Ana's Puppet

by Wastedsoul

She was known as the "Ice Queen" in the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. In the courtroom she was just that. . Nobody knew however that her mind and body were at war with each other. A dangerous game of loss and gain. But what happens when people start to notice. Will anyone be able to save Alex? Warning: Contains Anorexia and self-harm themes.

2. Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of its characters. This story is entirely fictional and is based on my own experiences.

Authors note: Thankyou to everyone for all your support for this story already, I really do appreciate it so this first chapter is for all of you ? Also I would like to add I'm aware that in the TV series that Alex has always been quite thin, but for the purposes of my story I've started her as slightly overweight. The reasons for this will be revealed later on. Please enjoy.

As usual xxx are scene breaks, and italics are thoughts.

Also I'm sorry its such a short chapter, but I needed to set the scene for what's to come ?

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It had been another long day in the 16th precinct. Alex loved her job, but it was days like this that she also hated it. Hated that there were so many victims. Victims that didn't deserve what happened to them. Nobody deserved to be brutalized.

Kicking off her shoes, she padded her way on the soft carpet of her Manhattan apartment. An apartment that would probably take ten years to pay the mortgage off, but that was ok. She wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. When she had been assigned to the Special Victims Unit, she had no idea she would get so attached. Attached to the job and to the people she worked with. Never before had she worked with such caring and committed people. They called themselves "a family" and had welcomed Alex into the fold. That was six months ago. Six months of cases, most of which she had won, but some that she had lost. Any case that she lost was one too many.

Today was one of those cases. She had presented a strong case, but the Perp's defence was stronger. It was a case of he said she said, involving a high ranking executive who had raped his secretary. The young woman hadn't come forward until more than a week later, leaving a rape kit out of the question.

Reaching the kitchen Alex opened the refrigerator and stared at its contents. Bottled water, berries, apples, sugar free jello and vegetables were all that her fridge contained. Alex had been battling Anorexia since the age of 12, but thanks to being the niece of Judge Bill Hermann her medical records were sealed and away from the public eye. That did not mean that she was recovered, she was far from it. But she had been "managing" as best she could for the last six months. But she had started to go downhill again, her weight was dropping and the self harm urges had become stronger and stronger.

Until 3 weeks ago she had been maintaining a BMI of 25. Whilst this technically put her in the overweight category, it was what she had, had to do to keep herself from ending up in hospital again. Her brain seemed to only work in the "all or nothing" category, meaning that she either restricted her intake or overate. It wasn't bingeing but it wasn't healthy either, but being tall had meant that she looked normal to anyone that looked at her. But now with the Anorexia getting stronger, she just couldn't do it anymore. She had to get her weight down, and she had to do it right now.

You don't deserve to eat, you stupid cow. You lost the case today. Your pathetic, the perp getting away was all your fault.

Closing the fridge, she made her way into her bedroom. Stripping down to her underwear, Alex stood in front of the mirror. Anger bubbling inside of her she pulled at every bulge of fat that was on her body. Fat where bones were supposed to be.

You need to get rid of this now. Everyone at the precinct thinks you're a fat monster. And they are right. You'll never amount to anything without me.

Quickly changing into sports clothes, she made up her mind. She was going to lose this weight. Grabbing her keys, she locked the door and set out for a run.

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Back at the precinct detective Olivia Benson, was finishing her report. Or she was trying to at least. She couldn't get her mind off Alex. There had been a look in Alex's eye today that she just couldn't place. They had lost cases before but this was different.

Making a mental note to keep an eye on her, she diverted her attention back to her report. If she could just concentrate she might be lucky to get home by midnight.