A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! They're my Christmas presents, just so you know. :-) Thank you also to my wonderful beta reader, BK2U!

Chapter 14: Tris – Traditions

This will be the first Christmas Eve that Tris has spent away from her family, and the first one that Tobias has spent with anyone since Marcus. So, they're understandably both a bit nervous when she arrives, shaking the cold air off along with her coat.

"Hi," she greets him, standing on tiptoe to give him a kiss. "You look nice." She's always liked plaid flannel shirts on him.

"So do you." Amusement seeps into his tone as he gestures to her pink sweater with the knitted Christmas tree that covers the entire front of it. The cats are likely to go nuts over the little bells and bows that decorate the tree.

"My mom gave me this," she mutters, reddening a touch. "So, I'll need to wear it tomorrow, and I figured if I stay over…."

The words draw a smile from him. "You're always welcome to keep clothes here, you know. I can clear as much space as you want."

She smirks a little, remembering their conversation in Zeke and Shauna's bathroom. "You mean you'll give me another drawer?" He grins as his hands find her hips, pulling her close. "And maybe some hanging room?"

"Consider it done." He leans down to kiss her again, lingering longer this time, but they break apart before going too far down that road. There are other things they want to do first. "So, um, I did a lot of reading and thinking, and I picked some new 'traditions' we could try. If you're game?"

"Of course." She rests her hands on his chest for a moment longer. "And maybe we could incorporate some of what I've always done with my family on Christmas Eve?"

His expression grows serious. "Tris, we can still go over there if you want."

"No." She gives him another quick kiss. "Tonight is for us." It's what they worked out, after she realized how much he was dreading spending the holiday with her father. They'll only go to her parents' house for Christmas afternoon, and the rest of the time will be just for the two of them. "Caleb and Cara wanted to do their own thing tonight anyway, so it's better for everyone this way."

Tobias nods, still not entirely convinced, but she links her hand with his, squeezing firmly, as she adds, "What's first?"

The question restores his smile, and he leads her to the eating bar that serves as his only dining area. Magazines are spread across it, with scissors and glue sticks and a large piece of cardboard. It reminds Tris of school projects from years ago.

"I thought we could make a collage." He looks somewhat shy. "We would each find images that remind us of people we love, and share a story about why that is. And then glue them onto the board. Every year would be a different set of stories."

At first, Tris isn't sure about the idea, her eyebrows scrunched as she flips through the magazines. They cover a variety of topics – everything from the outdoors to celebrities – and it seems strange to use them instead of real photos. But the more she looks, the more she begins to see the potential in this idea. It inspires a different set of memories than photo albums do.

She smiles when she sees an elderly woman in the middle of a sky-dive, her arms and legs stretched wide and gray hair escaping from her helmet. "My grandmother Anna has always been brave," she comments. "I remember one time we were camping, years ago, and this huge dog wandered over from another campsite." She looks up, meeting Tobias' blue eyes. "I was just a little kid, and I ran away screaming, and of course that made the dog chase me." Her shoulders lift. "It probably thought I was playing a game or something, but I was terrified. And then Nana came charging to the rescue, screaming at the top of her lungs and flapping her arms like she was an ostrich or something." She laughs. "I have never seen an animal run away that fast. It did this whole terrified yelping thing and everything as it took off."

Tobias' low chuckle joins hers, but there's a reminiscent look in his eyes. "I remember Anna, from your sixteenth birthday party. Your parents were kind of awkward with me by then, after everything Marcus told them, but she was nice."

Tris' eyes light up even more. "I'd forgotten about that." Her fingers close on the scissors, beginning to cut the photo out. "She really liked you. She said you were cute."

Tobias grins. "So that's where you get your good taste."

"Well, we are a lot alike." Cocking her head, Tris decides to glue the picture on the right side of the piece of cardboard, feeling like it should be ready to fly off the edge, the way the image represents. "She'll be there tomorrow, by the way, along with my grandfather, Douglas. They decided to come to my mother's house this year, instead of my uncle's, so they could meet Cara."

A small smile plays across Tobias' lips at that news. "I'll see if I can win them over," he comments, looking pleased at the prospect of having more people there. Tris can't blame him – it will take the brunt off Andrew's presence.

They flip through more pages, a comfortable silence falling in between idle comments on funny images. It takes some time for them to find something else meaningful, but then Tobias stops, his expression wistful. Tris watches as his fingers trace a picture of a woman with dark hair, leaning over a stove.

"My mother made Christmas cookies one year. Marcus never allowed treats – he always said they were self-indulgent – but I guess she'd had enough of his rules that year, and she snuck in a batch while he was at work." His eyes are distant, lost in the memory. "It was freezing, but we opened the windows anyway to air the house out, so he wouldn't know. We each ate two, and then she put the rest in a bag and hid it in my room and told me I could have one every day until they were gone. It was almost like getting Christmas presents…."

It's the first time that Tris has heard him really talk about Evelyn, and she reaches out, setting her hand on his.

His eyes are glossy when he looks up. "I miss her."

The words tug Tris closer, and she wraps her arms around him, her throat tight. She can't imagine how hard it must have been for nine-year-old Tobias to lose his mother, and to be left alone with his monster of a father.

Tobias returns her embrace, his voice a rough whisper against her hair. "I spent so many years hating her that I forgot how much I loved her once. For a while, she was my world."

Turning her head toward him, Tris kisses the side of his face. "It's okay to include her today, you know. You can honor what she was, no matter what happened later."

"Yeah." Tobias inhales deeply before releasing Tris. He makes quick work of cutting out the image, gluing it in the top left corner of the page. "That's where my story started," he explains softly.

Slowly, they fill the page, honoring Tris' family and a large number of their friends. Tobias adds pictures for his cats, since they're the only creatures to live with him as an adult, and Tris throws in one for the dog she and Caleb hid in their basement for three days before their parents found it – and returned it to the frantic neighbors it really belonged to. They leave the center of the page empty, though, both knowing what should go there.

Tobias is the one who finds it – an understated image of the ocean, the grayish blue sky reflecting off the much deeper blue of the water. There are no people in it, but it's still them, and he holds the paper as she cuts it out, before they glue it in place together.

"You know you're my family, right?" he murmurs, his fingers pressing the picture into place.

"I do." She smooths the other edge of the image. "And you're mine, Tobias."

Those are the only words they need as they prop the collage against the wall at the end of the eating bar, stopping to gaze at it for a long moment. It's a good collection of memories for their first Christmas together.

Tris' initial contribution to the evening seems frivolous in comparison, but Tobias has no objection to continuing the Priors' annual fruitcake-launching contest.

"I actually like this stuff," he mutters as he pops a piece of it into his mouth before lining up his next shot. "I know you're not supposed to, but it's fruit and nuts and sugar – how can you go wrong?" He holds his selected bit in place with a fingertip so he can flick it with his other hand, sending it flying across the living room.

Tris leans in to give him a congratulatory kiss, since he just set the record for the evening. "I'll let you in on a dirty little secret," she whispers in a sultry voice. "I do, too." Tobias grins as she plucks another dried cherry from the mass on the table, flicking it forcefully. It goes off at the wrong angle, bouncing off the front door and then careening crazily along the floor. DC chases after it wildly.

"Are cats supposed to eat that?" Tobias asks uncertainly when the tabby finally catches it, holding it in place with his paws and crunching into it loudly. For a second, they exchange glances, and then they're both scrambling after the cats – and the assorted pieces of fruit and nuts that now litter the apartment. At best, they're a choking hazard, and at worst, potentially poisonous.

"I think we'd better save this game for my parents' house," Tris concludes once they're finally done cleaning up. Tobias mumbles his agreement, spinning a cat toy across the floor to mollify a very offended DC. "So, um, maybe we could try my second tradition instead?"

He eyes her briefly, as if debating how dangerous this one will prove to his pets, before saying, "Sure." His tone is dubious.

"It's easy – and safe," she reassures him, crossing the room to where her coat is hanging. "We basically just sit on the couch and watch old Christmas specials." Her shoulders lift apologetically as she pulls the DVD from her coat pocket. "I know it's totally unoriginal, but we've been doing it my whole life, so it wouldn't really feel like Christmas without that."

Tobias nods, an odd expression on his face as he rubs the back of his neck – his telltale sign of discomfort. "Well, for what it's worth, it will be new to me." When Tris' eyebrows rise, he adds, "That would be yet another thing that Marcus considered self-indulgent."

There's a long pause, during which Tris vividly imagines all of the things she'd like to do to her boyfriend's sorry excuse for a father. "You never watched them as an adult, either?" she finally asks. But she knows the answer even before he shakes his head. Who sits around watching holiday specials for the first time by themselves? It's not like they're fantastic pieces of art when they have no personal meaning.

"Okay, then," she eventually concludes, "I guess we have a lot of catching up to do."

And they try to do exactly that, snuggling together on the couch, petting the cats, as they watch Frosty and Rudolph and the Grinch. Tobias' expression ranges between wonder and amusement and other feelings that are harder to classify as he glances frequently between the television and Tris. He's obviously debating whether the terrible animation and trite storylines and sheer cheesiness of these shows are redeemed by how much his girlfriend loves them.

He finally seems to give up the battle when Hermey begins his dental work on the Abominable Snow Monster, chunky animation and absurd dialogue and all. "You realize this is awful, Tris."

"Yeah." She grins, snuggling deeper into his side. "But it's great, too."

A lazy smile forms across his face, and he pulls her closer, kissing the top of her head. "Yeah, maybe it is."

"It's a Wonderful Life" comes on next, giving Tobias a break from bad animation, and Tris watches even more avidly. This is one of her favorites, even if it leaves her a bit teary at the end. "This movie always makes me wonder," she tells him, wiping her cheeks as the ending credits roll. "I mean, we all like to think we're important, but how different would the world really be if I hadn't been born?"

Tobias pulls back enough to meet her gaze, his expression serious. "Tris, I don't think I would have made it without you." When her brows draw together, he adds, "Not to be overly dramatic or anything, but I was a mess as a teenager." He looks away, gesturing somewhat helplessly at the television. "I didn't have anything normal, and I was so hurt and angry and alone. And I didn't have any hope at all that things would improve. I couldn't even imagine it." His eyes are dark with emotion. "But you changed all that. Sometimes, I'm not entirely sure how you did it, but you did. You changed my life more than anyone else has ever done."

The comment seems to start a small flame in her, one that burns brighter the longer she considers it. Over the years, she has come up with a variety of little ways in which she's changed the world around her, but none of them seemed worthy of the movie they just watched. This one, though, is different. If she truly made that much of a difference in Tobias' life…that would be enough. That, by itself, would mean that her life has been worthwhile.

"The bigger question is what the world would be like without me," Tobias adds, his voice deep with doubt.

Tris can't stop the laugh that bursts forth at that. "Um, starting with the most obvious…Shauna would be dead without you. Which means that Zeke wouldn't be married to her, and they wouldn't be expecting a child." She raises a pointed eyebrow. "And who knows what the guilt would have done to Lynn."

Tobias shifts a little, uncomfortable as he always is with the topic of how he rescued Shauna, but Tris continues anyway. "And George is always talking about how many people you've helped in karate over the years, especially the ones who really need it." She debates adding more to that, but they both know she's talking about those in abusive situations. So, instead, she changes her focus. "And then, of course, there's me. My life would be very different if I hadn't met you."

"I'm not entirely sure that would be bad," Tobias admits, not meeting her eyes. When her mouth gapes open, he adds, "Can you honestly say that you wouldn't be better off if I hadn't broken your heart?"

For a moment, she's too stunned to respond. And then she speaks from a decade of struggle and experience and lessons learned. "Yes, I can. I used to think about that – a lot. For months – maybe years – after you left, I wished I'd never met you. If I could have scrubbed you out of my memory then, I would have." She sighs. "But in the long run, I changed my mind."

Her fingers play idly with his shirt as she tries to formulate her thoughts. "You gave me a comparison point. I knew what love really was because of you, and that meant that I didn't settle for something less. So, I didn't stay with Uriah, or Al, or anyone else I tried to love…but didn't." The side of her mouth tenses. "Without you, I'm pretty sure I'd be living a half-life now."

Tobias is silent for a long time, his gaze unfocused. "Do you think we would have made it," he finally asks, "if we'd stayed together? If I had never left?"

"I don't know." She looks up at him, contemplating that. "Part of me thinks we would have, but in some ways, I think we both needed the time apart, to grow. Even if a lot of it was painful." Her brows draw together as she nods thoughtfully. "I like where we ended up, Tobias."

His response is to wrap his arms tightly around her, resting his cheek on her temple. "I do, too."

Their attention is drawn by Charlie Brown, and for a few moments they watch the television, not really seeing it. "Come on," Tobias tells her, grabbing the remote and turning the set off. "There's one more tradition I'd like to try tonight."

She doesn't object as he leads her over to the small desk with his computer. "Pick a few songs," he says, pulling up a list of choices. "I want to dance with you."

A smile tugs at her mouth, memories of previous dances coming to mind. "Too bad I didn't bring my heels."

"Mmm." He makes no attempt to hide how much he likes the thought of her wearing those. "They do show your butt off perfectly." He gives a dramatic sigh. "But my feet probably wouldn't survive it, anyway, so we'll just have to deal with socks."

She laughs, choosing not to answer the barb as she picks out her songs and adds them to his existing list. Presumably, he selected some music earlier, too.

And then they're dancing through the living room and kitchen, chasing the cats out of the way as they waltz and sway and just generally enjoy the exercise. It's not until Tris' final choice – John Legend's "All of Me" song – comes on that they become more serious.

Tobias pulls her close then, pressing his face into her hair while their bodies move in sync, and Tris feels as if the words are coming directly from inside both of them. She's never been great with music, but she lets herself sing the lyrics now, her voice soft by Tobias' ear.

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

To her surprise, Tobias's deeper voice joins in, a perfect offset to the rich tones of the song.

Give your all to me

I'll give my all to you

You're my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I'm winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you….

Tobias pulls back very slightly, just enough to touch his forehead to hers, their breaths merging, so they're singing directly to each other. It somehow makes the moment even more intimate, sealing the promise they made earlier in the evening. They are each other's family.

"I love you, Tobias," she murmurs after the song ends, quiet settling back into the apartment.

"I love you, too," he answers, smiling as he always does on too. She knows that he loves being able to add that word.

They don't try any other traditions that day, too caught up in where their emotions take them instead, but that's more than fine. It leaves something new for next year.

A/N: Just in case anyone thought otherwise, I don't own John Legend's "All of Me" song any more than I own the "Divergent" characters. Darn.

I'm hoping to get the Christmas day chapter done before Christmas, but I can't say that the odds are great, so it will probably be posted sometime after that. In the meantime, I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter. Happy holidays to all of you!