January 2014

It was Shay's first day back, and Gabby was extremely excited. It hadn't been the same since Shay was gone, the laughter a little quieter in her absence. But, she was back, and everyone was in a good mood. The air still bit at their skin, and the snow and ice never calmed down, but at 51 it was warmer and more welcoming.

Gabby had been sitting on the couch, watching a sea-life documentary with Cruz. Both of them were hating the weather, wanting to be someplace warmer. So, they lived vicariously off the shores of Australia and Florida and Mexico. They saw the animals swimming in the warm waters and they could almost feel it on their skin.

"Look who finally showed up," Severide said from the doorway, arm around Shay. Gabby looked up with a smile as everyone crowded around and gave the paramedic hugs. She stayed where she was at though, knowing she'd have plenty of time to catch up - even though during the past month she's pretty sure she's seen Shay more than she had since she started working at the CFD.

After turning back to the television, her mind started wandering. Over the past month, she'd been struggling again. Whether it was from almost losing Shay or from the accident, it was affecting her. Nightmares, flashbacks, the whole shabang. And she'd turned to Matt. He'd been there to talk to, have movie nights. When Shay wasn't there, he'd become her best friend - not to say that Shay wasn't still her best friend, but she'd had things to get through that Gabby couldn't help with. Gabby had needed someone to be there, and Matt had been.

When the documentary was done, she stood and walked to the sleeping quarters where she knocked on Casey's doorframe before entering. She sat on his bed cross-legged while he worked on his paperwork. This was almost routine for them, sitting in silence doing their own thing.

"Shay's back," she told him, opening her book to the saved page. He turned to look at her, Gabby glancing up from the book.

"That's good," he reminded her. "I think you'll both be happier." She nodded, understanding what he meant. Then, she turned back to her book and he turned back to his paperwork.

When the tones dropped, they both looked up. "Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3, Battalion 25. Motor Vehicle Accident, Roosevelt and Cermak." They both got up and went to their respective vehicles, Gabby waiting for Shay.

"Welcome back," she said as the other woman got in the ambo, heading out. Shay smiled, hand taking Gabby's. She knew what it meant, and that's all that matters. She and Shay had such a good relationship that sometimes words didn't need to be said. They knew what the other was going to say. Then Shay glanced over.

"What's going on between you and Casey? I think you'd be the perfect couple." Gabby laughed at the idea. She and Casey were just friends, at least she thought so. She wasn't so sure about her feelings, not wanting to be sure. All she wanted was what she had, didn't want it to change. At least she didn't think so. Again, she wasn't sure what her feelings were.

"We're friends, Shay. Just like you and me. It's nice to be able to talk to him again." She nodded as she talked. Nodding to herself? Or was she nodding to make herself agree with what she was saying?

They rolled up on scene, parking beside Truck 81. Gabby got out and looked at the situation. One SUV and a sedan, head-on collision. Airbags had been deployed in both cars. She walked up to the SUV, glancing inside without getting too close if the car was unstable. Inside, there was one victim in the driver's seat, conscious and yelling out for someone to get her 'the hell out of there.' The other car was a driver and a passenger, both unconscious. The force of the impact would definitely play a huge factor in that.

"Three victims," she called out to Boden, who radioed for two additional ambos. "Cars might be unstable."

"Casey, you get the sedan. We've got the SUV," Severide said to the other lieutenant. Both men took their teams and started on stabilizing the vehicles. Because the woman in the SUV was conscious and obviously alert - maybe not so much oriented - Gabby made the call for her and Shay to start with the other two victims in the sedan.

It didn't take long for Casey and the others from Truck 81 to get the car stable, so Gabby and Shay got to work quickly. Both victims were put in c-collars, both had vitals taken and were scaled on the Glascow-Coma Scale, both scoring very low.

"We've got to get them out," Shay told her. Gabby agreed, standing up.

"How long on a second ambo?" she asked Boden. He looked between her and the victims.

"Five minutes, at least," he told her. She let out a sigh of defeat, grabbing one of the backboards and turning to the men.

"We've got to get them out. One on the gurney, the other we're gonna load onto the bench-seat. Otis, you get to drive. Now, let's do this." They started on the driver, getting him out and onto the backboard and into the ambo on the bench-seat. Then they got the passenger out and onto the gurney. She knew it was going to be tough working on both in the back, but they had to get them to a hospital and it could not wait those five minutes for a second ambulance.

She and Shay got into the back and started working the patients. Twelve-leads, IVs, they played the whole game - every angle. They splinted, bandaged, but for some reason Gabby felt like it was for nothing. She didn't understand why, considering both patients were still alive. But she knew car accidents that caused that much damage to the vehicle would cause a thousand times more damage to the body inside.

What mattered was that when they got to Chicago Med, both patients were still alive. That was her job, and she needed to remember that. Whatever happened in Chicago Med after transfer of care wasn't her responsibility, wasn't her fault. She'd followed protocol, had done everything right.

After shift, she'd gone straight home - Casey dropping her off so that she wouldn't freeze on the way. Her mind was still racing after that call, caught on that one thought she'd had. She didn't understand why she'd felt like it meant nothing, and to be honest, recently, she'd had those thoughts more often. She had started feeling like her job was for nothing, that if everybody died, why did they try to stop it?

She lounged on the couch, drinking a glass of wine while watching the news. The accident was being covered again, and she'd heard it. The crash where they'd taken all three victims to the hospital alive had turned into a fatality - the driver of the sedan. Her heart stopped for a minute as she processed the new information. She wanted to call Shay, but she didn't need to know if she didn't already. It wasn't something to be spread about. Instead, she'd sat with the news still playing, but the run replaying in her mind. What had she done wrong?

As she was going over it over and over again, there was a knock on the door. She didn't want to get up, didn't want to see who it was, but the knocking persisted. So, she'd stood and walked over, opening the door to reveal Casey.

"I heard. You okay?" he asked. She nodded, leading him inside. The last couple months where they'd been talking again had let her think through everything that had happened, what they'd had before the IED and after. The struggles she'd gone through in those times, trying to get her feelings in order and get their friendship back on track. What she was about to do would put all of that in jeopardy.

He turned around to say something when she'd pressed her lips against his. She could feel him tense up for a moment before wrapping his arms around her and deepening the kiss. She was caught off guard, not expecting him to reciprocate. Once she realized he was, she pressed herself against him, their lips and bodies melding into one.