Itachi did not understand why Sakura had chosen to become a medic-nin. Sure, she was very good at it. Apparently much better at it than he was. He had quickly learned how to cure a person who had been infected from her (thanks to the Sharingan that she was rightfully, but annoyingly afraid of) and then spent the rest of the day going from cot to cot healing those who needed it most.

Rokuda and Amika had also begun to help, and Itachi noticed with a small amount of pride that he was quicker at it than they were. It wasn't really a fair comparison, he supposed, because he was a quick learner and basically a genius.

But no amount of pride staunched the flow of rage that threatened to burst to the surface as he healed the most ungrateful and demanding patients. Itachi was a calm, reserved, and patient man. He rarely flew off the handle, or even felt anger at all. He could see now why Sakura was so volatile all the time. He would be too, if he had to deal with these ungrateful bastards every day.

They complained, whined, and demanded. They coughed in his face, pushed angrily at his hands when they felt he was too close. They insisted that one of the women see to them instead.

They didn't know, of course, that Itachi was sick, too. And they didn't know that Itachi was a missing-nin capable of killing them with just a look. So, justified in their minds, the patients grated on Itachi's nerves.

His only reprieve was the occasional walk he took out to the garden to check on Yamato and Sachi. They were as well behaved as he expected two unsupervised children would be. Predictably, they were covered in dirt the first time he went to check on them, and then subsequently more dirt with each additional walk.

But they stayed in the garden and didn't cause too much trouble, so Itachi was grateful for that.

It had taken most of the day, but Itachi had finally healed everyone he was capable of healing. He was exhausted and his chakra did feel weird – now that Sakura had mentioned it. He hadn't had the chance to wonder too much about what she had said about the changing of his chakra's state. At the time, his mind had been elsewhere – which was not good, because it was definitely focused on Sakura and that was a huge problem.

But now he could focus on the slow stickiness that had weaved its way into his chakra network. It made him feel sluggish and he noticed that his chakra control had diminished somewhat. It would likely only get worse if left untreated. He assumed that he now had the means to cure that damn disease himself, but he couldn't do that until Sakura had found a cure. Or rather, he wouldn't. Because he had made a promise. He had been making a lot of promises lately.

Itachi was aware that he was in very dangerous territory. Sakura was suspicious of him and his role in the massacre. It made sense for her to be. It would have made sense for anyone to be, but especially her. She was probably the only person in the world who had met his real self. Sasuke had, and then he had shattered that image and replaced it with a monster. So now, he was just a monster to everyone who mattered.

Except now there were other people who mattered, sort of. Yamato and Sachi mattered and they didn't think he was a monster. They didn't know any better, of course. And they were too young to understand the truth.

Sakura was a wildcard, though. She was capable of understanding. She would probably even be sympathetic. He longed to tell her the truth, to let her know that he wasn't really a monster and that she wasn't too far off the mark when she said that he could have been the victim.

She reminded him of the home he could never go back to, and the family that he had killed in order to protect her and the rest of the village.

He was jealous that Sasuke had been given the opportunity to get to know the pink-haired girl, and even the kyuubi vessel who seemed to care about him more than anyone had ever cared about Itachi. And he was angry that Sasuke had thrown that opportunity away.

In some ways, Itachi regretted the decisions he had made. Looking back, he couldn't fathom another way to have handled the situation. Even if he had found one, it was no use to him now. He had already ruined his own life, accepting the hate thrown his way so that it wouldn't be thrown on Sasuke – so that Konoha would have peace.

He would have to make do with these snippets of happiness he mined from Sachi and Yamato. He would have to accept that while he and Sakura could be civil acquaintances, they would never be friends. There was no other option.

"Itachi-san!"

Itachi looked up, startled by the sound of Sakura's voice that sounded infinitely better than the petulant whines that came from the patients that surrounded him.

"Itachi-san," she said, "I think I've got it! A cure, I mean."

She reached out and tugged him arm, pulling him along back toward her office in much the same way that Sachi might have done. When they were back in her office, she pushed him gently toward the bed and pulled out needle.

"I think that this will work," she said, prepping his arm for the injection, "The technique I showed you burns off the infection and eradicates it completely so that the bacteria can't spread anymore."

She plunged the needle into his arm. He didn't like it, but he didn't flinch either.

"But this injection – it contains a trace amount of your chakra that I manipulated with mine to be able to resist the bacteria. That's why blood samples weren't very useful to me. It's a chakra based disease," she explained.

"I've never heard of such a thing," he said.

"Yeah, me neither," she said, "But this should fix everyone up, if it works. You're my guinea pig."

"That's very reassuring."

"Are you worried?"

"No, I'm sure you've done it," he said, "The Hokage wouldn't have given you this mission if you couldn't complete it."

"And it only took me a week longer than it was supposed to."

He laughed, because it was funny and he felt comfortable laughing around her. He'd already fucked up and made her suspicious. He couldn't make it any worse unless he just outright told her the truth.

"Alright," she said, "Now we just wait and see. Are there any patients left?"

"There are some people still here, but everyone has been healed to the best of our abilities," he answered.

She raised an eyebrow, "All of them? There were hundreds of people here."

"Rokuda-san and Amika-san helped."

She tsked and rolled her eyes, but she was smiling and it made Itachi's chest clench painfully for a second before it subsided.

"You and I both know that they aren't exactly the cream of the crop when it comes to medical ninjustu," she said, "Have you ever considered becoming a medic-nin, Itachi-san? I think you'd be well suited for it."

"I've been wanting to take my career in a different direction," he said.

She threw he head back and laughed at his joke and again, Itachi breathed through the tightening in his chest. He would have to remember not to make her laugh or smile again because he wasn't sure he could handle it. Even if it weren't for the physical reaction it caused in him, the guilt was enough. It should be Sasuke making her laugh – not him.

"Come on," she said, "Let's go check on Yamato and Sachi."

.

Darkness had fallen outside by the time the children had been bathed and fed. They were back in Sakura's office where Itachi was reading another book to Sachi. He had chosen this time – a book about a cat looking for its owner. Luckily, Sachi didn't protest. He didn't want to have to read another Princess Coco book while Sakura was listening.

Sakura was unfolding two cots on the other side of the room, one for Yamato and one for Sachi. Itachi was envious that they would get to sleep in here where Sakura was their only company while he had to go back to his room where there were several other men – ones he had healed earlier that day. They had been just as irritating as the rest of the patients and Itachi was not looking forward to rejoining them.

Itachi dutifully finished reading the book, even after it was obvious that Sachi had once again fallen asleep in his lap. When he finished, he took Sachi over to one of the cots and tucked her in.

Sakura had put Yamato to bed already. The boy had been nearly asleep when they brought him back inside from the garden. It was a wonder he had stayed awake during his bath.

"Are you feeling alright, Itachi-san?" Sakura asked, her voice low to avoid waking the children, "Can you feel a difference yet?"

Itachi considered for a moment, moving his chakra around through his system to see if there was a difference. Truthfully, he couldn't tell. His chakra did feel less sticky – but it hadn't really felt that abnormal to begin with.

When he didn't respond right away, Sakura moved toward him and placed her glowing hands on his chest again. He wanted to push her away, but he let her touch him anyway. He felt her chakra flood into him.

"Everything looks good," she said, "I don't see any more infection. It looks like the bacteria is cleared."

She was beaming, proud of her handiwork. Itachi found her smile infectious and he smiled, too, also slightly proud of her (and himself for his small part in finding the cure).

"Tomorrow morning I will start making batches of the vaccine," she said, "And once I fix your autoimmune disease we can all be on our way."

It was good news, and Itachi tried not to dwell on why it made him feel so depressed. His time here (his vacation, really) was coming to an end. Soon he would be back in Rain, back to being a villain.

Itachi slumped himself into Sakura's desk chair, avoiding her gaze in case she expressed annoyance at the fact that he was still in what was technically also her bedroom. He didn't want to go back to his room just yet. He didn't want to listen to the men who would assuredly be complaining for most of the night.

He took in a deep breath and held it in for much longer than was comfortable.

"Do you want to talk about Sasuke?"

He wasn't sure that he had heard her correctly. He would have assumed that Sasuke would be a sore subject for her. She seemed pretty bitter any time he was brought up. But, she had always been the one to bring him up.

"I mean, we don't have to," she said, "If you don't want to. I just thought since you seemed pretty interested when I mentioned him earlier that you might want to continue that discussion."

Truthfully, Itachi felt like it was a bad idea. It was too personal and he had already shared way too much information with her to begin with. She could be fishing for more information or trying to backstab him somehow.

But curiosity got the better of him.

"What do you think of Sasuke?" he asked.

She smiled softly, appearing to be pleased that he wanted to talk, but the smile disappeared immediately, replaced by a wistful, longing look.

"I think Sasuke is an amazing shinobi," she said, "One of the strongest I know."

"What else?"

She sighed and plopped herself down onto her bed, "Honestly, I have a lot of mixed feelings about him. I had a crush on him when we were at the academy. All the girls did. I was so excited when we were put on a team together. I thought he would finally notice me."

Itachi felt a smile tug at his lips, thinking about a young Sakura pining over his little brother.

"Did he?"

"Not quite," she said, and there was a harshness to her tone that made Itachi feel uncomfortable, "I just annoyed him. Naruto and I, we both tried to befriend him. We did work well as a team. But Sasuke was always unreachable. He was consumed by his need for revenge. Nothing else mattered to him. Not even us."

Itachi held himself perfectly still. This had definitely been a mistake.

"What would you have done, Itachi-san," Sakura asked, "If Sasuke had been the one to murder your family and left you behind?"

Never had Itachi expected to hear a question like that. How could he even begin to answer such a question?

"Would you want revenge?"

He didn't know what to say. She didn't know that Itachi had been the one to steer Sasuke down that path of revenge. Or maybe she did – it was hard to tell. Itachi had replayed that night in his head over and over again. He knew that he had made the right decision in accepting his mission. There was no other way to protect the village.

But Sasuke. Had he made the right decision by lying to him? Itachi was worried that if Sasuke knew the truth that he would hate Konoha for what they had done to his family. But he had abandoned the village anyway, in spite of his efforts to foster what he thought would be a loving home for him.

How would Itachi have felt if the roles had been reversed? Would he have stayed in the village? Would he have wanted revenge on Sasuke?

"I don't know," Itachi admitted.

"The night he left, I tried to stop him," Sakura said, "I confessed my love for him and offered to go with him. I'd have followed him anywhere, done anything for him."

Itachi watched her intently as she spoke. She had pressed herself back against the wall behind her bed and wrapped her arms around her knees. Her eyes were bright – she looked as though she might cry.

"But he knocked me out and left me on a bench," she continued, "He was gone when I woke up."

Itachi remained silent. This wasn't what he wanted to hear at all. He wished he hadn't taken her up on her offer to discuss Sasuke.

"I wonder sometimes if things would have been different if the massacre had never happened," she said, "if you had stayed in the village with him. He loved you so much. Maybe he would have loved me, too. If things had been different."

Her tears had finally leaked out. She wasn't sobbing. He wouldn't have known she was crying if he hadn't seen the tears fall. They left glistening trails down her cheeks. He watched one roll down her chin and land on her knee.

"Why do you love my brother so much?" he asked, "Why would you go to such extremes for him when he wouldn't do the same for you?"

"So much has happened to him," she said, "I just want him to be happy. And I know that he's a good person, deep, deep down."

Itachi hoped that was true.

"I hope he comes back to you," he said, "You deserve to be happy, too."

Sakura laughed and brushed her tears away with the back of her hand, "How about I just bring you back with me instead? We can cut your hair and just pretend that you're Sasuke."

Itachi found that offer very tempting, if a little silly. Obviously he could never pass as Sasuke, nor would he want to. But he would have done anything to be able to walk back into Konoha as a welcomed man. Why is that not what Sasuke wanted too?

"I was only joking," she said with a sniffle, "Obviously I'm not going to bring a mass murderer back to Konoha with me. There are children there!" She eyed the two children sleeping on the other side of the room and then collapsed into a fit of stifled giggles, chuffed by her own joke.

"I should go," Itachi said, feeling like his new roommates would be less depressing than discussing Sasuke with Sakura.

"Wait, no," she said, "Don't leave yet."

She straightened out her legs and pulled her back up straight. "I'm sorry," she said, "I won't cry anymore. Or make offensive jokes."

Itachi stayed seated partly because he didn't really want to go back to his room, and partly because Sakura wanted him to stay, which was unsettling and exciting at the same time.

"Tell me about what Sasuke was like when he was little," Sakura said. She leaned her head back against the wall and watched him. She looked a little dazed, like going from crying to laughing in the span of a few seconds wasn't something she did on a regular basis.

"He was always very eager to train with me," Itachi said, "He was always waiting by the door when I came home to beg me to train with him."

Sakura smiled.

"He wanted me to take him on missions with me," he continued.

"Aww," Sakura crooned, "He wanted to be like his big brother."

Itachi shifted in the desk chair and fixed her with a more serious gaze, "Earlier you said that you wished Sasuke was more like me. You've said that twice now."

"Oh," she said, "Well, Sasuke is just so cold all the time. Even when he's in a good mood, he's still aloof and indifferent."

She looked down in her lap and picked at her fingernails, a red blush rising up in her cheeks.

"You smiled at me earlier today," she continued, "After you told me that we aren't enemies. And I've seen you smile at Sachi plenty of times. I don't think Sasuke has ever smiled at me like that."

Itachi could recall plenty of times when Sasuke had smiled as a child. His heart clenched painfully in his chest at the realization that his brother was deeply unhappy and that it was his fault.

"Why did you do it, Itachi?" she asked, "Why did you murder your clan?"

To test his ability…

That was what Sasuke thought, because Sasuke had to think that Itachi had done it on his own volition. It was what the world should think, because any other explanation would discredit the village – would unearth its inherent cruelty. Its necessary cruelty.

There were two options. A lie that would reduce him to monster in Sakura's eyes, yet again. And the truth.

The truth was out of the question.

But Sakura had already warmed up to him (sort of). He couldn't bear to see her recoil in fear or disgust now that they were on somewhat amicable terms.

"It's complicated," he said.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do," she said, "But it was much easier to think that before I met you."

"The children's parents – their father," he said, "He's dead because of me. Because of my partner, I suppose."

"Kisame?"

He nodded. He had forgotten that she would know his partner. That she had been there that day after the tailed-beast had been extracted from the Kazekage when they fought on the same battlefield. He'd barely taken note of her that day.

"I figured you had something to do with their orphan status," Sakura admitted.

"I felt like a monster," Itachi said, "I wasn't even the one that killed him."

"Did you feel like a monster when you murdered your own family?"

Itachi paused. He really should go back to his room. He should definitely not be discussing the massacre with his brother's teammates. He should avoid Sakura as much as possible until he was able to leave. And he should try to forget that he'd ever met her once he'd gotten back to Rain.

"I'm sorry," Sakura said, "I shouldn't be antagonizing you."

He agreed, but he didn't blame her.

"You're a champ at putting up with me," she said with a smile, "I'm surprised you haven't snapped on me yet."

He half smiled at her because she was amusing and he liked her better when she was smiling and not alluding to his criminal past.

"It almost feels like we're friends, doesn't it?" she asked, "I bet we would have been."

With a pang of sadness, Itachi thought of Shisui. He had been Itachi's closest friend – he hadn't had many others. Shisui would have loved Sakura, Itachi thought. He would have made fun of her pink hair and laughed at all of her stupid jokes.

"Sakura…"

"I know, I know," she said. Itachi had a feeling that she didn't know. "There's no point in thinking about it."

"You aren't my enemy right now," he said, "but we should probably avoid conversations like this in the future."

She snorted and cast him a knowing glance, "The future?"

"We have opposing goals," he said, "We'll likely see one another after this."

"Don't you think a conversation like this could get us on the same page?" she asked, "So we could have the same goal?"

"That's impossible."

"Well, what's your goal, then?" she asked.

He couldn't answer that in any capacity. Not only was he not aware of what Akatsuki's goals were, but also his own goals only pertained to Sasuke. He couldn't share that with her without her knowing the truth about the massacre.

"Right now," he said, "My only goal is to make sure that Sachi and Yamato have a safe place to live."

"That's already taken care of," she said, "Konoha, remember? They'll be safe there. At least now that there aren't any clan killers lurking around anymore."

He was used to her teasing now, and he let the comment roll off him. It was almost refreshing to hear someone speak so candidly about it. The incident had plagued his nightmares for years, causing him a great deal of stress. And yet her trivialization of it was somehow comforting instead of harrowing like it should have been.

"See?" she said, "We're on the same page already."

"I suppose we are," he said, and it was true. Obviously Sakura would want to protect Naruto – the same man that was his eventual target. But as for her personal goals, maybe they did align in some way. They both loved Sasuke. That was a start.

"You're going to miss them, aren't you?"

Itachi glanced over at Sachi who was drooling a little bit onto her pillow. "Yes," he answered, "I'll miss them."

"Maybe we can arrange for you to have visitation rights."

Itachi laughed. He marveled at the fact that Sakura could coax so many smiles and laughs from him with seemingly little effort. He wasn't used to laughing so much. He'd forgotten how good it felt.

"I'll settle for knowing that they're safe and happy," he said.

"I'll make sure that they are."

Itachi pried his eyes away from Sachi and let them drift back to Sakura. She had slumped down on her bed and was blinking her eyes blearily. Her hair was a wild mess of pink that hovered disastrously around her face. Her eyes were on his, watching, maybe waiting for something.

"Itachi-san," she said. He kept his eyes locked onto hers. It was the longest they'd ever held eye contact so far. "I'm going to find out what your deal is. I'm going to figure out the truth about you."

He swallowed hard, but maintained eye contact. "How would you go about such a thing?" he asked. His voice sounded strained.

"Well," she began, slumping down further onto her bed. She looked ready to fall asleep. Itachi realized that she was probably exhausted. Come to think of it, he was pretty tired as well. "It would be easiest if you would just tell me."

"That's not going to happen."

"So you admit that there is something to find out."

Itachi shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm the Hokage's apprentice," she said, "I have connections. I can do it without your help."

Inwardly, Itachi scoffed. Tsunade might have known the truth about the massacre, but he couldn't know for sure. It wasn't likely. The only person who Itachi knew for sure could tell her the truth was Danzo. The chances of him telling her were nonexistent.

"You're better off not knowing," he said, his tone much steadier this time.

"That might be true," she said, "But curiosity is a powerful thing. It's your own fault for making me so curious, you know. You should have been mean and hateful, like a good villain should be."

"Is it too late to start now?"

She laughed softly, "Yeah, it's way too late. I think the only thing that would change my mind about you now is if you killed Yamato and Sachi."

Itachi made a sound of disgust with the back of his throat. What a sordid thing for her to have brought up…

She laughed again, louder this time. "See?" she said, "How can you expect me to believe that you killed your family when you can't even stomach the idea of killing these two?"

Abruptly, Itachi stood up. He couldn't take any more of this and he was tired. He approached Sakura's bed slowly, methodically, and placed his hands on the wall on each side of her head, looming over her as threateningly as he could manage.

Leaning close to her face, close enough for him to feel her breath against his face, Itachi said, "I think you should let it go." He had kept his voice low – the voice he reserved for enemies. Sakura watched him with wide eyes, fear evident on her face. She had grown accustomed to his niceness and he had grown accustomed to her sass, but things were dangerously close to being out of hand and Itachi needed to put an end to it.

He thought about activating his Sharingan for good measure, but decided against it. He didn't want her to fear him anymore than what was necessary.

"Goodnight, Sakura-san," he said, and made his way back to his room.