May 2014
She could hear PASS alarms going off around her, smoke and dust filling her lungs. She tried to stand, but she was stuck, couldn't move. She didn't know what was going on. What was going on? Think. Think. Think. She remembered going into the building, remembered trying to get the victim out. She remembered hearing the mayday on the radio, could hear Otis yelling about propane. Then, nothing. Why couldn't she remember?
"Hey, babe," she heard Matt say from behind her. His arms wrapped around her waist, and she smiled as she poured her coffee. They'd stayed at separate places, both working on packing since they'd found the best loft in Wicker Park together. She hoped Shay would understand when she broke the news, hoped that the woman would be okay on her own without Kelly. "I missed you." She heard 'aww's from behind them, knowing the house was looking at their rare, real display of affection.
"Gawk all you guys want," she called out to them, taking a sip of her coffee. He repositioned, arm around her waist as they walked over to their seats at the table. "What's for breakfast, Mills?" she then asked.
"You'll see," he responded with a smile. Mills was one of a kind in this house. Everyone was, but Mills… He brought youth back in. He was the youngest by almost ten years, being only twenty-two and the second youngest being Gabby at twenty-nine. He fed them, humoured them, and he worked his ass off to be accepted in this house. Hell, he was just weeks away from getting transferred to Squad.
Their first run of the day was an oil fire in a kitchen. Sometimes they all wondered how basic fire-safety skipped over people, or flew over their heads. For example, you never put water on a grease fire, and that idiocy cost this family their kitchen.
When they got back to the house, she saw Shay and Severide walk into the conference room in obvious disagreement. She shook her head and sat down, waiting for Casey to show after he worked on his paperwork.
"I want you to try this," Mills told her, sitting next to her with a plate of stuffed mushrooms. "I'm trying it out for the dinner, and I wanted your opinion." She picked one up and tried it, shocked by the flavor bombarding her.
"Wow," was all she could mutter before taking another one. He smiled, leaving the plate for her. She sat, reading the newspaper and eating the mushrooms when Casey walked in with a look of astonishment on his face.
"Shayveride is in a yelling match," he almost whispered as he sat down. She rolled her eyes, almost expecting it. Those two were fire and ice, and both had been known to be stubborn assholes when it came to tough situations - or most situations for that matter. They all stayed where they were, more or less, until the tones dropped again.
"All units respond, warehouse fire, 47th and Archer," the automated voice said. They all stood, and she flashed a smile at Mills before getting in the ambo.
"Everything okay?" she asked Shay. The woman had a scowl on her face and peeled out of the station like a mad-woman. That answered her question better than any words ever could.
When they got to the scene, smoke was pouring out of the upper floors, but not so much the bottom. They all got out, and Casey, Boden, and Severide got the plan straight before sending in both teams. Shay and Dawson waited outside, waited for them to come out.
"Hey, Chief, we have a vic on the first floor," Casey called into the radio. "Heading up." Boden signaled for Shay and Dawson to retrieve the victim since it was near the entrance. Once they got to the patient, she could hear crackling on the radio, but couldn't make out what the voice was saying - or who it was.
"Secure an airway," she told Shay. The woman complied, working on intubating.
"We have propane upstairs, Chief," she could make out, Otis on the radio. "Not looking-"
She kept trying to get her leg free, but it was caught at the ankle that she couldn't work her way out of. The PASS alarms were going off above her, beside her, on her. She coughed a few times, trying to get a good breath of air. She could feel pressure on her chest, and the room was still spinning. She kept replaying the sound of the explosion, and it sent her back to Iraq, to the IED, to thinking she'd lost Casey.
"Shay," she called out, needing an answer. She needed to know it wasn't happening again, that she wasn't going to lose anybody this time. "Shay!" She heard rubble move from beside her and a woman groan.
"Dawson, you okay?" Shay asked. "I can't move." Dawson sighed, one down, ten to go. She took a few deep breaths again, breathing in the dust and smoke.
"Same, my ankle's caught on something." She heard a voice on the radio, concentrating long enough to hear the voice on the other end.
"Anyone from 51, report!" she heard Boden yell. "Mayday! Mayday, emergency! Mayday, Emergency!" She could hear moans coming from all around as more people started waking up. She reached for her own radio, hoping it would work - praying it would work.
"Chief, it's Dawson. Me and Shay are stuck, but we're alive," she told him. She could only imagine him giving a sigh of relief. She could hear someone screaming from above them, obviously injured, but she couldn't do anything for them when she couldn't do anything for herself.
She had no way to determine how long they'd been trapped, only imagining being with Casey again. There was no way to know if he was okay. Boden had tried to get through to the men, but there had been no answer which meant that either the collapse was worse than they'd thought it was, or that the radios had been damaged in the explosion. Shay had kept her calm, knowing that this could bring back the memories that she didn't want to remember. When she'd seen someone walking towards them, she wanted to cry.
"Get us out," she growled at the person. The man kneeled beside her, putting on a c-collar, and she could see another man doing the same with Shay. "What's going on?"
"I'm Chout, that's McAuley. We just got here, and you two are the most accessible. We're going to get you two out of here and to Chicago Med," he told her. She sighed, knowing she had no choice in the matter. There was a high risk of spinal injury, and by refusing care she knew it increased the risk of exacerbation or serious complications if there was. He and McAuley rolled her onto a backboard. "We're going to come back in for your partner and bring her to the ambulance. Chief Boden will stay with you until we get back," he informed her as they lifted her, moving her out of the building to the ambulance. She saw Boden rush over, taking her hand.
"Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded the best she could, sighing from relief. "Everyone else is going to be fine," he reassured her, probably knowing how worried she was. He had a way with everyone, knowing what was going on and what people worried the most about.
"You'll call if you hear anything, right?" she asked. She had to know when Casey was out and if he was okay. He nodded again, moving out of the other paramedics' ways as the loaded Shay in on the bench seat. A firefighter from another house that was called in drove them as Chout and McAuley worked on them: IVs, splinting, bandaging, monitoring.
She didn't know how long she'd stayed conscious, but she woken up in a hospital bed not remembering anything after being loaded into the ambulance. She hit the nurse's call button, needing answers and pain killers.
"You're awake," she heard Herrmann say from the chair in the corner of the room. She groaned, head killing her. She didn't think of the explosion or not knowing what happened. She was still way out of it, probably a concussion. "How you feeling?" She groaned again. The nurse came in and assessed, shining bright lights into her eyes before giving her more pain medications.
"How's Shay?" she asked. Shay was the last person she remembered seeing before she passed out. He scooted the chair over and she prepared herself for the worst case scenario.
"She's fine, a little banged up, but better than you," he assured her. "Severide has a broken leg, but he's good. Capp and Toney are fine also, just scrapes and bruises. Cruz the same, Otis has some internal bleeding and he's still in surgery." She was trying to remember the names of those he hadn't said yet.
"Mills, Mouch, and Matt?" she asked. He sighed, and she knew something bad had happened.
"Mouch got pinned under a concrete slab. He got transferred to the University of Illinois Medical Center, they're hoping to reverse some of the paralysis. Matt has broken ribs, also some internal bleeding, but they're hopeful. Mills' breathing apparatus failed after taking damage from the collapse, but they said he most likely died upon impact from the amount of damage to his skull, rather than suffocating." She sighed, knowing that the house was going to have a hard time dealing with this loss. She'd just been talking with him at the beginning of the shift, he'd made her mushrooms, and he was supposed to be joining Squad next month.
"How are you, Herrmann?" she then asked, realizing that she hadn't questioned him about himself.
"I walked out with some bruises, but that was it. I was one of the lucky ones," he told her. "You have a pretty bad concussion, you tore up your tendons in the ankle that was pinned in the rubble." She sighed, not sure what that meant for her job. Most of those in the house who had to stay in the hospital knew their jobs would be back, but that didn't mean that the timing would be how they wanted it.