5. Terabyte
"Thank you so much!" Amy grins widely at her best friend. Karma grabs her hand in response, squeezing it.
"Of course, Amy."
"Can't believe I lasted this long without an external hard drive. It's so tiny, like the size of a doughnut, but it holds a fucking terabyte. That's approximately 300K cat photos!"
"Please don't use it just for that," Karma sighs in mock exasperation.
"I wouldn't dream of it. I should probably download Python tonight, though."
"Amy! We're going out with Brian tonight. You don't have time. We need to get ready and pregame."
"Right, drinking," Amy grins at Karma.
And Karma is pretty sure Amy only agreed to go to a club, because it's what Karma wants which is really just classic-unselfish-Amy, especially since it's her birthday. But Karma tries to overcompensate by talking about Amy's chances of meeting a girl that also likes girls, and so she feels less guilty about it.
Karma dresses down in tight blue jeans, a white button down, and black pumps. She wears only mascara, saving her effort on Amy's make up. Karma convinces Amy to wear a navy dress she bought for her several weeks ago. It's at a modest length, but with side cutouts.
When Karma finally zips the back of Amy's dress, she can't help but notice how nice Amy's back is and how overall pretty her best friend really is. And it's not in an insecure or sexual way, it's just—it's nice. Because despite all of the fucking up Karma has done, she knows she can rely on this beautiful human being for the rest of her life. Karma feels her cheeks blush, and she decides to blame it on the couple of birthday shots she took with Amy a moment earlier.
"Karma. Yo, Earth to Ashcroft," Amy is waving her hand in front of Karma's face.
"…Yeah?"
"Dude, you spaced out on me for a second," She touches her middle, where flesh is exposed. "It feels kind of too breezy without you know…a whole dress."
"Come on, Amy! It's fashion."
"Okay, but since when did fashion have to be impractical? Also that's totally a Lauren Cooper response."
"How is the traitor, by the way?"
"Lauren's good. Kind of loving the normalcy of A&M. But I don't get this whole Longhorn-Aggie rivalry. Aren't we both state schools?"
Karma starts to explain that football is involved, but Brian calls to say that he's waiting for them in the parking lot. Brian greets them outside of his Nissan Maxima. His blonde hair is gelled back. Brian's shorts are polka-dotted, and his bowtie matches impeccably. He is kind of a walking stereotype, because he's slightly effeminate, loves drugs, and hooks up with every willing gay man. He's like Shane Harvey, but hornier, which is sort of hard to beat. (No pun intended.) But what sets him apart from Shane, and what Karma really loves about Brian, is that he's so unapologetically loyal to his friends. He pledges to show the girls a good time, but abstains from drinking to ensure they safely get home. He is their sober fairy. (Also no pun intended.)
At the club, it's awkward at first, because Karma knows that Amy is vaguely uncomfortable and over stimulated by the sweaty, drunk crowd. But Karma buys Brian a virgin piña colada, Amy a Kamikaze shot, herself a shot of Jack Daniels, and suddenly they're in business. Brian begins flirting with the bartender he slept with, and Amy feels more at ease and eager to dance.
It's loud and still kind of gross, because of all the other bodies. But the music is good, and Karma even finds herself enjoying all of the eye candy around. She loves the atmosphere of women in flannels and men in booty shorts. It's fun and would probably make her parents proud that so many people in one room are choosing to defy the gender binary. Karma dances with everyone. She keeps a close eye on Amy, who continually floats back to the hot, dark-haired DJ.
Karma wonders if Amy has run out of "songs to suggest" and wanders up to them. It's unbearably loud, but Amy has managed to decipher the DJ's name and number. Reagan is beautiful and perfectly alt looking. She isn't sure why, but she needs a drink after seeing Reagan up close.
"Hey, Karm, you okay?" Brian looks at his friend with concern.
"Yeah, never better." But Karma knows she doesn't appear convincing, having just spilled her drink for the fifth time that night. But she feels less awkward about seeing Amy enjoy her birthday with the DJ aka someone other than Karma and feels more assuaged with every drink. She sees Amy talking to Reagan, forced to be close and speak in her ear.
Amy and Reagan, they're dancing and it's starting to look intimate. Even if Karma feels slightly left out, she thinks they'd make a really hot couple. Still, Karma can't help but order another shot of Jack when sees them start to make out, choosing not to analyze the meaning of that. Brian is too engrossed with the bartender to notice. Amy and Reagan grind to Lady Gaga and slow dance to that one song in Coyote Ugly…Well I should try to be strong, but baby you're the right kind of wrong.
Karma gets increasingly intoxicated and can't help herself from clapping with delight when Amy indicates to Brian that she's ready for him to drive them home. They all walk to the parking lot wordlessly. The early November air feels cool against their skin, and Karma walks close to Amy. She suddenly thinks about how Amy's fingers are intertwined with hers and not with Reagan's.
When they get back to their room, they're both still tipsy and awake. They clamor into their floor's lounge, ready to drunkenly socialize with the people still awake. For Karma, it's unfortunate that the only people left awake are Frankie and his posse of comp sci nerds playing Cards Against Humanity. Amy quickly jumps in, and Karma chooses takes this opportune moment to shower.
Karma is walking toward their room, thinking about how she's sober now, and really kind of hates herself for getting so fucked up lately. She vows to abstain from drugs and alcohol for a while—it's unhealthy to depend on substances
When Karma is fully showered and prepared for bed, she exits the bathroom and is startles by Amy yelping. It's a guilty noise, and Karma realizes that she must've seen the rest of her birthday present. So it wasn't just an empty external hard drive with one terabyte.
"Karma, I—"
"Don't." Karma gestures for Amy to shut her laptop. She guides them both back to Amy's bed.
"…are we just going to sleep now?" Amy's question feels heavy, and Karma can't really handle it right now.
"Yeah." Karma rolls on her side, essentially the spooning Amy. It's usually uncomfortably warm sleeping with another person (Liam), but she has gotten really used to sleeping with Amy. "Sleep is important."
But Karma can't sleep. She feels excited and nervous all at once, knowing Amy has seen her. Really seen everything. And is that really so new? Amy has definitely accidentally seen Karma undressed for brief periods. (Sometimes not so accidentally.) Karma really isn't so shy about her body, despite being insecure in almost every other area.
Karma knows she's already started initiated a new dimension to their relationship, and it makes her feel good, because Amy is the most important person in the world to her. Amy Raudenfeld is the only person that really gets Karma Ashcroft on a visceral, intellectual, and intrinsic level. But what bothers Karma is that she can't discern if this is something that she wants for herself. She knows that Amy wants her sexually and romantically. She loves feeling wanted. She loves the glint in Amy's eye, the awe, the passion—Amy's looks always make her feel exposed.
But Karma doesn't know if she can say that she has ever looked at Amy that way.
A/N: I have the rest of this story plotted out! Please be wary, there will be several trigger warnings for the next chapter. But I think you guys will really enjoy chapter six; it's probably the kind of content that you came here for (hint, hint).
also, here is a list of references. i don't mean to steal from anyone!
(1) the last chapter had lyrics to the song "better" by guns n' roses.
(2) this chapter has the lyrics to the song "the right kind of wrong" by leann rimes.