Chapter 3

Redemption

The recreation area was crowded. Poe heard the talking from afar as he left the turbolift. He had only just finished his shift on the Finalizer's bridge and heading back to his quarters straight away simply wasn't an option. He had avoided doing that for two years now, since going straight from work or the mess hall back to his own private surroundings reminded him of the routine he had shared with Morap. Thinking of him still hurt, but today it was more of a dull pain coated with anger than anything else.

He'd find someone to talk to, spend an hour or so in the recreation area and then head back to his quarters to fall asleep instantly. He headed to the rec room he usually preferred, walking along the corridor, passing the doors to the gymnasium and the holo vid rooms. For a moment he thought about spending the time he had been allotted for recreation in the gymnasium, but then again his schedule didn't require it of him to maintain his level of physical fitness at this particular moment and there he'd have more time on his hands to think than he'd like.

Without stopping, Poe walked right into the room he had been aiming for all along. It was one of the rec rooms designated for Majors and Colonels and he was relieved to be here, not being forced to interact socially with members of his team. He spent so much time with them that it felt relaxing to be allowed to be away from them every once in a while. Poe scanned the room, looking for someone he might know and indeed among the people in teal coloured uniforms there were a couple of familiar faces. Some of them he had met in tactical meetings, others he knew from time spent here in this room.

Making his way to the counter, Poe scanned the room for a place to sit and engage in idle conversation with one of the others. He had been aboard the Finalizer for a year now but still he had found it difficult to find someone here who might be more of a friend to him than just a mere acquaintance apart for Meelan. The only people who had transferred with him to the Finalizer were Delaugh and Greggaleon. After General Kafr's sudden death in an accident aboard the Starburst's bridge roughly half a year after Morap's flight, there had been a massive restructuring among the Starburst's crew, the Star Destroyer had been taken out of action for repairs and its crew dispatched to other Destroyers or wherever they were needed. Poe and his team had been on the bridge roughly ten minutes before malfunctioning systems aboard the ship had not only locked the doors to the bridge, but had also caused a massive fire that had resulted in the destruction of most of the Starburst's most important and most sensitive equipment, but had also killed everyone locked on the bridge that day. This accident had been a massive blow to the First Order and had led to widespread inquiries into the work of engineers and everyone aboard the Starburst. The event had been declared an accident, but Poe knew, though no one ever said it out loud, that accident in this case might very well mean sabotage if not assassination. General Kafr had been among the oldest officers in High Command, one of the few who had served in the Old Empire, and the very fact that his death had remained without consequence for anyone but the engineers thought to have let this accident happen, told him more than he needed to know.

His chest tightened painfully whenever he thought back to the man who had protected him form persecution when Morap had left and who had taken the child Poe under his wing, sent him to the First Order's military Academy instead of sending him to be trained as a Stormtrooper. Poe Dameron had been lucky to have met General Yoann Kafr that day his mother was taken from him. He was lucky that Kafr had seen something in him. Something that could be worth a lot to the First Order. And Poe had done well. First during his time at the Academy, then later on his missions in the field, surveying the New Republic's troops fight against possible threats on the ground or its ships capturing smugglers. There had been a lot to learn for him. He knew how the Republic operated nowadays and how the First Order had to react in order to be able to not only fight back, but to strike most effectively. He had even taken the opportunity to take a close look at one of the shipyards of the New Republic. In an unmarked freighter he and Morap had managed to sneak into one of those massive compounds on Chandrila and study its layout for future reference. One day the Order would be powerful enough to strike against the New Republic and Poe would be there to witness it. To watch the rise of the First Order. To see it take over the New Republic and assume its place as the one organization powerful enough to crush the chaos ruling the galaxy.

At the very thought Poe felt his insides churn. Morap would be there on the other side. Poe was fairly sure that Morap had indeed joined the Republic or the Resistance. Where else would he go? What else would he do? But still… the very fact that so far no strikes against the Order had occurred that might lead to the assumption that one of their own had betrayed vital intel to the Resistance, made him uneasy.

Though in the aftermath of Kafr's death, Poe's case appeared to have become less important, which was again another point making him believe that the accident had been an assassination and not a mere accident, Poe still felt like he was being watched. But so far nothing else had happened. Nothing to make anyone assume he was still in league with Morap.

The mug of steaming hot tea finally in his hand, Poe headed off to a table by the viewscreen, keeping an eye out for someone to talk to and finding no one he actually wanted to see. Taking out his datapad, Poe sat down on one of the comfortable chairs and started reviewing the day's work. He could at least start working on the report if there was no one here he wanted to speak with. Of course there wasn't. He barely ever felt like company, but he still forced himself to come here almost every day, occasionally even making conversation. He knew that being unsociable wasn't likely to help him in advancing in the Order. The promotion Kafr had mentioned to him had passed him by after the Morap debacle and though Poe tried to be angry about that at Morap too, he couldn't find it in him. Not even now. Getting ahead in the Order's ranks was important. It was important to do one's best to help the Order, but not to him personally.

Browsing the notes, he had made on the current project, with a frown on his face, Poe tried pushing the thought of the Order's goals as far away from him as possible. This wasn't helping. He needed to focus on his work. Not the greater good, or the past, or his social life. This work, this project, was more important than anything else.

A couple of months ago, he and his team had been briefed on the First Order's new project and Poe had felt an icy shudder creep up his spine the moment he had heard the name, remembering that he had heard it before. Starkiller Base. The result of years of research done by the Old Empire into dark energy translations and hyperspace, Starkiller Base was the very weapon the First Order needed to destroy the Republic and clear the path for a new government. Looking at the base's schematics he couldn't help but wonder how such a project could have remained secret for so long, but then again it had never been his job to ask questions. Morap had been right. This base was real and all of a sudden Poe had understood what the very presence of this base in the galaxy would mean. But unlike Morap he hadn't wavered. He had stayed where he was and started working on strategies to defend the base at all costs. The layout of the base itself and the shielding was well enough thought out, but from that moment on it had been his task to actually plan the base's defence in case of attack and working was good. Working kept his mind occupied. Even now it was all he could do. Work until he was too tired to keep his eyes open and go straight to sleep. That was what he needed to do. Nothing else. Thinking about the fact that Starkiller Base had to be revealed to the galaxy in order for there to be an attack on it and what that revelation might be, was not his job. The billions of lives lost if the base was put into operation were none of his concern.

Poe sipped his tea, going through the security protocols in place on Starkiller in case of emergency, when he heard someone approach him. He didn't look up, pretending to be absorbed in his reading. Only when he heard someone say his name, did he shut his eyes for a moment and close the file on the datapad.

"Major Dameron, right?" A blonde man, about his age, was standing next to him, his brown eyes scanning Poe's appearance and then looking at the chair across from him.

Poe nodded slightly.

"May I?" The man asked and when Poe nodded again, though reluctantly, he sat down. "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you in your work, Major…"

Poe shrugged. "That's fine, I'm done anyway." That wasn't true, but what was he to do? He had entered the recreation area, this room even and that meant that he had signalled to everyone here that he was ready to talk. He looked at the man's face again, recognising the same armband on the man's left arm that he himself was wearing. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name Major…"

"Pallaeon. Gilad Pallaeon."

Poe nodded again. He recognised the name of course, though this man couldn't be the very same Gilad Pallaeon who had fought in the battle of Endor and had died in that tragic last battle of the Old Empire against the New Republic back at Jakku.

Pallaeon seemed to be familiar with this sort of reaction and shrugged slightly. "My father."

"Ah," Poe said, wondering what in the name of all the stars the man wanted from him. The face, he now realised, was vaguely familiar. They had most likely been at the Academy together. All the officers in here had attended that school, but it was so big that of course one couldn't be familiar with every single face, since every year roughly five thousand cadets graduated from the Academy, it was hard to keep track of everyone at the school and one tended to focus on the people in one's class mostly. It was very likely that he had seen this Pallaeon in passing, but he had never talked to him before.

"You have been here on the Finalizer for some time now, haven't you?" Pallaeon seemed to be getting nervous, judging from the way he put his hands on the chairs armrests, rubbing them off there as if in passing and all of a sudden Poe realised where this was heading.

"I have," he answered, closing the flap over the datapad's screen and gulping down the last of his still hot tea as if in a hurry.

"I've seen you around here quite often," Pallaeon said, his voice considerably higher now, as Poe tried to hide the choked cough.

He nodded again. "Well, it's a nice place to be," he said nonchalantly, trying to find the best queue for a quick exit. The last thing he wanted was being drawn into this kind of conversation.

"Let me cut to the chase…" Pallaeon's brown eyes showed all to plainly how much courage just being here cost him and all of a sudden Poe felt bad for showing this obviously how badly he wanted to leave. "Why don't we-"

Poe shook his head, before Pallaeon could say anything else. "No offense, but I'm really not in the mood." That was a huge understatement. He hadn't wanted to be with anyone since Morap had left. Of course he had tried. He had gone on shore leave half a year ago, determined to buy someone if he had to, had even selected a young beautiful dark haired man on the moon of Joovarus but he had been unable to go through with it. He hadn't even been able to approach the prostitute. Instead he had just remained there at the bar, staring into nothingness and cursing himself.

He saw the Pallaeon's face drop and immediately felt bad for rebuffing the other man like this, but there was no way around it. The man was certainly handsome enough, despite the fact that his nose was infinitely too small for his face, but Poe didn't want this. Any of this. He didn't want to be drawn into anything like the situation he'd had to go through with Morap ever again. He was fed up. Wasting ten years of his life on a man who had betrayed him like this was not something he could forget easily and he'd be damned if he ever went through this again. "I'm sorry," Poe added softly. Softer than he thought he could be. "It's not your fault."

Getting up, he managed to smile weakly at the man looking as if Poe had humiliated him beyond recovery. The smile was no use. Of course it wasn't. Pallaeon must think he was mocking him. But there was nothing for it. Nothing to be said, nothing to be done. Without another word, Poe headed for the door, not looking back at the man he had left sitting by the viewscreen. Going back to his quarters, or even his workstation might be a good idea. As long as he didn't stay here.

Upon reaching the door, he stopped in his tracks, seeing someone else entirely walk towards him, a stern look on his face cracking into a barely visible smile. It had taken Poe some time getting used to this face and not seeing Morap in it every time he looked at it, but it had become easier.

"Major…"

"Major…" Poe smiled vaguely. They had only talked about Morap this one time shortly after Morap's flight and about three months before Meelan Bendar's promotion to Major. When Poe had arrived on the Finalizer, he and Meelan had sat together in this very room, talking for hours and in confidence Meelan had confessed to him that he only thought he had been promoted because of his connections to Kafr and because he'd be easier to be supervised in his new position. Poe hadn't even bothered trying to say anything else. It was most likely true. Working alongside Meelan had seemed strange to Poe at first and he had thought he'd be unable to do it but as it turned out, Meelan and he could work together professionally without a glitch and in a way they had even become friends without Morap standing in the way.

"The General wants to talk to you," Meelan said, brown eyes fixed on Poe's.

Poe felt like he had missed a step walking down a flight of stairs, his stomach suddenly somewhere where it really shouldn't be. "My commlink hasn't announced anything like it," he murmured, panic threatening to overwhelm him. He had never been asked to see Hux. Not once. Not alone. Not on such short notice. He was reaching for his comm, to check whether he had missed any messages, when he saw Meelan shaking his head.

"He wanted me to tell you personally. Apparently the comm channel isn't secure enough."

Eyes wide, Poe looked up at him. "Excuse me?"

Meelan shrugged. "Just go."

Poe felt his heart racing in his chest, as he nodded and started walking again, quickly heading towards the turbolifts, when he heard Meelan's voice behind him. "Meet me at my quarters after?"

Poe waved at him without turning around. This couldn't be good.

General Hux' office was located near the command bridge and it took Poe a lot longer than he would have liked to get there. Thoughts racing through his mind, wondering whether Morap had been found or whether someone had accused him of any wrongdoing, Poe hurried to get to where Meelan had told him to go.

But of course this line of thinking was ridiculous, as he entered yet another turbolift and brushed the sweat off his forehead. Had anyone accused him of treason, he wouldn't be allowed to walk around without handcuffs and had Morap been captured, he would have been notified via commlink or not at all. The latter was more likely. If anything someone would have let Meelan know, not him. Not Poe…

Approaching the door, Poe forced himself to be calm. To appear like this summoning by Hux wasn't unnerving at all. Like he wasn't afraid. The door slid open before Poe had even reached it and he stopped in his tracks, as the dark clad, masked figure of Kylo Ren stepped out of Hux' office, the General standing right behind him. The warrior was without a doubt one of Supreme Leader Snoke's favourite commanders. Poe had encountered him several times before here on-board, though he had never had the misfortune of having to speak to him. Being in the presence of this masked menace, a warrior undoubtedly with powers no one but a Jedi could have, made Poe shudder and as Ren stopped too, facing Poe with this inscrutable mask, Poe felt icy pinpricks on his neck. A sudden blackness washed over him but it was gone as soon as it had occurred. Unable to distinguish any sign of recognition or mood swing from Ren, Poe stayed where he was, several metres away from the door, wishing to be anywhere but here.

"Very well then, General," Ren said, his voice distorted through the apparatus embedded in the mask shielding him from the rest of the galaxy. Poe had heard others whispering about what Ren might be hiding underneath that mask, but Poe was neither interested in their horror stories nor did he want to think about Ren too much.

"Do as you wish." He didn't sound like he was alright with whatever he had discussed with Hux and Hux' expression showed all too clearly that he didn't think he needed Ren's permission for anything. With a curt nod, Ren turned away from Hux and walked past Poe towards the lifts and Poe resisted the temptation to look after him, instead focusing his gaze on Hux.

"Sir? You asked to see me." There was no use apologizing for being late. Had Hux wanted him to be here earlier he should have used the comm channel or any other means of contacting him.

Hux eyes revealed nothing about the business he wanted to attend to with Poe as he made an inviting gesture, ordering Poe to enter his office. "I did. Come in, Major."

Upon entering the room, Poe looked around briefly, realising that though Hux was very different in personality from Kafr, the office didn't look very different. The only difference Poe could make out was that there were no items displayed anywhere that looked even remotely like they belonged to Hux privately.

"Sit." The order came in a tone much calmer than Poe would have anticipated. He and Hux had never been even remotely friendly. Far from it. There had always been the taste of bitterness in their few interactions since their graduation from the Academy. A bitterness, which had reached its peak two years previously. But ever since Poe had been transferred to the Finalizer, they had been working together on a more regular basis and they had learned to live with the close proximity in which they both had to work with each other.

Poe sat down on the chair in front of the General's dark, durosteel clad desk and watched as Hux sat down in his own chair. "Your theoretical work on the Starkiller's defence is almost done?"

Nodding, Poe sat up straight. "Yes, Sir."

Hux pursed his lips and leaned back in his own chair. "Very well. I was asked to tell you that you will be transferred there next to implement those plans and oversee the troops."

Poe's insides squirmed. He'd be transferred. Transferred away from duty on Star Destroyers to serve on the most powerful base the First Order possessed and all of a sudden he realised that personally he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. Before he could speak up however, trying to express the gratitude expected of him, Hux started speaking again.

"For that you will receive a promotion," Hux said, eyes fixed on Poe's, who had almost expected to hear this after the first announcement, but not believed Hux would actually say it. "It is a requirement to give you the authority you are going to need for that task. But before…" he leaned forward again, "you have some other business to attend to."

Raising his eyebrows, Poe felt like the universe was collapsing around him. Something else to do. "Whatever the Order needs me to do," he said.

Hux pursed his lips. "You have been assigned missions to observe the Republic's doings before, haven't you?"

"Yes, General. But I haven't been on any such missions in the last couple of years." Not since his promotion to Captain in fact, but Hux must know that of course.

"I am aware… this mission I am assigning to you is a bit different from those you have been on previously. I cannot trust it to anyone in the lower ranks, it is simply too important and you are the only one on my ship qualified for the job."

Poe swallowed hard and he could already feel the tension rising inside of him. He was surprised at himself for being this excited about a possible mission out in the field. Was this him? Actually him? Did he enjoy those missions this much? Had he forgotten what it had felt like to be out there actually doing something? How? The job he had was different. More important… or was it? Poe couldn't tell. He fought away the smile threatening to spread over his face. "What kind of mission?"

Hux' eyes darted towards the door and then back to Poe. "Supreme Leader Snoke found a trail of hints leading to a man called Lor San Tekka on Jakku. He might very well hold the piece of a map we have been looking for, for quite some time. Ren was very keen on the mission, but personally I would rather trust one of my officers with this task. You seemed like the appropriate candidate."

Poe couldn't help but stare at Hux. This mission he was about to be assigned was obviously important. More important than anything he had ever been asked to do before. If the Supreme Leader had asked for this map piece himself, and Poe was chosen to retrieve it, then this could mean a change of pace for him. The look on Hux' face showed him that the man wasn't fond of the idea of sending Poe out either, but that if he had to choose between trusting the mission to Ren or Poe, Poe was more trustworthy. And all of a sudden Poe remembered the flash of blackness back in the corridor and what Ren had said afterwards. Had Ren done something to him? Something to find out whether he was up to the task? "May I ask where this map is supposed to lead us?" Apparently he'd be sent on a most vital mission and he might need that information eventually. The very fact that Poe had been asked here as discreetly as possible was reason enough to suspect that.

Hux' mouth twitched. "Luke Skywalker apparently." He sounded almost bored, but there was a twinkle in his eye telling Poe that he wanted to be the one to present Supreme Leader Snoke with the information Poe was asked to obtain.

Meanwhile Poe felt his mouth go dry and his eyes grow wide. Luke Skywalker. The hero of the Rebellion. The very pilot who had blown the first Death Star to bits. The Jedi who had killed the Emperor and Darth Vader. He had gone missing several years ago, he knew, and nothing had been heard of him ever since. Finding him would mean a horrible blow to the New Republic.

"I see you understand the urgency of this mission." Hux said and not waiting for another response from Poe, got to his feet. Poe rose simultaneously, as the General reached for a datacard and walked around the table with it. "You will be assigned a unit of four Stormtroopers to complete this mission."

So he wouldn't go incognito. The Order was making its claim on the map piece known. Its claim on Skywalker's life. The war was beginning openly. Poe's mind raced, as he took the datacard from Hux.

"I must impress upon you that this mission is top secret. No one but you, Ren and me know about where you are headed. Only your arrival on Jakku is going to announce our claim on that map piece and Skywalker. On this datacard you are going to find all the information we have obtained about San Tekka and his possible whereabouts. It is very likely the Resistance is looking for him as well."

Poe nodded again, feeling a slight tingle in his fingertips. "Yes, General."

Hux looked him up and down. "Your work here has been excellent", he said, the expression on his face showing all to plainly that he didn't like the fact that he had been proven wrong about him. "I expect you to succeed on this mission, Major. Your unit of Stormtroopers will be waiting for you in the main hangar tomorrow morning after your team meeting. Get some rest and good luck."

Meelan's quarters were close to his own and after taking the datacard to his own private room, Poe made his way there straight away. Meelan was already waiting for him, a glass of whiskey at the ready. Drinking was strictly prohibited aboard any First Order ship, but of course there were ways of getting alcohol on board. Meelan always played by the rules, but somehow this particular one hadn't bothered him at all and tonight Poe was grateful for it. He needed a drink. Desperately.

"What did he want?" Meelan asked, concern on his face, as he sat down on the bed and Poe settled down on the chair by the small desk.

"I'm being sent to Starkiller," he said. He and Meelan had worked together on Poe's project. Meelan being in charge of communications aboard the Finalizer, was more familiar with the new base's layouts and comm channels than anyone else. "To supervise the implementation of the defence plans."

Meelan raised his eyebrows. "You're done?"

Poe shrugged. He wished he could tell Meelan more. About this mission, about how excited he was… about the slight tingle of fear at the back of his mind that everything would go wrong before he knew it. He gulped down the content of his glass in one swallow and shivered as the liquid burned its way up his throat again. "Do you have more?"

Without hesitating, Meelan brought up the bottle of amber liquid from underneath his bed and placed it on the table. "Help yourself."

"I will…"

"You don't seem happy… I guess there's a promotion in it for you."

"Yes…" Poe said and didn't even sound remotely happy. He heard it himself and shook his head, as he refilled his glass. "Much to do."

"Are you going to miss me?" Meelan smirked and Poe felt a twinge in his chest, as he saw Morap again in that face.

"Not at all," he murmured, taking another sip and managing a smile. They had done this a few times. Drinking in Meelan's quarters. Not often, but it had happened and Poe had always felt exhilarated about breaking this one rule, the only rule he had ever really broken. But tonight that feeling didn't set in. He was dreading the next day for some reason but also looking forward to it in a way he couldn't explain. "Just your excellent bartending skills."

"Ha!" Meelan shrugged and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Being here felt familiar. "Congratulations, Major… or is it Colonel already?"

Poe shook his head with a slight smile. "Thanks, Major… I guess I should tell you off for drinking now that I outrank you again. But then again… I don't yet." He took another swallow and now the whiskey wasn't burning anymore, just filling his insides up with a comfortable warmth, lulling him in. He wasn't used to drinking and he could already feel the effects of the alcohol. He filled up his glass again.

Meelan smirked again. "You may… but maybe tomorrow."

"Leaving tomorrow."

"You… what?" Meelan's genuine surprise took him off guard.

"Yep… Tomorrow. And you, my friend, never told me about your leave? Where did you go again?"

Meelan shook his head. He had been gone for two weeks and only returned a week ago. Those two weeks were time every married officer was allotted once half a year to spend with his family. Poe had only met Nataleeh Bendar this one time and so far he hadn't felt the urge to see her again, afraid that she might want to talk to him about the wedding he had attended with Morap. So far it had worked.

"Nowhere special," Meelan said. "Just some time away from it all…"

Poe could see a flush creep up Meelan's face and he downed the next drink. "Good times, I gather from the look on your face?" Alcohol tended to loosen his tongue. He needed to be careful, he realised, but he still poured himself another glass. Anything could happen on that mission. Anything…

Meelan shrugged. "Apparently." His ears were going red, and Poe put the glass back on the desk. "I received a message from Nataleeh today… she's pregnant."

Poe gasped, his eyes burning all of a sudden as a smile spread over his face. "Congratulations!", he blurted out. "A father… wow! You!" He couldn't help but laugh, as Meelan buried his face in his hands to hide his own smile. And there it was again. The image of Morap… Morap being an uncle and never knowing about it. Another generation of First Order officers being born to fight the Republic and the Resistance. A twinge of fear and regret was pulling at Poe and he brushed it off, as he put a hand on Meelan's shoulder. "You're a lucky man, Bendar," he murmured. A child… another child coming into this world… that had to be a good sign. It simply had to.

Shaking his head, Poe poured Meelan another drink.