Chapter 12: I really am sorry, Minako, but someone has to be the mean girl

[Scene: Friday morning, after homeroom. Zoi and Umino are walking to their lockers]

Umino: So what did Kunzite want yesterday?

Zoi: I don't know. He never really got to the point.

Umino: You know, I've never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird.

[They open their lockers and can't help but overhear Rei talking with Naru and Mamoru. All of them have their backs to Zoi and Umino and don't realize they are there.]

Rei: Look at them. It's like a fricken Norman Rockwell painting. [Pointing off in the distance at Motoki, standing at his locker with his arm in a sling, while Usagi holds his books to her chest and sways from side to side as she gazes at him adoringly] Hey, Mamoru, doesn't it bother you that Usagi only asked you out because Motoki has to work?

Mamoru: Not really. It's not like she was my first choice either.

Rei: Hey, wait a minute. If she wasn't your first choice, what does that make me?

Mamoru: Er…um… [puts his hand behind his head and breaks into a sweat]

[Fortunately he's spared from answering by the arrival of a gorgeous blonde with shampoo commercial hair, wearing the latest designer labels straight from the London runway.]

Minako: Greeting and salutations, my fellow harlots, [Gives Rei and Naru air kisses] I'm back from my gig in Milan. Where's my girl Usagi?

Rei: [Jerks her thumb in the direction of Usagi and Motoki] She's off playing Mother Teresa with Motoki.

Minako: Oh, my gawd, that's so sweet! I'm getting a sugar high just looking at it. [Lowers her voice] Have any of you strumpets seen Kunzite today?

[Zoi leans closer to his locker and pulls up the hood of his sweatshirt to cover his hair. Umino opens his mouth to ask something, but Zoi places his finger to his own lips. Umino
takes the hint. He follows Zoi's lead and they hide their faces behind the doors to their lockers.]

Rei: I can't say I have, why do you ask?

Minako: I ask cuz he is looking HAWT! [fans herself with both hands and pants like a dog]

Rei: Geez, Minako, you haven't been away THAT long.

Minako: Yes, I know… and this is Kunzite we are talking about, the guy is incapable of not looking hot, but I'm telling you, today he's looking grade A extra choice!

Rei: Really? Because I saw him sitting with Zoi Midori at lunchtime yesterday, he still looked like the same old Kunzite to me.

Minako: Who's Zoi Midori? [flips her hair] Oh, isn't that the new boy? The skinny little wimp who faints at the sight of his own blood?

Rei: [nods] Yeah, that's the one.

Minako: Ha. I thought so. What's a Hottie Mc Hotster like Kunzite doing with that twerp?

Naru: I don't know. But they both seemed pretty angry about something. [gives Rei a questioning look]

Rei: I have no idea, but he should just go and sit with Kunzite from now on.

[Zoi's heart sinks as the girls all laugh.]

Mamoru: [annoyed] Zoi's my friend. He sits with us.

Minako: Shhh… Get ready to feast your eyes ladies, because here he comes.

[Kunzite walks by, wearing dress shoes, slacks, pencil thin black leather shoulder suspenders, and a deep blue dress shirt with the top three buttons undone to showcase his rock-solid chest muscles. Mamoru sulks while Minako and her friends pivot their heads to watch him go by past, then continue to stare as he makes his way down the hall.]

Minako : [makes squeezing motion with both hands in the direction of Kunzite's buns] Muy caliente! Mama like! Mama like!

Naru: Minako, you really should ask him to the Lady's Choice Dance.

Rei: Absolutely. You two are perfect for each other.

Minako: Oh, I don't know about that. I mean I do ok for myself, but he's hot, he's rich, and he's built like a pornstar. What if he turns me down?

Rei: Minako, you're a professional model. You've done makeup ads. Your face is on a billboard in Japan, for crying out loud! If anyone at this school has a shot at Kunzite, it's you.

Minako: Oh, I don't know about that. I think they just pick me when they need someone who looks like an average teenage girl.

Naru: You do not look like an average teenage girl.

Rei: [nods] You're definitely better than average.

Minako: Oh, really? [Sidles in between Rei and Naru and flips her hair] Exactly how much better?

[Zoi slams closed his locker and walks in the opposite direction. Umino tags behind him.]

Zoi: I don't really feel like eating in the cafeteria today.

Umino: [glances over his shoulder] Yeah, me neither.