Hey guys, the reviews were great last chapter, thank you so much! This Chapter is mostly JO AND KENDALL! GET EXCITED! Make sure you leave a review

!Kendall's Pov.

It was great to see Jo and hug her and know she was ok. She looked amazing, so mature and beautiful. When we hugged it felt good to hold her. I got set up in my room and changed.

We all then talked, eventually Katie left to see her boyfriend and my mom left on a call. So Jo and I talked for a while, it was a little uncomfortable me being gone so long, and we've grown apart which sucks, but with everything that happened to me while I was away its understandable for me.

Were all getting together to have dinner tomorrow. I wanna see everyone but nothing will be the same around them, I always have my guard up. Its pretty exhausting to put on a happy face and act like everything fine.

I went back to the house and watched T.V. with my mom for a while then decided to go to bed. At 2, 4 then 6 I woke up from nightmares, so at 6 I got up and went for a walk. I was just sitting on a park bench when someone called my name, it was Alexa Carlos's girlfriend walking her dog. We hugged and talked for a while. After I went back to the house and hung around.

I met Katie's boyfriend Derek, when I was walking back, it just made me mad so I shook his hand then walked inside. I went up to my room to think. Should I be here? Im physically suffering and I do't want anyone to know so I cover up my body and scare with clothes and act strong. Mentally my mind is all messed up with feelings and frustration. I get mad easy and can't control it, I feel like I could snap at any minute.

The people I love and care for are distant and we've grown apart. I don't know how to fix it and I can't do it here. It was around 3 when I heard a knock on my door, I opened it and was tackled by bear hugs from the guys, it hurt my still weak bones and mucle.

"Kendall, bro!" James said letting me go.

"How ya been brother, we've missed you tons, you scared the shit out of us to." Logan said laughing a little. Carlos looked like he was about to cry.

"You ok Carlos?" I said smiling at my little Latino friend.

"Yeah, its just so great to see you." he said giving me another hug.

My mom made steaks and we all sat down to eat. I was sitting next to James and Katie and was a cross from Jo.

Everyone told me about the wedding, it sounded like a blast. I told them a little bit about the guys on my Seal Team.

"What can you tell us about your missions?" Camille asked me. I thought for a second about my time in Russia,

"Umm...Nothing!" I said putting a piece of steak in my mouth, they all gave me a weird look.

"You can't or you don't want to?" Katie said, pissing my off.

"Both I guess, I'll be back!" I said getting up and walking into the kitchen.

A minute later Jo came in to check on me I guess, for some reason I just can't stay mad when shes around or at her, but im just so confused too.

Jo's Pov.

I got up to go check on Kendall and get some more water. I walked in and looked at his hands, they were all red, I guessed from squeezing the counter.

"You ok?" I asked him filling up my glass. He looked at me then his hands,

"Yeah sorry for that im just tired and... stuff." he said getting some potatoes and the we walked back to the table.

No ones Pov.

Everyone talked for a little while longer. Then Jo, Camille and the guys were going out but Kendall said he would rather stay home. They didn't want to leave him but he made them go.

Kendall and Katie hung out for a while, then they went to bed.

Kendall woke up again around 2:30 and decided to go out side because there's no point in going back to bed then waking up and hour later with nightmares.

Jo's Pov.

We had a fun night out bar hoping, but I wished I had stayed with Kendall. I was gonna saty over Camille's but I wanted to be in my own bed so I drove home. When I got home I went to let my dog out quietly,it was a beautiful bright night. When my dog came back we were just about to walk inside when I heard a cough. I looked over to the Knights house and saw someone sitting on one of the chairs in the back yard.

Guessing by size, it would be Kendall. I decided to see what he was doing up.

"Ken?" I said just loud enough for him to hear. He turned his head around and looked up at me.

"Oh, Hey Jo." he said as I went and sat in the chair next to him.

"Why are you up?" I asked him.

"I couldn't sleep." he said looking over to me.

"Are you okay Kendall? You don't seem thrilled to be home." I said a little annoyed.

"I am happy to see everyone and be away from any chance of going back to one of those hell holes. But im not the same anymore, im not even sure if I should be here." he said confusing me.

"Kendall you were gone for so long, you missed one of the biggest moments in your best friends life, hell you didn't even know they were getting married because for 10 months we didn't know where you were, if you were alive we didn't know anything. So its gonna take a little time to get back to normal and of course you should be here, you don't have anywhere else to go, these people here are your life." I said not being able to believe what he said.

"Things won't go back to the way they were. Im not ready to go back there, I need to get myself together, maybe take some time away.

"Kendall why would you do that?" I said even more frustrated.

"You don't understand Jo, everything's messed up in my head, im not stable. I need time away to get myself together." he said leaning back.

"What happened to make you like this, its like I don't even know you anymore!" I said standing up.

"You right you don't know me anymore Jo, im different. Stuff happened that you don't need to know. I just have to go, im doing it for myself and you. Im weak physically, I know you see im thin and I need to find strength and get my head under control." He said standing up too.

I just looked at him like he was a complete stranger, I really don't know the person im in love with, all I knew was the person I was in love with. This isn't him.

"Kendall, or whoever you are, go do what you need to, but know that your leaving everyone who loves you, so don't count on all of us being here when you come back. If you even do." I walked by him running my hand lightly along his arm thinking that this is the last time I might actually think of him as the old Kendall. I walked away holding in tears with a broken heart.

I hope you guys liked this chapter, I did a lot! If you want the next chapter soon you better leave a long review. I liked your guys ideas and am gonna try and work one into the story! PLEASE REVIEW!

PLEASE REVIEW!