2. Heat
It's October and the Texas weather is not as unbearable as usual. Karma still sleeps with Amy almost every night. They talked about what happened, but mostly Karma tries not to think about it. Sometimes she'll catch herself tracing the red circle around the date of January 21st. (She still needs to buy business-casual slacks to appear in court.) Amy has oddly been as supportive as ever, not asking for any more detail about what happened, considering the vague outline of events Karma had provided. She only gently reminds Karma to call her lawyer at important times, and keeps her afloat and away from drinking too hard when they do decide to go out to parties.
It's the weekend before Halloween, and Karma is excited, because it's a costume party. Their floor is going to the usual apartment party, but everyone's decked out in the sluttiest or funniest outfit, and they're all abuzz with freshman excitement. Karma pregames a little harder than usual, because Amy is too happy about her favorite holiday to scold her; Karma is dressed in a skimpy maid uniform, and Amy is wearing a cop uniform with the shirt entirely unbuttoned and a bandeau underneath. They're both showing a little more skin than usual; hoping to be daring and have fun. It's college.
Amy wants to hook up as much as the next girl, whereas Karma has been a little turned off from guys since Jack. She hasn't been with anyone lately, but she still enjoys the attention she manages to attract from guys at parties and that's good enough. They head out, walking in a huge pack with the rest of the group, everyone warm from alcohol.
The apartment is loud and dark. Everyone is grinding, writhing, drinking to the music. It's a nice escape for Karma, and she feels odd when she notices Amy exiting the dance floor with another girl's hand in hers. Karma wants that ease of flirtation, but the thought also makes her incredibly nervous. She pushes her way through the throngs of people, mixing herself an even stronger drink. The cheap vodka burns her throat with each sip, but it feels nice to slip deeper into intoxication.
There's a guy with his hands on her. At first, they're dancing passionately and it stirs arousal in Karma. She doesn't like him, can't remember his name, but they're both rather good at keeping to the beat. The next moment, she remembers Amy and feels a little disgusted with herself. She wants to remove him from her, but he's too into the moment, grinding behind her. Desperately, her eyes scan the room for Amy.
The other girl had just returned from the kitchen with another beer when she noticed Karma looking out for help. Her expression screamed needing rescuing, which Amy was happy to help. She hated the thought of her best friend feeling uncomfortable.
"Dude, your times up," Amy obnoxious tries to ward off the rather tall, frat-looking bro.
"Well, I'm Ryan, nice to meet you," He tries.
"Don't care. Now get your hands off of my friend, please."
"What? No, we're still dancing here. You want to still dance, right?" And he tightens his grip on Karma's hips. And now there is almost fear in Karma's eyes, and Amy wants to pummel this guy, but she refrains.
"Ryan, we're leaving." Amy yanks Karma away. He stops protesting, a little too drunk to entirely process what has happened.
On the walk home, Karma is stumbling more than usual. Lately, she's been the more sober of the two; taking care of drunken Amy is generally hilarious. But now the roles are reversed, and Amy is handling Karma with a lot of concern. Ever since "the incident" Karma has pretty much avoided weed, but tonight she managed to take a hit from some Ryan's blunt before they left the party. They cross the street carefully, arms interlocked.
"C'mon, Amy! That was a lot of fun. Every night should be Halloweekend!" Karma slurs excitedly, maybe too loudly.
"Yeah, but next time try not to warm up to some creep like that Ryan-dude," Amy scoffs at the still-intoxicated Karma. "Anyways, do you need my shirt or something? Are you cold?"
"Thanks for saving me. I knew you would…and no, I'm super warm, actually. Besides if you took off that shirt you'd pretty much be wearing just a bra and I don't know if I'd approve of that." Karma smiles happily to herself, walking a little straighter now.
"Yeah, you're right. It'd be indecent as hell. And I don't want to be leered at on this walk home," Amy says without really thinking. She's concentrating on making it back to their dorm without getting lost. (Usually Karma's the one better at directions.)
"Thanks for taking care of me," Karma yawns as she slides into Amy's bed, only wearing her underwear and a t-shirt. Amy just rolls her eyes, glad that they made it home in one piece. Another successful night of going out, all proceeded as usual. Karma drank two bottles of water before lying down. Check. Amy had made sure they both had managed to brush their teeth. Check. Amy's bed (which was suddenly becoming the one of the two beds used at all) was preemptively made, the sheets smoothed out, before they got in to mess it up all over again. Check.
Amy kisses Karma on the cheek, closing her eyes, hoping exhaustion will take over her still slightly tipsy state. But Karma is still drunk, and that is a huge mistake, because Amy finds herself being kissed hard by her best friend. It isn't fair, because Karma is straight and not attracted to her, and Amy is no longer in love, but then there is Karma's mouth on hers. Their tongues feel warm and hot together. It is what Amy had dreamed of for almost two years, but she turns her head away, because she knows how much Karma will regret this.
She wants to slap Karma, to tell her that this is stupid, but she can't even muster that much. And Karma finds her lips again, hungrily kissing her. It feels wet and ungraceful, but Amy knows that inside she revels in the feeling of being this close to her best friend. She can already feel the growing regret inside both of them, but she loves the tangibility of Karma against her. Amy weakly tries turning her head away in protest for the second time, but Karma finds her all the same. It hurts and feels so good to Amy that she lets it happen. Amy can smell Karma's shampoo. She holds Karma close, and knows the softness of her skin is unique to any other girl she has touched. It reminds her of falling in love for the first time, and though those feelings ignite, deep beneath her consciousness, their aching burn still scorches her. The wounds are fresh on the surface, and they begin to reopen.
Karma fell asleep a less drunk and incredibly satisfied. But if she had been even a little more sober, she would have felt her best friend's wracking sobs beside her.