"Dawson," Boden said, rousing her from her thoughts as she stood against the wall in the waiting room. The others were sitting around the room, some leaning on each other, others slouched over onto their knees. She saw Kelly and Shay curled up together, possibly sleeping. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
"Yes, sir?" she replied, standing up right and looking at him. Her arms were behind her back, standing in the ready stance, waiting for an order. He shook his head, "Good work out there." She nodded and returned to her previous position.
She didn't know how long they had been in that room, in a type of purgatory. She wasn't used to waiting. She was used to being on the front lines, to being the one taking care of the wounded. Never did she expect to be the one waiting. She looked around the room, remembering names and faces. Remembering what they were doing when they were put in the waiting situation. Not only was it calming, but it helped heer judge how they would react in similar situations, how calm they were going to be during the bad times.
"Chief Boden," she heard a woman say as she walked up to the man. Boden shook her hand, but remained silent. Obviously he knew her, and it seemed like everyone else did also. Shay stood up and walked over.
"How is he Kendra?" Again, it was obvious that the others knew Kendra. She stood back in the ready-stance, preparing herself for the worst. That was to be expected when you've spent the last year seeing limbs torn from bodies, and blood everywhere. Times where you hold a person's intestines in your hands, or hold an artery shut while you wait for a way to get back to base. And then the times where someone who's coughing up blood - knowing well that they won't survive this - asks you to call their family, to reassure them and give them the last message or photo.
"He has a pretty bad concussion, and he lost a good amount of blood into the thigh, but he's going to be fine. I don't suggest he go back to full duty for a couple weeks, but riding along and giving the orders will be fine starting next shift. He'll be out tomorrow, just want to observe him for the night." Dawson nodded her head while the others muttered their thanks to Kendra. She looked over to Shay who was giving her a look that she didn't even want to know what it meant. When Shay walked away, Dawson followed. Once at the end of the hall, Shay stopped and turned quickly to face her.
"What the hell were you talking about in the rig?" she asked, hushed but aggressive. Her hands were on her hips, head cocked to one side waiting for the answer to the question, a story Gabby never wanted to have to relive.
"I'll explain after shift. I just want to get back to the house and get the next twelve-hours over with," she replied, hoping Shay would forget in that time. However, a part of her didn't think that would happen. Shay seemed to be one to hold on to those kinds of questions.
"Back to the house," Boden called out to everyone, and they followed the order. Dawson followed Shay out of the building and back to the rig. The ride was quiet, only the sounds of the city passing. She glanced back and forth between Shay and the road until they got back to station. The rest of the shift passed by almost uneventful. They had a cardiac arrest, and a house fire, but nothing out of what Gabby could presume to be the ordinary.
When shift ended, Shay walked up to Gabby at the lockers with another look Gabby couldn't quite decipher. "Let's go grab some breakfast," Shay suggested. With a small smile and the roll of the eyes, Gabby followed Shay out of the building and out onto the street. "There's this really awesome diner a few blocks away." She nodded at the suggestion again, walking with Shay.
"So, I guess you want that question answered?" Shay glanced over with a small smirk as if she knew she had won. "I'll answer all your questions after we get food." Gabby smirked back, knowing that for just a moment she was the one who'd won. When they arrived at the diner, Shay chose a booth towards the back of the room, secluded even. It definitely made Gabby feel safer.
"So?" Shay asked right after sitting down. "You've got to meet me halfway on this." Gabby nodded, looking out the window.
Gabby had just joined the army, laying in the barracks after a long day of training. She thought she was in shape for this, but she wasn't. She didn't feel like she could handle it all. A rebellious personality did not fit in well to the idea of every aspect of their life being taken from them. But she knew what she'd gotten herself into when she joined, and it was too late to leave.
Within the first two months, she'd given into the control and it was a weight lifted from her shoulders. And she'd excelled once she'd given in. Top of everything, setting new records. Every drill, every run, every practice she'd done better than everyone. There was no competition for her. So, when she was eventually deployed, she felt like it would be a piece of cake. That was until she met her commanding officer - Matthew Casey.
He challenged her in new ways. He pushed her to be the very best, hell, because of him she was the best he had. They became friends, and when neither of them were on shift, in the middle of the night they would talk about fears and hopes and random ass shit. And that was the downfall of the situation. She was babied at times, most likely his fear of losing his friend. Rarely was she in a convoy, never leading or driving when she was. She was based in their makeshift hospital most of the time until it was absolutely necessary that she go out into combat.
It was seven months into her deployment when she and Casey both went out in a convoy. Gabby was in third, Casey in second. Everything was going fine, until the explosion and confusion. When Gabby came to, she could hear screams and could see blood. She walked away with minor injuries, others not so lucky. She helped who she could, tourniquets and makeshift splints. And then she got to Casey.
She had been taught to save the living and pray for the dead. She couldn't do that to Casey though. She knew he had Hallie waiting for him back at home, he had family and friends who needed him. She removed the protective clothing, watching others who hadn't been injured working on those who needed help. When she started CPR she was afraid it wouldn't help. He most likely had internal bleeding, a head injury, something that would make her efforts useless. She could feel ribs breaking as she kept doing compressions. She could hear other superiors telling her to stop, to help those who really needed it.
By the time others came to the 'rescue' she didn't know how long she'd been sitting at his side, making sure he maintained his pulse. It had taken her twenty minutes of compressions to get it back - a miracle. Out of the twenty, eight succumbed to their injuries, and seven were in critical condition. When those who were injured were sent out to first-world country hospitals, she knew she wouldn't know if Casey had survived. She'd written to Hallie several times, but never got a response, leading her to assume her friend was dead.
She spent the remaining months volunteering to go on missions, on patrols. She had lost the one person who had made this decision make sense. She'd lost plenty of other people - Vivian in Detroit, her parents, countless others in the army. But losing Casey had hit her the hardest. That loss was the one she'd carry around, knowing she couldn't have done anything more for him and still lost him.
Until today. Until she found out that he was alive, and that she saved him the first time around, and now the second. She looked at Shay after recounting her tale, looking at the sadness and pity in the other woman's eyes, and she couldn't take it. It was the reason she wanted to keep those memories to herself, wanted to shove Iraq into the back of her mind and forget about it. Now she couldn't, now she never would. Every time she looked at Casey, she knew it would be a painful reminder along with a very bittersweet one.