Chapter 4

Departure

It was as if an arsenal of thermal detonators had gone off in his head. Pulses of pain washing through his brain at every step he took, Poe made his way to the mess. As he entered the turbolift, he discreetly leaned against the wall and closed his eyes to let the wave of nausea wash over him without anyone noticing. If they thought he was tired, then that was fine by him. As long as they didn't guess that he was hungover. He was, but of course no one was to know. He had brushed his teeth feverishly and done his best to look the way he always did. Though he was fairly sure that he had missed a spot when shaving, he knew that he looked respectable enough and was sure that a mug of caff would indeed help him to get back on his feet.

He listened to the other officers talking quietly amongst themselves, as the doors started to slide shut and then stopped all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry, ladies."

At the sound of the voice, Poe opened his eyes and looked past the other two officers directly at Meelan, whose eyes looked as bloodshot as Poe's own must. Meelan's weak smile evoked a grunt from Poe, as the other shoved his way past the others.

"Major…"

"Major…"

Poe turned his head to look at Meelan, who leaned against the wall right next to him, looking horribly pale.

"I think I know how my wife must feel right now."

Shaking his head, Poe looked at the officer's head in front of him. Talking about how queasy they both felt in front of two women who might give their unlawful drinking habits away at every moment probably wasn't a good idea. He only bumped his elbow into Meelan's side and gave him a crooked grin. "You should report to the medbay if you don't feel well, Bendar."

The corners of Meelan's mouth twitched and Poe could almost feel a fitting response forming in Meelan's mind, when the doors finally closed and the lift took off, making bile rise in Poe's throat and forcing him to close his eyes again.

"I meant how much she must miss me of course. I'd miss me if I were gone for so long."

Poe snorted again. "At least you're not suffering from overconfidence."

"Not me, Major…" Meelan answered as the door slid open again and the soft jerk going through Poe's body made him want to collapse on the floor there and then. Instead he grabbed Meelan gently by the elbow and pushed him out of the doorway. Together they followed the two female officers along the corridor and exchanged quick glances.

"Never again, my friend," Poe muttered, feeling a sense of dread creep up on him as he said those words. He quickly shook it off. Now was not the time to start doubting his mission. In fact, now was not the time to do anything but look ahead to what he had to do next: tell his team that he was being transferred and then he'd have to get the shuttle to Jakku and-

"You say that now," Meelan interrupted his thought process. "Wait till we see each other again. We're going to have to repeat that. The child will be here then, I guess."

Poe managed a smile. "Very likely...", he murmured. "Let's just hope it won't take that long." He sincerely hoped, though he doubted it, that he wouldn't stay on Starkiller Base permanently. With a bit of luck he'd be sent away on another deployment afterwards. Who could tell? He was surprised at himself for thinking that he didn't want to lose touch with Meelan. They really had become friends, though Poe felt constantly reminded of Morap around him. Somehow that had never stopped them.

Meelan nodded. They had arrived at the mess and Poe was glad to see that the queue in front of the serving area wasn't as long as it usually was at this time of day. Following the two officers from the turbolift, he and Meelan stood in line with the others in silence, waiting to be served, though he didn't look forward to the grey mush served here every morning. The caff at least was something he couldn't wait to get his hands on.

Breakfast was the same quiet affair as usual, with talk only kept to a bare minimum to increase efficiency of food intake. Poe barely managed to gulp down four spoonfuls of what was called porridge here on board and which tasted even worse than what he had gotten at the orphanage. At least the meals that weren't breakfast were fairly good, he thought, wondering if food on Starkiller Base would be any different from that served on Star Destroyers. Probably not, though.

Meelan next to him didn't eat much either, looking as pale as a sheet while sipping his caff. "When are you leaving?" he asked after they had both silently agreed to stop trying to eat any more.

"After the team meeting," Poe answered quietly. The caff had at least helped him in clearing his head a bit. He knew that he should have tried to eat more, since the trip to Jakku was likely to take them roughly one day in the shuttle they had been assigned, and rations on trips like these were never as good as food served in a proper mess, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Nodding, Meelan got up and Poe followed suit. "I'll walk you to the door, I have to be on the bridge to oversee the new arrivals getting acquainted with their work stations."

New officers had arrived the day before, Poe knew, fifty new men and women who had just graduated from the Academy. He nodded briefly at the other officers who had been sitting across from him and Meelan during their quiet meal and then turned away from them to take the tray to the station designated for dirty dishes.

Meelan was quiet. That in itself was nothing unusual. The mess hall was not a place for talking, and the previous night had definitely taken its toll on the both of them, but there was something about Meelan's demeanour, which made Poe wonder whether or not Meelan suspected anything concerning his mission after all.

"Why did he send you to give me the message?" Poe asked as they reached the corridor outside the mess.

"I don't know." Meelan looked back at the inside of the room they had just left and shrugged. "But what I do know is that a normal transfer could have easily been announced via the comm channel."

Poe smiled vaguely, trying to look as if he hadn't almost expected Meelan to suspect that something about Poe's sudden withdrawal from the Finalizer was in fact fishy. "General Hux wanted to let me know personally," he said. "With the promotion involved and everything."

Meelan nodded again. They couldn't talk freely. Not here. Not ever. But they had found their own way of communication despite everything. "Well then, Dameron…" he said, his face betraying the slightest trail of a smile, as he stretched out his hand.

"I'm looking forward to meeting your child, Bendar." Taking Meelan's hand, he felt the firm pressure of his fingers and only let go reluctantly. It wasn't very likely that would happen anytime soon, but saying it made his looming departure easier. As if it was a promise he was in fact capable of keeping, pushing away the dread of catastrophe.

Meelan laughed. "I'm counting on you," he said. "Take care, Major."

"You too, Major."

With another small, barely visible smile, Meelan turned around, heading off in the direction of the lifts which would take him to the bridge.

Captain Phasma was waiting for him in the hangar. He could see her standing in front of the shuttle, four Stormtroopers standing at attention right next to her tall frame clad in chromium coated armour. Poe hesitated only for the blink of an eye before setting foot into the main hangar. True, she merely held the rank of Captain, but she had been given much more authority than was due to a mere Captain. She was the one who had selected the Stormtroopers aboard the Finalizer personally according to their training records and was involved in the Stormtrooper training programme. If she was here to send him on his mission, then those Troopers had to be top range.

"Captain Phasma," Poe said, when he had reached her. He had worked with her before of course, talking her through tactical schematics he and his team had come up with for the Finalizer and Starkiller and he had found working with her very effective. She was a perfect strategist herself and together they had managed to find a more efficient defence system for ground troops, at least in theory. He was sure that he'd be working with her again, once he came around to implement the new system.

"I chose these four as your escort, Sir." Hearing her call him that was strange. He outranked her, yes, but she held more authority than him anyway, at least concerning the Stormtroopers. He himself had never commanded soldiers. Not in the field anyway.

Poe looked over at the soldiers standing lined up in front of the ramp with their blasters at the ready. "Very well," Poe said, taking the datacard Phasma was handing him.

"Their signatures and files are on here."

Nodding, Poe placed the datacard into the assigned slot on his pad and immediately the signatures of the Troopers were shown to him. FN-2000, FN-2003, FN-2187 and FN-2199. Of course those signatures didn't mean anything to him, but he would be sure to memorize the signatures as well as special abilities of each of them along the way. "Fine." Poe looked up at Phasma again. "I believe I will be seeing you on the base before long."

"Yes, Sir." Phasma nodded once more and Poe wondered only for a second if she'd be there before him. Poe shook the thought and turned towards the shuttle. This Star Destroyer had been his home for such a long time that leaving it felt alien. Of course every Destroyer was designed the same way but still each and every one of them felt different, like the whole crew made up one huge individual.

The Stormtroopers didn't say a word as he walked past them. Upon entering the shuttle he found that the bag he had packed for the mission had already been taken to the passenger compartment reserved for his use. His eyes scanned the interior of the shuttle, taking in the boxes holding provisions and ammunition they might need. As per his request a light one-person speeder bike had been provided as well. That would make things infinitely easier. The Stormtroopers had followed him inside and were standing in front of him now. All of them were of the same size, none of their faces was visible. He had never been in close proximity to Troopers for a longer stretch of time and the times he had communicated with them directly had been limited. For him they tended to be dots and signatures on a screen, maybe even a personal file, but never people he had to interact with for more than a few hours. And now they were awaiting his orders to proceed. According to the datacard and mission specifics he had been given by Hux, none of them knew where they were headed, only that he, Poe, would be their commanding officer until they arrived on Starkiller, where they were to join a squadron assigned to them.

"I will memorize your signatures before we reach our destination," he told them, consulting his datacard again. "FN-Two-One-Nine-Nine, you and FN-Two-triple Zero, you have undergone flight training and will be piloting the shuttle in intervals. FN-Two-One-Nine-Nine, you are going to take the first shift." Poe looked back down at his datapad, grateful not to have to look at the expressionless masks in front of him anymore for a moment. They were familiar of course, but it still felt like talking to a wall. Addressing his officers was infinitely easier.

Typing in his security clearance and then in a short command, he ordered the datapad to transfer the coordinates to the shuttle's computer. "Start the shuttle, the coordinates are in the nav computer already. When we have reached hyperspace, I want you all in here for a short briefing." For a moment he lingered, looking at each of the Stormtroopers in turn. They'd be stuck on here for a whole day and Poe felt like them being without helmets would be infinitely more comfortable for all of them, but of course that was out of the question. They were on duty and the Stormtroopers would only be allowed to remove their armour during the times they were supposed to rest. Before he could be tempted to say anything else, he turned and made his way to the passenger compartment to go over the mission files again.

Sitting down on the narrow bunk, he leaned back against the thin wall. The door had closed shut behind him and he took off his command cap for a moment to close his eyes as the ship came to life beneath him, starting to make its way out of the hangar. Simply staring at the datapad on his knees while they left the Finalizer and the time he had spent on it behind was all he could do. The hyperdrive starting up could be felt much more on the command shuttles than on Star Destroyers and as always, Poe felt his heart do a small flip he couldn't even begin to explain to himself. Flying through space, travelling through hyperspace, had never bothered him, he even had to admit that he admired the infinite glow of stars passing by at incredible speed. When he had been on missions with Morap all those years ago, he had spent hours in the flight deck while Morap was sitting in the pilot's seat, doing all the actual flying, enjoying the gentle humming of the engines and the silent beeps of instruments in front of him. That wouldn't be possible now of course, and he needed to focus on his mission anyway.

Getting up, he went through his bag once again. Everything he had put in was still there. Civilian clothes for when he needed to mingle with locals on Jakku before confronting San Tekka. If he found him that was. Before he could even attempt retrieving the map piece from San Tekka, he needed to find the village where he was hiding and that meant getting all the intel he needed from the people of Jakku. Taking another close look at the maps of Jakku, he decided on trying to get to the one space port big enough to maybe offer him the opportunity of going unnoticed.

His mind was still a bit fuzzy and he realised that he was not as stable on his feet as he should be. Going through the emergency med kit found in the small bathroom, he found nothing that could keep him on his feet. With a sigh, he closed the door to the bathroom again and picked up his command cap. He really shouldn't have had that last drink, he thought. Or the last three. Putting it on, Poe realised that he should have gotten a haircut before leaving the Finalizer. His barely manageable hair was already making the cap sit tighter around his head than it should, but there was nothing to be done about that now. For a moment he considered leaving the cap where it was, but then again, if the Troopers had to appear in full armour, then so should he.

The door slid open silently and before he could step into the main compartment, he heard the Troopers talking amongst themselves.

"Leave Slip alone, Zeroes," one of them muttered. None of them had apparently realised that Poe's door had opened. He couldn't see them, from where he was standing, but he heard the anger in the voice of the speaker immediately.

"What business is it of yours, Eight-Seven?" The second voice sounded almost annoyed, like this wasn't the first time they had argued.

Poe remained where he was, standing in the doorway, listening to the Stormtroopers standing slightly to the side behind the boxes of provisions and ammunition. This wasn't like anything he had ever experienced before. Stormtroopers were soldiers, speaking only when spoken to, functioning the way they were told to and thinking for themselves only when needed. These Stormtroopers, according to the files he had skimmed briefly in his compartment, were highly efficient, one of the best teams in training, and somehow, hearing them talking amongst themselves, even using nicknames, was kind of unnerving. But of course they talked amongst themselves. Of course they didn't only call each other by their signatures alone. He himself always found them a mouthful on occasion, but it was what had to be done. Protocol…

"We're a team!" the first voice said indignantly. "Don't start picking on Slip now. We're on a mission to who knows where and we have to stick together."

Someone, probably the Trooper called Zeroes, snorted indignantly. "Well, Slips had better watch out or this mission might be his last."

Clearing his throat to announce his presence, Poe stepped out of his compartment. He really didn't want to hear any more. From the corner of his eye he saw the Trooper up in the flight deck flinch and turn his head.

"Sir?"

Poe nodded. "Join us down here for a moment, FN-Two-One-Nine-Nine." He was surprised at the tone in his voice. He had never in all his life addressed a Stormtrooper without the intonation of giving a direct order before. But then again, he had never worked with Stormtroopers directly before. Not like this.

As FN-2199 walked down the narrow ramp to stand right next to his comrades, melting into the unit they were forming despite their obvious differences, Poe reminded himself again that he was their commander and though they were mere soldiers, they were also his responsibility. He couldn't waste the Order's resources. These Stormtroopers in front of him had been raised in the Order much like he himself had been, the only difference being that they had been too young to remember their families. When they had been enlisted in the First Order they had been infants, unable to process what was happening to them and why. They were among the Order's finest assets and not easily dispensable. He needed to watch out for them not only to complete his mission successfully, but also for the Order

"As you may have noticed, this is not a standard transfer of one officer to another Destroyer or base," he began, looking at each of the faceless men in front of him in turn. "In fact, this is not a transfer at all. We are going to Jakku, where we are to obtain a certain artefact important to Supreme Leader Snoke himself." He paused for a moment, letting the news sink in. "We will be landing near a place called Niima Outpost, where I will have to make a few inquiries about the person we are looking for. The journey there is going to take us about one standard day, is that correct, FN-Two-One-Nine-Nine?"

The Trooper to the far right nodded briefly. "Yes, Sir."

"Very well. You may use the time until we get there for recreation if you wish to do so. I recommend resting, since we don't know what is going to await us on Jakku." He hesitated for a moment. Still they were looking right at him, standing at attention and seemingly unaware of what he was saying at the same time. But of course they were listening. Of course they knew exactly what was asked of them. Still… this was a lot more intimate than he thought it would be. They were only five people, stuck on a shuttle in hyperspace for twenty four hours straight and though he was their commanding officer, he was the stranger in their midst. They were a fully formed unit and he felt like he didn't belong there. The few times he had worked with Stormtroopers there had been hundreds of them, and at least a dozen other officers. This was different. Entirely different. He was only glad they were perfectly trained for life in the Order, or they might get the idea of overpowering him, which they'd be able to do easily. For the first time in his life he was actually intimidated by the soldiers standing in front of him… a calming thought maybe.