"Rae left shortly after that, phasing in the woods out behind our house. Her wolf form was much more definable now, without the shaggy hair. She was a beautiful russet color with white sock on her two front feet. I smiled to myself and walked back into the house. "Hey Bells I am ready to go if you are. Where were you thinking of walking?" Bella was sitting on the couch looking a little forlorn and also like she didn't hear me. "Bella?" I approached her and shook her shoulder a bit. The way she was acting was much like the way she acted when the Cullens left...Oh my. The Cullens...did Bella know they were vampires? Fuck man...too much going on in my head I sighed and shook Bella again, but harder.
"Huh? Oh..Yea I am ready let's just go for a walk out back in the woods."
"Uh Bella last time you did that you got lost and Sam Uley found you hours later nearly frozen to death."Bella's eyes darkened for a moment. She was remembering as was I. I remembered that day clearly. Bella had gone out into the woods with Edward and he had left her due to an incident that happened at her birthday party. She never told me what had happened, but I assumed it was a big fight. Anyways. He left her abandoned in the woods and like a fool she tried following him. She didn't know her way around as well as I did and got lost. Search parties were sent out but no one could find her except for Sam. He brought her back frozen to the bone and dad carried her inside. He was only able to get her to the couch and she slept there till morning. The months after were hard on all of us. Bella woke in the middle of the night screaming often and me and dad slept in the living room alternating between the couch a blow up mattress I had bought.
"You know your way around. I'll be with you this time." She smiled slightly and stood up headed to the front door. I sighed and followed after.
The air wasn't too bad outside. A bit crisp and slightly cold, but I know I would be fine. Bella looked well clothed so she would be ok. Bella was a bit ahead of me so I jogged a bit to catch up to her. "What did you want to talk about? You sounded upset on the phone."
Without turning to look at me Bella answered. "I don't know. I am just worried about Jake. Other than the fact that he is sick, I kinda feel bad about leading him on. I know he likes me a lot, but I'm still…" Her voice trailed off in a painful way.
"Still in love with Edward?" Bella just nodded her head and kept walking. After a few minutes of silence I figured out that Bella didn't need someone to talk to, she needed company. I would fill the void of conversation by babbling. "I made a some new friends today you know. A girl named Emily and a guy named Paul. Turns out this Paul guy has a crush on me. I don't know how to feel about that...I guess I still like someone else…" My voice trailed off. Where the hell was I going with this? Hell. "But you know if I end up liking him then I end up liking him. I just don't see that as a possibility right now. And Rae is going through some stuff and I want to be there for her. She is so important to me, and I have a feeling she'll need me soon." Bella sighs and sits on a tree stump in front of me. I sit on the damp ground before her.
"I don't understand...Me and Jake were doing so well. And I like eventually...maybe with time it could have been more…" Bella's eyes watered and she looked at me. "I feel so empty. It's like this giant hole that was ripped out of me when Edward left is getting bigger. And I don't just miss him. I miss Alice, and Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper. I miss them all. They were like a second family. I mean what would you do if you lost Rae and Jake and Billy? Wouldn't you just fall apart?"
I sighed and thought about what I was going to say. Lately I had felt that I lost Jake and Billy, because of Bella. When she came to the house I would say goodbye to Jake and Billy and go walking with Rae. I used to be as close to Jake and his/our group of friends as I was with Rae, but that changed when Bella moved back. Even before she recently started hanging around Jake; Jake himself would always talk about her. It was annoying that the place I went to to get away from family; mainly the people I went to to get away from family, always talked about family. "Yes I would. I love Jake, Billy and Rae. I grew up here and with them. Dad has always been close to them and by extension I was close to them. I don't see them as second family I see them as family. I love them and treat them as such and if anything bad were to happen to any of them I honestly don't know what I would do. I think I would feel like you. Like there was a giant gaping hole in my chest that was sucking the life and happiness out of me. I feel that I would die an emotional death without them, and yes it is kinda confusing that you feel that way so quickly with the Cullens; but it is understandable. Also believe it or not I am always here for you. I am a phone call away and I do sleep in the same room as you. You're my sister and I love you."
"It was the next day and I was at the Uley house with Rae and everyone. I was nestled into the corner of the couch reading a book while the pack ate. Emily was in the kitchen cooking more food for the hungry fools. I was so engrossed by my book I didn't notice the sag in the couch next to me. "What are you reading?" I look up and into the caramel eyes of Paul.
"I smirk and reply, "A book." He gives me a slight glare. The way his eyebrows scrunch darkens his eyes.
"I know that. What is the book about?"
"It's about banshee's. This girl was born one, but never knew. She only found out after a stint in the mental ward at a hospital. It's a long story that has demons and grim reapers in it. It's really good I like it. I am also re-reading The Lioness Quartet, and The Arrows of the Queen at home. I was closer to finishing this one so I brought it with me." I smiled at him. I loved books. They drew me into a different word. A different time. They helped me get into a better mental place.
"Paul do not get her started on books. She will never stop talking about them, trust me." Rae called from the food table. He looked over to her and shook his head then looked back at me.
"While we're waiting for Jake and Jared to get back from patrol do you want to read to me?" His eyes looked so sincere I couldn't even think about him joking. I nodded my head and began to read aloud softly, so as not to disturb the others. I didn't think he even cared about not knowing what the book was about, maybe he just wanted to hear my voice. A nice thought I am sure, but probably not true.
A clutter from the doorway almost stopped my train of thought. Jake had just returned with Jared. "Jacob! I have to have a word with you little brother." I smired and lowered my voice slightly so I could listen to the lashing Rae was about to give Jakey and still read to Paul. "You still hung out with Bella knowing she knows about the vampires?! Jacob they are our enemies!"
"Hey we don't know if she knows…" His voice trailed off, unsure.
"Of course she knows Jacob! How could she not!? She was dating Edward. I doubt you get that close to a vampire without figuring out he is a vampire. It would be pretty obvious that they don't eat or sleep, they even talk differently than us. It is very obvious they are from a different time Jacob." I finally stopped reading and turned my head to look at my two best friends. Rae was in front of Jake now, visibly shaking.
"Jakey maybe you should take Rae outside…" I offered him hesitantly. Rae's head snapped to me.
"You stay out of this. This is between me and my brother. Got it?" I winced at the harsh tone directed at me. Rae usually never spoke to me this one. We had only fought once before, last year, over a boy I was dating.
"Hey!" Sam's sharp words snapped out. "You two take it outside. Now." His words were followed, but as Jake and Rae were walking out Jake muttered something under his breath to Rae and she slapped him. Jared sprang over and pushed them both out the door and into the front yard where they both phased instantly and began fighting with each other. I gasped and stood up almost running out the door. Sam stepped over and stopped me. "Let them fight it out for a bit. They need it." I bit my lip but nodded. Sighing I returned to the couch and to Paul.
"Has she ever talked to you like this before?" He asked me. "You could tell that you looked pretty hurt at her words."
I nodded my head. "Only once before have we really ever yelled at each other. It was when I was dating Jake last year." I could feel Paul instantly tense up at my words.
"You what?" He asked.