Chapter 20

Contact

"Here it is!" Finn shouted triumphantly, holding up the small object. It hadn't taken him longer than ten minutes to find the storage device hidden within the AT-AT walker, while Poe was standing outside watching him and staring at the place where his life had taken a dramatic turn. He remembered the scratches on the metal hull and he approached them slowly, letting his fingertips glide over the hot, coarse surface, his nails catching in the lines of the makeshift calendar.

"What are you thinking about?" Finn's voice came from behind and for a moment Poe wished for Finn to wrap his arm around his torso. But he didn't. Finn hadn't been overly affectionate since they had left Morap's ship and Poe couldn't even blame him. He swallowed hard and shook his head.

"Nothing big," he sighed. "Just remembering." The moment when he had reached out to touch Finn's hand, his mind numbed by and his every action drowned in fever. In a way those first touches in a moment of deepest despair had been the beginning of something new. Something big. Something that had flipped his life around within a few hours. Well, maybe not his life, but the way he looked at it, surely. He looked over his shoulder to see Finn still standing there, a frown on his face.

"I have thanked you for staying with me, haven't I?" He didn't only mean that day and that night here on Jakku, but also all these other instances when Finn had stood by his side when he'd had every right and every opportunity to leave.

"You're turning into a philosopher again?" Finn's voice was softer than Poe would have expected.

Smiling vaguely, Poe shrugged. "What do I need to do, Finn?" he asked. "To make you trust me again?"

"I trust you!" Finn said, stepping closer. "You know I do! I just wish I hadn't seen that guy kiss you. I can't get the image out of my head."

Poe nodded.

"And I know you didn't want it either," Finn continued before Poe could reply. "But…"

"Yes, I know." And Poe was fully aware of how it must have felt like to Finn. Hell, had he seen anyone else kiss Finn, he wouldn't have been able to stay calm! Turning around slowly, he reached out to take Finn's hand, almost like he had done the first time they had been here. Finn didn't flinch away and just stood there, returning Poe's gaze.

Finn had gone through so much. In a lot of ways, Finn's life had been so much harder than Poe's had. Before they had met, Poe hadn't even thought about what it must feel like to be a Stormtrooper. He at least had always had memories of his mother, no matter how distorted by First Order conditioning these memories were. Finn didn't even have the name his parents had given him. Finn had been denied his own identity, first by the Order, then by his comrades but Finn had managed to pull free and yank Poe along with him.

Without Finn, Poe would never have made it this far. In fact, he would have died in that village, without even knowing about his mother. Without knowing what freedom felt like. Without ever getting to opportunity to see how wrong his life had been up to this point.

Poe's lips stretched into a smile. "Can I prove to you that you are all that matters to me?"

"Apart from getting back at the Order?" Finn raised his eyebrow and Poe nodded.

"Well, getting back at the Order is part of the plan, I suppose," he whispered. "With the Order out there we're going to have to watch our backs constantly. The Republic poses a threat as well, but not like the Order." He shook his head. "But that's not what I was getting at!" Tentatively, he pulled Finn closer, glad to feel no resistance coming from the other. Encouraged by this, he wrapped his arm around Finn, resting his hand between Finn's shoulder blades. He could feel the heat emanating from Finn through the fabric of their clothing and could see the droplets of sweat on Finn's neck. "I want to be safe. With you. I want to keep you safe for a change as well. If you let me." He paused again, waiting for Finn to interrupt him, but all Finn did was return his gaze. "And I know it's stupid and overly emotional, but I would like for the two of us to undergo one of those stupid ceremonies."

Finn snorted. "You want to get married?"

Sensing how stupid and desperate he had sounded, Poe made to pull away, but all of a sudden Finn's hands were on his hips, holding him in place.

"Hey, don't stop now." Finn's eyes were gleaming now and Poe couldn't help but laugh nervously. Marriage between man and woman was customary enough in the Order, especially since it promoted childbirth. Two men or two women getting married however didn't happen. Two people getting together to engage in sexual intercourse and eventually produce children was one thing, but commitment was forbidden, when it didn't help promote the Order's gains. What he and Morap had had, hadn't been considered serious. This here with Finn was. It was so serious in fact that Poe had put his entire life in Finn's hands within a heartbeat.

"Maybe I do," Poe muttered, his hands on Finn's chest. "But the way things are now…"

"Did I tell you to stop?" Shaking his head, Finn put his hand on Poe's cheek, thumb caressing his cheek. "I'll get over this soon enough. I don't want to give you up, just because of that guy…" He sighed, his breath hitting Poe's lips and making him want to lean in. "Listen, if those ceremonies mean anything to you, then fine, I'll do it."

"No… not because of the ceremony." Taking a deep breath, Poe took Finn's hand in his. "I want to promise you something. I don't even want witnesses. There's not a soul in the galaxy who'd even care. But I do."

"Another speech, huh?"

"Shush." Poe squeezed his hand, then took the other as well, holding both of Finn's hands and trying to swallow the panic rising up in his throat, threatening to overwhelm him and make him pass out. Finn's smirk didn't help much. "Finn, I love you and you know that. And I want you to know that for as long as I live and for as long as you let me, I will be by your side. I will protect your ass if I need to and I want to keep feeling safe with you. Because I do. You're the only person I ever truly felt safe with and I want you to feel the same way."

Finn's eyes widened, but there was a certain gleam in them, Poe couldn't ignore. A gleam, which made him want to pull Finn closer again and apologize for what he had said. "What do I even say now?" Finn whispered, then cleared his throat, his fingers squeezing Poe's slightly.

Poe could feel them trembling, could feel the pulse of the other starting to pick up.

"Well," Finn cleared his throat again and took a deep breath. "Can't say I feel any different about you, because I don't. You were the first person to ever appreciate me for being different from all the other Troopers." He smiled and Poe's heart plummeted, realizing only now what was happening here. This was it. "And you made me want to prove that I was more, time and time again. We managed to pull free together and I guess I want things to stay like that. Free. You and me."

Poe's breath caught in his chest and time seemed to have frozen at this precise moment. They were standing here, holding hands, their eyes locked, unable to move, unable to say anything. Poe's mind seemed to be focused on one thing, and one thing alone.

Finn.

And in Finn's eyes he could see something similar.

Poe.

And that was that.

Finn's lips twitched up into a soft smile. Of course he was the first to move. The first to pull himself out of this stupor which was making Poe's limbs feel like lead. There was something in Finn's gaze that made Poe realize what this moment actually meant. That this was more. More than just a promise. More than just a feeling. Finn's hands moved up his arms, resting on his shoulders for a moment.

Unable to breathe steadily, his knees almost giving way, Poe breached the distance dividing them, hands on Finn's waist, as Finn cupped his face. The shadow Morap had cast over them seemed to have retreated, at least for a while, allowing Poe to bask in this radiance that was Finn. When their lips met, the stifling heat of the planet pushing in on them, their feet sloshing through the white-hot sand gathering inside one of the last remnants of the old Empire.

The Beebee-unit had plugged itself into one of the sockets to recharge in the corridor. Poe could see it through the open door and couldn't help wondering whether or not they should have closed the door after all. Finn's hand was lying on his bare chest, his breath weaving gently through Poe's hair. Finn's soft snoring along with the humming of the engines made Poe's eyelids feel heavier than they had ever been.

Raising his hand, he rested it on Finn's shoulder, his fingertips drawing circles on the still hot skin. It had been the first time they had made love since departing from Morap's ship and the first time since they had made promises in the vastness of the Jakku desert. Promises, which felt decisively like vows. Grounding him and lifting him up at the same time.

Finn moved his head, lips trailing over Poe's skin. "What?" he asked, sounding grouchy. Finn hated getting up by now. It was one of the things he had allowed himself to develop over the past half year. Not having to stick to a schedule at all times in combination with the ability to fall asleep in any kind of situation in case rest was really needed, had facilitated this. Not that Poe minded. On the contrary. Finn sleeping next to him was soothing.

Finn blinked, then wrapped his arm more tightly around Poe. "That dream again?" He looked up and the concern in his eyes made Poe's heart contract painfully.

"Didn't sleep," Poe muttered. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." The very mention of the dream sent a cold shiver down his spine as he remembered the broken eyes and the parched lips forming his name. He swallowed hard. "I was just wondering about Meelan."

He could practically watch Finn resigning himself to waking up fully. With a sigh, Finn's shoulders tensed and he rested his chin on the hand lying on Poe's chest. His weight too was calming somehow. Warm and steady. "What about him?"

Poe hadn't ceased stroking Finn's shoulder, but now he did, gently touching Finn's eyebrows. "I'm wondering whether or not it was a complete coincidence the Order caught up with us when it did," he replied in a low voice, raising an eyebrow significantly. "The only thing not quite adding up is that they sent Meelan. He let us go, but then again he seemed genuinely surprised to see us there. And-"

Finn's finger to his lips stopped him mid-sentence. He made a little shushing sound, then shifted on the bed to get up. As he moved over to the door to close it, Poe couldn't help but let his eyes wander over his body, which had become so much softer over the past six months without losing any of its strength.

"You didn't mind Beebee-Ate watching us about half an hour ago," he commented, sitting up and patting the mattress next to him invitingly.

"No, it was fine." Finn sat down again with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Kinky," Poe grinned, wrapping his arms around Finn's shoulders and trailing kisses along his jaw.

"I didn't tell it to record anything… I mean. It's just a droid, why should I be bothered by it?"

Poe nodded, moving his hand over Finn's chest. "But you were wondering if he might have already sent some info to Morap?"

Shrugging, Finn placed his hand on Poe's and gave it a little squeeze. "It's a possibility, right?"

"I guess it is," Poe sighed, leaning back and pulling Finn with him, so Finn was lying in his arms, his back pressed against Poe's chest. "I'm going to contact him anyway. We have the device, we should try and get it to the Resistance as soon as possible." He saw Finn nod, albeit reluctantly, but that didn't really matter now. "You're still okay with that?" Poe asked, moving his hand over Finn's side and pressing his lips to Finn's neck, tasting the remnants of sweat there.

"Well, it's not a perfect solution, but I guess it's the best we can do."

"I know," Poe sighed, knowing full well what might happen to them once they contacted the Resistance and declared who they were. They might very well end up in one of the New Republic's prisons if they didn't play their cards right. But if they did, they stood a lot better chance of getting out of this alive than if they faced the Order again. "But at least we're doing this together," he said. "And I like doing things with you."

Finn laughed and shook his head. "You do realize that what you're implying there had nothing to do with what we plan to do next. Delivering ourselves to the Resistance is-" He hissed softly as Poe cupped him gently, cutting him off. Finn was already getting hard again, when Poe moved his fingertips up his cock, circling the tip with his index finger. "What are you doing to me?" Finn muttered, his breathless voice adding to the soft pressure building up inside of Poe.

Moving closer again, Poe shifted behind Finn pulling Finn close with one arm, while never ceasing to move his hand over Finn's cock.

"I can only return the compliment," Poe said, sitting up slightly to nibble at Finn's ear. Finn's breathing was picking up again and when Poe looked down at his face he could see him lying there with his eyes closed, a vein visibly pulsing in his temple. It was all Poe could do, not to reach over to the nightstand and grab the lube straight away.

As usual Finn was the one taking the initiative. He was the decision maker in this relationship and Poe loved him all the more for it. For the strength he showed by doing this. By acting instead of drawing out every single decision. Finn pecked him on the lips, his breath hot against his skin, then took the tube already waiting for them and pressed it into Poe's hand.

"Get on with it." Finn's pupils were wide and as Poe applied the lube to his own cock, he didn't break eye contact once, still unable to fully grasp what they had done on Jakku. Not that he and Finn had ever really talked about parting ways at some point in the future; on the contrary: whenever the subject had come up, the other party would always step up and stop the conversation right there and then. But still… they had committed to each other in a way Poe would never have considered with anyone else. No one but Finn had ever been this important to him. No one but Finn had ever managed to take over his entire world.

Breath catching in his chest he pushed into Finn, Finn's barely audible gasps urging him on. He waited for a moment, going slow, waiting for Finn to get used to having him there, before starting to move again. Finn's back still pressed firmly against his chest, their faces only millimetres apart, their breath intermingling, Poe picked up a slow pace, revelling in Finn's tightness and heat surrounding him. When their lips met, the kiss pulling Poe deeper into this ever-growing closeness between them, Poe felt his heart contract in painful bliss.

Finn was his, he told himself again. And he was Finn's.

What more could there possibly be? Everything else, all other obstacles still standing in their way only seemed like minor hurdles, as he picked up the pace, Finn returning his thrusts eagerly, moaning into the all-consuming kiss.

Finn came before him, spilling into Poe's hand with a sound of relief which pushed Poe over the edge effortlessly. He kept moving inside Finn slowly, panting and feeling his limbs grow heavier as he cradled Finn's head in his arms and stroked Finn's stomach with the other hand.

"Are we going to spend the rest of our lives like this?" Finn said and Poe opened his eyes to look down at him. "Doing this whenever we have time to spare on long flights?"

Laughing softly, Poe pressed his lips to Finn's temple. "Depends on whether we're in the mood I suppose," he grinned, pulling out of Finn so Finn could turn to face him.

"How much time do we have before we drop out again?" Finn asked, his fingers stroking Poe's hair. Poe had realized how fascinated Finn seemed to be with his curls and he simply loved Finn's hands there. Even if it was just a casual touch. It felt familiar, endearing even, the single brush of fingers through his hair making him shiver every time.

"A few minutes," Poe said shrugging. They had scheduled a break to contact Morap again, not wanting him to be able to follow their every step. "I'd better get going, huh?"

Finn nodded, stretching lazily. "Need my help?"

"You stay put and rest a bit." Poe grinned, kissing Finn's forehead and shifting slightly to climb over Finn and get dressed.

"Aren't you tired, old man?"

"I am, thanks to you, but the next time you call me 'old', we're going to have a serious talk about your own issues. Remember that you just married this old man. What does that say about you, huh?"

"Fair enough," Finn grinned and as their eyes met, Poe's heart skipped a beat, while his entire being seemed to be lifted up. They were married. No official service or ceremony had been conducted, but who needed that anyway? They had each other and Poe just knew that what they had promised each other was more binding than any legal document he might have signed.

Giving Finn's hand another squeeze, he picked up his clothes and started dressing.

The Beebee unit was waiting for him, its dome shaped head cocked to the side and once again, as Poe slowly made his way towards the cockpit, closing his fly as he walked, he wondered if this astromech wasn't some sort of spy droid after all.

On passing the lounge area, Poe saw the data storage device lying on the bench. He picked it up, swallowing hard as he examined it's asymmetrical design. Sitting down on the bench, he heaved a heavy sigh. How much damage had he caused the galaxy by taking this from San Tekka? Would having Skywalker with them have helped the Resistance save the Hosnian System? Poe didn't know, just like he didn't know so many other things and as he sat there, staring at the device lying in his hand, the boiling anger at Kafr and his entire damned First Order started rising up inside him again. He had been stupid and deliberately kept this way for the Order. Moreover, he hadn't even made an effort to think for himself. Blind faith in the Order and in Kafr had led him to Jakku in the first place and then, later, to his mother's execution. Closing his eyes against the sudden onstorm of tears, he clutched the data storage device tightly in his hand. If Surpreme Leader Snoke wanted it this badly, then he couldn't possibly be allowed to have it! And the only place relatively safe from him was with the Resistance. Taking a shuddering breath, Poe opened his eyes again. The storage device needed to be taken to General Organa as quickly as possible, along with the schematics he had still on his datapad. The Beebee-unit was standing in front of him and when Poe looked at it, it gave a soft whistle.

"Would you like to help me reach your old master?"

A sound which could only be an affirmative came from the droid and it started towards the cockpit, then turned around again, whistling again.

"I have no idea what you're telling me here, you know?"

Without another beep, the droid rolled towards the comm station and plugged in. Within seconds, letters started scrolling down one of the screens. With a frown, Poe took a step forward to read what the droid was writing.

Master,

I appreciate your concern regarding my loyalties. Morap Bendar gave me to you to help you. He is a smuggler and a good master. He rebuilt me from schematics his father left behind despite the fact that he did not need an astromech droid anymore since he stopped flying fighters. Among the first things he did was tell me about you. He is very talkative. I am aware of your history and everything it entailed. He does not wish to betray you.

Poe scoffed. "You know, that's exactly what a spy droid would say," he muttered, sitting down on the chair at the console, smiling down at the droid. "Morap built you? That's hard to imagine."

The droid whistled again and a minute later more letters appeared.

He employed a mechanic to help him after a few attempts.

"That I can believe," Poe nodded. "You have a weird personality protocol, you know that?"

How do you mean?

"You're snarky. Grumpy."

So are you.

Poe swallowed hard, staring down at the droid, then back to the screen and back up again. He hadn't expected that… maybe the droid really wasn't after information and Morap giving it to Poe might have really been a sincere gesture of apology. "Alright then…" Poe sighed, telling himself that he needed to have the droid checked for a tracker soon despite its claims of not being a spy. "Fine. I'm Poe, then. Don't call me master. That sounds weird."

My name is BB-8. Don't call me droid. Sounds weird.

"Nice to meet you, Beebee-Ate," Poe grinned, patting the droid on the head.

A loud whistling protest made him pull his hand away. Only reserved for rare occasions.

"So, what is this Bendar guy saying?"

Poe turned around in his chair, looking at Finn standing in the doorway, still only halfway dressed.

"Nothing yet," Poe smiled, getting up and moving over to the pilot's station as the light started flashing. He pushed the lever away from his body and the starlines collapsed back into stars. "Here we are," he murmured. "Actually I've been chatting with our new friend here. Nice guy." Shrugging, he looked at Finn again, who only returned his gaze with a raised eyebrow, before proceeding to put on his tunic.

"If you say so…" Finn said quietly, bending over the comm console and reading up on what Beebee-Ate had communicated. "Yeah, he sounds a bit like you." With a small smile, he sat down. "Well, I guess I should try not being this jealous. I mean, you just promised me something and I sure as hell won't forget that so easily."

"Neither will I." Poe put his hand on Finn's shoulder. "Alright then. Beebee can you establish contact with Morap? Tell him we'd like to meet with someone from the Resistance? We have something big to give them. Tell him," he exchanged another look with Finn and at a nod from his partner, he went on: "Tell him he can tell them who we are. Tell him he can say who my parents were. Maybe that'll get their attention."

Beebee-Ate chirped again and Finn wrapped his arm around Poe's waist, pulling him closer. So this was it then. They were about to find out how stupid they actually were.