Rules of Engagement (ROE) Book Two: Take Nothing For Granted

by SAWild

The Second Installment of the epic story, Rules of Engagement (ROE) Book One: Never Waste Good. Story picks up right where it left off in Book One :) So if you haven't read that first, you're going to want to or be completely lost! WARNING: This book gets pretty deep and intense storyline wise. AU. Not for the simple FLUFF seekers! Though there is that too! ;)

64. The Phoenix Protocol- Chap 24

Third Chapter up today! Don't miss the first two!
FYI: Since some have asked, I thought I'd share with all: pronunciation of names! Mikael is a spelling variant of Mikhail, pronounced 'Me-kale.' And his nickname, 'Mika' is pronounced, "Me-ka." As for Cassiopeia and her backstory that is intriguing people, it reveals itself more and more as time goes on to both the readers and to Julia. Casey is most definitely an enigma, and one I obviously love dearly for her to appear so much! She's intrinsic to who Julia becomes. :) - Wild

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Memories

It's his lips on my forehead I feel first. "Jules," Mikael whispers my name bringing me back from a deep sleep. "We're here." He smiles and I sit up, realizing I've been sleeping on him this whole time. Mikael stands first, and stretches before extending his hand to me to help me up. When we walk towards the door I see where we're at. This is not what I was expecting. I was expecting to land in Stockholm and be staying in the city but when we walk down the stairs of the jet we've landed at the private airstrip on the estates.

"What are we doing here?" I ask in surprise as he continues to lead me by the hand towards the waiting car.

"I thought you could use some motherly love." He shrugs with a soft smile and I'm astounded. I stop walking and just look at him with wide eyes. He's brought me to Maria's, going against everything Ulric wants in regards to my relationship with my biological mother. "Ulric said you had to stay in Sweden." His smile grows seeing how surprised I am. "He didn't specify where."

"You've changed." I speak quietly thinking about how this man standing before me is very different than the one I used to know. The one who seethed obscenities beneath his breath at Maria during my first visit here years ago, so selfish and only ever thinking of himself. I can see now what Casey meant when she said she didn't hate him as much anymore as she once did. She saw the change, too. He'd finally learned to love unconditionally.

"You've had a good effect on me." He smiles with a shrug, tugging my hand again to get me moving. "Or so my mother and grandmother keep telling me."

"Are you sure she's even here?" I ask quietly once we're in the car and on our way. "The last I heard, they were cruising through the Med on Anni's yacht." My sister certainly lived the life of luxury, no expense spared. She was born into great wealth but she was also incredibly smart and savvy. She had built her own little empire of good investments with real estate all around the globe.

"She's here." He nods smiling, "They got in this morning. I called ahead and told my mother I was on my way."

"Did you tell them? About this?" My hand smoothes nervously over my belly.

"No. I didn't say anything about your arrival. Just made sure Maria was home." He shakes his head softly. "I figured that was something you'd like to tell her. To explain."

"Thank you." I'm grateful he's going to let me tell her this news.

The car pulls up to the front of the massive house and stops. He gets out and holds his hand out to me, helping me out and then grabs my duffle bag of clothes.

We walk to the door and ring the bell. Tomas answers with a smile and then surprise looking down at my belly.

"Good evening, Tomas." Mikael greets him. "Is Lady Maria in?"

"Yes, yes, sir. She is." He stumbles on his words.

"Good." Mikael smiles and hands him my bag. "I trust you can take care of this for Miss Julia."

"Yes, sir."

"You're not coming in?" I ask in surprise.

"I think it's best I steer clear why she processes this." He smiles with a soft laugh. It's a fair assessment of the situation. Maria will likely not be happy with Ulric's orchestrating of my life in this regard and she'll focus in on Mikael as his heir in his absence.

I stand on my tiptoes and pull gently on his neck to bring his head down towards me, kissing his cheek gently. "Thank you." I smile. "I'll see you later?" I ask wondering when I'll see him again.

"Definitely. Likely first thing in the morning once I break this news to my mother. She's going to want to see it with her own eyes at first light." He laughs again softly and I know it's from nervousness. This is a big thing we're doing. "Goodnight." He kisses my cheek, nods at Tomas and heads back to the car.

"Miss Julia," Tomas smiles at me, stepping back to allow me entrance and then I wait patiently for him to close the door and escort me inside.

We walk in silence through the house and towards the back patio. "Lady Maria is in the garden." He smiles at me, holding open the door once more and then continues to lead me outside. One of the advantages of being this far north in the summertime was how light it was outside still at this hour. "Lady Maria," He gains her attention as we approach where she's kneeling on the ground snipping tomatoes in her garden. "Miss Julia to see you."

Maria wheels around quickly at the mention of me with a raging smile and then stops instantly coming face to face with my visible body change. Her movements slow considerably as she stands before me, removing her dirty gloves in almost slow motion.

"Thank you, Tomas." She finally speaks. "Could you please see to it that Miss Julia's things are brought to her room?" My room? That catches my attention immediately. She's assigned me my own room now it seems and the idea makes my heart dance a little.

"Yes, ma'am." He smiles and departs our presence.

Maria hasn't stopped staring at my belly the entire time. I can see and feel a torrent of emotions washing over her. Confusion, elation and mostly fear. She knows as well as I do that I'm forbidden to have a child given what I am. Considering what Casey just went through having a child, I understand her fear.

"Have you eaten?" She asks looking at. She's nearly as neurotic now about making sure I'm always fed as Casey is after what happened.

"I haven't." I answer truthfully shaking my head softly. She's still staring at my belly with gloves gripped tightly in one hand. I know she's also delaying while she processes what she's seeing. My hand instinctively goes to my belly when I feel the baby kick hard, still cramping slightly from the procedure today.

"Well, let's get you fed. And then," She finally moves forward, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and turning us back towards the house, "You can tell me all about this." She nods towards my belly and squeezes me in a sideways hug. Her lips drop a soft kiss to the side of my head as we walk the rest of the way in silence.

"Why don't you go change into something more comfortable," She speaks once we're in the house, taking note of my dress and heels, "And I'll start preparing something for you to eat. I'm sure you want to get out of those shoes at least."

"Yes, I do." I nod thinking about what a day it's been.

"Your things are in your room." She smiles with a nod leaving me at the base of the Grand Staircase.

"My room?" I ask again in surprise.

"Yes." She nods confidently. "Your room. Yours and Casey's, if she ever comes back." She adds quietly with a sad smile. "I think you know where it is." She smiles more widely with a twinkle in her eye. "I've finished the remodel of the West Wing. That room is yours and it's all ready for you now."

I can't help but smile in hearing this news. My heart leaps with joy instead of breaking with sadness as it has all day. "Thank you." I grasp her forearm, leaning up and give her a quick kiss to her cheek. She seems very pleasantly surprised by the gesture and nods happily at me to go, get changed.

When I walk through the door of the old room I'm so familiar with, I cannot help but smile from ear to ear. The old hardwood floors have been sanded, stained and polished to perfection. The walls have been painted and a gorgeous new chandelier hangs in the center of the room. The fireplace stones that were once cracked and some missing have been fixed and replaced. New chairs and a small sofa sit before it on top a gorgeous area rug. The antique bed that Casey and I shared has been restored to all its glory but it's the old quilt she's left covering it that really has me smiling. I told her last time I was here I loved how beautiful it was after she suggested getting rid of it to get me something new. I told her I'd already made memories with it having been covered by it the morning I first awoke to see her smiling face looking down on me while she mended my bullet wounds. It was the same quilt Casey and I snuggled beneath the first night we ever shared a bed. It had covered her when I'd brought her here after thinking she was dead and woke in the morning to see her beautiful alive eyes staring back at me. Good memories I'd made with this quilt that were too precious to just throw away for something new and Maria's left it for me, the one thing that hasn't received an upgrade in this room.

A gorgeous new wooden mantle now resides above the fireplace, decorated with various trinkets but it's the framed photos that bring instant tears to my eyes. The photos I'd given her after Casey's death of the both of us when I was little at camp. I reach out my fingers gently to brush over the one of us in the canoe with Nyah. We're so little and Casey is so young. Not much older than I am now sitting stoically in the back with the faintest of smiles on her face sitting behind us where we can't see her at Nyah's and my enthusiasm at winning the race. Our little faces bring an instant smile to mine now and happy tears.

Tomas has set my duffle on the end of the bed and when I walk over and take a seat on the edge, it's the photo framed on the nightstand that leaves me breathless. With trembling fingers I reach for it in disbelief. It's a photo of Casey and I sleeping in this very bed. We are snuggled into your pillows, lying face to face with a hand tucked beneath our faces each. I have no idea when or how she was able to get this photo but it looks to be a couple years old. Casey isn't starvation thin so I know it must have been taken during our first stay here together. The days after the Birthday Dinner from Hell, as we call it. For Casey not to even stir having someone hover or her with a camera tells me she was exhausted and in a dead sleep and then I remember, the day after the birthday dinner. After Casey had been awake for days and ran her heart out for miles, she'd collapsed beside me in bed that day exhausted. She was so tired she didn't hear or sense Maria sitting over us watching us sleep or me slipping out of the bed. That's when she must have taken this photo.

"Sneaky woman." I smile through my tears. She really is the best of us, I can't help but think and laugh setting the photo down again noticing the one behind it for the first time. It's the photo I'd given to her last year of Casey, Alexei, and I, heads together and all smiles. This room is like a time capsule of how far Casey and I have come in our relationship.

Maria is standing in front of the stove when I find her in the kitchen. A place setting has already been put out for me at the little breakfast table and she's currently dishing up some type of stroganoff looking dish. Whatever it is, smells amazing even on being reheated for me.

"Feel better?" She asks seeing the more comfortable clothes I've changed into.

"Much. Thank you." I nod nervously pulling the sleeves of my sweatshirt over my hands to grip tightly in my palms.

"Have a seat." She motions me to the table and sets the dish before me. I do as a commanded and she takes the seat opposite from me. "Now why haven't you eaten all day?" She asks with slanted brow. I stare at her a moment before answering. She looks beautiful with sun-kissed skin, her gorgeous blonde hair and even the smudges of dirt I can see on her cheeks from where she must have wiped stray hairs away with her wrist while working in the garden. She's smiling at me even though she's scolding me and I want to remember this moment forever. It feels very much like our first real moment as a mother and daughter in having this conversation that is about to come. I'm here not because I've been ordered to be or because she's insisted on caring for me after I was tortured in her guilt, or in bringing her more bad news about Casey's death and disappearance, or in actually bringing Casey here as sanctuary until we could move her, this is me here for the first time in my life for me when I need her for something. Because I need to be comforted when the world is turning upside down. I'm about to become a mother and I desperately need a mother. The mother I've known, Kristin, is gone. But I still have one and she's sitting right in front of me and I know she wants to love me if I let her. And right now, I want to let her. I need her. I need my mother.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Maria asks and I realize I must have been staring too long in my ponderings.

"You're very beautiful." I answer with a soft smile, fingering my hair behind my ear. "That's all." I try to deflect by giving her some of the truth, not wanting to divulge my inner most thoughts on how desperately I want to let her into my life as my mother.

"Thank you." She smiles with her head cocked slightly to the side, her analyzing big blue eyes know there is more but she doesn't press me for it. Instead, she goes back to her original question. "Now, why haven't you eaten all day?" She asks again and motions me to start eating.

"I have had a very long day." I say quietly before taking a bite.

"What is so busy that you've not eaten? Someone in your condition cannot skip meals, Julia. Your body isn't capable of running the way it used to while you're pregnant." I can't help but smile. She sounds so much like Casey. "What's so funny?" She asks seeing my smile.

"You two sound so much alike." I shake my head. "Casey scolded me this morning saying nearly the exact same thing when I told her I hadn't eaten since the morning before."

"Two days in a row without eating?" Maria's eyes narrow. "I don't see how that is funny given your condition."

"It's not funny." I sober with a big sigh. "That you two are so alike is funny." I smile at her with a shrug before taking another bite.

"So she obviously knows about this." Maria nods towards my unseen belly beneath the table.

"Yes, she knows I'm pregnant. I told her yesterday morning on her way through Paris."

"Paris. So Nyah knows as well, I'm assuming." She's using deductive reasoning.

"Yes." I nod slowly. "I told her the night before."

"How far along are you?" She asks when I finish chewing the last bite.

"According to the ultrasound today, she's measuring at 25 weeks and 2 days."

"She?" Maria asks near breathless hearing the details.

"Yes, I'm having a girl."

"So you conceived in December?" She asks putting it together and I nod. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I've seen you twice since then."

"I didn't realize I was pregnant when I last saw you. It was only last month, when she started moving that I realized what was happening. It took a month to sink in and figure out what to do. I told Nyah first so she could help me break the news to Casey." I pause taking another bite as I slowly retell this story. "It's been a whirlwind since then. I can't believe that was only 24 hours ago."

"And where is she now?" Maria asks folding her hands before her on the table.

"Who? Casey or Nyah?" I ask for clarification.

"Both, I guess, but I meant Casey."

"In England with Ulric discussing this with Lady Marie."

"So he knows." She sighs deeply letting go of the breath she's been holding apparently in thinking about his reaction.

"He knows." I nod slowly.

"And the baby is Mikael's, I'm assuming if they're speaking to Marie about this?"

"No." I shake my head thinking about how difficult this is to explain. "The baby is not Mikael's. But he's claiming it."

"What? Why? And whose?" She asks rapidly in confusion.

"The baby's father is Prince Henry." I answer slowly taking a long sip of my water and see her eyes widen.

"I wasn't aware you were in a relationship with him. Isn't he dating Elizabeth?"

"He is." I nod and I realize I'm giving her very short answers but it's difficult to have this conversation while eating. I know if I stop eating, she'll scold me so I don't dare do that. Eating while conversing is actually a welcome distraction I'm finding. Keeping my mind on something mundane while revealing all this. "But when I was stationed in Brazil last fall and winter, Henry and I became very close." I gulp, "We fell in love." I admit and see the instant concern flash before her eyes. "But we are forbidden to be together and so we separated."

"Does he know about this child?"

"Yes, I told him last night." I nod, "He asked me to marry him this morning." Her eyes widen in surprise, "But by the end of the day, I'm now marrying Mikael."

"What?" She practically lunges out of her chair sitting forward. "Why?"

"The only way for me to keep this child, is to be married to an heir." I try to explain and see her confusion and understanding of the rules simultaneously. "Henry is forbidden to marry me and if he claims this child, she will be taken from me at birth and placed with another family. As with Casey, I have no rights to my own child."

Her hands roll instantly into tight fists.

"But Henry does as an heir." My voice is quiet as I try to hold back the tears. "We met with his family today. They won't let him claim her at all. Which means she will be taken from me at birth as Council Property and placed into Foster Care until she reaches the age of seven, then be put through The Program."

"No." She shakes her head instantly in held back rage. "No. That's not happening. I warned him that my grandchildren were off limits. He's not taking your baby."

"He's not." I assure her instantly, fearful she may just kill him now. "He's agreed to let Mikael marry me and claim this child so that I can keep her. I won't be free from The Program and I will still be an active agent, I'll just also be Mikael's wife and get to keep my child."

"And what does Mikael think of this?"

"He's the one who suggested it." I inform her and see the surprise once more. "When it was pretty clear in today's meeting that they were going to seize her at birth from me, Mikael stepped forward and said he'd marry me and claim her. We thought for certain Ulric would say no, but he started thinking about it and said it would work but he had to discuss it with Marie. Queen Victoria said she was supportive of the idea, liking the fact the child would remain with her extended family, grow up on the heir side instead of the slave like me and that I'd get to keep my child." The tears start pricking my eyes, "So they're discussing this arrangement now. With Marie and we will reconvene with a decision next week."

"And how do you feel about this?" She asks quietly and I see the same tears pooling in her eyes that I feel in mine.

"I'm grateful he's willing. It's the only solution that allows me to keep this child."

"But you're not in love with him anymore, are you." She states seeing the look in my eyes.

"I love Henry. I love Mikael, too. But it's not the same way I feel about Henry. He's the one." I reveal quietly looking into her big beautiful eyes. "I just felt it the moment we met. He's the one."

"And does Mikael know this?"

"Yes, he knows. He said he loves me like I love Henry and he's willing to do whatever he can to make me happy and to keep my baby."

She shakes her head in disbelief, "He's changed. You've changed him, Julia." She smiles sadly. "And how does Henry feel about this?" Her tone changes in thinking about what all this means.

"He's quite upset. As am I. We have no say in any of this. We are very much in love and forbidden to be together and he has to watch his best friend step up and claim our child. It's something neither of us can even comprehend right now." I shake my head feeling the tears drip from my chin. "It all feels surreal. Like a dream or a nightmare."

"Then why can't Victoria step up and let him claim this child! Let him marry you!" She's angry.

"She said that if I'd learned earlier I was pregnant, maybe she could have done something. But it's too late now. I'm too far along and Henry is too much in the public eye. The world believes he's madly fallen in love with Elizabeth and this would tarnish their monarchy. Henry's grandfather absolutely hates me. I can't even remember how many times he called me a whore today. Said it would be over his dead body that a Council whore like me sits on the throne as Henry's Queen. He wanted to terminate the baby immediately. Accused me of using my Siren skills to seduce Henry into this."

"You're not a whore." Her voice is like ice and I see fire in her eyes. "Louis has always been a pretentious arsehole."

"Ulric forbid our marriage as well."

"Then why allow you to marry Mikael?"

"Because marrying Mikael allows me to continue working as I am. Henry's life is far too public for that and he's not willing to let me go."

"This is ridiculous. You should be allowed to marry Henry. They're making it far more complicated than it needs to be."

"That's never going to happen it seems." I sniffle back my tears and wipe at my stinging cheeks. My eyes hurt from all the crying. The new stress I'm feeling sends another cramp racing through my side doubling me over again.

"What? What is it?" She's at my side instantly kneeling in front of me.

"Cramp." I bite back from screaming through my tears. "Oh no." I feel the instant bit of dampness in my panties. My voice is barely above a whisper in panic. Another cramp hits me hard and I nearly crumple completely from the chair. "Argh," I inhale the scream feeling another wave of wetness trickle down my leg. "Oh God no," I cry thinking about losing this baby after everything we've been through. My heart is racing while I cling to my belly and the table with white knuckles. A bright red spot forms on my inner thigh and Maria's eyes get wide.

"You're bleeding." She tries to help me stay in the chair. "Take deep breaths. In and out. Slowly." She commands and starts breathing with me. "Too much stress." She says shaking her head when the cramp begins to pass.

"And the amnio." I explain, "They did one today to confirm Henry was the father." I shake my head, "I'm supposed to be resting."

"Come." She gently helps to lift and support me. "We're getting you into bed and then I'm calling my doctor. He makes house calls."

When I'm changed and settled into bed, she goes to call the doctor leaving me with instruction to lie on my left side. My mobile phone starts ringing the moment Maria returns.

"Where is it?" She asks hearing it and seeing I'm still in tears and rubbing my belly still feeling waves of cramping, "I don't want you to get up. I'll get it."

"My duffle." I point towards the end of my bed.

She retrieves it and hands it to me warily seeing the Caller ID. "It's Casey." I can see her anxiousness as she takes a gentle seat beside me on the bed. The last time she saw or spoke to Casey at all was more than a year and a half ago when she was in this house, unconscious, and near death except for the very brief goodbye on the way out the door. I know she's longed to see her again but I'm not going to push Casey. She's kept her word to keep an open mind and has sent Maria photos twice of Alexei but has yet to see her in person again.

"Hello," I answer in a voice thick with emotion from crying but trying to hold back my tears. Casey doesn't respond and so I try again, "Hello?" I wonder if we've lost the connection when all I hear is silence.

"You're breathing funny." She states suddenly. I should have known she'd hear the change in my breathing.

"I'm cramping." I'm honest with her. "I'm trying to slow it down and manage the pain."

"Are you bleeding?" She asks quietly with obvious concern.

"Yes. But I think it's stopped now." I wipe at the tears rolling over my nose. "The doctor is coming now to examine me and make sure she's still okay."

"Is Mikael with you?" She asks immediately concerned now.

"No, he's at his mother's." I take a deep breath.

"He left you alone?" Her tone is instantly of anger and annoyance.

"No, I'm with Maria. At the estate." I look over at Maria who looks back nervously for both my condition and this conversation I'm having with her other estranged child whose voice I know she can hear through the line. "She called her private physician. He's on his way."

"It was too much today. Too much." I can hear her frustration coming through the line. "They never should have subjected you to that test today with all this stress and then put you on a plane."

"I don't think they care if I miscarry." It's the truth, and likely a hopeful, positive outcome in their eyes. "Problem solved." I add in barely above a whisper feeling another wave of tears. Maria instantly reaches for and holds my free hand. She's definitely distraught over this situation.

"Don't let that doctor touch you." Casey announces in the voice that I know well as 'The General.' It's such a harsh and barking command it startles me having not heard it in a while. Maria's heard it as well as her eyes widen and then narrow in upset.

"Why not?" I ask feeling fearful immediately given her tone.

"Because that man is loyal to Ulric." She reveals.

It doesn't dawn on me immediately what she's really saying until I review my last statement. "You think he'd do something so I miscarry?" I ask in barely above a whisper.

"Don't let anyone touch you until I get there." She commands again.

"You're coming?" I ask in surprise feeling a new round of tears at the new threat I hadn't thought about. Them forcing me to miscarry is the easiest solution to all this outside of forced termination. A far more sinister and clandestine one if they use a doctor loyal to Ulric, who comes in the form of help. No one would ever suspect not knowing this man was actually one of Ulric's people. They may not have initiated it, but wouldn't hesitate to seize the opportunity.

"I'm already on my way." Casey informs me. "I was about to land in Stockholm but am now headed that way. Tell Maria to call him back and tell him you are fine and do not need to be seen. I'll bring someone I know we can trust."

"Okay," I answer her and then she's gone. Just like that. "She said to-"

"I heard." Maria answers with a curt nod of her head and pats my hand. "I'll be right back." She squeezes my hand and then is gone in the next moment out the door to make the call.

"Oh please, little one." I beg and pray running my hand over my belly feeling another cramp with the new stress. "Don't give up on me now." I've become so attached the thought of losing her now terrifies me. Not when I finally have hope of keeping her. Why can't anything just go right for once in my life? I cry wondering why my life seems to be a constant state of misery and fear with just the right amount of happiness to give me hope and keep me going. "Please God," I beg in a whisper, "Don't take her, too."

Maria returns after several long minutes and resumes her seat beside me once more. "How are you feeling now? Still cramping?" She asks with deep concern.

"Yes." I nod softly, "Still cramping and I think I'm bleeding again."

"I hope she gets here soon." She says quietly, taking my hand thinking of Casey who said she would bring a doctor we can trust.

"She should be here in 10-15 if she's flying in from Stockholm." I take a deep breath. "Not long. Any minute I'd imagine." I smile, "She's pretty expedient when she's set her mind to something." Maria flashes a nervous smile at me, and shifts on the bed. She's actually nervous. This is the first time I'm seeing her nervous and I realize it's because Casey is coming here, fully conscious and of her own free will this time.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" I ask quietly, squeezing her hand this time. "With her here?"

Maria flashes a small smile and takes a deep breath, "Me? Of course, I just don't want to say or do the wrong thing that will push her further away."

"You won't." I try to reassure her. "Remember she's just as nervous around you, as you are of her."

"She's nervous around me?" She's astonished to hear such a thing.

"Yes." I nod softly admitting this. "She's afraid to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?" She asks aghast and confused. "How?"

"That she's not the person you expect her to be. That when you finally get to know her, you won't like what you see." I've kept my silence on this long enough and I hope my revealing this helps shrink the distance if Maria knows exactly what Casey thinks and why she's so distant. Maria looks shaken with what I'm saying. "She's afraid when you look at her, you only see Ulric's betrayal." I add quietly.

"I don't." She whispers shaking her head softly. "I don't at all."

"I know." I squeeze her hand supportively, "But she doesn't know that or at least, believe that."

"Have I given her that impression?"

"No. It's just a fear she has. I think Anni's refusal to accept her, Cassiopeia, and her adamancy about believing her sister, Alexandra, died at birth has just compounded the issue for her. If Annika wants to see her as two separate people, that maybe you will too and be disappointed she's not the daughter you'd dreamed she'd be."

"That's ridiculous."

"Not to her." I swallow the lump in my throat. "You have to remember, she's had her entire life to know who you were. To wonder about you and think up all these things about what knowing you'd be like. Believing you'd reject whom she really is once you got to know her. It's easier to stay away from you when she believes you won't accept her. I understand that fear and logic now. I did it with Henry. I stayed away the last six months, telling myself I didn't love him because we could never be together. And I've done it for the last month with this baby, trying to resolve myself to the fact I could never keep her. Never have a relationship with her. Casey's done that for years in thinking about you. Just be patient. Give her time." I smile softly, "I had to wait 20 years before she finally let me in."

Maria inhales a soft cry and laugh through glassy eyes, shaking her head, "I hope I don't have to wait 20 years."

"You won't." I smile having a feeling. "I'll keep working on her."

"Wear her down?" She asks smiling.

"Yes, if I have to." I exhale slowly feeling another cramp and the baby kicking wildly. "Please, settle down baby girl." I beg feeling her rolling around and another trickle of blood escaping my body with a cramp. "My whole stomach is quivering now." My hand lying on top of my belly is even moving.

"May I?" She asks hesitantly about touching me.

"Of course." I nod feeling afraid with what's happening.

She gently reaches out and places her hands on my belly and feels the quiver firsthand. She also feels the baby moving and kicking and smiles with new tears in her eyes both of joy and fear.

"She's very active." She smiles and then feels the hard cramp and quiver again. "I think you're having contractions." Her face loses the smile instantly.

We hear a soft knock on the door. "You may enter." Maria calls out without removing her hands from my belly or her focus on where she's looking at me.

Tomas enters the room first, carrying a duffle bag and Casey just behind him. "General Hendrix, ma'am." He announces her arrival nervously. I think it still freaks him out how much they look alike and the mystery surrounding her.

Maria finally turns around and comes face to face with Casey for the first time in over a year and a half. "Thank you, Tomas." She gasps quietly at first sight looking at Casey while Tomas sets Casey's bag down next to mine.

"My Lady." He gives a polite bow of his head and departs.

"Casey." Maria smiles at her softly in acknowledgement. She still has tears in her eyes from feeling the baby move but I see a new round fill her eyes in looking at Casey. Seeing her so beautiful, strong, and full of life once more. Casey has come back in better shape than ever and her once shaved head now sports long beautiful blonde hair again. Not as long as it was before but still past her shoulders. She's perfectly healthy and most importantly, alive. "You look well." Maria adds quietly. "Just beautiful." A single tear slips down her cheek and she quickly looks away, back towards me to try and hide it knowing how Casey feels about tears, especially for her. She wipes it away quickly and replaces her hand on my belly. "I think Julia is having contractions." She announces, getting right down to business.

Casey moves from her temporary paralysis in seeing Maria again and is at the bedside at an instant with Maria's words. Her hands go to my belly along side Maria's feeling and seeing the quiver and clenching while I grit my teeth. The sight of both their hands on my little belly, with both brows narrowed in the exact same fashion and looking so much alike is filling me with joy and hope while simultaneously feeling scared to death about what's happening with my baby.

"Are you still bleeding?" Casey asks concerned with what she's feeling as well.

"Yes." I nod softly against my pillow. "Not very much. But I can still feel it with every cramp or time she kicks me."

"She has to stop kicking then." She says. I can't help but smile with a soft laugh in this very scary situation.

"You order her stop then, General." I smile and even Maria can't help but smile. She hasn't removed her hand from my belly either, and I have a feeling it's because her hand is actually touching Casey's. It's as close as Casey's ever allowed her to be while conscious. She's too focused on me to be wary of Maria.

"I will." Casey barks back with a hint of a smile in her eyes. Maria's eyes seem to light up at seeing just the tiniest bit of a smile on her face for the first time and does her best not to react.

"The doctor should be here any minute. I told him to meet us here." Casey pulls away and sits in the chair beside the bed, back to business again. Her eyes widen when she sees the photos beside the bed. The one of us sleeping has her full attention.

"When did you take this?" She asks quietly picking up the photo like it's an explosive.

"While you were sleeping." Maria smirks through teary eyes she's blinking back.

"Obviously." Casey fires right back in the same sarcasm. "When?"

"The first day you slept in this bed." Maria gets more serious with a far off look in her eye, her thumb brushes nervously over my belly. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see the two of you again after that weekend. I wanted to have at least one photo." She adds quietly. My heart breaks a little more in hearing this was the reason for the photo. Casey slowly sets the photo down and picks up the one of us with Alexei behind it. I know she's just as surprised to see this one here.

"Freya sent it." I inform her as to how it ended up here.

"She is quite sneaky." Casey says quietly setting the photo back down. Her thumb brushes gently over Alexei's face and I can see and feel the flash of emotion run across her face. She misses him. It's been too long.

"I think its safe to say that runs in the family." I smile thinking about three generations of women who were all spies. "When was the last time you saw him?" I brave asking this very private question in front of Maria but am trying to open the door more for the two of them.

"Too long." She answers quietly still staring at his face. Something dawns on me in this moment. She was on her way back to Stockholm yesterday for her one weekend off when she ended up flying Nyah and I from Paris to England. And she was on her way back there now when she diverted to come here.

"I'm sorry." I sigh deeply shaking my head. "You were supposed to see him yesterday and today. Weren't you?" I don't even give her time to answer, I know it's the truth by the way she's now avoiding eye contact with me. "Your one weekend with him the entire month and you're here with me. I'm sorry, Casey."

"Stop." She commands quietly. "I'm where I need to be."

"You don't have to stay. You still have all of tomorrow to see him. You should go." I feel terrible now.

"I'll take care of her. Promise." Maria supports me in my pushing.

"Julia, I'm not leaving until I know you're okay. This is not open for discussion." Casey responds with that tone that says her mind is made up and that's that.

Another contraction hits me and I grit my teeth, rolling over onto my side and turning my face into the pillow, clenching it tightly with my free hand to keep from screaming. This one hurts badly, especially in my lower right back. My other hand goes there immediately trying to rub out the pain.

"Here?" Maria asks taking over the rubbing for me and I can only nod yes when she hits the right spot and I try to breathe through it.

Casey gets up immediately and starts pacing. She doesn't do well with sitting still at times like these. "Where is that damn doctor?" She exhales with arms crossed, agitated she can't do something more. "I'm going to wait for him outside." She announces quickly and is out the door.

"That poor man better hope he's downstairs by the time she gets there." I breathe through clenched teeth feeling the contraction pass, trying to make light of this terrifying time.

"She looks incredible." Maria speaks quietly, still rubbing the tense spot on my back in obvious wonder. "You'd never know what she went through looking at her now."

"No," I shake my head softly agreeing with her, "She's back and better than ever, except for the fact she's now insulin dependent."

"She's what?" Maria asks immediately concerned and alarmed and I realize I've never revealed that.

"Her pancreas was too damaged. It never recovered." I inform her quietly. "She takes injections daily now. A real pain in the ass when she's in the field."

"Then why is she still in the field?" Maria asks angrily. "That's incredibly dangerous. What happens if she misses a dose or can't get to her insulin?"

"I don't think they care about that. Only that she's back to work." I answer her honestly. "She's far too young and valuable to sideline." I take another deep breath. "I've taken on a lot of the longer term missions she'd used to go on and so has Nyah. She's still in the field but for shorter missions than she used to be. And any time Nyah or I am with her on a mission, we secretly carry extra insulin, syringes, and Jolly Ranchers just in case she needs them." Seeing the odd look on her face, I realize I need to explain this North American candy, "It's a hard candy Nyah and I are always sucking on during flights to keep our ears from popping. Anytime Casey's looking a bit slow or jittery we offer her a piece of the candy as though it's a courtesy because we're having one too. Either she hasn't caught on yet, or she's choosing to ignore our secret plan."

"Why secretly?" She asks.

"Because she'd see it as a sign of weakness if she knew we were that worried about her." I inhale deeply and let it out. "We don't want to remind her of what she's been through any more than we must."

"She's lucky to have you." Maria smiles softly to hear we're taking care of Casey even when she doesn't know it.

"I'm lucky to have her." I clench my pillow feeling another contraction coming.

"I've very glad you have each other." Maria starts massaging the spot again in my lower back with new tears in her eyes.

"Did you notice?" I ask through clenched teeth trying to distract myself with this conversation.

"Notice what?" She asks. "The tiniest of smiles? Yes, I saw it." She smiles happily.

"Yes, that too. But did you notice that I'm not calling you, ma'am in front of her and she hasn't noticed at all? Or that she hasn't called you ma'am when speaking either?" I smile slyly through my clenching teeth.

"I didn't. But now I do!" She whispers happily.

"I told you. Patience." I reach out and squeeze her free hand.

Casey appears with the doctor in tow moments later. He's a sweet looking very elderly man with soft white hair and bushy eyebrows but his smile is warm and puts me at ease the moment he looks down at me.

"I heard you're having some trouble?" He asks and takes hold of my hand, giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

"Yes, sir." I nod and roll over again so that he can examine my belly. His soft hands feel and press around; taking note of the bandage from the amniocentesis and removes it.

Carefully, his fingers push along the needle mark and then reapplies the bandage.

"I'll need to examine you to check your cervix." He reaches for his medical bag and I push the blanket off of me and Maria stands, still holding my hand. I'm wearing only a nightshirt with a bath towel spread beneath me. A very red stain of blood the size of a basketball has spread over the towel and I can see the immediate concern on both the doctor's and Casey's faces.

"How far apart are your contractions?" He asks slowly while putting on rubber gloves.

"About every 2-3 minutes." Maria answers for me having been keeping track. He's silent as he begins the exam and I grit my teeth feeling his probing fingers on tender tissue.

"You're definitely in preterm labor." He says calmly and my heart starts racing. "Your cervix has opened about a centimeter. The good news is your water hasn't broken and your mucus plug is still intact, just shifted a little." He gives me a small smile removing his hand and pulling off his gloves. "I'll give you something now to hopefully stop the contractions."

He roots around in his bag and removes a bottle and a syringe, drawing it out quietly and then injects me. "Now we wait." He pats my hand. "Shouldn't be long before now if it's working." His hands go back to feeling my belly. "Does it hurt when I press?" He asks after pressing gently and then more firmly.

"Yes." I nod feeling the sharp pains.

"Hmm." He says and clearly is displeased with my answer. "How about cramping in your back? Have you felt any?"

"Yes." I nod.

"What does that mean?" Casey asks anxiously where she's standing on the other side of the bed.

"I'm afraid she may be experiencing the early signs of Placental Abruption." He says quietly pulling my nightshirt down for me.

"What's that?" I ask squeezing Maria's hand more tightly. Those big words scare me and I've never heard them before. I know what a placenta is and abruption but together, they sound terrifying.

"The placenta tears away from the inside of the uterus." He explains calmly and my heart drops into my stomach. "Have you had any of these symptoms before today?"

"No." I shake my head, "They just started today after the amniocentesis. The first hard cramp was this afternoon just after the test."

"When this afternoon?" Casey asks immediately with furrowed brows at just learning this detail.

"When Victoria asked to speak with Henry and I alone." I look at her. "I had a severe cramp that nearly brought me to my knees. I was okay after until I arrived here. Then it hit again with bleeding just as I was eating dinner."

"How do we stop this?" Casey asks with determination and clearly very upset, I can see it in her eyes, though her outward appearance is of calm and control.

"She needs bed rest for the next few days and we'll have to monitor her more closely." He gives me a soft encouraging smile seeing the fear on my face. "Don't worry, child. It's going to be okay." He pats my hand again, "Are you feeling less cramping now?"

"Yes." I'm hoping that's a good sign. "Less intense than before and less frequent."

"Good." He smiles, "That means the medicine is doing its job. I'll be back first thing in the morning to check on you unless you need me further this evening. In the meantime, I do not want you to leave this bed except to use the facilities."

"Okay." I agree immediately not willing to jeopardize my baby.

"If you keep bleeding or feel any more contractions, you need to call me immediately."

"Okay." I answer again swallowing the massive lump in my throat.

"Someone needs to stay with her at all times." He looks to both of the women in the room. "And check on her as she sleeps. Wake her every two hours to make sure she's still conscious and not bleeding again."

"I will." Casey doesn't hesitate.

"Okay then," He smiles back at me. "You rest now." He pats my hand again like an old grandfather.

"Thank you." I give him a small smile, "What is your name?" I ask realizing I don't even know who this man is.

"Dr. Olaf Pedersen." He smiles, "And you?"

"Julia Taylor." I smile giving him my real name. Something I rarely if ever do for doctors. If Casey trusts the man, so will I.

"A pleasure, Julia." He pats my hand again. "You can call me Dr. Olie." He smiles, "Rest. It will be okay."

"I'll show you out." Casey volunteers and I knows it's because she wants to talk to him about me on the way out.

When they're gone, Maria helps me to change the blood soaked towel beneath me and into a fresh nightshirt then takes her seat on the bed beside me again looking very concerned though she's trying to hide it. "Would you like me to call Mikael and tell him what's going on?" She offers.

"No, not yet." I reach for her hand again, rolling back onto my side. It feels better when I lie this way. "Just us for now, okay?" I swallow hard and she nods. I'd like to believe he wouldn't tell Ulric what's going on but I don't know for sure and can't take that chance with this baby right now.

We sit in silence for a long time while I concentrate on my breathing and feeling the spasm lessen. The baby has stopped moving around so much as well and I can only hope that's a sign she's calmer now that her home inside me isn't squeezing her out before she's ready and not something more sinister.

"Someday, I'd like one of you to stay in this room without one of you being ill or injured in this bed." Maria flashes a small smile at me through glassy eyes and I realize she's right. Every time we've been here, either Casey or myself has needed this room to recover.

"I was hoping to this time." I give her a small smile back. "Next time." I promise giving her hope for the future that I will come back again. "Where's Marna?" I ask after another minute of silence noticing her absence upon arrival but didn't have a moment to ask.

"She's staying with Anni tonight. Alexa has an ear infection and hasn't been sleeping through the night. Marna can't stand the thought of babies in pain." Maria smiles warmly, "She offered to stay with Annika to help through the night and give her a chance to rest." I can see her posture fall a little even though the smile remains. "Anni will always prefer the comfort of Marna when it comes to things like this and being ill. She was the one who was there for her most when Anni was little. I was in the field and working a great deal of the time until she was nearly six years old. Anni's never forgotten it or forgiven me, I think." She sighs with eyes flashing to the photo of Casey with Alexei and I. "I'm saddened to hear that history is repeating itself with Casey and Alexei."

"I imagine I will end up the same way." My heart feels heavy for them both and in thinking about what my future holds with this little one. At least I'll be there some of the time and she'll know I love her.

"I'm glad she has Freya." Maria ponders out loud.

"I think Freya is equally happy she has them." I squeeze her hand, "Have you spoken with her recently?"

"Yes." She smiles sadly, "Briefly. But it's still very awkward to speak with her. We're both nervous, I think. We never discuss Casey. I learned very quickly she's incredibly protective of her granddaughter's secrets." She smiles, "And I'm thankful for that."

"Why are you nervous?" I ask having an idea.

"I'm the product of rape. I wonder sometimes if the reason Freya never reached out to me before was because I remind her of that." She admits and this time, I catch Casey's eyes standing in the doorway. She's heard the last part of this conversation and is frozen where she stands. I squeeze Maria's hand alerting her to the fact we have company. This time, Casey has managed to sneak up on her. A testament to how lost in thought Maria must have been.

"Casey," Maria acknowledges her and then quickly moves the topic along, "What did Dr. Pedersen say?"

Casey snaps out of her thoughts and walks further into the room. She stops in front of the fireplace, holding onto the back of a chair putting physical distance between us and I know it's because she's compartmentalizing something even as she speaks. "He'll be back in the morning." She speaks slowly. "He said it's a good sign the cramps have stopped and so has the bleeding. She just needs to remain stress free and rest for a couple of days."

"I should have installed a TV up there." Maria nods with a soft smile nodding towards the mantle of the fireplace. "Give you something to do. I can have someone come tomorrow and do that if you'd like."

"No, it's okay." I shake my head with a smile at her offer. "I'm already enough trouble."

"You're no trouble and neither is installing a TV if you'd like."

"I'm fine. Really." I smile at her persistence. Casey has just now looked at the mantle in our conversation and taken note of the framed photos there. She's staring mesmerized at them and I can see her walls are slipping as she reaches out to touch one. It's the photo of her and I at the pool when I was seven. The same summer she threw me off the platform trying to teach me to dive. I'm standing in my light blue suit with her gold star constellation branding my torso in a matching swim cap and goggles dangling from my fingers. She's standing behind me and off to the side with one hand on my shoulder. Her perfect beautiful self, wearing those same dark golden aviator glasses I am so familiar with. Casey picks it up and holds it carefully in her hands and then looks at all the rest.

"Where did you get these?" She finally turns her face towards us, speaking in a low voice full of held back emotion.

"I gave them to her." I speak up quietly, "When we thought you died. I gave them to her."

Casey's eyes flash with emotion and turns away. I know she's trying to hold back whatever emotions she's feeling right now and from the vibe I get rolling off her, she's on the verge of tears. "Where did you get them?" She asks just as quietly.

"When we cleaned out my grandfather's house, he had a box of my mom's things in the attic. They were in the box." I smile thinking about that wonderful find not long after Casey was declared dead. "They were the photos you guys used to send home to my parents from camp each year to show them I was alive and having fun, I guess." I shrug at my best guess. They couldn't really tell them what they were doing to me or training me for. "There was an entire album from all my years there. The only photos of you that I had."

"You were so little." She nearly whispers looking at the photo in her hand. "It seems like yesterday. You grew up too fast." Her fingers brush lightly over my face as she sets the photo back on the mantle. I'm in awe listening to her and watching her remember and I think Maria is too. I don't want this moment to end so I think of something else to say.

"That's the day you taught me to dive from the platform. Do you remember?" I ask her quietly. Casey hugs her one arm over her body protectively and comes to sit beside me in the chair beside my bed. She's okay with sitting near Maria and I realize we're making progress and I want to keep it going.

"I remember." She nods. "I threw you in." A flash of a smile appears in her eyes again. "And then Nyah went first and took the leap."

"Yes." I smile that she does remember. Maria is silently intrigued hearing this story and I know she's craving these details of our previous life before her. "And then I followed."

"And then you went right past the small platform and dove off the tallest one." She shakes her head and I can't help but laugh softly.

"Yes. I wanted to show you I wasn't scared anymore." I smile speaking softly. My hand running soothing circles over my baby belly holding her gaze but I know she's listening. "That dive saved my life." Casey's eyes flash up to mine and narrow and then she remembers what I told her that night on Christmas Eve.

"Baghdad." She says quietly and I nod.

"What happened in Baghdad?" Maria prompts when we're both silent too long in our memories.

"The skyhook cable I was attached to was breaking. It wasn't going to hold both me and the cargo." I begin telling the story, "So I unhooked myself over the Euphrates River."

"More than 200 feet in the air." Casey adds quietly, her finger tracing her lips and I know she's thinking about that night.

Maria's eyes widen in horror as I continue, "I used the dive she taught me to break the surface."

"And broke your neck and back along the way." Casey adds not sounding happy about that to this day.

"But I was alive!" I remind her with a smile. "Damaged but alive."

"When was this?" Maria asks looking between us.

"December 1998." I answer quietly and see the wheels turning in her head.

"The Christmas Nyah was called away to join you on a mission?" She asks and I nod. It was very shortly after she learned of Casey's and my existence.

"We ate your delicious Christmas biscuits on the way home." I smile at her thinking of that wonderful memory. "They were and still are, terribly delicious."

"How badly were you hurt?" She asks warily that she never knew about this.

"Not that bad." I shrug. In comparison to the torture I've now endured, nothing seems that bad anymore. Perspective. "A few broken bones." My hand reaches out to rub over the scars on my arm from that incident and the following surgery.

"How many?" She asks persistently looking at the obvious surgical scars.

"I don't remember anymore." I shake my head, honestly not remembering.

"Six stress fractures in her spine. A skull fracture. Shattered hands. Radius and ulna fractures of both arms with another hairline fracture of her humerus." Casey rattles off like a shopping list. Her voice is completely void of emotion but her eyes are intently fixed upon mine when I turn to look at her in surprise.

"I thought you didn't remember the injuries anymore?" I ask thinking of what she told me the same Christmas Eve.

"I don't remember my injuries anymore. I'll never forget any of yours." She speaks quietly and again, she's revealing exactly how much she does care about me. To never forget a single one of my injuries.

"At least I wasn't shot on that mission." I smile softly trying to ease her discomfort in recalling that night. "I am getting better. At not getting shot, I mean. Only once in the last year and a half. That's remarkable progress." I'm teasing her in a way I know she can't stand but it helps to ease the situation I'm in and the tension in this room.

"I don't think that's funny." Maria says looking quite perplexed.

"Me neither." Casey agrees with her. I almost want to shout that they've actually just agreed on something but I refrain, worrying if I point it out, they may retreat again.

"And where were you shot last? A year ago and a half ago?" Maria asks still worried about not knowing this information either. I know she's done the math and realized the time frame. It was when Casey was in the hospital recovering from starvation.

"January of last year." I answer with less of a smile seeing she's very worried about what I've kept from her. "It was nothing. Just a through and through in my upper thigh."

"What were you doing?" She asks quietly.

"Hunting bad guys." I answer with a soft smile and a shrug. I'm trying to downplay this but I don't think she's buying it. "I got caught by one of their ricochets."

"Where?" She asks intently not about to drop this.

"Novgorod." I answer quietly.

Her eyes widen instantly and then narrow. "You went back to Russia? After you left here that night?"

"Yes." I admit quietly hearing her tone. She sounds a lot like Cassiopeia The General right now.

"Why in God's name would you go back there after what they did to her?" She's very upset now. "They were already hunting you for setting her free!"

"Because the best defense is a good offense." I relay my training and it seems to infuriate her further. That logic may make sense to Maria the spy but not to Maria the mother. "And they haven't been a problem since I cleaned house for Marie." I offer trying to make this sound like it was a very good thing. "The only two people who had anything to do with what happened to Casey left alive are Ulric and Pavlov and that's only because they were off limits to me or I would have killed them. I eliminated the rest." My eyes flash to Casey's. She doesn't like this conversation at all. Somehow we've veered off happy memories to this and I need to change tactics quickly. "I'm fine. Really. One little bullet wound versus 103 kills is very good odds. I had an excellent teacher, I promise." I smile at Casey trying to lighten this mood. "The last time I was even injured at all was a tiny little knife wound on my side in December of last year, which ironically led me to my current state." I motion towards my belly. "Who knew that tiny blade graze would lead to this?"

"I think there was a bit more involved than the knife." Casey speaks and this time I smile with her sly little funny she's just made there.

"Yes. Henry and I may have had something to do with it as well." I smile softly running my hand over my belly and the smile slowly fades as I think about him and wonder what he's doing and what he's thinking right now. "I want him here with me." I admit softly after several long moments of silence. "It's funny how quickly your life can change. I woke up this morning getting proposed to by one man and am ending the day getting married to another. I've lost the man I love, but get to keep my child. So long as she stays put." I sigh deeply, running my hand nervously over my belly. "I haven't felt this emotionally wrung out in a long time." I confess quietly, "Not since the day you died." My eyes land on Casey. "I solved the problem of feeling too much that day by drinking a bottle of tequila and passing out. I didn't have to feel anything after that. I can't exactly do that now." My thumb nervously grazes over my belly. "I haven't felt her move in a long time. She's never this still." I'm worried. Very worried about what this means.

Casey leans forward immediately and places her hand on my belly next to mine. I can see the concern on her face as well. She taps lightly on my belly with two fingers. She does it repeatedly in a pattern and then I feel it, the one two punch of two little feet kicking exactly where she taps. She taps again and again the same response. "I think she was sleeping." She palms the area where the baby was kicking feeling her moving now beneath her hand. "She's had a big day."

"How did you know how to do that?" I ask bewildered and feeling more at ease now that I've felt my baby's strong little kick again.

"Alexei would sleep often when I was on mission and moving around a lot during this part of my pregnancy. Whenever he was quiet for too long, I'd get worried, too. One night I started tapping until he moved or kicked me. I did it often after that to keep checking that he was all right." She pulls her hand away from my belly and sits back again.

Maria and I are both looking at her in amazement. She's a wealth of new information lately and reveals with little insights into her own personal life she normally keeps so private. I can tell how much all these little things mean to Maria, too. I see the glimmers of tears flushing her eyes but she does a fantastic job of holding them in, knowing it would break the moment with Casey.

"You were the same way." Maria takes the plunge and speaks directly to Casey, reminding her that she is her mother and carried her inside her body just as we're discussing now. "I worried constantly whenever you or Anni would stop moving and kicking. I think it's a mother's natural instinct to do so. Eventually, I learned that when I was moving around during the day, I was essentially rocking you to sleep inside of me. At night when I was still and it was quiet, you were both wide-awake and very active. You were always kicking my ribs and Anni was always the one bouncing off my bladder." She smiles warmly at the obviously fond memory.

The last time Maria relayed a memory of being pregnant with Casey was the night of her 31st Birthday and the big reveal. Casey had shutdown that night with absolutely no reaction at all. And in learning after the fact, she'd just given birth to Alexei and had him taken away the month before, it made sense. When I look at her now, she's not shutdown but looking at Maria in a way I've never seen before. I think another connection has been made in being able to relate her own experiences in being a mother now to what Maria is telling her having gone through the same experiences.

"I'm glad I have the both of you to tell me these things are normal." I break the silence before it drags on to long, "I'd be lost without you in knowing what is normal for a pregnancy and what isn't." I smile at them both softly in appreciation.

Maria reaches for my hand again and gives a supportive squeeze with a smile. "How are you feeling now?" She asks quietly. It's clear she's moved by the progress she's making on all fronts this evening with both Casey and I including her instead of trying to make obvious attempts to put up a barrier and push her away.

"Better. A little lightheaded if I'm honest. But better. The cramping has stopped and so has the bleeding."

"Did you eat dinner?" Casey asks with immediate concern.

"Yes. I ate dinner."

"She ate about six bites before the cramping started." Maria counters that I didn't actually finish my meal.

"So you didn't eat." Casey narrows her eyes immediately.

"Did you?" I counter knowing she hasn't. She was on her way to Stockholm, likely to eat with her husband and child, when I diverted her here.

"No. I haven't." She answers honestly.

"I didn't think so." I counter seeing that spacey look in her eyes now if she's gone too long without food.

"Then that settles it. I'll be back with something for you both." Maria smiles at us both with renewed purpose. We're giving her the opportunity to take care of us both, and she's going to seize it. Anni might not let her take care of her when she's ill, but Casey and I seem to more than make up for it since meeting her with all our injuries and illnesses. It'd be funny if it weren't sad.

When she's gone, I look at Casey for a long moment afraid to ask what I'm desperate and dreading to know.

"How did it go with Lady Marie?" I ask quietly.

"We shouldn't discuss this right now." Casey shifts in her chair. "You need to rest and not be stressed."

"Well now I'm going to be really stressed thinking about why you won't tell me. So just tell me. Please?" I argue with her logic and beg feeling my heart increase in speed with her hesitance.

"She agreed with certain conditions." Casey shifts again, obviously uncomfortable with the subject.

"Such as?" I ask afraid of the answer.

"You're not to be married until after the baby is born, for one. She wants there to be a very large wedding celebration and in order to do that properly, it will take a long time to plan and she doesn't want you pregnant saying I Do." She relays what has been discussed but now I'm only more concerned.

"But how will I be afforded the protection of heir status when she's born? If I'm not married by then?" I ask holding onto my belly again.

"Ulric agreed not to seize the baby at birth as Council Property in order to accommodate this wedding she wants to have. Mikael will still claim this child now to his friends and family and you will be engaged as soon as possible. A rather large engagement party is being planned for just after her birth in October during the beginning of the Social Season with a summer wedding to follow." Casey speaks slowly giving me time mull over everything trying to absorb what she's said. "She's also insistent that you have another baby with Mikael within a year of the wedding date. And that after you're married, you cease all contact with Henry unless during the Social Season or with Mikael in attendance." She adds the last quietly. "But in an ironic twist, she's agreed with Victoria's request to allow Henry to be this child's Godfather, to give him access without the media looking into it any further than they should, should they ever see him spending time with her. He'll also be the Godfather of all your children with Mikael you have in the future for the same reason, to keep the media from asking too many questions about her specifically. It makes sense given he's Mikael's best friend."

I'm quite sure I've stopped breathing by the time she's finished and don't realize I'm even crying until I feel the tears rolling over my nose forming a wet spot beneath my cheek on the pillow. We're not allowed to be married or have contact without Mikael's presence, yet he's going to be the Godfather to all my children. Which means we're going to be around each other quite a bit.

"Marie's also demanded that you be taken out of the field immediately and assigned desk duty until after the baby is born. She also wants you and Mikael to begin living together again immediately, and be seen together as much as possible in their social world so that everyone gets used to the idea of you and the shock of your pregnancy dissipates with time." She finishes and goes quiet.

"Anything else?" I ask quietly with raining tears still falling silently.

"No." She shakes her head softly. Silence falls over the room once more as I think about all she's said.

"You should go home to your baby and Ares. I'll be fine." I speak quietly after a long moment thinking about everything. "Julia," She sighs and shifts in her seat with quiet exasperation, "I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here with you."

"You have limited time with them as is and as you told me last summer, seize the happiness when you have the chance." I argue quietly with her. "Go. I'll be okay. Seize your happiness." I smile softly at her shifting in the bed and blinking back my tears.

"Who says that is not what I'm doing now?" She raises her eyebrows tracing her lips again and then flashes a soft smile at me seeing my reaction. "I rarely see you these days either. The fact that you're now very visibly pregnant and I didn't have any idea until yesterday is a testament to that fact."

"Yes, well in all fairness, I only realized it myself a month ago." I take a deep breath, holding my little belly.

"Why did you wait a month to tell me?" She asks quietly and I've been wondering if we were going to come back to this topic.

"I was in shock." I admit averting my eyes to the photo of us on the nightstand sleeping side by side in this very bed that night and a flash of that conversation we had then runs through my mind. You're not just the epitome of his life's work, you're the epitome of mine. "And I didn't want to disappoint you." I add quietly.

"You've never disappointed me, Julia. Never." She leans forward resting her elbows on her knees, face not far from my own and speaks quietly. "Why did you think I'd be disappointed?"

"Because you tried to warn me that night in Rio. During our conversation giving Alexei a bath." I shake my head feeling more tears coming. It's harder to contain them when I'm so emotional and hormonal being pregnant. "You tried to warn me so many times over the years about relationships with the heirs. First Mikael and then Henry. I feel like I failed you and everything you've taught me; that I should be better than this. To get myself into such a situation."

"You cannot help who you fall in love with." She whispers back to me, reaching out and wiping the new tears rolling down my cheeks, then pulls back quickly.

"But you've taught me better." I argue quietly. "I am sorry, Casey. And I'm sorry for what Ulric said today in his office." I bring up something I didn't want to then and cause more issues but I want to address it now. Her eyebrows narrow momentarily in confusion and then I see it, the moment of recognition. I need to speak quickly before she dismisses it. "He said it as an insult, but I'm proud to be exactly like you."

"Julia," She sighs deeply shaking her head, "You don't want to be exactly like me. I've made so many mistakes."

"So have I." I argue with her, "Mistakes make you human. And I still want to be just like you." I smile at her refusing to back down with this, even if it makes her uncomfortable. "You're the strongest, bravest, most courageous, loyal, and resilient person I've ever known in all my life. You give me hope of surviving this crazy life." I reach out and take hold of her hand, braving this very forward contact in the light of day and squeeze her fingers just needing the contact. "I look up to you as both my General and my sister, and I'm grateful for both." I smile at her, squeezing once more and pull my hand back to tuck beneath my face again. "Thank you for everything you've done in the last 24 hours to help me with this. And for everything you've done for the last 20 years." I pause for a moment hesitant about what I'm about to say, but if the last 24 hours have taught me anything, it's to remind me to say the things you mean while you still have the chance. "I love you, Casey." I speak quietly and smile watching her sharp intake of breath and hard blinking trying to cover her emotions. "I love you very much." I repeat while she's stunned silent. I don't expect her to respond and am actually grateful when Maria arrives just in time to save her from a response.

"Okay," Maria smiles carrying in a large tray with two covered plates, and two glasses of water with silverware and napkins. "Dinner is served." She sets the tray on the bed beside me. "Casey," She hands the first plate to her with a soft smile, "And Julia, how would you like to do this?" She asks looking at where I'm still lying down.

"Maybe prop me up a little?" I ponder out loud wondering the same. Casey immediately sets her plate on the nightstand and helps me to sit forward while Maria stacks more pillows behind me. "Thank you." The pillows help me to at least eat at somewhat of an angle instead of lying flat.

"Most welcome." Maria smiles at me, rearranging the tray to fit over my body in front of me. "Is there anything else I can get for the two of you?" Taking care of us definitely makes her happy, the sparkle in her eyes and smile is unmistakable.

"No, this is perfect. Thank you." I nod removing the lid to my plate revealing a fresh version of whatever that wonderfully delicious dish I was eating before all this began.

"Thank you." Casey nods at her and then bites her lip momentarily before standing. She's nervous about something. I'm not sure if its what I told her before Maria arrived or something else and then it dawns on me watching her walk to her bag. She has to test, and in front of us. Maria and I exchange glances and she remembers what I told her earlier, about not bringing attention to it as a reminder for Casey, so instead, she brings up something else to talk about while Casey stands at the foot of the bed testing her blood glucose in her little meter as though we don't see a thing.

"How are you feeling now, Julia?" Maria asks quietly from where she sits. "Any more cramping?"

"No, it's much better now." I answer her hesitating to begin eating but also knowing if I don't, Casey will be upset that I'm waiting for her. "Whatever was in the shot seems to be doing the trick." I smile softly at her and take a bite. We're both trying very hard to ignore what Casey is doing but it's nearly impossible. My mouth goes a little dry watching her lift her dress shirt and slide the needle of her insulin injection into her abs. As soon as she's finished, she caps the needle and tosses the syringe back into her bag, zipping it up with a little extra force. I know she's annoyed. She resumes her seat in the chair next to me by the bed but doesn't reach for her food plate on the nightstand. Instead, she runs her finger over her lips again watching me. It's greatly unnerving and so I stop eating. "Why aren't you eating?" I ask looking at her and wondering what she's doing.

"I switched insulin. I can't eat for at least another 10 minutes." She answers in monotone, pausing only briefly in her lip tracing to answer. "Keep eating." She motions for me to continue in that tone of hers that says no argument.

"It will be cold by then." Maria reaches for her plate leaning over Casey's legs and body slight to get it, "I'll reheat it for you."

"No," Casey reaches out and covers Maria's hand with her own stopping her movements. It's the first initiated contact between the two from Casey and we all freeze. "It's okay. Thank you." She continues quietly but doesn't remove her hand right away, much to my surprise and Maria's.

"All right." Maria answers with a quiet smile, relishing in the small contact. I can see her heart start pounding harder through her pulse point in her neck and her breathing rate increases. Casey pulls her hand away and so Maria does as well from the dish. "I need to take a shower and wash this garden dirt away." Maria motions towards her self with a smile and I can't help but do the same looking at her with small dirt smudges still on her cheek. "So I'll leave the two of you to eat while I'm doing that and then I shall return with something for us to keep you occupied with Julia." She smiles patting my legs covered by the blanket.

"Like what?" I ask smiling at her seeing how happy she is in this moment after that brief moment of contact with Casey and now looking at the pair of us before her once more.

"A surprise." She winks at me for the first time with a small laugh and jumps up from the bed.

"A surprise." I repeat quietly swaying my head as I stab another bite on my plate once she's gone. "I could use a good distraction." I mumble to myself, "Focus on the good, Julia. Focus on the good." Giving myself a pep talk, or trying to at least when I feel the tears welling again thinking about all that has happened to day. Flashes of Henry's beautiful smiling face flash before my eyes and then his horror and defeat when it was decided I'd marry Mikael instead. "Think happy thoughts." I whisper taking a deep breath trying to calm myself, blinking back my tears and then take another bite of food. It feels ridiculous to cry over this outcome when I know it could have been much worse. They could have decided to take her away at birth and put her in the program. They could have terminated her. I get to keep my baby, this is a very good outcome and I need to focus on that but I'm struggling.

We finish eating in silence and when she's finished, puts her plate back on the tray and moves the tray to the coffee table near the fireplace.

"All I want to do right now is run or take a bath and submerge myself." It's a quiet admission of my failure to follow my own advice and think happy thoughts.

"You cannot do either." Casey speaks quietly undressing at the foot of the bed to change into her own pajamas. "I know but I need to compartmentalize all of this before I freak out." I wipe at the tears falling from my eyes again. It's all too overwhelming when left in silence too long. "Tell me something."

"Tell you what?" She asks confused.

"Anything. Please?" I struggle a little to remove some pillows so I can lie down again. "The silence is killing me. Talking keeps me distracted."

"I don't know what to tell you." She finishes changing and lies down in the bed beside me.

"Okay, then in an effort to learn more about each other, how about I ask a question and we both answer it." The photos of us through the ages in this room has inspired me to know more about our mutual past. "Do you have a favorite memory with me in it?" I ignore my tears running down my face in silence.

"Several." She answers quietly staring at the ceiling, she's nervous about answer these questions, I know. I can feel it rolling off her in waves. Opening up like this is still new and frightening for her.

"So do I. Have several with you, I mean." I smile at her using the back of my hand to wipe my tear trails when they start dripping from my chin.

"Such as?" She asks shifting the question back to me.

"No, you first." I shake my head at her attempt to dodge the question.

"I honestly can't choose just one." She shakes her head. "Twenty years is a long time and a lot of memories, Julia. I could go back as far as the day you were born. Holding you for the first time and rocking you all night long." She reveals quietly. "That's one of your favorite memories?" I ask a bit surprised not expecting her to say that at all. My hands rest on my belly and feel my own baby moving within, much happier it seems now that I've eaten and stopped contracting.

"Yes." She nods quietly staring at the ceiling again, "Your birth meant I wasn't alone anymore in our world. I had a sister." She adds quietly and more tears course down my cheeks in disbelief to hear her admit this. "I was so excited for your arrival. Once you were in my arms, staring up at me with those big dark eyes," She shakes her head, "Then I was scared."

"Why?" I ask breathless afraid to say anything and make her clam up when she's being so open and honest right now.

"Because you were real." She finally looks over at me. "So tiny and fragile; so innocent. I didn't know how I was going to protect you. Keep you safe from all of this. But I promised you that night, I would do my best to try." Her voice is quiet and she looks away again, "I've fallen in love with two people in my life at first sight." She rolls over on her side to look at me, "You were the first. Alexei was the second."

I can barely breathe staring into her big blue eyes with what she's just said, what she's just revealed. She may not be able to come right out and say I love you as I'd done before, but this is as close as she's ever gotten to actually saying it. To know that I was the first person she ever knew she loved the moment we met, is overwhelming. To know that now, and think about all that we've been through, all these years: the good, the bad, the hard and horrible, she loved me through them all and from the very beginning. I'm overwhelmed in a good way this time.

All I can do is smile at her right now and wipe the fat tears rolling from my cheeks, looking away because I know it makes her uncomfortable. It's why she has a difficult time maintaining eye contact with me seeing me cry.

"I felt that way about Alexei, too." I smile softly through my blurry eyes trying to ease the tension by shifting the focus onto her child. "Those big blue eyes, blonde hair, and dimples. I knew he was yours at first sight and he had my heart in that instant. I knew I'd do anything for him. Just like I would do anything for you."

"You have already done enough for me, Julia." She shakes her head.

"I could say the same for you." I argue back with a smile. "Every single memory I have with you and Alexei are my favorite memories. When I look at the two of you, everything is right with the world and the way it's supposed to be." My thumb caresses my own baby belly thinking about the hope it gives me in regards to having a normal life with my child when I think about Casey and Alexei. "And you say that my birthday, was one of the best memories you have; but it's your birthday that is one of the best for me and for the same reason. Finding out you were my sister on your birthday, here in this house, is definitely one of my best memories with you. I had a sister now and wasn't alone in our crazy world anymore." I swallow the lump in my throat trying desperately to keep my tears at bay.

"It was certainly a birthday to remember." She agrees quietly.

"What is your worst memory with me?" I ask shifting on my side trying to get comfortable. My lower back still aches. "I'm sure there are many. I was a major pain in your ass not so long ago if I remember the wording correctly?" I smile at her. "I am very sorry about that. For giving you such a hard time all those years."

"Yes, you were a pain in the ass." She agrees immediately and then a flash of a smile crosses her features before taking on a more serious tone. "But I wouldn't consider any of those to be worst memories with you. Exasperating, yes. But not worst."

"Then what is the worst if not my petulant horrible teenage years or rebellion?" I ask wondering what could possible be worse then those.

"Having to take you home to say goodbye to your mother." She answers me quietly and I'm stunned. It's a different kind of worst than I was expecting.

"Not only did I smash you in the head with a rock that day, I treated you terribly. Not my best at all. One of my biggest regrets. Definitely on my worst memory list." I think about that day and realize how awful it was all the way around. "Not a good day for either of us."

"It shouldn't be a regret. You did what I'd trained you to do." She argues quietly.

"Yes, but I didn't have to treat you so awfully after. I just hated you for taking me away from my mother that summer." I admit quietly. "I just wanted more time with her."

"I know." She rolls back to stare at the ceiling again. "I argued for you to stay with her. Ulric demanded that you attend camp." Casey reveals another astonishing fact I knew nothing about and hearing that she actually argued for me, to stay with my mother, only makes me feel more horrible for treating her so poorly.

"I'm sorry." I shake my head staring at her profile. So beautiful, healthy and most importantly, alive. I still can't get over that fact. "My worst memory with you, is finding that body in the grave…seeing the DNA come back as yours and realizing you were dead. Worst memory. Worst day of my life." My voice is quiet and new tears are glistening in my eyes remembering that horror. "Even worse than the day my mother died." I can see the surprise in her eyes and the glistening of her own tears forming in a very rare moment hearing me admit this. "To imagine the horror you endured and without being able to say goodbye, was…" I shake my head unable to even describe it, "Worst day of my life." I inhale a shaky breath and we both fall silent. I know it's not a day she wants to think about either so I switch to something more happy, "Best day of my life, was finding you alive in that cell." I smile at her, reaching out to squeeze her hand briefly and then let go.

"I would have thought your best day would be a day spent with Henry." She whispers quietly blinking back her tears but I see one escape and roll from her eye disappearing into her hair as she stares at the ceiling.

"No." I smile shaking my head softly feeling simultaneous stabs to my heart of both love and pain in thinking about him. "You were the first and only person I'd ever loved and lost who came back to me from the dead. Finding you alive, was the best day ever." She looks back at me with the same big blue eyes I saw looking back at me that day, so full of life now and healthy. "The relief when I first saw you was indescribable."

"That is how I felt looking down at you on the operating table in Kuwait, after you cut the cable in Iraq. Indescribable relief that you were still alive." Casey reveals still staring at the ceiling.

"What was your scariest memory with me?" I ask moving us along in this very enlightening conversation even though my exhaustion is settling in and I'm now struggling to keep my eyes open. Our best conversations so far have mostly taken place lying side by side in bed with one another and it makes me smile. This is exactly what I always envisioned doing with a sister and this is one dream that has come true.

"I don't like this question." Casey shakes her head.

"I don't either but it's about sharing things with each other that neither of us likes to think about. Bonding." I remind her with a smile of our conversation last summer in her house of recovery on Maria's estate.

"When they pulled you out of the van in that warehouse, black hood on your head and strung you up in front of us. Waiting for the inevitable I knew was coming." Her voice shakes a little as she speaks. "Everything about that day scares me." The day I was tortured was her scariest memory and I understand why. It's still a wonder for me to hear her admit to being afraid of anything.

"Mine is watching you have a seizure after we'd gotten you to the hospital in London. I was terrified I'd found you too late. Waited too long to bring you in and that I'd killed you by trying to help you." It's my turn to reveal my scariest memory of her speaking slowly trying not to fall asleep. "They made me leave the hospital before I knew you were going to make it. That was the last image I had of you in my mind until I saw you again on Marie's estate last summer. It took everything in me not to lunge at you at first sight and hug you." I smile at her as my eyes close, too tired to stay open anymore. "But I know you hate them so I refrained."

"I don't hate them." Casey counters quietly. It's the last thing I hear before I'm asleep.