when alone, Henry," She looks at us both, "but simply vanishing or participating in dangerous car chases through the city will not be tolerated. If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like one and make sensible choices. Until last night, you were in a committed relationship with Elizabeth and you will remain in that relationship for the foreseeable future, Henry." The tone she's using leaves no room for argument and she's speaking just to him now. "An abrupt departure from that relationship, especially after being seen leaving the club with another woman, would only cause a media circus. If this plan moves forward, Julia and Mikael will be married soon and you will need to move on as well. Whether you end up marrying Elizabeth or someone else down the road does not matter. Your behavior now does. Monarchies do not survive if they run on emotional outbursts and whims. Careful consideration must be taken in every aspect of your life. Your life is not your own, Henry. It never has been nor has mine. Being born into this position requires great personal sacrifice and for that, I am sorry. You are the future of the monarchy and you must start acting accordingly. If you want to protect your child and her future, you will do what is necessary even if difficult. If Mikael can provide her with that secure future, you will do what needs to be done to ensure his relationship with Julia is intact. You will not do anything to jeopardize it. Once they are married, she will be his wife and you will respect that relationship. Do you understand?" She asks with a softer tone.
"Yes, grandmother." Henry answers her sounding so deflated my heart is breaking. I blink back a fresh round of tears and see him doing the same.
"I will do the best I can to make arrangements for this child that will give her the happiest, healthiest, and securest of homes. I'd like that to at least be with you, Julia, since Henry cannot. I have followed your career and know that you're remarkable at what you do, standing out from your peers in performance. But what impresses me more, is your loyalty to those you love. You do what is necessary, even when difficult. I expect you will do the same with this child." She looks at me intently.
"Yes, ma'am." I answer choking on my emotions. This woman is doing what she can so that I can keep my child and I'm eternally grateful, just simultaneously heartbroken that it cannot be with Henry.
"All right then." Victoria stands and so do we. "Julia, we will see you next week." She offers a small smile.
"Your Maj-argh!" I'm in the middle of thanking her when a sharp pain in my abdomen nearly doubles me over. My hands immediately grab my belly feeling the sharp and intense cramp that won't relent.
"Julia!" Henry is panicking trying to hold me up as I'm falling to my knees. "What's wrong?"
"A cramp." I cringe through grit teeth and new tears, trying to take deep breaths. When it starts to pass I'm able to straighten a little. "I'm sure it's from the biopsy. I'll be fine."
"You need to go home and rest. Immediately for the remainder of the day." Victoria demands with obvious concern on her features. "Too much stress for one day. It's not good for you or the baby."
"No, it isn't. She's kicking me so hard right now." I run my hand over my belly still feeling the quivering muscles and my baby that's kicking with gusto and not helping matters. "Oh please, little one, calm down." I talk to her as I do when she won't let me sleep at night. "Please calm down." I'm certain it was the surge of adrenaline that just ran through me with this cramp that has her immediately wound up.
Henry's hand reaches out to place beside mine and feels her hard thumps as well.
"May I?" Victoria asks nodding towards my belly. I'm stunned she's asking or even wants to feel the kicks. It takes me a moment to snap out of my astonishment to answer her.
"Of course," I smile and remove my hand, placing hers where mine was so she can feel where the baby is most active. Henry removes his hand so that only his grandmother's hand remains on my belly and I can see he's just as astonished and moved by this as I am. He wasn't expecting it either given the intimacy of such contact.
Victoria smiles feeling all the movement beneath her hand. She leaves it there for quite a while and then takes a slow deep breath, nods and pulls her hand away. I get the impression she's thinking about what needs to be done, even if it isn't easy as she just told us was a part of being who they are as the current Queen and future King. This is her great grandchild after all, and she doesn't appear to have the same detached resolve about it as her husband does. She'll never be a part of this child's life and I realize that this moment will likely be her only contact, her one memory and connection with our baby.
"She will have a blessed life." She says in her perfectly eloquent speech and accent. "I'll do my best to make sure of it. And you do the same." She gives us a knowing look and smile. "Now come. We've kept them stewing out here long enough."
Henry and I don't have a chance to say goodbye. The moment we're out the door, we're greeted by each other's waiting parties and that's that.
"I want to make it very clear that you are forbidden from seeing Henry until we return here next week. Is that understood?" Ulric orders once we are in the limo leaving the palace.
"Yes, sir." I answer with a soft nod of acknowledgement.
"I'm sending you and Mikael back to Sweden immediately. Cassiopeia and I will be meeting with Lady Marie to discuss this possible arrangement." He continues to inform me.
"I'm supposed to fly to Cairo in the morning on a mission for Mossad, sir." I remind him that I've been loaned to Israel's Intelligence Agency for the next two weeks.
"Until further notice, you are grounded." He commands in a tone that is none too pleasant. "Nyah will go in your stead."
Mikael and I board the plane in silence. He takes the seat directly across from me, staring at me as we start taxing down the runway. His eyes keep glancing down to my belly. I don't know what to say to him. What he's offered to do for me is nothing I was ever expecting. I know he has his own motivations for doing it as well, but I can't ignore what he's doing for me by doing this.
"Thank you." I finally muster the courage to say something.
"Do you still love me?" He asks quietly. I wasn't expecting this either.
"Yes. I love you." I answer truthfully.
"But not like you love Henry." He states in quiet realization.
"No. Not like I love Henry." I sigh not wanting to hurt him. "I love you both its just," there is a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes trying to explain what I've tried hiding and denying so long. "I can't explain in a way you'll understand."
"Try me."
"Meeting Henry was like, meeting the other half of me. I don't feel whole without him. When we're together, I feel a complete sense of calm and peace inside my soul. I know it doesn't make sense." I shake my head, feeling the first tear roll down my cheek.
"It does." Mikael nods quietly, "I understand perfectly. It's how I feel with you." He admits.
I suck in a sharp breath feeling a rush of emotions with his admission. "I'm sorry." I cry quietly that I can't love him like he loves me.
"Don't be." He shakes his head hard once. "I'll love you enough for the both of us." His sad smile is heartbreaking. "Just," I can tell he's struggling to say something and wait patiently, "If you'd never met Henry, would you love me like that?"
This is an impossible question to answer. "What I feel for him, isn't something I've ever felt, Mikael, even with you. I love you deeply and truly. You're one of the best friends I've ever had and I can't imagine my life without you. But its not the same way I love him." I have to be honest with him. It's not fair to enter into this lying about my feelings on it all.
He nods softly in acceptance. "Okay."
"You don't have to do this." I shake my head thinking about what he's doing. Marrying someone he knows is in love with someone else and claiming their baby.
"Yes, I do." He says adamantly. "You need me to do this and I'd do anything for you because I love you, Julia. The way you love him, I love you. And whatever keeps you safe, makes you happy, I'm willing to do."
"But raising his child," I shake my head.
"She's your child." He smiles softly, "And I will love her just as I love you. Marry me, and she will have a good life. I promise, Julia. She will be safe."
There is nothing left to say. Words have failed me. It's been far too stressful and long of a day. I unbuckle my belt and move to sit beside him on the small sofa, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tightly.
"It's going to be okay." He smoothes his hand down the back of my head and holds me tightly. "I promise." His lips drop a sweet kiss to the side of my head. "I won't let him take her from you." He's speaking of Ulric. When I pull back from the embrace, I remain sitting beside him and lean into his shoulder, resting my head beneath his chin. His arm wrapping around me protectively. It feels nice just to be held.