8. Finding Strength (Severus/Remus)
Severus sat in the back of the library reading his favorite book of Quotes, "Quotes to live by". He continued to read and re-read the same Quote over and over again, "Love is like war; easy to begin but very hard to stop".
He felt that this Quote represented his life right now, having just tried to break up with his secret lover. He found the other boy making love with his real boyfriend in the astronomy tower and knew right then he would never have his whole heart to himself. The moment Severus was in the same room with him however, he chickened out and ravished the other boy instead.
It was very easy to fall in love with the other boy, he was rather quiet and very smart, two things Severus loved in a relationship. Someone to talk to but who wouldn't interrupt when you spoke. He could lay with his lover for hours just listening to his heart beating under his head.
He knew that his love was dating someone else, but he couldn't bring himself to not fall in love with him. He had hoped that one day they could actually be together, truly together. He slammed the book closed and left it on the table as he went to go find his lover for the last time.
He continued saying the same thing over and over in his head, "I will break it off with him now." He had to do it now while he had that Quote in his head. He needed to prove the Quote wrong and quickly break it off and walk away.
He found his lover with his friends, but that didn't falter his steps, he walked over to them with confidence he never even thought he had. He caught eyes with his lover before he spoke, he wanted to make sure he knew he was there.
"Lupin. I need a word with you." He saw the other three boys mouths drop open and they were about to protest until his lover spoke up.
"Lead the way." Severus turned back around to go around the nearest corner, out of ear shot of the others.
When they were out of sight he found himself backed against the wall with Remus' arms locking him in place. He took his hands and pushed him away by the chest, receiving a confused look in return.
"It's over Remus. I know you never intend to leave Black and I can't do this anymore." Severus tried to walk away but was pulled back.
"What? No, I love you Severus." Remus tried to kiss him but he pulled all his inner strength and pushed him away again.
"No. I love you. You never loved me if you choose to stay with Black. Goodbye Remus." Severus looked into his lovers eyes one last time and quickly left him standing him in the hall. He cried himself to sleep that night and for many nights after, wishing things were different